Dad pretty much forcing me into health care, specfically Medicine.

MagicDrumSticks

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I knew this day would come, after a huge fight with my father about how me becomming a doctor is his dream and not mine, he has stated abruptly that he won't pay for my college if I don't go into medicine.

Now since I have no choice and nowhere to go, I want to pick an easier pre-professional major that makes good money. Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.

I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE
 
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I knew this day would come, after a huge fight with my father about how me becomming a doctor is his dream and not mine, he has stated abruptly that he won't pay for my college if I don't go into medicine.

Now since I have no choice and nowhere to go, I want to pick an easier pre-professional major that makes good money. Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.

I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE
I don't think that there's any short cuts in that would let you slack off and breeze through college. Have you considered being an PA (Physician's Assistant) I know some who go through college and PA school and come up with $80,000 starting salaries when they're 25. If you decide to specialize, there some PA's who make $170,000-$180,000 in surgical specialty fields. How about scrolling down the main SDN forum and looking under the "clinician" thread? I think the pre-requisite classes for PA's are similar to medical school classes but you can pick whatever major you like.
 

Chocolate Bear

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I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE
How the heck would we know what *you* like?

Figure that out yourself, then find the job that matches.
 

loveoforganic

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Dentistry is definitely not an easy path, but once you're set up, you could definitely have plenty of time for yourself. It's probably an easier path than the fields in medicine that would allow you to do the same.
 

Exalya

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I knew this day would come, after a huge fight with my father about how me becomming a doctor is his dream and not mine, he has stated abruptly that he won't pay for my college if I don't go into medicine.

Now since I have no choice and nowhere to go, I want to pick an easier pre-professional major that makes good money. Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.

I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE
Why isn't getting a job possible? State schools are cheap... community college is cheaper... is there something you like? Psychology? Sociology? Any major can be "pre-professional," it doesn't mean you have to apply to med school/PA school/etc. at the end.
 

FuturaDocta

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Dentistry is definitely not an easy path, but once you're set up, you could definitely have plenty of time for yourself. It's probably an easier path than the fields in medicine that would allow you to do the same.
:thumbup:

Yup, they basically go through the same rigor until they are finally settled. Then, they have a fairly easier lifestyle.

Or, you can man up and stop depending on your father so much. No offense. Think of some ways you can get away from him financial (easier said than done, I know). But, it is way better than doing something you may not enjoy ever.

But to answer your question, go dentistry if you like patient contact or pharmacy if you like the lab and organic chemistry.
 

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I don't think you bothered to read my original post. I DONT HAVE A CHOICE. It's either go into a healthcare job, or not go to college at all. Is this really that hard to answer?
I missed one word, leading to my misinterpretation. My bad.

Back to your dilemma...you'll have to just go shadow some professionals and discuss with them what their jobs are like, daily life, free time, etc. :luck:
 
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Pinkertinkle

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your dad is right! don't be a sissy, MD or nothing! You can always be a pathologist or something chill.
 
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MagicDrumSticks

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I missed one word, leading to my misinterpretation. My bad.

Back to your dilemma...you'll have to just go shadow some professionals and discuss with them what their jobs are like, daily life, free time, etc. :luck:
lol its cool, sorry for my cranky response, I'm just kind of angry right now :(


And no I don't really think there's anything that stands out to me. I like electronics and stuff (like cnet.com) and I like talking to people. But jobs like that don't pay squat and I want to be financially stable
 
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I knew this day would come, after a huge fight with my father about how me becomming a doctor is his dream and not mine, he has stated abruptly that he won't pay for my college if I don't go into medicine.

Now since I have no choice and nowhere to go, I want to pick an easier pre-professional major that makes good money. Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.

I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE
Okay. You ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. But, your choice may not be the easiest route. You will NOT be the only person out there who has paid for their education through student loans. You will NOT be the only person out there who has chosen a career path besides that which their parents desired. You will NOT be alone in this, and there is a way.

If you are being "forced" into medicine, then it isn't for you. Read this forum, and see for yourself how hard some of us are fighting for the opportunity to serve others and to become physicians. This is what we want - regardless of what our parents want.

Find out for yourself what you want to do with YOUR life. Make your parents proud by living a full and happy life. It may not be an easy decision to make, but YOU ultimately are making it (whether you CHOOSE to follow your parents' wishes or your own).

It's all a choice. Make it a good one.
 
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Slowpoke

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i'm sorry if this is going to come off trollish, but....

Your dad needs a wake up call.. Have him sign up for an account on SDN and read around, watch NOVA's doctor diaries, read books on the pre-medical process... anything.. get that guy informed...

