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- Thread starter famguy225
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If medicine is truly what you want to do then dropping the acceptance would be about the dumbest decision you could possibly make.
You don’t think you can survive without your family nearby? What do you suppose happens when you go on rotations or are forced to pursue a residency far from home? The nature of medicine is that it makes you a vagrant soul for some period of time.
Financially an SMP is a huge cost sink and there’s no guarantee you’ll get into med school again regardless of how good you think you look on paper. This sounds like a commitment issue.
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deleted480308
You need to frame this choice accurately. It seems like you feel you are choosing between live close and live far.....that’s not the case
You are choosing between.....
A) 100% odds of starting a DO school in august which means three years from now you have a 90-95% of graduating and nearly that high odds of matching to FM closer to your family than your school with an almost 100% literal odds of pulling an FM job in the town your parents are at after
And choice B) probably a 90+ percent chance of starting a local smp in august (lose a year and 200k lifetime salary) followed by
B.1) near zero chance of any DO schools, you turned them down once
B.2)maybe 50% odds of any MD acceptance at all. Your mcat was good but your gpa was subpar. If you at all struggle with smp coursework....you don’t get to be a doctor
B.2.a) IF you get into an MD, <20% odds it’s even closer than the DO school you gave up the year before
You aren’t choosing between being a doctor closer or farther from family. You are choosing between almost guaranteed being a doctor and most likely never a doctor. Only you can weigh the mental health risks there but that’s your reality from my perspective
Choose well
You are choosing between.....
A) 100% odds of starting a DO school in august which means three years from now you have a 90-95% of graduating and nearly that high odds of matching to FM closer to your family than your school with an almost 100% literal odds of pulling an FM job in the town your parents are at after
And choice B) probably a 90+ percent chance of starting a local smp in august (lose a year and 200k lifetime salary) followed by
B.1) near zero chance of any DO schools, you turned them down once
B.2)maybe 50% odds of any MD acceptance at all. Your mcat was good but your gpa was subpar. If you at all struggle with smp coursework....you don’t get to be a doctor
B.2.a) IF you get into an MD, <20% odds it’s even closer than the DO school you gave up the year before
You aren’t choosing between being a doctor closer or farther from family. You are choosing between almost guaranteed being a doctor and most likely never a doctor. Only you can weigh the mental health risks there but that’s your reality from my perspective
Choose well
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Generally once you've been accepted into a DO programme, if you turn it down it's really hard to re-apply, regardless of what SMP you do.
Seriously, you're an adult. We shouldn't have to tell you don't be stupid.
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Each and every time you reapply, you will have to mark that you had an acceptance prior to the cycle. It can and will be a huge red flag. You will be asked about it and unfortunately "my family" isn't looked at as a valid excuse to give up a seat, as people move away from theirs all the time to go to school. Its terrible and I'm not saying I agree but medicine is a cut-throat world that everyone has insane competitive to even get a chance to get into so to turn down a seat could very well be the end of your medical career. Not saying it 100% will be, but its a much larger risk that would be absolutely stupid to take if I'm being completely honest
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When you reapply, do you think this story is going to go over well when they ask you
"why did you decline an acceptance last year?"
Take the acceptance.
There are thousands of kids going to out of state schools and moving across the nation to attend medical school. Even got few coming from different countries. If they can handle the distance, you can too.
(p.s. I would call the school you're waitlisted at, that is close to home and let them know youre interested. Like ask them questions, keep in touch and just make sure they remember who you are)
"why did you decline an acceptance last year?"
Take the acceptance.
There are thousands of kids going to out of state schools and moving across the nation to attend medical school. Even got few coming from different countries. If they can handle the distance, you can too.
(p.s. I would call the school you're waitlisted at, that is close to home and let them know youre interested. Like ask them questions, keep in touch and just make sure they remember who you are)
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Would your family members want you to sacrifice your future career in medicine just so that you can be physically closer to them?
Do you realize that if you decline your acceptances and never fulfill your dream of becoming a doctor, you will unconsciously harbor some resentment toward your family members for the rest of your life?
Have you heard about the thousands of people who travel to godforsaken, crime-ridden hellholes in the Caribbean in order to have the chance that you've been given?
As my old pal Slim Shady once said,
"Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?"
