considering leaving medical school during 1st semester

[VisionaryTics]

What? Intensivists don't work 12 hour shifts and make good pay these days?

As the son of an intensivist, the pay is good, but the hours are horrible. Interestingly, ICU patients are actually kind of sick. And it's not shift work.

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[umean2tellme]

As the son of an intensivist, the pay is good, but the hours are horrible. Interestingly, ICU patients are actually kind of sick. And it's not shift work.

ICU patients are sick? I had no idea.

Not all intensivist jobs have great hours, as you have pointed out, but I have met many at different hospitals who only work in the ICU and work 12 hour shifts, which to me seems like pretty decent hours.

 

[viper930]

As the son of an intensivist, the pay is good, but the hours are horrible. Interestingly, ICU patients are actually kind of sick. And it's not shift work.

I wish my step 1 were so I could recognize how sick ICU patients kind of are.

 

[music2doc]

What? Intensivists don't work 12 hour shifts and make good pay these days?

Good money, sure, but the ones I know do 4.5 12s per week (which actually ends up being 5 because of demand) + 2 nights on call/wk (usually having to come in for at least 1-2 cases/night, sometimes more and always calls throughout the night) + weekend call every 3 weeks (which involves 2 additional 12 hour shifts + call all night). Average number of hours worked for those docs is supposed to be about 70 hrs/wk per contract but is really closer to 75. For $350/yr, that's more than twice what an EM doc works here (34 hrs/wk for a full-time schedule) and the EM doc makes about the same amount with less headache.... Simple arithmetic gives the pay at $93/hr . Not too shabby but also not what I would call a sweet deal either, either.

As the son of an intensivist, the pay is good, but the hours are horrible. Interestingly, ICU patients are actually kind of sick. And it's not shift work.

Same.... I was referring to my dad's group as well as the other group in the area. It's pretty bad here anyway. Maybe the rest of the country's ICU docs have it super chill....

 

[VisionaryTics]

I wish my step 1 were so I could recognize how sick ICU patients kind of are.

What is that supposed to mean?

 

[jcm5189]

It saddens me that wherever you are, there is no room for diversity. I'm an MS2 in WV and the students in my class are very accepting. You will find your place if you just give it some time. Do not let your current discouragement prevent you from helping patients who may have similar feelings. Go against the tide, do not let others define you.

That being said, without complete determination and a strong work ethic that will withstand massive blows and long hours, it will be difficult to get through medical school. With some personal reflection, I believe you will find your answer. Good luck.

 

[WolverineDoc13]

i realize that this post is really harping on the gay issue, but hey, it's a major reason for why i am having doubts.

I'm gay, and I'm one of the leaders of our LGBTQ medical student group. I grew up in MIchigan-- where they banned gay marriage back in 2004. That's old news. Now, I live in New York, which is more gay friendly, but honestly, I'm too busy in clinic or in the OR to go out to gay clubs or whatnot anyway-- if I went to medical school in Nebr-Alaba-Homa I'd still be bogged down with med school BS anyway.

Also, if you feel isolated there are many online resources for LGBT physicians. The American Medical Student Association (AMSA) has a gender and sexuality committee, which focuses on bringing together medical students from around the country to focus on LGBTQ health issues (http://www.amsa.org/AMSA/Homepage/About/Committees/GenderandSexuality.aspx). You may also find support with gay and lesbian physician organization. My favorites are Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA), which holds an annual conference [http://www.glma.org/] and the Association for Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists (AGLP)-- I'm going into psychiatry, so I'm clearly partial. [http://www.aglp.org/]

Furthermore, this country NEEDS gay physicians. Even in New York, medicine is a conservative field, and we need gay doctors like YOU to help make medicine more conducive to LGBTQ patients. One important skill of being a doctor is selflessness, right? If you decide to go through with this, you should seriously consider making the commitment to improving the lives for ALL patients-- including the gay ones. For three years in a row I give my classmates a lecture on transgender health issues because our school says NOTHING about it in the curriculum. I guess the point of this paragraph is: don't expect your school to make things easy for you because you're gay. It's tough everywhere, but it's up to us to make it better for the future generation of gay physicians.


