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Considering withdrawing DO acceptance far from home for close by post bacc.

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - DO' started by famguy225, Apr 30, 2018.

  1. famguy225

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    Hey SDN,

    Long time lurker. So basically, I'm a non trad, having finished my pre reqs post school in a DIY post bacc. I have a low sGPA (3.3) but high MCAT (515) and solid ECs. I applied to a number of DO programs and got into 2 and waitlisted at a program very close to home.

    As its become more apparent that Im going to go to the closer of my two acceptances, about a 4 hour plane ride from my home and family, I'm sort of freaking out about the distance. I just can't see myself being successful so far from them. My parents are old and I have young family members nearby who mean the world to me. I've had anxiety/depression and honestly am feeling now that idk if I can succeed without my support network. Even if they were an 8 hour drive away I think I could stomach it. But a plane ride? I can't see it now and frankly I'm pretty upset about my prospects.

    The DO school I'm planning on attending now has great board scores and a good match list. I think I could maybe match near home when all is said and done (aiming for PC). I did like the school and the location was okay, though not what I'm used to. The distance is just killing me right now.

    As a result of all this nonsense I'm seriously considering doing an SMP with linkage or even just a general app enhancer and applying again to my local DO and MD schools. This is not a DO vs. MD rant at all. If I end up off the waitlist at my local DO or matriculate there next year I'd be thrilled. I'm really struggling thinking of leaving, and I don't think I'll be able to do it when push comes to shove honestly.

    Looking for some honest opinions about my situation. I get it, if I wasn't sure I'd go somewhere I shouldn't have applied. But truth be told I really thought I was fine to go anywhere. Things have changed in the past year since my app and now I just can't see myself leaving.
     
  2. MyGrainAura

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    If medicine is truly what you want to do then dropping the acceptance would be about the dumbest decision you could possibly make.

    You don’t think you can survive without your family nearby? What do you suppose happens when you go on rotations or are forced to pursue a residency far from home? The nature of medicine is that it makes you a vagrant soul for some period of time.

    Financially an SMP is a huge cost sink and there’s no guarantee you’ll get into med school again regardless of how good you think you look on paper. This sounds like a commitment issue.


    Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
     
  3. famguy225

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  4. sb247

    sb247 Doer of things
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    You need to frame this choice accurately. It seems like you feel you are choosing between live close and live far.....that’s not the case

    You are choosing between.....

    A) 100% odds of starting a DO school in august which means three years from now you have a 90-95% of graduating and nearly that high odds of matching to FM closer to your family than your school with an almost 100% literal odds of pulling an FM job in the town your parents are at after

    And choice B) probably a 90+ percent chance of starting a local smp in august (lose a year and 200k lifetime salary) followed by

    B.1) near zero chance of any DO schools, you turned them down once
    B.2)maybe 50% odds of any MD acceptance at all. Your mcat was good but your gpa was subpar. If you at all struggle with smp coursework....you don’t get to be a doctor
    B.2.a) IF you get into an MD, <20% odds it’s even closer than the DO school you gave up the year before



    You aren’t choosing between being a doctor closer or farther from family. You are choosing between almost guaranteed being a doctor and most likely never a doctor. Only you can weigh the mental health risks there but that’s your reality from my perspective

    Choose well
     
  5. famguy225

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    Would I be black listed from all DO? Even the program I'm close to at home I'm currently waitlisted at? A lot of local SMPs have linkage with them, so that's clearly a big factor for me right now.
     
  6. Lexdiamondz

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    Generally once you've been accepted into a DO programme, if you turn it down it's really hard to re-apply, regardless of what SMP you do.

    Seriously, you're an adult. We shouldn't have to tell you don't be stupid.
     
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  7. famguy225

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    I'm unsure why the DO program I'm currently waitlisted at would black list me if I reapplied through AACOMAS and did an smp they have linkage with for next year.. there whole thing is regional bias. I'm not shunning the DO path I'm just trying to pick an option that will maximize my success and frankly I'm not sure this med school on the other side of the US is that for me right now. I appreciate the replies though. It is making me feel a bit better about getting out there.
     
  8. Chibucks15

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    Each and every time you reapply, you will have to mark that you had an acceptance prior to the cycle. It can and will be a huge red flag. You will be asked about it and unfortunately "my family" isn't looked at as a valid excuse to give up a seat, as people move away from theirs all the time to go to school. Its terrible and I'm not saying I agree but medicine is a cut-throat world that everyone has insane competitive to even get a chance to get into so to turn down a seat could very well be the end of your medical career. Not saying it 100% will be, but its a much larger risk that would be absolutely stupid to take if I'm being completely honest
     
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  9. asdf333

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    When you reapply, do you think this story is going to go over well when they ask you

    "why did you decline an acceptance last year?"

