Dad pretty much forcing me into health care, specfically Medicine.

[YouNeverKnow22]

haha damn indian parents, some of them are insane........I'm Indian and thankfully my parents didn't force me to pick this route but I've seen that most indian parents force their kids to go into medicine....my word of advice is to do what you want, you can explain to your dad what you love....harder than it sounds but the truth is what needs to be said when it comes to decisions like this

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[buffywannabe]

Option 1: tell your dad you are going to do med school. you said you had a 3.0 and you seem lazy. You will probably not do any ec's so you can apply using his $, get rejected and move on with life.

Option 2: Take out loans. My parents didn't pay for a dime of my college... so cry me a river

 

[vickpick]

hmm... hmmm beta dat is wat I tink is best por u.

 

[BennieBlanco]

I knew this day would come, after a huge fight with my father about how me becomming a doctor is his dream and not mine, he has stated abruptly that he won't pay for my college if I don't go into medicine.

Now since I have no choice and nowhere to go, I want to pick an easier pre-professional major that makes good money. Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.

I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE

This question is ludicrous on many levels.

 

[TopSecret]

I knew this day would come, after a huge fight with my father about how me becomming a doctor is his dream and not mine, he has stated abruptly that he won't pay for my college if I don't go into medicine.

Now since I have no choice and nowhere to go, I want to pick an easier pre-professional major that makes good money. Please don't tell me to go out and get a job and pay for my school as it's not going to be possible.

I was considering pre-pharm or dent? Which one is very lucrative while allowing me time to do what I LIKE

How about you take out some loans, pay your college tuition, and do what you want to do?

 

[BennieBlanco]

Option 1: tell your dad you are going to do med school. you said you had a 3.0 and you seem lazy. You will probably not do any ec's so you can apply using his $, get rejected and move on with life.

Option 2: Take out loans. My parents didn't pay for a dime of my college... so cry me a river

Cry me a rrriiiiverrrrrrr. Cry me, Cry me.

 

[TopSecret]

Whatever you do, don't do this.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoK7MqQVU14[/YOUTUBE]

 

[FuturaDocta]

Your dad needs a wake up call.. Have him sign up for an account on SDN and read around, watch NOVA's doctor diaries, read books on the pre-medical process... anything.. get that guy informed...

Saw it and loved it. Every pre-med should see this account before they go into medicine, IMO.

That's not true at all. I've masturbated everyday for the past 20 years, and it's still pretty awesome!

OP, I think LOO is giving you some tips on how to take charge of your life.

Whatever you do, don't do this.

[YOUTUBE]OoK7MqQVU14[/YOUTUBE]

That would be hilarious to interview a student like that.

 

[TopSecret]

That would be hilarious to interview a student like that.

Indeed.

I love that movie. Go to 7:39. It's one of the classic scenes.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghBElNA4pzU[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Pinkertinkle]

That's not true at all. I've masturbated everyday for the past 20 years, and it's still pretty awesome!

Do you do it for ten hours a day, 5-6 days a week?

 

[peppy]

Your dad sounds old school enough that I don't know if he would be satisfied with this idea, but if you really feel like you have to pick a healthcare career then nursing might be a good option to think about. The training for a nurse is not as brutally time consuming and intense as it is for dental/medical school, so that would make it more tolerable for you, while still allowing you to make a comfortable amount of money (and then after your dad paid for your BSN, you could just go back to school to do what you really wanted...whereas I seriously doubt you'll have the energy or motivation left to go back to school for something else after finishing med school).
You could tell him how much money CRNAs (nurses with advanced training who are involved in delivering anesthesia) make to help entice him into accepting that plan.
I am a physician, and I truly do not recommend going to medical school if you don't have a genuine passion for it. When you have to spend years after graduating med school paying back huge student loans, you'll realize that the money alone is NOT a good reason to do it.

 

[Longshanks]

Quick solution:

Man up, grow a set, and prove to your father that you're a man and can stand for yourself and make your own life decisions. Don't go into this half-ass or just for the money, and by the look of it you couldn't make it past the first cut anyway of the application process.

