- Joined
- Dec 18, 2016
- Messages
- 50
- Reaction score
- 11
After 8 years, I've finally been accepted into medical school, an MD. The road I've taken to become accepted has been filled with anguish and pain that would be hard to describe in a short post, but to shed some light without giving away too much personal information, I've overcome poverty, homelessness, and almost losing the only family I have. This was the very core of my application to medical school, but the very thing that stopped me from applying my first cycle. For some reason, I procrastinated applying to medical school for 2 years since I was an overrepresented minority, had a 3.5 GPA and a 517 MCAT, believing I wouldn't be accepted anywhere. Because I had already submitted primaries for whatever reason, and I qualified for FAP, I submitted my secondaries in October/November. Yet, I was still met with two interviews and a few interview waitlists (who knew that was even a thing), and later actual waitlists from schools I never thought would consider me. I was elated at the potential of attending such prestigious medical schools. I did my best in the interim to volunteer and go out and be productive with my time and was "hyped" to reapply on time. After reading that reapplicants are viewed differently, I had lost my ambition. I tried to regroup by convincing myself that the only way of getting into medical school was scoring above a 520 on the MCAT. This tunnel vision I had detracted from everything, yet ironically, I did zero studying, since I convinced myself that 3 measly points would be easily obtainable. After rescheduling my test three times and receiving the same score, yet a different breakdown, I again applied late in October and November and didn't even properly apply, only sending out secondaries to less than ten schools. Unsurprisingly, I didn't hear back from any schools, not even the ones I interviewed nor waitlisted at on my first time around. I told myself that my third attempt at applying to medical school would be my last. I had ran out of FAP (due toa previous year that I wasted) and so I paid out of pocket and applied to 40 schools. Yet, it seemed futile. I was rejected by schools that had waitlisted me, what would change. But ironically, I would get a burst of motivation that would wane and I only sent in around ten secondaries again on the last day possible. The one school that interviewed me accepted me. I wasn't met with a wave of emotions, instead I was so tired from the process inside, I contemplated telling my family for an entire week.
Looking back, I half-assed every single aspect of my application. I second guessed myself every single chance I had, and I messed up. Without giving up too much information, I work in education and I've seen what privilege affords. I thought that compared to the obscene amount of money people have to spend on essay writers, application advisors, I had no chance. When I was invited for interviews, I was so happy to be proven wrong, but then I hated myself for not believing in myself sooner. It eats me up inside to think that I had the chance of attending my dream school if I had applied sooner, if I had believed in myself. I know that I have no one to blame but myself, but now after being accepted, I'm burnt out. I was so burnt out that I was close to ending things. I've finally gotten the satisfaction of being accepted to an MD, but this process has taken something from me that I'll never get back. The mistakes I made have been incredibly elucidating and shows what procrastination can do, regardless of the cause. But how can I start medical school when I can barely pick up a pencil because I'm so burnt out by the process?
Looking back, I half-assed every single aspect of my application. I second guessed myself every single chance I had, and I messed up. Without giving up too much information, I work in education and I've seen what privilege affords. I thought that compared to the obscene amount of money people have to spend on essay writers, application advisors, I had no chance. When I was invited for interviews, I was so happy to be proven wrong, but then I hated myself for not believing in myself sooner. It eats me up inside to think that I had the chance of attending my dream school if I had applied sooner, if I had believed in myself. I know that I have no one to blame but myself, but now after being accepted, I'm burnt out. I was so burnt out that I was close to ending things. I've finally gotten the satisfaction of being accepted to an MD, but this process has taken something from me that I'll never get back. The mistakes I made have been incredibly elucidating and shows what procrastination can do, regardless of the cause. But how can I start medical school when I can barely pick up a pencil because I'm so burnt out by the process?