    Take the acceptance.

    There are thousands of kids going to out of state schools and moving across the nation to attend medical school. Even got few coming from different countries. If they can handle the distance, you can too.

    (p.s. I would call the school you're waitlisted at, that is close to home and let them know youre interested. Like ask them questions, keep in touch and just make sure they remember who you are)
     
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  10. famguy225

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    Appreciate the responses guys. I am applying to a few local SMPs with linkage but if they don't work out (and even if they do) I'm coming to grips with not being able to stay here for four years. Thanks.
     
  11. Osminog

    Osminog Future Doctopus

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    Would your family members want you to sacrifice your future career in medicine just so that you can be physically closer to them?

    Do you realize that if you decline your acceptances and never fulfill your dream of becoming a doctor, you will unconsciously harbor some resentment toward your family members for the rest of your life?

    Have you heard about the thousands of people who travel to godforsaken, crime-ridden hellholes in the Caribbean in order to have the chance that you've been given?

    As my old pal Slim Shady once said,
    "Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
    To seize everything you ever wanted
    One moment
    Would you capture it or just let it slip?"
     
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  12. Kr#36

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    Dude....take the acceptance. Seriously, take it. Applying to SMP’s after turning down an acceptance means you get to pay to apply, pay to attend, and then never get to be a doctor.

    Schools will not see this as a valid reason to turn down an acceptance, and you’ll have close to a 0% shot next cycle. They’ll see some immaturity in you not wanting being willing to be temporarily apart from family, they’ll see poor decision making, and they’ll see a lack of forsight based on you applying to a school you don’t want to attend. In addition, they’ll fear you’ll pull the same stunt when you’re forced to do residency even further away.
     
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  13. tinyllamas

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    As everyone else has said, take the acceptance and run with it. You get the chance to pursue your dream job!

    I would try to shift your focus to setting up a plan for success at your new school. If you can start to develop a support network in your new location you might feel better about all the changes coming up. Can you look at the curriculum and designate certain weekends as home weekends? You can look into getting a credit card that gives you airline miles and start using it for your moving/new school costs to make trips home more affordable. Maybe you can set up some dates when your family can visit you so you have something to look forward to (cc miles come into play here too). Also check to see if you have extended family living nearer your new school- they could be a great support resource! Keep in mind that even if you went to school close to your family, you would probably not have a ton of time to see them. You may find that you actually get better quality time with your family than you would if you didn't have to set aside time for trips home. An upcoming weekend at home is a great motivator to get **** done efficiently. Also, scheduled facetime dates with little siblings or cousins are amazing stress relievers!

    At the end of the day, though, you have to protect your own safety. If you need to stay home, stay home. If you had a major family or personal event recently and need some time to cope, maybe look into a deferment rather than turning down the acceptance altogether.
     
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  14. famguy225

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    Thanks for taking the time. I am relatively fresh off of a family emergency and thats probably tainting my judgement. I just feel strongly right now that I wouldn't be able to perform well at that distance. But we'll see how it sinks in over the next few weeks. Thanks again for the suggestions.
     
  15. Goro

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    Absolutely drop the accept. I want to see your seat go to someone who truly wants to be a doctor.

    Actually, if you can't get your mental health issues under control, then I can't recommend you matriculating anywhere. Medical school is a furnace, and I've seen it break even healthy students. The #1 reason my school loses students to withdrawal, dismissal or LOA is to unresolved mental health issues.
     
  16. famguy225

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    Well I appreciate the responses. I am committed to medicine, I'm just concerned that the confounding factors of med school curriculum plus being really far from home will make it tough for me to do well.

    I did apply to two nearby post bacs that wouldnt require me to move. Both are through very solid MD programs, and have linkage if you maintain a certain GPA. I have an interview at one in a week or so. I get it, its risky because maybe I'll fall short of that number. But is it really crazy to put off school for a year, pay for these post bacs (which aren't astronomical) in order to go to a better program thats close by, where I feel more comfortable to succeed? Probably should also state I was not a science major so these post bac courses could help shore some of that up before I med school. Thanks for the replies.
     
  17. Goro

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    I understand homesickness, I had to move 1500 miles to go to graduate school.

    But, and this is a big but, if you are going to be too homesick to succeed in medical school, you are not mature enough to go to medical school.
     
    #17 Goro, May 1, 2018
    Last edited: May 1, 2018
  18. AnatomyGrey12

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    At some point you will have to move away. What will you do when you slide down your match list and match a residency program far away?

