cold feet

[bigapple]

now that i've gotten into medical school, and am preparing for the reality of spending the next 6-8 years studying to become a doctor, i'm finding that i'm getting a little more than nervous about the commitment and lifestyle...

i'm sure i can hang with the workload...it just seems that my friends who just finished their first years were less than enthusiastic about it, just because it gets so increasingly exhausting. anybody else feeling the same anxiety?

maybe it's shallow, but i do want to have fun, and want to relish my twenties. i want to be a doctor, and it's a profession that i believe in, but i sometimes wish doctors can be rockstars at the same time...

(an apology in advance to those of you guys still waiting to hear from med-schools--it's taken me two years and many waitlists to finally get accepted, so i'm incredibly grateful for having gotten in, it's just that i'm starting to feel the weight of reality)

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[JennyGirl]

Hey bigapple.

You aren't alone! Once I found out I got into med school, I started reading some books about the experience (thinking it would help prep me) and have decided that some (not all I'm sure) of them are just horribly biased and meant to scare the crapola out of you, so I stopped with that.

It's definitely going to be a trying 4 yrs+, and I definitely am starting to feel it too, wondering how I will handle it all - but just remind yourself that they picked YOU from thousands of applicants - and there was a reason for that!!

As for enjoying your twenties, just make sure you have time to have fun and put the books down - we can't all burn out the first 2 weeks of school!

Good luck!
Jen

 

[Laura JC]

I think your anxiety sounds pretty typical of anybody beginning any kind of endeavor that requires a long term commitment. I don't think being in your twenties has much to do with it. I guess I have noticed in my own med school class people who still want to be in that college cocoon kind of existence, but outside of the occasional post-exam binge drinkfest, I think most people get over that by the end of Year One, and reluctantly acknowledge that they are adults, and the college lifestyle is getting boring. Besides, what does that mean, 'relish your twenties'--I've never really understood that. What is it about the twenties that you feel you couldn't do in your thirties or forties? What exactly do you want to do that you feel you couldn't do if you were in medical school? Yes, medical school/residency/being a physician is exhausting, but most things worth doing are exhausting at times. Look at it not as a 'weight', but more like an opportunity for you to find out what you are capable of, what your limits are, how productive you can be with what you've been given. It's going to be different than anything you have ever done, but that's what is FUN about it. You have an opportunity to be in a profession that will always be intellectually challenging, different every day, crucially important to somebody and interesting (as well as tedious, frustrating and exhausting from what I understand) That is a heck of a lot more than many people ever get to do. I know SO many people who have taken a comfortable, predictable path and who have ended up regretting it. If there is something SPECIFIC you would rather do now, go for it, you can always go into medicine later, which is what I did. But if medicine excites you NOW, don't let the vague 'relish my twenties' reason get in your way. I don't think there's much validity to it. There's nothing magic about the twenties, trust me. I can do everything now that I did back then.

 

[bigapple]

the essential difference between the twenties and thirties (and forties, for that matter) is just the kinds of things we do at those different times. different alarms starts goin' off at thirty, like, it's time to get married, it's time to get settled, it's time to retire . in my twenties, i don't feel that so much, and have been socially adapted to believe that i shouldn't have to, that in the youth that is quickly ebbing away i should live abroad, seek adventure, experience various degrees of promiscuity, and theeeeeeeeen think very seriously about the rest of my life.

i want to be a doctor, whether it be now or in twenty years, but life is so short, and youth is so fleeting...i'm not saying you can't seek adventure at forty, but is that really the same as seeking adventure at 25? you've got more responsibilities, more people who are dependent upon you, and basically, more and more strings that make it harder for you to just get up and go. but even so, the older you get, you're not going to want the same kind of reckless adventure anyway, because you'll have grown wiser...and then we're gonna look back and think that one time, not long ago, we used to believe we were invincible...and there's nothing more purely courageous than that ignorance!

i know, i guess i can just defer for like ten years and go back to medicine after that, but again, i'll be thinking differently, looking toward starting a family, and will have regretted not starting sooner. all in all, it's utterly useless for me to bitch about it, but i am nervous...

i just loathe to think that tomorrow i too will join the rat race, that i will be just another cog in the machine (healthcare or otherwise), that i'll be driving a minivan, that i'll be paying income tax, standing in long lines, and going to home depot in my free time...

how the hell did i get here so soon?!

