Clown College No Good

[SaucyAZN]

For those of you thinking about clown college as an alternative career, think again.

Here are some sobering stats from the entering Class of 2001 at a middle-tier clown college.
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CALIFORNIA INSTITUTE OF CLOWNS & FOOLS (CICF)

Applied: 6,032 (CA Residents)
4,313 (Out-of-State)
Interviewed: 3,965 (CA Residents)
2,581 (Out-of-state)
Matriculated: 6 (All Out-of-state)


Average GPA: 3.95

Average MCAT: 13-15V
14P
S
15B

Average Shoe Size: 15 (Men's)
12 (Women's)
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Here's something else you probably didn't know...AMCAS has also cornered the clown college market. Whether it's med school or clown school, you can't escape the wrath of AMCAS.
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"Highlights" from the CICF Supplementary Application

ESSAYS: You must write an essay that answers all of the following questions, and you must do so using EXACTLY 10,088 characters (including spaces).

1) Why clown college?

2) Why CICF?

3) Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

4) What's your debit card number?

5) Are those Bugle Boy jeans?

6) On a scale of 1-10, what's your
dog's favorite boy band?

7) What number am I thinking of?


All applicants are required to have completed the following courses:

Biochemistry: 1 year
Chemistry: 2 years
Calculus: 2 years
Music: 1.5 years
English: 1 quarter
Psychology: 2 quarters
Physics: 3 years
Advanced Mime: 2.5 years

In addition, all applicants are expected to be fluent in the following:

-Mandarin
-Spanish
-German
-Klingon
-Sanskrit(sp?)
-Latin
-Ancient Greek
-Filipino Sign Language

*English is optional

Physical Requirements: Must be able to fit
entire body into a box no larger than
11in x 10in x 11in

Letters of Recommendation: 6 letters from the people below

1) Your mother

2) Pope John Paul II

3) The Manager at your local Krispy
Kremes

4) The Rock

5) The Prime Minister of Japan

6) Any former member of the New Kids on
The Block (not Donnie)

The supplementary application fee is $103. We only accept pennies made of steel from 1943; otherwise, you're out of luck!

(FYI - Pennies were made of steel back then to save copper for the war effort).
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I'm not trying to discourage any of you, but it's my obligation to present the facts before you make such a commitment. Good luck everyone!

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-The SaucyAZN Sensation

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Members don't see this ad.

 

[EW1779]

and they say pre meds have no free time!!

that's hilarious

 

[nitemagi]

F*** YOU CLOWN!!

Most people don't get that joke. Thought it was appropriate in a clown school thread.

 

[snowballz]

You did spell sanskrit correctly!!

Very cute...made me giggle. I needed that...had an exam today that I think I knocked down, totally!!!!!!

 

[watto]

That's not the half of it. Clown College is nearly impossible to get in to if you're not a Liberal Farts major.

 

[jlsrn]

I am on the floor laughing

 

[tBw]

A lot of people have been worried that the only option for graduates of clown school is residency in either the specialties of 'childrens parties' or 'circus entertainer'.

However, we are pleased to announce that with the conversion to electronic format there are now plenty of opportunities for clown employment right here at AMCAS. You will start immediately with direct patient/applicant contact. Preferably the less experience you have with admissions the better! There are many sub-specialty openings, such as: Answering a telephone (3 additional years of training), being polite (4 year fellowship), finding transcripts (almost impossible to get into!).

If your not quite incompetent enough to work for us, then don't worry. You can always work for AACOM instead.

Good luck!

 

[nitemagi]

ROTFLMAO

 

[cm7b5]

Worst episode ever.