Do you realize that if you decline your acceptances and never fulfill your dream of becoming a doctor, you will unconsciously harbor some resentment toward your family members for the rest of your life?
Have you heard about the thousands of people who travel to godforsaken, crime-ridden hellholes in the Caribbean in order to have the chance that you've been given?
As my old pal Slim Shady once said,
"Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?"
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Dude....take the acceptance. Seriously, take it. Applying to SMP’s after turning down an acceptance means you get to pay to apply, pay to attend, and then never get to be a doctor.
Schools will not see this as a valid reason to turn down an acceptance, and you’ll have close to a 0% shot next cycle. They’ll see some immaturity in you not wanting being willing to be temporarily apart from family, they’ll see poor decision making, and they’ll see a lack of forsight based on you applying to a school you don’t want to attend. In addition, they’ll fear you’ll pull the same stunt when you’re forced to do residency even further away.
Schools will not see this as a valid reason to turn down an acceptance, and you’ll have close to a 0% shot next cycle. They’ll see some immaturity in you not wanting being willing to be temporarily apart from family, they’ll see poor decision making, and they’ll see a lack of forsight based on you applying to a school you don’t want to attend. In addition, they’ll fear you’ll pull the same stunt when you’re forced to do residency even further away.
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As everyone else has said, take the acceptance and run with it. You get the chance to pursue your dream job!
I would try to shift your focus to setting up a plan for success at your new school. If you can start to develop a support network in your new location you might feel better about all the changes coming up. Can you look at the curriculum and designate certain weekends as home weekends? You can look into getting a credit card that gives you airline miles and start using it for your moving/new school costs to make trips home more affordable. Maybe you can set up some dates when your family can visit you so you have something to look forward to (cc miles come into play here too). Also check to see if you have extended family living nearer your new school- they could be a great support resource! Keep in mind that even if you went to school close to your family, you would probably not have a ton of time to see them. You may find that you actually get better quality time with your family than you would if you didn't have to set aside time for trips home. An upcoming weekend at home is a great motivator to get **** done efficiently. Also, scheduled facetime dates with little siblings or cousins are amazing stress relievers!
At the end of the day, though, you have to protect your own safety. If you need to stay home, stay home. If you had a major family or personal event recently and need some time to cope, maybe look into a deferment rather than turning down the acceptance altogether.
I would try to shift your focus to setting up a plan for success at your new school. If you can start to develop a support network in your new location you might feel better about all the changes coming up. Can you look at the curriculum and designate certain weekends as home weekends? You can look into getting a credit card that gives you airline miles and start using it for your moving/new school costs to make trips home more affordable. Maybe you can set up some dates when your family can visit you so you have something to look forward to (cc miles come into play here too). Also check to see if you have extended family living nearer your new school- they could be a great support resource! Keep in mind that even if you went to school close to your family, you would probably not have a ton of time to see them. You may find that you actually get better quality time with your family than you would if you didn't have to set aside time for trips home. An upcoming weekend at home is a great motivator to get **** done efficiently. Also, scheduled facetime dates with little siblings or cousins are amazing stress relievers!
At the end of the day, though, you have to protect your own safety. If you need to stay home, stay home. If you had a major family or personal event recently and need some time to cope, maybe look into a deferment rather than turning down the acceptance altogether.
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Absolutely drop the accept. I want to see your seat go to someone who truly wants to be a doctor.
Actually, if you can't get your mental health issues under control, then I can't recommend you matriculating anywhere. Medical school is a furnace, and I've seen it break even healthy students. The #1 reason my school loses students to withdrawal, dismissal or LOA is to unresolved mental health issues.
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I understand homesickness, I had to move 1500 miles to go to graduate school.
But, and this is a big but, if you are going to be too homesick to succeed in medical school, you are not mature enough to go to medical school.
But, and this is a big but, if you are going to be too homesick to succeed in medical school, you are not mature enough to go to medical school.
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AnatomyGrey12
At some point you will have to move away. What will you do when you slide down your match list and match a residency program far away?
This decision isn't about close or far, you quite literally are making the decision if you want to be a doctor or not. Your responses to good advice should be telling to you that you actually aren't as committed to medicine as you think. I agree with Goro, if you think homesickness will prevent you from doing well in medical school then you aren't mature enough for medical school.