If this is a troll, I give you props for getting a thread to last this long. Seriously though, you owe it to yourself to stand your ground and make your own choices in life, otherwise people will be walking over you every day and you'll be so busy trying to please everyone else that you'll miss on on enjoying life and making yourself happy.

 

[Ilovewater]

Um, if you don't have the desire to be a doctor yourself, you won't have the motivation to study and take the MCAT and go through the whole application process!

And seriously, grow up! Get a job and support yourself. Many other people have done it, and they obviously have made it through.... I really don't see how you don't have a choice.

 

[TopSecret]

Um, if you don't have the desire to be a doctor yourself, you won't have the motivation to study and take the MCAT and go through the whole application process!

And seriously, grow up! Get a job and support yourself. Many other people have done it, and they obviously have made it through.... I really don't see how you don't have a choice.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gqwi7Y96sk[/YOUTUBE]

 

[futureboy]

"Originally Posted by loveoforganic: That's not true at all. I've masturbated everyday for the past 20 years, and it's still pretty awesome!"

"Do you do it for ten hours a day, 5-6 days a week?"

Loveoforganic, please, please don't answer this question--we don't want to know...

 

[DeadliestSnatch]

This thread is ridiculous.

Take out student loans like everybody else. Problem solved. The end.

 

[loveoforganic]

Do you do it for ten hours a day, 5-6 days a week?

Don't underestimate me.

sorry futureboy. I left as much to the imagination as possible.

 

[ThirdEye]

The beauty about college is you can follow any degree plan, even English, and still be pre-med. The beauty about situations like yours, when someone is trying to manipulate you, is that you can lie to them and not feel guilty.

 

[MagicDrumSticks]

You know, I slept on this and had to come back and post again. This deal with parents forcing their children to do something with their life they don't want to do is pretty pathetic.

I became a cop almost straight out of high school because I enjoyed the law field. However, my mother was a prosecutor and has been an attorney for a number of years, and I couldn't see myself being content 'inside' the court rooms all the time. I wanted to be in the excitement of it all. So, I became a cop, founded a couple businesses to help prop up the low income, and started working day in and day out.

However, it wasn't long before I realized that there were a lot of people out there doing a lot less work than me and living a lot better life. I started to think about how I had pissed away the prospect of going to college after high school just to fulfill a quick enjoyment.

However, I did learn something that most parents don't allow their kids to learn. I learned what it's like to have debt, to provide for others, to work rotating shifts, to put up with society's destitute, and ultimately what it's like in the 'real world.' In the end, I don't regret doing what I did, because it made me have much more respect for the opportunities that a good education can award you.

Your dad forcing you into this isn't going to help your life. In fact, judging by your performance the first year of college, he's hurting you more than he's helping you. Had he injected this idea into your mind and allowed YOU to decide if you wanted to do it... you may very well have. You'd possess that passion that's required to pursue any field of study.

So, with all that said, I must tell you what I would do. I would tell him to keep his money. There are millions of adults - young and old - in this country who go to school on their own. It's not the path of least resistance between point A and point B but it's definitely achievable. Don't let him strong-arm you into a field of study that you genuinely have no interest in.

Tell him that you appreciate him wanting you to succeed in life but you're not happy with where things are going. Ask his good graces to allow you to pursue a different major and if he tells you no... tell him that's fine... you'll take out the loans you need and work to provide what those loans won't.

Just my two cents.

Hey thanks. But my biggest fear (and also the reason why I haven't gone completely mad) is the fear of not making enough money and having to work the same boring job the rest of my life. That's what my father is always telling me.

"Either you work hard for these 8 years and then you will have it [relatively] easy, or you can take it easy now, and work the rest of your life"

The more I think about that, the more it seems true, how many "common" jobs pay more than 50k? I want money because I don't want to grow up how I did when I was younger. (My parents were seperated and I lived with my mom, who made a very low <30k income.