You can always PM me if you have any questions about being gay in medical school. I'm taking a year off now after third year, so I have more spare time.

 

[Kunu]

Maybe you could try being more open minded and acclimate yourself to those around you like you expect them to do for you......just a thought

 

[VenusinFurs]

Is there an organization for GLBTQ health professionals at your school? I go to school in a very conservative state but the city my school is in has a pretty vibrant and large gay population and we have a pretty good organization for GLBTQ/ ally health professionals. Gay couples certainly can't be legally married in my state but that doesn't mean gay students have to feel lonely or isolated; even if there are no other GLBTQ people in your class, you can make friends with straight people too. I can't imagine any medical school where you wouldn't be able to find at least one or two straight people who not only accept that you are gay but embrace it. Also, if you're saying it would be difficult to find love, it's difficult for straight people to find love in medical school too. Most of the people who are married or engaged in my class have pretty much known their S.O.s since before med school. People who start dating in med school have a lower success rate, esp if they date outside of med school. I think dating someone in your class is dumb in the first two years but that's just me.

 

[pseudosquam]

Man... this post makes me sad. Being gay might actually derail your medical career if you let it: another moral casualty?

Maybe spending time watching "It gets better" ads can pull you through the next few years?

In all seriousness. Why can't you relate to people on a non-sexual basis and make friends with people who are outside your community?

 

[cablackf]

I felt similar right before I was supposed to enter medical school. I let my fears and anxieties about being gay in a hostile environment derail me from my true goal. As a result, I actually put off entering medical school at the time and I now regret nothing more than that single decision. I will enter medical school in 2014. I am older and that fear has grown out of control. But I realized that while relationships are a probable outcome, going to medical school ensures that I have at least one of my dreams. Try to make yourself happy first as relationships may or may not occur. Being in a stable relationship and becoming a doctor are my two childhood dreams and it should be obvious as to which dream is more within my control. Don't let a slight probability derail all your hard work.

 

[i live in ATP]

Maybe you could try being more open minded and acclimate yourself to those around you like you expect them to do for you......just a thought

Man... this post makes me sad. Being gay might actually derail your medical career if you let it: another moral casualty?

Maybe spending time watching "It gets better" ads can pull you through the next few years?

In all seriousness. Why can't you relate to people on a non-sexual basis and make friends with people who are outside your community?

Maybe I was a bit unclear with my concerns. I have no issues whatsoever with making friends with people who aren't gay. In fact, the people here are great and I have a good friend group.

I should clarify that my concern is meeting someone to date. Yes, many people will say, "there's no time for relationships in medical school!" or "did you know that X% of medical school relationships fail?" But looping back to my original post, I place a lot of value on having a relationship and feel like I won't be able to find or develop one here.

It also sounds like, based on many of the response posts, that the workload and ability to find/develop/maintain relationships in medical school grows and grows, which is discouraging for me. These facts, paired with the fact that I would be happy pursuing other careers, is what is making me have reservations about staying in medical school. I'd feel the same way if I were straight and in a sea full of women I'd never want to marry.

Being gay, odds are that the OP will not be in this situation in 10 years (although not entirely impossible)

FYI, this is false. I want the whole shabang. Marriage, kids, the white picket fence, all of it.

 

[Deceptacon]

i bet the ugly girls have it harder than you ever will, poor uggos. and they aren't even on this board crying about it.

 

[i live in ATP]

i bet the ugly girls have it harder than you ever will, poor uggos. and they aren't even on this board crying about it.

I guess I shouldn't expect that all responses to my post will be positive/encouraging/beneficial.

Otherwise, all the advice is helpful, so keep it coming

 

[calvnandhobbs68]

Maybe I was a bit unclear with my concerns. I have no issues whatsoever with making friends with people who aren't gay. In fact, the people here are great and I have a good friend group.