This is analogous to forcing your child into an oven. An oven that scorches and burns the skin and soul. There are people who choose to freely enter this oven and are scarred from it, but I am sure people who are forced into it take away from it something much more dark and unimaginable.

All of us work our asses off because we want to, you're going to have to work your ass off because your dad wants you to. How far do you think this mentality is going to take you?
 

YeOldeMan

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Why don't you do a major you like, sign up for the "pre medical" designation if your school does that, and do your major and the premed requirements. Then you can do whatever you like after you're done with college, or if you still feel the pressure, or have developed a liking for it, you can still go to medical school.

Of course this is an oversimplified suggestion. You definitely want to give it more thought that I wrote.
 

nabeel76

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Well since you can go into medicine and dentistry (not sure about pharm) with any undergraduate major as long as you take the prereqs, why don't you major in whatever you would've had had your dad not been so controlling.

That way you still have options at the end of the road, if your dad in 4 years is still pushing for medicine or health care then you can CHOOSE to go down that road. If he's not, or you've decided your not going to do it, well then you've got the degree you want and you can always pay him back if need be.
 

rigel

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two possibilities seem most likely
1) your dad is bluffing, and if you pursue what you find meaningful and fulfilling he'll eventually relent
2) your dad is an a****e, and really is going to withhold resources set aside for something that, although not strictly necessary, would certainly go a lot way towards your long term financial security and well being.

in both cases, you pursuing what you want to do is probably the best option. it will be difficult. that's life.
 
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debbidala

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I probably shouldn't post this (famous last words), but what on earth? Not to play the competitive misery game, but just to use myself as one of MANY examples - I'm a 33 year old nontrad in the middle of a divorce with 4 kids under 9 and I'm still going to go to med school, come hell or high water. Many people have much worse hard-luck stories. You don't have a choice? Buck up, buddy. You're a grownup now. Make your own decisions.

Tough love, honestly - not trying to be an ass, but I think it's kind of an obvious mistake to let someone else pick your career for you.
 
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MagicDrumSticks

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But I don't know where else to go. I've LITERALLY grown up watching discovery health and the science channel because my dad made me. It's like brainwashing a kid to grow up and be a terrorist, they can't think for themselves. My dad only bought me toys like fake stestoscopes and syringes, wtf?
 

loveoforganic

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What are some things you enjoy doing? I can't remember the exact saying, but "if you love what you do for work, you're not really working" is very true
 

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I mean, what does he expect of you? You can major in damn near whatever you want and still go to medical school so I'm not sure what he's shooting for you to do in undergrad.

He definitely needs to read around and understand that an increasing amount of med students aren't Biology majors. There's a lot of non-traditional med students floating around the forum it seems.

You've mentioned that you're interested in electronics. Why not major in Computer Science, fulfill your med school requirements, and then see what the future brings? As a computer science major, depending on the university, you'll probably fulfill quite a chunk of them anyway. You'll also have a great fall back degree if you don't end up shooting for med school.

Everyone above me is absolutely correct. If you're not doing this for you then you're not going to be able have the passion and put forth the effort to earn the grades to get you there anyway.
 
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I mean, what does he expect of you? You can major in damn near whatever you want and still go to medical school so I'm not sure what he's shooting for you to do in undergrad.

He definitely needs to read around and understand that an increasing amount of med students aren't Biology majors. There's a lot of non-traditional med students floating around the forum it seems.

You've mentioned that you're interested in electronics. Why not major in Computer Science, fulfill your med school requirements, and then see what the future brings? As a computer science major, depending on the university, you'll probably fulfill quite a chunk of them anyway. You'll also have a great fall back degree if you don't end up shooting for med school.

Everyone above me is absolutely correct. If you're not doing this for you then you're not going to be able have the passion and put forth the effort to earn the grades to get you there anyway.
I think Electrical Engineering could be a more financially stable way and fills even more prereq's at my university, if you find it about as interesting as CS! =)

Good luck, I'm thankful my parents never tried to force my decisions about school. Then again, they're not paying for me to go to a sweet private undergrad, either =(
 

NoMoreAMCAS

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Pharm, it's cake. You can get into several Pharm schools with a 3.0 and a half azz PCAT. I know because I have several friends who have done so. They aren't the best schools, but they will get you the degree you need. Skate through a Biology major (or any major, just do the pre-reqs) and apply.
 
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MagicDrumSticks

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whatever you do, do it everyday for 20 years and you'll hate it.
That's EXACTLY what my dad says, and would rather hate something I initially liked than loath something I initially hated.

