Hoping to tap the collective wisdom of the board on this one. This is not a request for medical/psychological advice, so please keep the focus on the work decision itself and not psychological advice/coping as I would genuinely hate to see this thread locked. Trust that I've got that piece down as best circumstances allow and am doing what I can.
Just found out a few hours ago my parents both have COVID. They are - so far - doing OKish (at least able to speak on phone) and not yet hospitalized, though it remains possible. They are in their late 60's with some health problems (diabetes, cancer survivor, high bp, etc.) so needless to say I am nonetheless very concerned what path this will go down in the coming days. Probably amplified by the fact that I am across the country with no reasonable prospects of being able to get to them (and they would probably bar the doors if they saw me coming anyways).
I am scheduled in clinic tomorrow and right now my entire caseload basically consists of treating people for "OMG we're all gonna die from COVID" anxiety. I am generally pretty good at drawing emotional boundaries when it comes to clinical care. I am much less certain about my ability to be present for them tomorrow, or the toll it will take on my own mental health from trying to be. Like everyone, I've certainly had some off-days where I am somewhat more distracted for whatever reason and not 100%, but I expect tomorrow to be distinctly different. I've certainly had days where a handful of cases hit a little closer to home. I've had days where I had some challenges and still made it work without difficulty. This is the first time in my career I'm seriously questioning whether I am grounded enough to make it through tomorrow. At the same time, they are my patients and our department is SLAMMED right now so there is no hope of coverage. Although a big part of me wants to cancel, seeing our medical staff power through has me feeling like a bit of a wuss. At the same time (and obviously not to disparage our field), my patients are not particularly high acuity and I am about as certain as I can be my clinic tomorrow will not be the difference between life and death for anyone.
What would you do? Can't promise I'll reply, but I'll read the responses.
Putting my situation aside, for those who weren't yet thinking about things like this....might be time. I sincerely hope no one else ends up in this position, but my parents are not in a hotspot and were being extraordinarily careful. So while the thought had occurred to me something like this might happen I was not yet really prepared for it. I sincerely hope no one else ends up in this position in the coming weeks, but I'm increasingly confident many of us will.