I should clarify that my concern is meeting someone to date. Yes, many people will say, "there's no time for relationships in medical school!" or "did you know that X% of medical school relationships fail?" But looping back to my original post, I place a lot of value on having a relationship and feel like I won't be able to find or develop one here.

It also sounds like, based on many of the response posts, that the workload and ability to find/develop/maintain relationships in medical school grows and grows, which is discouraging for me. These facts, paired with the fact that I would be happy pursuing other careers, is what is making me have reservations about staying in medical school. I'd feel the same way if I were straight and in a sea full of women I'd never want to marry.



FYI, this is false. I want the whole shabang. Marriage, kids, the white picket fence, all of it.

Sounds like you need a suga daddy

 

[kish180]

Maybe I was a bit unclear with my concerns. I have no issues whatsoever with making friends with people who aren't gay. In fact, the people here are great and I have a good friend group.

I should clarify that my concern is meeting someone to date. Yes, many people will say, "there's no time for relationships in medical school!" or "did you know that X% of medical school relationships fail?" But looping back to my original post, I place a lot of value on having a relationship and feel like I won't be able to find or develop one here.

It also sounds like, based on many of the response posts, that the workload and ability to find/develop/maintain relationships in medical school grows and grows, which is discouraging for me. These facts, paired with the fact that I would be happy pursuing other careers, is what is making me have reservations about staying in medical school. I'd feel the same way if I were straight and in a sea full of women I'd never want to marry.

I originally posted regarding the whole work hours vs pay issue - alot of people dont realize that physician salaries are alot more flexible than they imagine, and physicians can work part time, or locum tenens, with appropriate losses to their compensation. But a physician working part time still makes a boat load of money!
Alot of people say "I shouldnt do medicine because im okay with less money if I can work 9-5" Well, you can make alot of money in medicine working 9-5. You can probably make more working 2 12 hour shifts a week in EM than you could in middle management or as an analyst at some finance company.
In any case, for you specifically, theres no way around the issue you mentioned. It sounds like you wont be able to meet anyone while in medical school, which is believable, since its that way for most medical students that are straight, or in a good area, just because of the way med school is structure. To be honest, it seems kind of whiny to leave med school for this reason. Most people just accept they wont meet anyone in med school and its only 4 years.
As for after medical school, with regards to location preference, it all depends on specialty. As U.S. MD, you can get internal medicine, FP, Peds, OBGYN, PMR pretty much anywhere you want (geographically speaking). Maybe you wont get a top academic institution, but a community hospital in any city of your choice is attainable regardless of your Step1 score.

 

[Bayonetwork]

Ugh I just read this whole thread while procrastinating studying for my first exam week on Monday.

Im seriously considering dropping out. The workload is manageable, the material not hard, its a state school and my debt will be almost nothing. I like the curriculum and Im making friends just fine. But I get an OVERWHELMING feeling everyday that Im in the wrong place. Like I forced myself here based on family pressure, stature, ego, etc. and I could see myself doing several other things I would be WAYYY more excited to do everyday 9-5.

Really the only thing I like about med school is the curriculum is interesting.

The whole helping people thing seems far fetched. Sure a surgeon with all his gadgets can repair a vessel or heart etc. but why? So the pt can run back out and eat smoke drink again to their hearts content? And at what cost? People arent gona change. Chronic disease is an epidemic and were only seeing the advent of it. Sometimes I think letting people pay for their actions is better.

My brother and I started a gym before I started and its becoming quite successful. Theres at least 3 other educational avenues I would love to pursue. Instead Im here in this dull ass building til midnight every night. And this is what it will look like for at least 7 more years. Studying and roaming hospital floors holding my chin up because I have to feel like what I do is actually meaningful because Ive invested so much in it.

What the hell am I doing here. All my 20s and half of my thirties wasted for a job thats secure and pays well and supposedly helps people? Hell the pay is hardly even an argument. I could make half the salary starting now and live just as well as doc and actually have a life.

Okay now back to studying...