 

[MagicDrumSticks]

Your dad sounds old school enough that I don't know if he would be satisfied with this idea, but if you really feel like you have to pick a healthcare career then nursing might be a good option to think about. The training for a nurse is not as brutally time consuming and intense as it is for dental/medical school, so that would make it more tolerable for you, while still allowing you to make a comfortable amount of money (and then after your dad paid for your BSN, you could just go back to school to do what you really wanted...whereas I seriously doubt you'll have the energy or motivation left to go back to school for something else after finishing med school).
You could tell him how much money CRNAs (nurses with advanced training who are involved in delivering anesthesia) make to help entice him into accepting that plan.
I am a physician, and I truly do not recommend going to medical school if you don't have a genuine passion for it. When you have to spend years after graduating med school paying back huge student loans, you'll realize that the money alone is NOT a good reason to do it.

Hmm, well how difficult is it to get into a CRNA program? Because if I don't get in, I'd be stuck as a nurse

 

[vickpick]

ur in some deep shii bro...

my parents want me to be an engineer so that i start earning earlier, lol..

and here I am trying to be a doc.. well, since I said I wanna be a doctor, they're like u're not smart and they tell me to study for the MCAT - which I wont start until next year.. haha.. Indian parents can never leave their kids alone, even after their death will they haunt with their teachings..

 

[FuturaDocta]

Hmm, well how difficult is it to get into a CRNA program? Because if I don't get in, I'd be stuck as a nurse

Even nursing school is getting competitive in most places. I don't know many professional schools that are just a walk in the park to get into. Plus, being a nurse is a lot different than being a doctor as far as who decides the treatments. You should go into it for the right reasons. Otherwise, I think you should do more research.

 

[FuturaDocta]

Don't underestimate me.

sorry futureboy. I left as much to the imagination as possible.

Yah, they were kinda insulting with the lack of hours. Tsk tsk. I knew you were capable of sooo much more.

Ok. I am done now.

 

[TopSecret]

This thread is ridiculous.

Take out student loans like everybody else. Problem solved. The end.

Some people have really strict parents and don't want to be disowned. You don't know how it is in some families.

 

[jonessoda]

If it is seriously a case of pre-med or no college at all, and you definitely don't want to go to med school, this is probably the best advice you'll get this thread: sabotage yourself.

Major in what you like, taking the pre-med prereqs. If your dad pitches a fit, show him some stats; I remember reading somewhere that english majors have a higher percentage of acceptance than biology or chemistry majors, so long as they have the necessary coursework, so he shouldn't be able to complain about that. Keep your GPA up, so you can go into whatever field you like unhindered. Plus, this way, if you decide you do want to do medicine, you'll have the background.

Don't do any ECs unless you want to do them for personal reasons or he forces you.

Bomb the MCAT. If he makes you take it again, bomb it again. "Gee, dad, I guess I just don't test well or something." Make sure it's all on his dime, of course; I don't think even the most hardcore Mr. Vicarious would want to keep shelling out $225 each time for failure. Don't be obvious with something like a 3J, aim for something like a 26M.

On your AMCAS, be totally honest about why you're applying in the essay: because your father wants you to be a doctor. Even though you don't. Same with secondaries.

If you manage to get an interview after all that, show up late, be curt and disinterested, dress sloppy and maintain stubble and messy hair, and be totally honest with the interviewer about your father pushing you.

If you somehow end up with an offer, you'd better just accept, because it'd be obvious that god and all his angels want you to become a doctor, too.

In the MUCH more likely scenario that med schools don't want anything to do with you, go ahead and graduate with your bachelor's, tell dad thanks for the education, too bad the whole med school thing didn't work out, and live your life. If, after that, he's still pushing you, you may have to cut him out of your life.

Be warned, however, that following the above path will probably make things VERY hard for you if you decide to go to med school after all a couple years after graduation.

 

[MagicDrumSticks]

Even nursing school is getting competitive in most places. I don't know many professional schools that are just a walk in the park to get into. Plus, being a nurse is a lot different than being a doctor as far as who decides the treatments. You should go into it for the right reasons. Otherwise, I think you should do more research.