    This decision isn't about close or far, you quite literally are making the decision if you want to be a doctor or not. Your responses to good advice should be telling to you that you actually aren't as committed to medicine as you think. I agree with Goro, if you think homesickness will prevent you from doing well in medical school then you aren't mature enough for medical school.
     
  19. jcve34

    jcve34 Hic Sunt Leones
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    Had a classmate who’s parent passed away during Neuro (a brutal course in and of itself). Person went to the funeral, grieved, came back and took our exams.

    Medical school will break you. It will only be matter of time. I would say commit to your acceptance or admit to yourself that this isn’t for you. If you can’t youll be washed out. Not a matter of “if” but “when”.
     
  20. nwmedapplicant

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    famguy225 - Everyone here has given you solid advice. I understand it may not be what you want to hear with regards to missing family. I mean no offense at all and hope you take my chiming in as just another voice of experience: Your GPA suggests that doing well on exams doesn't come easy. It suggests that you, like myself as well, have to work hard for extended hours to fully grasp and master a concept or system. This suggests to me that you probably will need to study most of the day and evening in medical school to do well - like I had to. Please understand what that means - whether you are living 1500 miles away, or in the same home as your family, it really doesn't matter because the reality is that to succeed in medical school you will feel 'distanced' from your family just due to the uninterrupted extended study time it will require. I could be wrong, there were folks in medical school that studied throughout the day and watched TV in the evenings and got 9 hours of sleep and still did ok - you maybe one of them. However please really think this commitment over before signing off on those loans. Once you start - you are committed to work tirelessly to succeed or fail and have the weight of enormous debt that can't be legally excused. This is one of the biggest decisions of your life and the odds are, as others have suggested, that this is likely your one shot at matriculation into medical school. Dont make this decision yourself - involve your family. Good luck.
     
  21. fldoctorgirl

    fldoctorgirl MS1 transplanted from the beach to the midwest

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    This is probably the most important piece of advice in this thread. If your plan is to stay close to home so you can spend a lot of time with your family, realize that that probably won't work if you want to be successful in your courses. I turned down a med school 15 minutes from home for one 1,000 miles away because of this (other reasons too, but this was important). If you're going to be a doctor, it's time to act like an adult. Learn to be without your family. It'll suck at first, but it's life.
     
  22. GTown

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    My advice, like everyone else, is to take the acceptance. One bird in the hand is worth two in the bush and all that.

    That said, if you have a legitimate family situation that you feel will prevent you from performing well - consider deferment for a year. Take care of your family stuff, figure out a support network at the school and then move next year with a fresh/strong mind.

    But don't forego a sure thing for a maybe thing.
     
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  23. famguy225

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    My sGPA was low because I wasn't focused on pre med as an undergrad. I aced a DIY post bacc which got me here. I'm a non science major so I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be blacklisted from DO schools for doing this. I do want to stay close to home, but I also don't think it would hurt for me to solidify my science background prior to first year. I mean honestly I really only got in because I happened to do well on the MCAT.

    That being said, I see each of your points of view. I am going to attend this interview and feel out the program though. Thanks again.
     
  24. keepItReal17

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    Best of luck. However, I advise you to really think this through.. You have 10+ people in the field ALL giving you the same advice -- this should tell you something. Believe me when I say, there is a good chance you will be "blacklisted" next cycle. Once you apply and have an acceptance that you end up turning down will only tell schools that you're not serious about becoming a physician. You're playing with fire and I hope you don't get burned. My advice is to take the acceptance and run. Good luck.
     
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  25. famguy225

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    Why would I be blacklisted next cycle.. I have read on other forums people stating that if you have a good reason (like wanting a more solid science background as a non science major) that you can be accepted in a later cycle.
     
  26. Kr#36

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    There are very few acceptable reasons for forfeiting an acceptance. Homesickness is not one of them. If you did well on the MCAT, then not one school is buying the “wanting more science background” stuff. If you’ve met the pre-req requirements then you’re fine.
     
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  27. FutureGeorgiaDoc

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    I would be delighted to have your acceptance as well as move 2000 miles away from home in order to become a physician.
     
  28. I'mJustCurious

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    Decline the acceptance so somebody else can get it
     
  29. DrMcLovin

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    I wish you luck with whatever you decide, but I want to warn you about doing a med school post bach as a non-science major.

    A post bach with linkage is not a place for a non-science major with an acceptance to get science exposure. Many of your peers will have strong science backgrounds with a desire to do whatever it takes to gain an acceptance. You will also be graded against these people.