 

[hiyaman]

Ugh I just read this whole thread while procrastinating studying for my first exam week on Monday.

Im seriously considering dropping out. The workload is manageable, the material not hard, its a state school and my debt will be almost nothing. I like the curriculum and Im making friends just fine. But I get an OVERWHELMING feeling everyday that Im in the wrong place. Like I forced myself here based on family pressure, stature, ego, etc. and I could see myself doing several other things I would be WAYYY more excited to do everyday 9-5.

Really the only thing I like about med school is the curriculum is interesting.

The whole helping people thing seems far fetched. Sure a surgeon with all his gadgets can repair a vessel or heart etc. but why? So the pt can run back out and eat smoke drink again to their hearts content? And at what cost? People arent gona change. Chronic disease is an epidemic and were only seeing the advent of it. Sometimes I think letting people pay for their actions is better.

My brother and I started a gym before I started and its becoming quite successful. Theres at least 3 other educational avenues I would love to pursue. Instead Im here in this dull ass building til midnight every night. And this is what it will look like for at least 7 more years. Studying and roaming hospital floors holding my chin up because I have to feel like what I do is actually meaningful because Ive invested so much in it.

What the hell am I doing here. All my 20s and half of my thirties wasted for a job thats secure and pays well and supposedly helps people? Hell the pay is hardly even an argument. I could make half the salary starting now and live just as well as doc and actually have a life.

Okay now back to studying...

If you're feeling miserable, now is the perfect time to contemplate on whether this is something you want to do. I would think since you've gotten thru the application cycle and the effort that it takes to build a solid app that you do want to be in medicine. I couldn't imagine jumping through all of those hoops for something I didn't want to do.

 

[MalibuPreMD]

Ugh I just read this whole thread while procrastinating studying for my first exam week on Monday.

Im seriously considering dropping out. The workload is manageable, the material not hard, its a state school and my debt will be almost nothing. I like the curriculum and Im making friends just fine. But I get an OVERWHELMING feeling everyday that Im in the wrong place. Like I forced myself here based on family pressure, stature, ego, etc. and I could see myself doing several other things I would be WAYYY more excited to do everyday 9-5.

Really the only thing I like about med school is the curriculum is interesting.

The whole helping people thing seems far fetched. Sure a surgeon with all his gadgets can repair a vessel or heart etc. but why? So the pt can run back out and eat smoke drink again to their hearts content? And at what cost? People arent gona change. Chronic disease is an epidemic and were only seeing the advent of it. Sometimes I think letting people pay for their actions is better.

My brother and I started a gym before I started and its becoming quite successful. Theres at least 3 other educational avenues I would love to pursue. Instead Im here in this dull ass building til midnight every night. And this is what it will look like for at least 7 more years. Studying and roaming hospital floors holding my chin up because I have to feel like what I do is actually meaningful because Ive invested so much in it.

What the hell am I doing here. All my 20s and half of my thirties wasted for a job thats secure and pays well and supposedly helps people? Hell the pay is hardly even an argument. I could make half the salary starting now and live just as well as doc and actually have a life.

Okay now back to studying...

You'd be happier if you studied less. Why don't you allocate a few hours everyday to go the gym and not think about med school? There is absolutely no reason to be studying until midnight unless you are inefficient throughout the day.

 

[Bayonetwork]

If you're feeling miserable, now is the perfect time to contemplate on whether this is something you want to do. I would think since you've gotten thru the application cycle and the effort that it takes to build a solid app that you do want to be in medicine. I couldn't imagine jumping through all of those hoops for something I didn't want to do.

To be honest it was not hard to get in to medical school. The pre-reqs were easy I thought and no I didnt go to an easy undergrad. The MCAT wasnt so bad and I got in on my first try to my state school and honestly wasnt even that enthusiastic at my interview. Looking around I dont have a clue how I got in compared to the rest of the class who is super enthusiastic and seemingly passionate about medicine.