Had a classmate who’s parent passed away during Neuro (a brutal course in and of itself). Person went to the funeral, grieved, came back and took our exams.
Medical school will break you. It will only be matter of time. I would say commit to your acceptance or admit to yourself that this isn’t for you. If you can’t youll be washed out. Not a matter of “if” but “when”.
Medical school will break you. It will only be matter of time. I would say commit to your acceptance or admit to yourself that this isn’t for you. If you can’t youll be washed out. Not a matter of “if” but “when”.
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famguy225 - Everyone here has given you solid advice. I understand it may not be what you want to hear with regards to missing family. I mean no offense at all and hope you take my chiming in as just another voice of experience: Your GPA suggests that doing well on exams doesn't come easy. It suggests that you, like myself as well, have to work hard for extended hours to fully grasp and master a concept or system. This suggests to me that you probably will need to study most of the day and evening in medical school to do well - like I had to. Please understand what that means - whether you are living 1500 miles away, or in the same home as your family, it really doesn't matter because the reality is that to succeed in medical school you will feel 'distanced' from your family just due to the uninterrupted extended study time it will require. I could be wrong, there were folks in medical school that studied throughout the day and watched TV in the evenings and got 9 hours of sleep and still did ok - you maybe one of them. However please really think this commitment over before signing off on those loans. Once you start - you are committed to work tirelessly to succeed or fail and have the weight of enormous debt that can't be legally excused. This is one of the biggest decisions of your life and the odds are, as others have suggested, that this is likely your one shot at matriculation into medical school. Dont make this decision yourself - involve your family. Good luck.
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This is probably the most important piece of advice in this thread. If your plan is to stay close to home so you can spend a lot of time with your family, realize that that probably won't work if you want to be successful in your courses. I turned down a med school 15 minutes from home for one 1,000 miles away because of this (other reasons too, but this was important). If you're going to be a doctor, it's time to act like an adult. Learn to be without your family. It'll suck at first, but it's life.
My advice, like everyone else, is to take the acceptance. One bird in the hand is worth two in the bush and all that.
That said, if you have a legitimate family situation that you feel will prevent you from performing well - consider deferment for a year. Take care of your family stuff, figure out a support network at the school and then move next year with a fresh/strong mind.
But don't forego a sure thing for a maybe thing.
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Best of luck. However, I advise you to really think this through.. You have 10+ people in the field ALL giving you the same advice -- this should tell you something. Believe me when I say, there is a good chance you will be "blacklisted" next cycle. Once you apply and have an acceptance that you end up turning down will only tell schools that you're not serious about becoming a physician. You're playing with fire and I hope you don't get burned. My advice is to take the acceptance and run. Good luck.
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There are very few acceptable reasons for forfeiting an acceptance. Homesickness is not one of them. If you did well on the MCAT, then not one school is buying the “wanting more science background” stuff. If you’ve met the pre-req requirements then you’re fine.
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I would be delighted to have your acceptance as well as move 2000 miles away from home in order to become a physician.
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Decline the acceptance so somebody else can get it
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I wish you luck with whatever you decide, but I want to warn you about doing a med school post bach as a non-science major.
A post bach with linkage is not a place for a non-science major with an acceptance to get science exposure. Many of your peers will have strong science backgrounds with a desire to do whatever it takes to gain an acceptance. You will also be graded against these people.
In medical school, some people with science backgrounds & non-science backgrounds will crumble under the shear volume of material. If it doesn’t break you, there’s a good chance you’ll have a 2.0 - 3.0 GPA like half of your class will.
So, what happens if you find yourself with a 2.5 GPA during the first year of medical school? Congratulations, you will still be a doctor.
What happens if you find yourself with a 2.5 GPA while taking med school classes in a linkage program? Tough luck, time to find a new career.
A post bach with linkage is not a place for a non-science major with an acceptance to get science exposure. Many of your peers will have strong science backgrounds with a desire to do whatever it takes to gain an acceptance. You will also be graded against these people.
In medical school, some people with science backgrounds & non-science backgrounds will crumble under the shear volume of material. If it doesn’t break you, there’s a good chance you’ll have a 2.0 - 3.0 GPA like half of your class will.
So, what happens if you find yourself with a 2.5 GPA during the first year of medical school? Congratulations, you will still be a doctor.