I think Electrical Engineering could be a more financially stable way and fills even more prereq's at my university, if you find it about as interesting as CS! =)

Good luck, I'm thankful my parents never tried to force my decisions about school. Then again, they're not paying for me to go to a sweet private undergrad, either =(
Hmm, I'm scared of electricity LOL. What do EEngineers do anyway? Man my dad's always like "Do you really think anyone enjoys going to school for that long? They're all doing it for the money!"

I mean, what does he expect of you? You can major in damn near whatever you want and still go to medical school so I'm not sure what he's shooting for you to do in undergrad.

He definitely needs to read around and understand that an increasing amount of med students aren't Biology majors. There's a lot of non-traditional med students floating around the forum it seems.

You've mentioned that you're interested in electronics. Why not major in Computer Science, fulfill your med school requirements, and then see what the future brings? As a computer science major, depending on the university, you'll probably fulfill quite a chunk of them anyway. You'll also have a great fall back degree if you don't end up shooting for med school.

Everyone above me is absolutely correct. If you're not doing this for you then you're not going to be able have the passion and put forth the effort to earn the grades to get you there anyway.
I'm pretty terrible at math and I AM a people person. I wanted something where I don't have to stare at code all day. Plus I'm told CS isn't stable at all. Pretty much Math and Science I don't like and don't want to deal with. Though if it's absolutely necessary I will have to. And you're right, I ended up with a 2.62 the first year becase I hated the classes I was in. Though for some reason, I ended up with that GPA because of my core classes, got a solid 3.0 science gpa (all Bs) so far
 
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MagicDrumSticks

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Pharm, it's cake. You can get into several Pharm schools with a 3.0 and a half azz PCAT. I know because I have several friends who have done so. They aren't the best schools, but they will get you the degree you need. Skate through a Biology major (or any major, just do the pre-reqs) and apply.

As long as the job is easy and doesn't require much thinking, I hate Chemistry with a passion, though not as much as Bio.
 

loveoforganic

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Pharm is so not for you if you hate chemistry. At all.
 

muhali3

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You can still become a doctor and have an extremely good lifestyle if you match into something like Derm/Rads. $350k salary with a 45hr/week job.

If you don't want to do MD/DO then becoming a PA is the second best option. Less school and still a ~100k salary and good hours.

I'm sure you can learn to like medicine, I think you just haven't been exposed to it yet. Shadow all types of docs.
 

Sweetpea MD

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MagicDrumSticks, I'm assuming based on your post that you're either about to start college or you're a rising high school senior? Well as someone who is probably about ten years older than you, I want to give you a piece of well-intended advice. DO WHAT YOU LOVE. In the end, it's your life and no matter what your dad says, you will have to live with your decision much longer than he will. When I was your age, I had to apply for scholarships because my parents couldn't afford to pay for my college. Bottom line: there was no $$. So not only did I apply for scholarships, but I got one to a top ten university and took out less than one year of tuition in loans to cover the rest. IT CAN BE DONE!! Apply for scholarships. Get a loan if you need to, wait some tables, get a job on campus, and do what you need to do!

Others have also given you some very good advice...and I also must reiterate what was said. We are all bleeding out our eyes putting in the study time and the hard work to make it to medical school. You have to love it, or you won't survive.
 
N

NAVY DDS 2010

You have been dreading this moment for a long time now huh? Well, here are the two options as I see it.

1. You will need to grow a set of balls at some point and stand up to your dad letting him know that you are not iterested (or)

2. Do what your dad wants you to do and be miserable.


My thought is #1 is the best thing for YOU (not your dad). When to stand up for yourself is the biggest problem for you as i see it. If you want dad to pay for undergrad, then go the pre-med route. Most med and dental schools have the similar requirements. You will need to check what schools you want to apply to and see what the exact requirements will be. Then, once it is time to apply for schools let him know. At this point, school will be almost paid for. Yes, he might be mad, but then again when will he be happy? He might even be more accepting of your decision a few years from now - especially if Obama makes major changes to the healthcare system.

Overall, you need to do what you want - not someone else. You are an adult. It is your life. If you want to live under your parent's rule the rest of your life, you will have no one else but yourself to blame for that. otherwise, quit your whining and develop a plan on how you want to inform your parents of your decision and tell them! So what if you have to pay for your undergrad. Most people don't get school handed to them. Worst case is that you have to go to a small 4 yr college like many of us.
 

vin5cent0

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I knew this day would come, after a huge fight with my father about how me becomming a doctor is his dream and not mine, he has stated abruptly that he won't pay for my college if I don't go into medicine.