I'm not asking for a walk in the park, but I don't want a 15 mile marathon either. I'll run as much as I can.

 

[Abdullaah]

I obviously don't know how your dad is, but I think you should give it a few days. I don't remember if you said your parents were separated and got back together or if they're still separated, but if they're together ask your mom to intervene, if not, ask siblings. If that's not an option.. well read the other posts.. I just wanted to add: give it time.

 

[MagicDrumSticks]

I obviously don't know how your dad is, but I think you should give it a few days. I don't remember if you said your parents were separated and got back together or if they're still separated, but if they're together ask your mom to intervene, if not, ask siblings. If that's not an option.. well read the other posts.. I just wanted to add: give it time.

I've given it time since childhood. The thing that bugs me the most is that he cares about money AND the prestiege. When his friends ask me what I want to do, I tell them im not sure but I'm leaning somewhere in health care. He always laughs at off at this point "haha such a joker, he wants to be a doctor ofcourse, nothing else"

Makes me want to choke the life out of him

 

[musafirah]

sorry if anything i say is a repeat but i didn't read the entire thread..
but, if you like electronics, how about biomedical engineering? there's also radiology technicians. if you like physics there's medical physics MS- they work at hospitals and its pretty much like being a technician. starting salaries 80k.

seriously, go into medical technology/equipment, it sounds like what you would like.

my back-up plan if i dont get in- biomed eng or getting certified to become a prosthetist. you could look into that as well.


also, no one ever helped me pay for school and its really doable.. why do you say that working is not an option for you? i dont understand

 

[TopSecret]

I've given it time since childhood. The thing that bugs me the most is that he cares about money AND the prestiege. When his friends ask me what I want to do, I tell them im not sure but I'm leaning somewhere in health care. He always laughs at off at this point "haha such a joker, he wants to be a doctor ofcourse, nothing else"

Makes me want to choke the life out of him

Money and prestige are not good reasons to enter medicine because when you're done with school there won't be any of those left.

 

[mipp0]

Dear OP,

If you are not passionately in love with Medicine, you should stay as far away from it as you can. I have some buddies in Med school. They are incredibly bright--real shakers and movers. They went to top tier med schools and will most likely be great doctors.

But honestly, they HATE their lives. Seriously bro, they are battling with serious depression. Almost suicide status. They are burned out. They don't want to be where they are, and they wish they had not listened to mommy and daddy, but rather do something else they are actually passionate about. ANYTHING ELSE. Just not medicine.

Just imagine yourself ten years from now, on the med track, still in school, and wanting to blow your brains out because you're miserable. Well that's where they're at. Do yourself a favor and SAVE YOURSELF NOW.

The smart money's on Dentistry. You make good money, have a relatively easy schedule, and have the time to do whatever you want. Plus you get the prestige.

But I'd say screw that too. Look inward, and ask yourself--What makes you happy? College is the time for personal growth, and you don't have to choose a major or career path immediately.

Money and prestige are overrated. Unless you can't afford health insurance. Health insurance isn't overrated

 

[LuciusVorenus]

I'm going to agree with some of the previous posters, if you don't know what you want to do/don't want to do something but are good in math/technology type classes, just major in BME. The way most BME courses are structured, you'll be taking all the premed classes (so you can satisfy your father) and a lot of the courses required for nursing/dentistry (if that's what you want to do), and if you decide you love engineering instead you could always "be rejected" from nursing/medicine and get a masters in literally ANY field of engineering. The good thing about BME is it has applciations in pretty much all fields, so you could go on to do chemical/electrical/mechanical masters and phds or even start a career straight out of undergrad. BME won't be a cake walk, but the options it leaves you are definitely worth the hard work in the long run. Besides, if your dad is Indian, I'm sure he won't mind you being an engineer vs. a doctor.

The only problem I see with that route is transferring into an engineering program. You'll need to get your GPA up and just explain to admissions/the department that you made the wrong choice initially by deciding on the bio/chem route and would be much more successful in the math/physics route.