What happens if you find yourself with a 2.5 GPA while taking med school classes in a linkage program? Tough luck, time to find a new career.
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Like many have said before, take the acceptance. No one has ever been made strong by staying in their comfort zone. The people telling you to take your acceptance and run are trying to help you, not hurt you. However, the fact that you are still going to try for the SMP, despite the many replies about taking the acceptance, suggests you have already made up your mind and came to this forum to validate your decision. Take a moment to really think about what you want and weigh the cons of what you are planning to do. Is it impossible for you to get an acceptance after you decline this cycle? No, but there is no reason you need to make it more difficult for yourself when admission is hard enough as it is. Good luck
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AnatomyGrey12
This can happen from anywhere.... it’s a significant risk by attending ANY medical school that you won’t match where you want to.
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You'll only be blacklisted by the ones you were accepted at but did not attend
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This is something I wish I'd considered more heavily before entering training. Figured it'd be four years away from home, but now that's become eight to ten. Brutal is the nature of the process and I frequently hate myself for signing up for this ride.
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The issue isn't if you'll make it. You very well may not ever get a chance to get into medical school again. Like people have said, you have to disclose prior acceptances and "family" isn't a valid excuse. This is the same whether its a linkage program or a regular program. They'll happily take your money and reject you from the school for that exact reason. Everyone leaves their families in order to pursue this. Whether its during school, rotations, or residency. That's part of the path. You don't get to choose if you want to do this life.
I'm a huge proponent of family over medicine but at this point you are being stubborn and not listening to overwhelming advice to take the acceptance. You will not get another chance and seem to be inching closer to making a decision that will prevent you from ever becoming a doctor at all. So please for the love of God don't make the worst decision of your life. If you really want this you have to go for it now, there is no more being choosy. Give the seat to someone who is 100% in. If you weren't wanting to move you shouldn't have applied there in the first place
This!!!
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Looks like your reason is a bit different than that.
Homesickness reason to reapply is actually a good reason to reject an applicant.
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In your support, I turned down interviews from far away schools in order to attend a post bacc in a close by school. Otherwise I'd have to be away from my 6 year old son, since his dad wouldn't let me take him with me.
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I think this is kind of a different situation, though. You're talking about your child. OP is talking about their older parents-- I love my parents more than most people and get wanting to be close to them, but it's different.
Like was mentioned, child and parents different. Also turning down interviews is different than turning down an acceptance
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Especially since adult children and non-adult children are a totally different scenario. At some point you have to cut the cord.
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I get where you are coming from. Me and my family are really close, my sisters are like my best friends. I am currently away finishing my SMP and I miss them so much it makes me sad. I got accepted to a DO school basically in the same city as my family but my only MD acceptance is 9 hours away (which might as well be across the country because I wont have time for a drive like that). I'm having a really hard time because I am interested in surgical subspecialties so my best chance would be to stick with the MD school. The main thing you have to remember though is we have chosen a kind of selfless career. Your calling to medicine and serving others is important too and it doesn't mean you are choosing medicine over them. Your family is always rooting for you and wants you to achieve your dreams no matter how far you are. Push through and make yourself and them proud!
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As much as I'd like to agree with my esteemed collegues, if you are not happy with your acceptance I am 100 percent supporting you to do the post baccl. Your mcat is very high enough that if you were to do well in the masters you can convince others of your intelligence . Many ppl tunnel vision that getting into medical school is the deal. No no it is not. Being able to complete it is.....
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I'm sorry you don't know what you're talking about honestly...it isn't that he/she needs to convince people of intelligence....they already have an acceptance. Like I've said 3 times...he/she will have to explain why they didn't take the acceptance and the reasons that he/she gave are not adequate. Even if they do well in the SMP with linkage, it shows a degree of immaturity and indecisiveness. There are so many people applying for every medical school seat so why should a school take a risk on someone who has shown that they may not go through with the training unless its perfect for them?
Basically it comes down to this...medical school and residency are grinds. You will sometimes not have a say in where you go for rotations, residency, or even an attending job. Its part of the deal. There are so many people vying for each spot and OP will get blackballed most likely. Schools will take the money and deny for other reasons but itll happen. That's what it is. People move away from their family all the time for this training to be in the most respected profession in the world. It would be incredibly risky to give up this seat for these reasons. Period.