Now since I have no choice and nowhere to go, I want to pick an easier pre-professional major that makes good money. Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.

I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE
Dude, no offense but you sound like a d-bag asking for a LUCRATIVE CAREER with no other considerations. Man up and take out loans for college like everyone else.
 

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He wants you to help people, and you want easy money...

I see...
 

adeline

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Go to a CC or a statie and get grants/loans. If you cannot be declared independent by the "rules," there is generally a process to get an exception.

Then do what you love.

Tell your dad to come here and we'll kick his butt.
 

dukemed22

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Someone may have already suggested this, but why don't you just tell your dad that you're going pre-med, and then in 4 years when you graduate, just do whatever you want. Major in what interests you (if necessary, explain to your dad how you don't have to be a biology major to get into med school), and you could even take a few science pre-reqs to make yourself believable.
 

Signaq

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Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.
You should go out and get a job and pay for your school. :nod:
 

futureboy

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Hmm, I'm scared of electricity LOL. What do EEngineers do anyway? Man my dad's always like "Do you really think anyone enjoys going to school for that long? They're all doing it for the money!"

I'm pretty terrible at math and I AM a people person. I wanted something where I don't have to stare at code all day. Plus I'm told CS isn't stable at all. Pretty much Math and Science I don't like and don't want to deal with. Though if it's absolutely necessary I will have to. And you're right, I ended up with a 2.62 the first year becase I hated the classes I was in. Though for some reason, I ended up with that GPA because of my core classes, got a solid 3.0 science gpa (all Bs) so far
Please clarify. Are you still in high school, or are you in college? From your post, it looks like you're in college, but I'm not sure. If you're in college, you'll need to work on the 2.62 GPA to have a realistic shot at medical school if you end up wanting to go that route.

If you're not so good at math, engineering isn't for you, and it will be tough to get a high enough GPA to get into med school if that's what you want to do.

I suggest that you declare your intent to be premed, major in business, and take the med school prerequsites. It's a flexible and practical major to fall back on, and the premed science classes will help you stand out a bit from the other business majors if you decide not to go to med school (or if you don't get in). The business major would also help you stand out a bit from the other premeds if you choose to apply to medical school.

This way, everybody wins. You will be a premed, so Dad will pay for college and you won't have loans. You will graduate with a useful degree, and you can do what you want at that point--Dad can't FORCE you to go to medical school.

If you go this route, I suggest that you still keep an open mind about medicine. You may hate the idea of entering the field BECAUSE your dad is trying to force you into it. Once you know that you have non-medical options available after college, you may find that you actually WANT to pursue medicine.

Whatever you do, don't go into medicine or any other field if you hate it. You WILL be miserable. Trust me--I've been in a career that I don't particularly like (but don't really hate, either) for 16 years.
 

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Squishy
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Before we continue, is your dad Asian? If so, :scared:
 

bakanoisha

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I knew this day would come, after a huge fight with my father about how me becomming a doctor is his dream and not mine, he has stated abruptly that he won't pay for my college if I don't go into medicine.

Now since I have no choice and nowhere to go, I want to pick an easier pre-professional major that makes good money. Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.

I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE
Go to a CC for 2 yrs, transfer to a state university and do what you like. Your debt will be minimal. Find an on-campus job and work part time. You'll be fine.

You need to be a big enough person to do what you want, your dad can't force you into anything. Is it worth devoting your entire life to someone elses dreams and desires? (The answer is universally NO!)
 

image187

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Your dad most likely failed at achieving what he would have liked to in his own career and now he feels insecure. This is not your fault and you DO NOT need to pay the price for it. Let your dad know that if he doesn't want to support you then you don't need his money for college. Please, make yourself happy by making your own decisions, no matter how hard it may seem.
 
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Some others have suggested something similar to this but you could always "forget" to take one of the crucial premed classes...then when time came to apply conveniently you wouldn't qualify. whoops :cool:
 
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MagicDrumSticks

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You can still become a doctor and have an extremely good lifestyle if you match into something like Derm/Rads. $350k salary with a 45hr/week job.

If you don't want to do MD/DO then becoming a PA is the second best option. Less school and still a ~100k salary and good hours.

I'm sure you can learn to like medicine, I think you just haven't been exposed to it yet. Shadow all types of docs.
Considering I don't like this stuff (for whatever reason) matching into derm is EXTREMELY unlikely. I mean come on, if I'm not at the top of my class now how will i be in med school?

Please clarify. Are you still in high school, or are you in college? From your post, it looks like you're in college, but I'm not sure. If you're in college, you'll need to work on the 2.62 GPA to have a realistic shot at medical school if you end up wanting to go that route.