 

[musafirah]

at my school, for BME you don't even have to transfer for the college of eng.. if you're not in the college of engineering, you just have to major in a science and take a couple of intro engineering classes, and then after bachelors you go into the BME masters program.

 

[azrael87]

It's as many others have said, there are many routes to getting through college without your parents paying. Do some serious research on loans and such. The option of going through pre-med as a non-bio major, just taking the pre-reqs is good too.

Also if what you've told us about yourself is accurate, have you tried pointing out to your father that try as you might, you're probably not going to be able to get into medical school? The physical sciences portion (one third) of the MCAT requires being able to manipulate math with ease without the aid of a calculator. If people who actually want to go to med school are trying as hard as they can and still failing, how exactly does he expect you to make it when you have less than a 3.0 GPA during the easiest classes your going to have? I'm not trying to insult you here, but as of now you're not cut out to be a doctor even if you wanted to. You need to show him the stats. Numbers don't lie.

Posting a thread like this is pointless if you don't bother to take to heart any of the great advice that's been given. The time you're spending on self-pity should be spent exploring your options.

 

[DeadliestSnatch]

Some people have really strict parents and don't want to be disowned. You don't know how it is in some families.

Bull****. I know exactly how it is. My best friend of 6 years was Indian. He chose pharm school over what he really wanted to do. Which is one of many reasons why he's not my friend anymore. I lost all respect for him.

What it comes down is choosing your own path. Frankly, if you're too scared to do what you want because you don't want to be disowned by your family, I think you're a wimp and your life is going to be pretty pathetic. If your family is willing to disown you for choosing your own career, why the f!ck would you care if they disown you anyway?

Sorry, but I just don't feel any sympathy for the OP. There are people out there who truly can't pursue their dreams; because they live in poverty, have poor health, have children, etc. So when you have the chance to do what you want with your life and you don't do it because you're scared of what big bad daddy might think of you? Sorry, that just makes you a tool.

 

[adeline]

Sorry, but I just don't feel any sympathy for the OP. There are people out there who truly can't pursue their dreams; because they live in poverty, have poor health, have children, etc. So when you have the chance to do what you want with your life and you don't do it because you're scared of what big bad daddy might think of you? Sorry, that just makes you a tool.

Agreed.

 

[Bildo]

Pick another major you like, tell father that the major will show medschools breadth and depth of interests, and pursue that while making a show of doing premed requirements and having him pay for it.

Then, get recs/G.R.E, fellowships, whatever in the other major, get into gradschool or job after school, and be like : Yup, too late padre.

 

[futureboy]

The problem for the OP is that many loans are need based. Dad's income and assets are used for financial aid eligibility, regardless of whether or not he's actually paying...

 

[bertbacharat]

@futureboy

There are always loans available. Regardless of finances either rich or poor. Gradplus loans for one.

 

[adeline]

The problem for the OP is that many loans are need based. Dad's income and assets are used for financial aid eligibility, regardless of whether or not he's actually paying...

You can have exceptions granted.

 

[imer]

...

 

[TopSecret]

Some Indian families have pre-arranged marriages for their sons. I know someone who got hooked up this way.

There is a great degree of parental control in these families. It's cultural.

 

[casillas]

Okay. You ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. But, your choice may not be the easiest route. You will NOT be the only person out there who has paid for their education through student loans. You will NOT be the only person out there who has chosen a career path besides that which their parents desired. You will NOT be alone in this, and there is a way.

If you are being "forced" into medicine, then it isn't for you. Read this forum, and see for yourself how hard some of us are fighting for the opportunity to serve others and to become physicians. This is what we want - regardless of what our parents want.

Find out for yourself what you want to do with YOUR life. Make your parents proud by living a full and happy life. It may not be an easy decision to make, but YOU ultimately are making it (whether you CHOOSE to follow your parents' wishes or your own).

It's all a choice. Make it a good one.

I totally agree with this. to the OP, you only have one life to live and weather or not your parents agree it is your life. One day they will be dead and you will be left with a career that makes you dread waking up in the morning.