I had a good amount of healthcare experience which if Im honest with myself didnt really enjoy all that much. Worked as an EMT and didnt like it. Worked as home health aide, didnt like it. Worked as personal trainer and loved it but its kind of a dead end job and can I really do that at age 50+.

So IDK Im just realizing Im not at all passionate about this. Seems like most docs Ive talked to either said they wouldnt do it again or have found a way to enjoy it. I hate hospitals, I hate meds. I love interacting with patients and I love science.

You'd be happier if you studied less. Why don't you allocate a few hours everyday to go the gym and not think about med school? There is absolutely no reason to be studying until midnight unless you are inefficient throughout the day.

There is class from like 9 to 5. I take a break to work out and eat then study from like 8 to midnight. Im already WAYYY behind and yes Im terribly inefficient I have no clue how to study in med school. Im treating these first tests as a learning experience and hopefully I wont do too bad so I can recover.

 

[Amnipotem]

If you're feeling miserable, now is the perfect time to contemplate on whether this is something you want to do. I would think since you've gotten thru the application cycle and the effort that it takes to build a solid app that you do want to be in medicine. I couldn't imagine jumping through all of those hoops for something I didn't want to do.

Tbf, there aren't that many prereqs to get into medical school and the MCAT (which has high school level physics on it) is a joke compared to the Step 1, where you actually have to know stuff.

You should think long and hard before taking out massive loans for a future you might hate. And if you love science but hate hospitals, consider getting a PhD and becoming a researcher, working for a pharmaceutical company, etc. Getting a PhD is almost like a 6 year vacation if you enjoy what you are studying, plus you get full tuition and a stipend. Obviously it depends on your field, but PhDs in a hard science (not biology) can easily get paid six figures and none of them have student loans.

 

[TxResident]

It happens when it should happens tbh.

Don't worry about 1, 2, 4, and 5, you're in medical school and its only your first year, you don't know how the rest of it will pan out. My last year in undergrad (just graduated a heads up, so I'm still a premed) was a lot different than how I expected it, I matured a lot emotionally, mentally, and physically.

3 - you're not supposed to worry about debt when you're focused on medicine are you ? Granted its naive to think that way, look into applying for as many scholarships are you can.
6 - well, this, well, wow. You should have thought about this before hand to be fair. You're in it now, but are you in it for the long haul? Should have been something you thought of prior. Sad to say you're doubting now that you're in it, but I'd say stick with it for the rest of the semester to see how it is. Its only been the first 2-4 weeks ?

Edit: I just graduated from my UG, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

 

[hiyaman]

Tbf, there aren't that many prereqs to get into medical school and the MCAT (which has high school level physics on it) is a joke compared to the Step 1, where you actually have to know stuff.

You should think long and hard before taking out massive loans for a future you might hate. And if you love science but hate hospitals, consider getting a PhD and becoming a researcher, working for a pharmaceutical company, etc. Getting a PhD is almost like a 6 year vacation if you enjoy what you are studying, plus you get full tuition and a stipend. Obviously it depends on your field, but PhDs in a hard science (not biology) can easily get paid six figures and none of them have student loans.

Well I thought it was pretty difficult, (i'm from california so my state schools aren't exactly safeties). But I forget that there's a ton of really smart people (as I have experienced through my med class lol). It's just when you think of gaining entrance into med school, it's suppose to be the hardest of all of the professional/graduate schools to get into. That's why I posted that comment lol

 

[Amnipotem]

Well I thought it was pretty difficult, (i'm from california so my state schools aren't exactly safeties). But I forget that there's a ton of really smart people (as I have experienced through my med class lol). It's just when you think of gaining entrance into med school, it's suppose to be the hardest of all of the professional/graduate schools to get into. That's why I posted that comment lol

Yeah, it's harder getting into a low ranked med school over a low ranked program in another field, but in other fields rankings matter a lot more. It's more difficult getting into a good PhD program than an unranked med school. You need good grades at a good undergrad and research with top profs during undergrad. To gain admission to a good PhD program, you need to have been on top of it for all of undergrad. On the other hand, you can get a postbac and do all the premed requirements and apply for med school in as little as 2 years. California is unique in that the instate med schools are still competitive to get into; most states' med schools have a much higher acceptance rate for instate applicants.