 

[Laura JC]

Originally posted by bigapple
different alarms starts goin' off at thirty, like, it's time to get married, it's time to get settled, it's time to retire .


That's true, if your desire is to lead a traditional life.


>> the older you get, you're not going to want the same kind of reckless adventure anyway, because you'll have grown wiser


You are TOTALLY wrong about that, but I realize it is very hard to convince twenty year olds of that.


>>and then we're gonna look back and think that one time, not long ago, we used to believe we were invincible...and there's nothing more purely courageous than that ignorance!


A love of adventure and a desire for a unique life comes from a real love of oneself--not from a false sense of invincibility. If there is a difference between being a kid and being an adult, perhaps that understanding is it.


>>i just loathe to think that tomorrow i too will join the rat race,


The rat race is something people settle for, who are too lazy to make sure their lives are interesting, no matter what their profession is.

 

[Penguin Poptart]

Laura JC, I couldn't agree more with your posts here.

 

[dstn2bmd]

Originally posted by Laura JC
Besides, what does that mean, 'relish your twenties'--I've never really understood that. What is it about the twenties that you feel you couldn't do in your thirties or forties?

I hear ya. I will be 29 this year and I feel as though I just keep getting better with age. Like a good wine.

Heb

 

[rebaj]

Don't get all hyped up about losing your youth through medical school. Yeah, you'll be busy, but its not as if there will never be downtime. Plus, you'll have at least a couple summers and semester breaks where you can fullfill your urges to go off and do something 'reckless' and fun if you feel like you aren't packing enough thrills into your regular life.

The fact is, if you are the type of person who finds their own happiness and seeks out fun and adventure, you'll be doing that for yourself no matter what you do. Many of the folks I've known throughout my twenties with regular jobs with decent money and lots of free time have had bboooooorrrrriiinngg lives compared to the fun stuff that i've done in the past few years while just scraping by, working AND doing pre-med stuff.

The nerves are understandable; I'm suffering from my own, but they're more focused on the 'am I good enough' or 'what if I hate it after the first couple weeks' variety. Just remember, that the only thing that can suck you into the life you fear (boring minivan driving cog-dom) is if you put limits on yourself and accept someone else's definition of the path your life has to take, and what the important things in life are. Make your own choices carefully and thoughfully and make your life what you want it to be.

 

[cdngrl322]

bigapple-i hear you loud and clear, i echo every single one of your sentiments and know exactly how you feel. you think it will never happen and when it does, you're just like whoa, is this for real? am i ready? is this what i reeeeallly want? but i guess you really have to just take a step back sometimes to see that what seemed so far away really wasn't so unreachable, and that this is what you want. and, know that you can do it. i'm totally worried about my world becoming submerged in the hectic study study study pace that med school seems to be, but like someone said, if you want certain things bad enough you will find ways to make time for it. we're all in this together!! best of luck.

 

[daisygirl]

Originally posted by bigapple
now that i've gotten into medical school, and am preparing for the reality of spending the next 6-8 years studying to become a doctor, i'm finding that i'm getting a little more than nervous about the commitment and lifestyle...

i'm sure i can hang with the workload...it just seems that my friends who just finished their first years were less than enthusiastic about it, just because it gets so increasingly exhausting. anybody else feeling the same anxiety?

maybe it's shallow, but i do want to have fun, and want to relish my twenties. i want to be a doctor, and it's a profession that i believe in, but i sometimes wish doctors can be rockstars at the same time...

(an apology in advance to those of you guys still waiting to hear from med-schools--it's taken me two years and many waitlists to finally get accepted, so i'm incredibly grateful for having gotten in, it's just that i'm starting to feel the weight of reality)

I had the same feelings of nervousness last year. My reasons were different though since I am older than you and married.

I was so psyched that I got into med school, but those feelings of joy were quickly diminished by my feelings of aprehension. During the white coat ceremony, I kept thinking about how med school had just crashed my summer vacation- and I wasn't too happy about that.

The best advice that I could offer you- remember not to 'lose yourself' along the way to you becoming a doctor. Also, when the time comes- don't worry about what your classmates are doing (in terms of studying, grades, etc...). Be yourself, make time for yourself and participate in the activities that you enjoy. IMHO, first year is difficult, and this is due to many reasons (ie. not just studying). If you are organized in your approach to your studies, you will have time to enjoy life outside of school.