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I’d go to the DO school far away. I am a current DO student. I am a 15-16 hour drive from home and actually live closer than many of my friends. The distance does suck but with FaceTime and Skype (and Christmas break) you should be okay. Don’t let distance stop your dreams.
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You're missing the point of what will get you blacklisted. You will not be blacklisted because you wanted a stronger science background before attending. You will be blacklisted for turning down the acceptance.
As others have said, because of your high MCAT, you have already proved that you don't need a stronger science background before starting medical school. AKA - this is just an excuse. Excuses don't fly in medical school.
You have already completed a DIY post-bacc that schools liked enough to accept you - an SMP is overkill and again - it's just an excuse.
If you are so unwilling to live away from family for medical school, you should not have even applied to schools far away from home. That was your biggest mistake in my opinion. I drove 24 hours by myself to move. My roommate lives 12+ hours away from her working husband to be here. I had two of my family members die in a fire last month and I am still here trucking along and getting good grades and I wouldn't have it any other way.
You need to put in perspective what this means. You should only apply to medical school when you are 200% ready to make the commitment and make the move. You have shot yourself in the foot by applying before you were ready and to a school you didn't want to attend. When you reapply, schools that already accepted you once, will wonder why you didn't take their acceptance in order to apply again and reluctance to move away from home isn't going to cut it - it's just an excuse. They won't want to waist a seat by offering it to someone they aren't sure can commit to their school. Schools that didn't accept you will see that you were offered an acceptance but that you turned it down in favor of applying again - they will wonder if you could commit to their school if you couldn't even commit to an acceptance from another school. If you can't bring yourself to move for school, what will happen if they match a residency far away from home? Will this person forego matching and try again the following year? This is not a desirable quality in an applicant to medical school. Why should they take the chance on you when there are so many other applicants with similar or better scores that are willing to commit?
No one is going to hold your hand through this and at this point, there are no do-overs. You must choose between taking your acceptance or being blacklisted with the likelihood of never getting another acceptance. After this, your best shot will be a Caribbean school where you will be in farther away from home and in far more debt, among other things. Rejecting an acceptance is what will get you blacklisted, your grades and exam scores will not prevent that.
Your best chance is to convince them to let you defer a year and take the acceptance the following year, but if you reject the acceptance in favor of an SMP? It's basically a done deal, look into other career options.
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Not sure if this has been posted, but have you tried calling the nearer DO school that you're waitlisted at?
Explain the situation, tell them you've been accepted at two other schools and maybe reconsider.
I doubt it'll change anything, but worth a shot, no?
Explain the situation, tell them you've been accepted at two other schools and maybe reconsider.
I doubt it'll change anything, but worth a shot, no?
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To be honest I know how people will see my post but I really don't want to put someone in a bad situation. Medical school isn't college. It is rough and being away from family for someone who doesn't want that isn't that great an idea. Personally, you need to talk with the local DO programs and figure out what they are looking for. SDN can be a helpful place but many people are also typing behind their screes. I can speak honestly and tell you that if at the end of the day you are unhappy with your decision, you are going to regret it later on. Looking back, I would have done a post bacc and tried the same thing out but back then I was worried about time which isn't a bad thing either to think about but it isn't the end of the world. Don't be that kid who goes somewhere knowing they will not adjust well and then complain. Then when you come back to sdn crying about it the same people will say "well you laid your bed". I am just saying that you are bright kid, I can see you getting into closer medical schools if you seek counseling from a professional company and trying a good strategy. Otherwise, pick up your big boy pants and accept that you will try again for residency. I don't really have that much time to see my family anyways but there have been times where I needed them.
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AnatomyGrey12
lol, that's not how this works. Stop engaging in magic thinking on behalf of OP.
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deleted480308
Everyone here is behind a screen, that’s how the internet works.
And not all med students are happy and fulfilled in school. You aren’t even all supposed to be. It’s a entrance fee to the life of being an attending, the opportunity cost if you will......and it’s a big and hard one and sometimes it beats you up. You don’t go to med school to be happy, although you might end up happy (I was). You go to med school to get a residency....don’t romanticize the process
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Take the acceptance. You're family will be fine, you can call and skype them. The truth is you'll be so busy you won't have to time to worry about them. Stop being afraid of med school. People on here make med school out to be hell on earth, like its some superhuman task that will break your soul and crush you permanently. The truth is it really isn't that bad. Just put in the work, and study everyday and you will be fine.