    In medical school, some people with science backgrounds & non-science backgrounds will crumble under the shear volume of material. If it doesn’t break you, there’s a good chance you’ll have a 2.0 - 3.0 GPA like half of your class will.

    So, what happens if you find yourself with a 2.5 GPA during the first year of medical school? Congratulations, you will still be a doctor.

    What happens if you find yourself with a 2.5 GPA while taking med school classes in a linkage program? Tough luck, time to find a new career.
     
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  30. SergeantBuzzKill

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    Like many have said before, take the acceptance. No one has ever been made strong by staying in their comfort zone. The people telling you to take your acceptance and run are trying to help you, not hurt you. However, the fact that you are still going to try for the SMP, despite the many replies about taking the acceptance, suggests you have already made up your mind and came to this forum to validate your decision. Take a moment to really think about what you want and weigh the cons of what you are planning to do. Is it impossible for you to get an acceptance after you decline this cycle? No, but there is no reason you need to make it more difficult for yourself when admission is hard enough as it is. Good luck
     
  31. famguy225

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    Honestly these replies have affected the way I feel about leaving home, I genuinely do appreciate them.

    I guess I'm mainly concerned that I won't match back home.. The school I'm waitlisted at sends pretty much all its grads in state, and the SMPs MD program does the same (and has linkage to the DO school Im WL at).
     
  32. AnatomyGrey12

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    This can happen from anywhere.... it’s a significant risk by attending ANY medical school that you won’t match where you want to.
     
  33. Mad Jack

    Mad Jack Critically Caring
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    You'll only be blacklisted by the ones you were accepted at but did not attend
     
  34. Mad Jack

    Mad Jack Critically Caring
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    This is something I wish I'd considered more heavily before entering training. Figured it'd be four years away from home, but now that's become eight to ten. Brutal is the nature of the process and I frequently hate myself for signing up for this ride.
     
  35. famguy225

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    I hear you, clearly the familial impact of this path is just starting to hit me. But the DO/MD programs linked to this SMP do send most of their grads to hospitals in my home region, vs the DO school I have acceptance at, which sends very few.
     
  36. frosted2

    frosted2 C/O 2023 hopeful!
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    My classic response... I'll take your acceptance and you go complete the post-bacc.
     
  37. Chibucks15

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    The issue isn't if you'll make it. You very well may not ever get a chance to get into medical school again. Like people have said, you have to disclose prior acceptances and "family" isn't a valid excuse. This is the same whether its a linkage program or a regular program. They'll happily take your money and reject you from the school for that exact reason. Everyone leaves their families in order to pursue this. Whether its during school, rotations, or residency. That's part of the path. You don't get to choose if you want to do this life.

    I'm a huge proponent of family over medicine but at this point you are being stubborn and not listening to overwhelming advice to take the acceptance. You will not get another chance and seem to be inching closer to making a decision that will prevent you from ever becoming a doctor at all. So please for the love of God don't make the worst decision of your life. If you really want this you have to go for it now, there is no more being choosy. Give the seat to someone who is 100% in. If you weren't wanting to move you shouldn't have applied there in the first place
     
  38. frosted2

    frosted2 C/O 2023 hopeful!
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    Have you thought of taking your parents with you if you absolutely cannot be without them?
     
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  39. GTown

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    This!!!
     
  40. de Ribas

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    Looks like your reason is a bit different than that.

    Homesickness reason to reapply is actually a good reason to reject an applicant.
     
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  41. YaraDelMar

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    In your support, I turned down interviews from far away schools in order to attend a post bacc in a close by school. Otherwise I'd have to be away from my 6 year old son, since his dad wouldn't let me take him with me.
     
  42. fldoctorgirl

    fldoctorgirl MS1 transplanted from the beach to the midwest

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    I think this is kind of a different situation, though. You're talking about your child. OP is talking about their older parents-- I love my parents more than most people and get wanting to be close to them, but it's different.
     
  43. Magus5454

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    Like was mentioned, child and parents different. Also turning down interviews is different than turning down an acceptance
     
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  44. MyGrainAura

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    Especially since adult children and non-adult children are a totally different scenario. At some point you have to cut the cord.


    Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
     
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  45. docmcstuffins3

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    I get where you are coming from. Me and my family are really close, my sisters are like my best friends. I am currently away finishing my SMP and I miss them so much it makes me sad. I got accepted to a DO school basically in the same city as my family but my only MD acceptance is 9 hours away (which might as well be across the country because I wont have time for a drive like that). I'm having a really hard time because I am interested in surgical subspecialties so my best chance would be to stick with the MD school. The main thing you have to remember though is we have chosen a kind of selfless career. Your calling to medicine and serving others is important too and it doesn't mean you are choosing medicine over them. Your family is always rooting for you and wants you to achieve your dreams no matter how far you are. Push through and make yourself and them proud!
     