If you're not so good at math, engineering isn't for you, and it will be tough to get a high enough GPA to get into med school if that's what you want to do.

I suggest that you declare your intent to be premed, major in business, and take the med school prerequsites. It's a flexible and practical major to fall back on, and the premed science classes will help you stand out a bit from the other business majors if you decide not to go to med school (or if you don't get in). The business major would also help you stand out a bit from the other premeds if you choose to apply to medical school.

This way, everybody wins. You will be a premed, so Dad will pay for college and you won't have loans. You will graduate with a useful degree, and you can do what you want at that point--Dad can't FORCE you to go to medical school.

If you go this route, I suggest that you still keep an open mind about medicine. You may hate the idea of entering the field BECAUSE your dad is trying to force you into it. Once you know that you have non-medical options available after college, you may find that you actually WANT to pursue medicine.

Whatever you do, don't go into medicine or any other field if you hate it. You WILL be miserable. Trust me--I've been in a career that I don't particularly like (but don't really hate, either) for 16 years.
I finished first year of college. Took Bio 1 and 2 and the Labs with College Algebra and a year of english. Also took, psyc, hist and Theater. None of those really stood out either

Before we continue, is your dad Asian? If so, :scared:
Indian yes :(
 

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Squishy
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Would you be interested in military service? :eek: That would pay for your school!
 

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Squishy
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Well unless you have any other ideas, joining the military is the best way to fund your education. You can do anything you want if you get a good enough score, too...
 

bertbacharat

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I doubt your father would follow through with that arrangement of not paying. You see under no circumstance should one individual hold money over another persons head. Even if he is your father he shouldn't play games with money. Its either he pays or he doesn't; no stipulations for either situation.

I suggest paying for college like everyone else with LOANS. Consider yourself lucky to have your father offer to pay for any of your schooling. You have to realize you're coming into a forum where many members have paid their way through college and now are in substantial debt.
 

RevivedPreMed

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If you really want to make your dad feel like you're trying to go to med school you should major in what you want to major while taking the pre-med prereqs. Then take the MCAT (don't take it seriously if you do not want to be a doctor) and then apply to only the top schools. He can't be pissed if you don't get in, especially if you make it seem like you're upset about it.

Honestly, doing all that is way more stressful and more work than just telling him to back off and getting a job.
 

CopToEM

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You know, I slept on this and had to come back and post again. This deal with parents forcing their children to do something with their life they don't want to do is pretty pathetic.

I became a cop almost straight out of high school because I enjoyed the law field. However, my mother was a prosecutor and has been an attorney for a number of years, and I couldn't see myself being content 'inside' the court rooms all the time. I wanted to be in the excitement of it all. So, I became a cop, founded a couple businesses to help prop up the low income, and started working day in and day out.

However, it wasn't long before I realized that there were a lot of people out there doing a lot less work than me and living a lot better life. I started to think about how I had pissed away the prospect of going to college after high school just to fulfill a quick enjoyment.

However, I did learn something that most parents don't allow their kids to learn. I learned what it's like to have debt, to provide for others, to work rotating shifts, to put up with society's destitute, and ultimately what it's like in the 'real world.' In the end, I don't regret doing what I did, because it made me have much more respect for the opportunities that a good education can award you.

Your dad forcing you into this isn't going to help your life. In fact, judging by your performance the first year of college, he's hurting you more than he's helping you. Had he injected this idea into your mind and allowed YOU to decide if you wanted to do it... you may very well have. You'd possess that passion that's required to pursue any field of study.

So, with all that said, I must tell you what I would do. I would tell him to keep his money. There are millions of adults - young and old - in this country who go to school on their own. It's not the path of least resistance between point A and point B but it's definitely achievable. Don't let him strong-arm you into a field of study that you genuinely have no interest in.

Tell him that you appreciate him wanting you to succeed in life but you're not happy with where things are going. Ask his good graces to allow you to pursue a different major and if he tells you no... tell him that's fine... you'll take out the loans you need and work to provide what those loans won't.

Just my two cents.
 

sunset823

10+ Year Member
Jun 4, 2006
959
8
Wisconsin
Status
Fellow [Any Field]
Indian yes :(
*snort* I'm profoundly shocked...not.

Go to a cheap state school, take the loans, and be a free man. It's America.

P.S. This isn't from personal experience, but close - Indian parents usually relent on their ultimatums when push comes to shove. If you tell your dad that you don't need him and won't ever see him again, I'm pretty sure he'll give up.
 
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