 

[billybob746]

this, i am going to disagree with on a monumental scale. to get into a phd program you definitively do NOT need to have been the top of anything..

 

[Morsetlis]

I'm looking into some of these things, but I'm afraid the school has a much brighter/happier view of how things are here.

4 years (maybe more, since people tend to match in the area) seems like such a long time to dedicate myself to being/feeling alone. Is that just a sacrifice that you (and other people) are kind of accepting?

After a year of no sex I just kinda gave up.

 

[i live in ATP]

thank you for your advice everyone.

i'm currently taking things day by day with the understanding that there could be big changes (in one direction or another) in the coming months.

 

[verklempt]

Lesbian MS4 here, writing from a minimally-gay city.

I recall worrying about whether medicine would be socially isolating, particularly during the first semester of med school. I thought about changing career paths, since I'd considered going to law school during college.

However, I'm happy to report that I gave medical school more time. Over the last few years, I've developed a genuine excitement about what medicine will enable me to do with my life.

Being the only gay student in your class can be difficult. But by confronting that difficulty, you'll gain unique perspective and compassion for your LGBT patients, who are similarly isolated within the US healthcare system. It's a privilege.

I guess this is my bootleg version of "it gets better" in med school. Despite all the growing pains during first year, I'm truly grateful I stuck it out.

happy to answer more specific questions by PM. Best of luck, wherever life takes you.

 

[xzoticskillz]

To be honest it was not hard to get in to medical school. The pre-reqs were easy I thought and no I didnt go to an easy undergrad. The MCAT wasnt so bad and I got in on my first try to my state school and honestly wasnt even that enthusiastic at my interview. Looking around I dont have a clue how I got in compared to the rest of the class who is super enthusiastic and seemingly passionate about medicine.

I had a good amount of healthcare experience which if Im honest with myself didnt really enjoy all that much. Worked as an EMT and didnt like it. Worked as home health aide, didnt like it. Worked as personal trainer and loved it but its kind of a dead end job and can I really do that at age 50+.

So IDK Im just realizing Im not at all passionate about this. Seems like most docs Ive talked to either said they wouldnt do it again or have found a way to enjoy it. I hate hospitals, I hate meds. I love interacting with patients and I love science.



There is class from like 9 to 5. I take a break to work out and eat then study from like 8 to midnight. Im already WAYYY behind and yes Im terribly inefficient I have no clue how to study in med school. Im treating these first tests as a learning experience and hopefully I wont do too bad so I can recover.

I appreciate your blunt honesty. I too share some of the same sentiments at this point (only 8 weeks into school). I forewent another career path (one I found myself way more passionate and excited about) for medicine because of indicative measures of how much more successful I would be in medicine vs the latter. Basing it mainly on practical and logistic factors, I wonder if I made the right decision.....constantly been told by doctors to get out now and wondered whether it was prudent to listen to them or to keep trekking on because I put in so much effort to get here. I am making decent and above average grades at this point, but holy crap my social life has taken a deep backseat, makes me wonder if the sacrifices are worth it. My biggest regret would be to wish I had chose something different 20 years from now. However, I rather choose a profession that allows me to be great at something in life rather than to choose another and just get by (I could honestly see myself being great in both of my options).

Interested in hearing how everything plays out for you. Keep us posted!

 

[DNAdude120]

Lesbian MS4 here, writing from a minimally-gay city.

I recall worrying about whether medicine would be socially isolating, particularly during the first semester of med school. I thought about changing career paths, since I'd considered going to law school during college.

However, I'm happy to report that I gave medical school more time. Over the last few years, I've developed a genuine excitement about what medicine will enable me to do with my life.

Being the only gay student in your class can be difficult. But by confronting that difficulty, you'll gain unique perspective and compassion for your LGBT patients, who are similarly isolated within the US healthcare system. It's a privilege.