 

[futureboy]

@futureboy

There are always loans available. Regardless of finances either rich or poor. Gradplus loans for one.

Gradplus loans available to undergrads? In any event, while there may be loans available, ot may be a bit more difficult. When I was in school, I had some issues because my parents weren't able to pay the expected "family contribution" calculated by the financial aid office. It was quite a few years ago, though...

 

[DeadliestSnatch]

Gradplus loans available to undergrads? In any event, while there may be loans available, ot may be a bit more difficult. When I was in school, I had some issues because my parents weren't able to pay the expected "family contribution" calculated by the financial aid office. It was quite a few years ago, though...

The OP would have to take out private loans---like through a bank or Sallie Mae or wherever else middle-class people get their student loans. I'm poor so I have all of my grants/loans from the goverment, but most middle class people don't have tens of thousands of dollars a year sitting around to pay for college, so they take out private loans. They're not need-based. Anyone can get private student loans assuming they don't have bad credit. The OP might need someone to co-sign, but I'm sure he could find someone if he really wanted to.

In any event, the OP can find a way to pay for school on his own and do what he wants with his life. He just won't.

 

[LuciusVorenus]

The OP would have to take out private loans---like through a bank or Sallie Mae or wherever else middle-class people get their student loans. I'm poor so I have all of my grants/loans from the goverment, but most middle class people don't have tens of thousands of dollars a year sitting around to pay for college, so they take out private loans. They're not need-based. Anyone can get private student loans assuming they don't have bad credit. The OP might need someone to co-sign, but I'm sure he could find someone if he really wanted to.

In any event, the OP can find a way to pay for school on his own and do what he wants with his life. He just won't.

I'm not THAT familiar with the FAFSA, but if you've been "disowned" by your parent aren't you then regarded as an independent student instead of a dependent one. And when you're considered independent don't they stop taking familial income into consideration? At least that's what I've heard. If it's true, then citizen+independent=lots of loans/grants

 

[LuciusVorenus]

Some Indian families have pre-arranged marriages for their sons. I know someone who got hooked up this way.

There is a great degree of parental control in these families. It's cultural.

I have one
and I'm not even Indian

 

[MagicDrumSticks]

Hmm you know guys, I was thinking about this earlier, someone please help me answer it.

Ok so, since my dad has been such an ******* to me since childhood, saying Doctor this and Doctor that. Maybe I DO like it but just don't want to do it because I don't want to make HIM win. So? What do I do about that?

 

[LuciusVorenus]

Hmm you know guys, I was thinking about this earlier, someone please help me answer it.

Ok so, since my dad has been such an ******* to me since childhood, saying Doctor this and Doctor that. Maybe I DO like it but just don't want to do it because I don't want to make HIM win. So? What do I do about that?

If that is the case, then telling him that MIGHT make him leave you alone (since he wants you to be a doctor so bad).

"LEAVE ME ALONE YOU'RE MAKING ME HATE MEDICINE I'LL NEVER BE A DOCTOR AT THIS RATE IF YOU DON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT ARGHHHHHHH"

/tantrum

 

[MagicDrumSticks]

If that is the case, then telling him that MIGHT make him leave you alone (since he wants you to be a doctor so bad).

"LEAVE ME ALONE YOU'RE MAKING ME HATE MEDICINE I'LL NEVER BE A DOCTOR AT THIS RATE IF YOU DON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT ARGHHHHHHH"

/tantrum

Well I tried that, didn't go that well ^_^

His response: *Furious* Don't EVER tell me that again, if you don't want to learn then be a janitor for all I care. (I like how he goes straight from doctor to janitor lol) I'm telling you this for YOUR life, I have all the money I need and I won't need any of yours.

Clearly he's not telling me this for my life, he will never admit it but he just wants me to do it for the status and cash. I even recall him saying once that "Everyone does it for the money, nobody wants to admit it"

Yeah right, so I suppose highschool teachers are in it for the money too ^_^