  46. cookiegrub

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    As much as I'd like to agree with my esteemed collegues, if you are not happy with your acceptance I am 100 percent supporting you to do the post baccl. Your mcat is very high enough that if you were to do well in the masters you can convince others of your intelligence . Many ppl tunnel vision that getting into medical school is the deal. No no it is not. Being able to complete it is.....
     
  47. Chibucks15

    2+ Year Member

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    I'm sorry you don't know what you're talking about honestly...it isn't that he/she needs to convince people of intelligence....they already have an acceptance. Like I've said 3 times...he/she will have to explain why they didn't take the acceptance and the reasons that he/she gave are not adequate. Even if they do well in the SMP with linkage, it shows a degree of immaturity and indecisiveness. There are so many people applying for every medical school seat so why should a school take a risk on someone who has shown that they may not go through with the training unless its perfect for them?

    Basically it comes down to this...medical school and residency are grinds. You will sometimes not have a say in where you go for rotations, residency, or even an attending job. Its part of the deal. There are so many people vying for each spot and OP will get blackballed most likely. Schools will take the money and deny for other reasons but itll happen. That's what it is. People move away from their family all the time for this training to be in the most respected profession in the world. It would be incredibly risky to give up this seat for these reasons. Period.
     
    keepItReal17, GBCrzzyy, GTown and 2 others like this.
  48. Knight in shining armor

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    I’d go to the DO school far away. I am a current DO student. I am a 15-16 hour drive from home and actually live closer than many of my friends. The distance does suck but with FaceTime and Skype (and Christmas break) you should be okay. Don’t let distance stop your dreams.
     
    Goro likes this.
  49. GBCrzzyy

    GBCrzzyy The moon is just the back of the sun.
    2+ Year Member

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    You're missing the point of what will get you blacklisted. You will not be blacklisted because you wanted a stronger science background before attending. You will be blacklisted for turning down the acceptance.

    As others have said, because of your high MCAT, you have already proved that you don't need a stronger science background before starting medical school. AKA - this is just an excuse. Excuses don't fly in medical school.

    You have already completed a DIY post-bacc that schools liked enough to accept you - an SMP is overkill and again - it's just an excuse.

    If you are so unwilling to live away from family for medical school, you should not have even applied to schools far away from home. That was your biggest mistake in my opinion. I drove 24 hours by myself to move. My roommate lives 12+ hours away from her working husband to be here. I had two of my family members die in a fire last month and I am still here trucking along and getting good grades and I wouldn't have it any other way.

    You need to put in perspective what this means. You should only apply to medical school when you are 200% ready to make the commitment and make the move. You have shot yourself in the foot by applying before you were ready and to a school you didn't want to attend. When you reapply, schools that already accepted you once, will wonder why you didn't take their acceptance in order to apply again and reluctance to move away from home isn't going to cut it - it's just an excuse. They won't want to waist a seat by offering it to someone they aren't sure can commit to their school. Schools that didn't accept you will see that you were offered an acceptance but that you turned it down in favor of applying again - they will wonder if you could commit to their school if you couldn't even commit to an acceptance from another school. If you can't bring yourself to move for school, what will happen if they match a residency far away from home? Will this person forego matching and try again the following year? This is not a desirable quality in an applicant to medical school. Why should they take the chance on you when there are so many other applicants with similar or better scores that are willing to commit?

    No one is going to hold your hand through this and at this point, there are no do-overs. You must choose between taking your acceptance or being blacklisted with the likelihood of never getting another acceptance. After this, your best shot will be a Caribbean school where you will be in farther away from home and in far more debt, among other things. Rejecting an acceptance is what will get you blacklisted, your grades and exam scores will not prevent that.

    Your best chance is to convince them to let you defer a year and take the acceptance the following year, but if you reject the acceptance in favor of an SMP? It's basically a done deal, look into other career options.
     
    Goro, Lexdiamondz and GTown like this.
  50. Cardboard101

    Cardboard101 Wait, I got in?
    2+ Year Member

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    Not sure if this has been posted, but have you tried calling the nearer DO school that you're waitlisted at?
    Explain the situation, tell them you've been accepted at two other schools and maybe reconsider.

    I doubt it'll change anything, but worth a shot, no?
     
    Balo, BurntFlower and docmcstuffins3 like this.

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