I guess this is my bootleg version of "it gets better" in med school. Despite all the growing pains during first year, I'm truly grateful I stuck it out.

happy to answer more specific questions by PM. Best of luck, wherever life takes you.

Just wanted to say I really enjoyed this post. Thanks!

 

[verklempt]

Just wanted to say I really enjoyed this post. Thanks!

you're quite welcome. i don't post often, but this question struck a chord with me.

 

[auguy13]

Funny I am in the exact same situation. I am gay, lonely, and having second thoughts about my commitment to medicine. However, I have not started yet. I will be returning to my hometown for medical school and feel like I will have a slim chance of finding someone (I know the scene). I am in a college town now and could have tried harder to meet guys had I had not been so focused on school 24/7. I don't know if I wanna be that guy (lonely) for the next 4-12 years. All I can think about now is that I wish I would have applied to vet school and gone into the family business. It was my original plan but I swapped over to human medicine last year for reasons that I am now questioning. Honestly it never felt "right" but it was intriguing and challenging so I went for it. Had I applied to both I would probably opt for vet school at this stage of my life, but I only applied for medical school (we all know it's pretty time consuming on top of a hard science major). I would have stayed in town with my friends who are all pre-vet in a much better environment to find someone (even though vet school is just as difficult). I feel like I would of been happier doing that, but now am stuck with the decision to go to med school or not (and apply vet and be a year behind my friends). Just wondering what you decided or if you had any advice for a fellow gay med school doubter.

 

[tantacles]

(Just FYI, I know this post is old and has just been bumped, if not necrobumped. However, I hope this message is useful to anyone gay in a horrible place.)

I'm gay, and I'm one of the leaders of our LGBTQ medical student group. I grew up in MIchigan-- where they banned gay marriage back in 2004. That's old news. Now, I live in New York, which is more gay friendly, but honestly, I'm too busy in clinic or in the OR to go out to gay clubs or whatnot anyway-- if I went to medical school in Nebr-Alaba-Homa I'd still be bogged down with med school BS anyway.

Also, if you feel isolated there are many online resources for LGBT physicians. The American Medical Student Association (AMSA) has a gender and sexuality committee, which focuses on bringing together medical students from around the country to focus on LGBTQ health issues (http://www.amsa.org/AMSA/Homepage/About/Committees/GenderandSexuality.aspx). You may also find support with gay and lesbian physician organization. My favorites are Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA), which holds an annual conference [http://www.glma.org/] and the Association for Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists (AGLP)-- I'm going into psychiatry, so I'm clearly partial. [http://www.aglp.org/]

Furthermore, this country NEEDS gay physicians. Even in New York, medicine is a conservative field, and we need gay doctors like YOU to help make medicine more conducive to LGBTQ patients. One important skill of being a doctor is selflessness, right? If you decide to go through with this, you should seriously consider making the commitment to improving the lives for ALL patients-- including the gay ones. For three years in a row I give my classmates a lecture on transgender health issues because our school says NOTHING about it in the curriculum. I guess the point of this paragraph is: don't expect your school to make things easy for you because you're gay. It's tough everywhere, but it's up to us to make it better for the future generation of gay physicians.


You can always PM me if you have any questions about being gay in medical school. I'm taking a year off now after third year, so I have more spare time.

As another gay medical student who started this year, I have to mirror this sentiment. We truly need more gay physicians, if for the sole purpose (though I can think of many more) of making more gay patients feel comfortable expressing their concerns about their sexuality, bullying, STI risks, and the other myriad medical (psychiatric and otherwise) issues that arise from living in a society that can often be stiflingly oppressive.

I was lucky enough to find another M1 at my school to date, but I understand that it's not always easy to find someone, and I too value relationships above most other things. However, there is hope: If you do well on step I (and even if you don't, depending on what specialty you choose), you'll be able to make a comfortable living in a city that isn't oppressive and has dating opportunities.