One of the hardest things for me in my adjustment to school was to learn 'how to study' for med school. My undergrad methods were not working and I really thought that I was DOA during my first semester of med school. LOL, I never want to relive that semester .

 

[*fatmike*]

bigapple,

i am feeling the EXACT same way you are about medschool/life. here is my delema at the moment: i took a year off after undergrad to apply and was accepted in early may. however, since i was accepted so late, i thought i was not going to get in and would have to reapply...but i was also applying for jobs. long story short: i have a job waiting for me at the National Science Foundation (a pretty good one too, not just intern) that will start in august. I am VERY tempted to defer med school for a year (i still really really want to go) and take the job. my reasoning: i am 23 freakin years old! i will never be 23 again and why not just take one more small year to party and have a great job in DC for a year?

The question: is it worth it to take the job in DC, have a blast OR just go to med school and get on with it already....i need to decide quick, school starts soon!!! HELP!

 

[Mimicat]

I have to disagree slightly with what the majority of you are posting. The twenties are a wonderful and carefree decade and the op's concerns are very valid. Once you have children, mortgages, etc etc.... the reality of life is much more complicated. Believe me, before I had kids I would've argued til I was blue in the face that having kids wouldn't change my life that much..... but it has. It is very very difficult when you have a busy career or are attending school, to find time for pure fun. When you have a family, every speck of available time after work/school is spent either enjoying them , or taking care of family/house/financial responsibilities.

I wish I had done a bit more in my carefree 20's.... just my experience.

 

[eklope2000]

I think that most aspects of your youth (20s) are not necessarily unique to that part of your life. No one forces a person to marry, have children, buy houses/cars, have mortgages, or get themselves in any other obligations or responsibilities than the average 20-something has to deal with. These are all choices, and if a "20-something" lifestyle is what you want, then you can make the choices to live that way at any age.

But I think there are two aspects to being in one's twenties that are not so replicable later on. One is your physical appearance, physical youthfulness and health. The other (more important one, I think) is that, since we like to associate with people of our own ages, and since most people at older ages don't (and maybe don't want to) act like 20 year olds, you're likely to feel more out-of-sorts with your 'youthful' lifestyle than you would if all your friends were right there to party along with you.

I have a friend who just turned 50--divorced, no kids, extremely flexible job (works at home/any hours he wants), and has a good amount of money saved up from years of investing. He goes to clubs and the coffee houses and travels around, but he's not very happy. Why? Maybe because all of his friends are married with kids and have their full-time professions and own property etc. etc. and he's alone trying to party with people half his age.

So perhaps one has control over preserving his/her "youthfulness" by the decisions he/she makes in life, but I don't think it can ever be the same as when one really is 20-something.

 

[Bounty]

Originally posted by bigapple
now that i've gotten into medical school, and am preparing for the reality of spending the next 6-8 years studying to become a doctor, i'm finding that i'm getting a little more than nervous about the commitment and lifestyle...

i'm sure i can hang with the workload...it just seems that my friends who just finished their first years were less than enthusiastic about it, just because it gets so increasingly exhausting. anybody else feeling the same anxiety?

maybe it's shallow, but i do want to have fun, and want to relish my twenties. i want to be a doctor, and it's a profession that i believe in, but i sometimes wish doctors can be rockstars at the same time...

(an apology in advance to those of you guys still waiting to hear from med-schools--it's taken me two years and many waitlists to finally get accepted, so i'm incredibly grateful for having gotten in, it's just that i'm starting to feel the weight of reality)

Hey Big apple
I totally feel you...especially after taking this last year off after college to work and just live a 20-something life. I had an absolute blast and all my friends are going to be continuing with this lifestyle while I am starting school. They keep teasing me about how i wont have time to hang out anymore, so of course i'm getting sad!
BUT, i know that I couldnt just keep working a meaningless job and be happy....med school/residency will be hard but in the end, we'll be doing something very rewarding.
Plus, I know myself and I know that I will MAKE time to go out and have fun and enjoy my twenties as much as possible. I think it will take effort but we can do it!

 

[Bounty]

also, check this thread out....
It gives us hope!


how often do me students party?