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Not romanticizing anything. It is as simple as it can be. Everyone works hard to get in but how many complete? You aren't really daydreaming in medical school and if you guys read the end of my post I mention you'll be too busy to care for family stuff. But because we don't know op and their life, we cannot also absolutely say they will fit the best in the place they are about to go. The best advice is the one that sees the benefit of both options. If the op does not choose their med school, they are looking at 2-4 years of waiting again to get in. As long as you apply regionally knowing you want to stay regionally, work hard on it. There are ways but the sacrifices are the same if not more. But if at the end of the day it makes you feel better I say do it.
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Objectively, it's dumb to turn down an acceptance (a sure thing) for a chance at MAYBE getting an acceptance next year closer to home. I sense you already know that.
That said, I have classmates who really, really struggled with being far from home during medical school. And it's not necessarily only four years-- there's no guarantee that you'll be able to match close to home four years from now, as the wise @Mad Jack alluded to several posts ago. If you're absolutely certain you won't be able to handle being far from your family, mentally and/or academically, you might be making the right choice by staying close to home and seeing what happens next year, as long as you realize an acceptance next year is far from guaranteed and that you're going to face this same dilemma when you're applying for residency a few years from now. Only you know what's best for you.
That said, I have classmates who really, really struggled with being far from home during medical school. And it's not necessarily only four years-- there's no guarantee that you'll be able to match close to home four years from now, as the wise @Mad Jack alluded to several posts ago. If you're absolutely certain you won't be able to handle being far from your family, mentally and/or academically, you might be making the right choice by staying close to home and seeing what happens next year, as long as you realize an acceptance next year is far from guaranteed and that you're going to face this same dilemma when you're applying for residency a few years from now. Only you know what's best for you.
Honestly, the majority of medical students "complete" medical school, so that's not really illustrating anything mind-blowing.
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I appreciate the short response but I am not absolute in my reply and neither did I imply that a significant number does not complete. Just said people don't complete so be wary of that fact. We forget these short and simple things but I mentioned it to provide perspective. I presented the OP with two different scenarios. It is important that OP evaluate his/her options accordingly. You are just as much a costumer to a school as you are a thankful student having acquired a seat. Don't outweigh the thankfulness for what may deceivingly be an uninformed decision.
Number 1 question: What is your goal? Do you know the specialty you want to go into? (This is unfair to ask because the OP will needlessly change their mind but as I know from my superiors it is an important question to ask. With the merger in place, if you are decidedly looking to go into ultracompetitive specialty and you are set on it, going DO may not be the right decision since it will be an uphill battle. You may also inquire pointblank with admin right now to see how supportive they are of your goals. They will tell you the truth).
Number 2 question: Do you know and agree with the curriculum and school schedule?
Number 3 question; What is the dedicated 2nd year schedule like?
Number 4 question: Is family support important? Will you need your loved ones close by because you may not have as strong a coping skill emotionally that is?
Number 5 question. Have you really explored medicine to know that becoming a doctor is the right thing to do?
Number 6 question: Are you planning on having a child or something of the nature while in medical school and are good at adapting?
Number 7 question: What is the family circumstances? If something happens will you be able to hold yourself together?
Number 8 question: What makes you happy?
Number 9 question: Do you have a back up plan?
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Have you considered becoming a PA? It is less schooling and you will be able to stay close to home. I am in a similar situation as you where I really cherish time with my (one and only) family member, and I can't see leaving them as the right choice for me. I have been strongly considering PA school for this reason, but at the same time I don't know if I will regret not going all the way. Just curious to see your thoughts on PA school.
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I am a non-traditional student who had to do a post-bacc because I went to college before I was emotionally ready and BOMBED back in the day. If you honestly don't think you can be successful so far away from your support network, I applaud your emotional intelligence and advise you to not go. It will be much more expensive to go, fail and have to remediate than to wait and do it right.
You need to recognize the risk you're undertaking in waiting though. You may not get in next year, will you be okay with that?
You need to recognize the risk you're undertaking in waiting though. You may not get in next year, will you be okay with that?
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