Even if you were to quit medical school, that's no guarantee that you'll find someone. It might ultimately make your lot worse. If you haven't already, don't make a rash decision. The city I live in for medical school isn't friendly to LGBT people either, so I'm in a unique (all right, not unique, since many other people are also in this situation) position to understand what you're going through, even if I can't comprehend it entirely.

I beg of you, though: Please look at the big picture and think about what you'll regret more: Not having a relationship during medical school or not finishing medical school.

 

[cablackf]

thank you for your advice everyone.

i'm currently taking things day by day with the understanding that there could be big changes (in one direction or another) in the coming months.

Did you decide to leave school. I know it is almost a year later, but I wanted to hear your experience and if your troubles were resolved. As a gay hopeful MD/DO your experience and story are both valuable and concerning. I hope things have turned out in a good way.

 

[Kahreek]

Well, my major concern is that I am gay and an area that is not particularly gay friendly and does not have many gay people. I feel like I'm relegating myself to a minimum of 4 years of solitude/isolation, which is definitely concerning.

I definitely thought about that issue before coming, but told myself I needed to at least try before I judged. Lo and behold, I'm not particularly fond of what I've found...

plenty of people are straight and dont get any sex during school.
Though up.
Have you seen the fine sketches of Little Britain TV show about the the only gay in town.
Medicine will probably the best thing you will do in your lifetime, dont waste it.

 

[Kahreek]

I'm looking into some of these things, but I'm afraid the school has a much brighter/happier view of how things are here.

4 years (maybe more, since people tend to match in the area) seems like such a long time to dedicate myself to being/feeling alone. Is that just a sacrifice that you (and other people) are kind of accepting?

I sadly have to answer yes. You have to devote yourself to some degree.
But look:
I talk and interact with much more people now than before (and i am not talking about patients), it is more difficult to stablish a deeper friendships, though.

 

[Anastomoses]

I find it very difficult to be sympathetic to the OP. You either want to be a doctor or you don't. So you're not gonna have a chance to fall in love during med school...big deal? Most straight students if not already married are not gonna get to fall in love during med school either. If you wanna focus on dating, fine...don't go to med school.

There are plenty of people who would die to get in your place to pursue a career they'd love. Go do what's important to you. Simple.

 

[Kaustikos]

I can't believe no one stated the obvious - defer. Get through the first semester and explain what happened. You have every right/reason to defer given your circumstances. Deferring keeps your spot for next year. If you decide against it, then you can quit.

If someone else said that - then that's what you should do. And this guys to anyone thinking about dropping out. It's worse to drop out and realize you were an idiot than to defer and realize you were right/wrong. I've had several friends do it and they said it helped out a lot. It made them come to the conclusion that they did/didn't want this.


DEFER

 

[i live in ATP]

Necrobump alert.

I wanted to let everyone know that, years later, I am in the process of finishing medical school! Were things bumpy along the way? Sure. Has the experience been perfect, given all I posted about before? No. But the fact remains that I'm happy, and I'm gonna make it. Woot!

I have no regrets and am actually happy that I had/worked through my doubts early on. I can honestly say that had I tipped the other direction and left, I think I'd feel just the same. The grass is always greener, I suppose.

Thanks to everyone who responded or PMed me with encouragement and kind words. You may never know exactly how much help you were, but I hope you may someday come across these words and maybe it'll make you smile

To anyone reading this who may be in doubt: it's ok, and you're not alone. whether mine is a success story or not is in the eyes of the beholder, but now you know that it's possible to pull through if you have similar concerns (N=1)

I'm here to help if anyone would like it. Feel free to PM!

 

[chipwhitley]

Happy to hear it - It's always great when people come back and post that things ended up going well.

 

[Psai]

Always nice to have followup. What kind of doc are you gonna be

 

[hayden29]

First year is the hardest (so I've been told), so stick it out and see how you feel. Whatever you decision you make, take your time and think about it. Good luck!

 

[mcloaf]

First year is the hardest (so I've been told)

I would emphatically disagree.