Dating atmosphere in med school?

[deleted500612]

Questions to men on this forum: do you actually value your relationships (anything from casual dating to more long term arrangements) with women? I ask because I have come to the realization that none of my dating in earnest hasn't amounted to much. I have been dating quite a bit in New York City (maybe 20 or so women) and I have only managed to get past a two dates with 3 women. Prior to coming here for medical school, I couldn't convince any women to date me at all. None of the women I have dated have brought anything useful or amazing into my life; they have just acted like parasites for meals, tickets to events, etc.. Sex is the only thing that any of the women I have dated have brought to the table and I realize that I could have probably saved money just by relegating that to prostitutes.

I have promised myself to not date till boards are over, but the voice in my head is telling me to forgo dating forever because of my past experiences. What do you guys think? I know quite a few of my classmates are either married or have long term girlfriends/fiancees; do you feel that your significant other has made your life better and augmented your ability to perform?

If you have gone on dates with 20 women and still have failed to make it past a couple dates with any of them it really makes one wonder whether the problem is with the women (as you state), or if it is in fact with you... when you are of the opinion that women bring nothing to the table except their ability to have sex, it is no wonder you dont make it past the second date and are unable to convince any women of true quality to go out with you. Your post does a pretty poor job of veiling your underlying chauvinistic attitude, which in all honestly is a lot more likely to be the underlying cause of your struggle to find a meaningful relationship than your assertion that the 20 women you've met all just happen to be "useless parasites".

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[PL198]

hormone replacement? yikes I thought cougars were like 35

 

[Winged Scapula]

hormone replacement? yikes I thought cougars were like 35

The "classic" cougar is 40 but still a little young for HRT.

I'll admit to the spray tan and vodka but no bra? Everyone knows Cougars wear age defying push up bras.

 

[Eokpar02]

You're probably in your early-mid twenties, and most people are still in the high school/college way of viewing relationships (basically a way to get your sexual, social, and emotional needs met in a socially acceptable manner and choosing partners on superficial grounds). Also many women and men in our society still see relationships and dating as just a game, not really caring about hurting the other person. The reason most of these women probably aren't calling back/interested is because they probably have 20-30 other dudes that are blowing up their phone and want them. That said, by forgoing finding someone now, you run the risk of running into women that wouldn't have even said hi to you before and are only interested in you due to your job title and salary. Although the fact that you said no women would date you prior may mean that's kind of happening now.

I appreciate your thoughts.

 

[Eokpar02]

If you have gone on dates with 20 women and still have failed to make it past a couple dates with any of them it really makes one wonder whether the problem is with the women (as you state), or if it is in fact with you... when you are of the opinion that women bring nothing to the table except their ability to have sex, it is no wonder you dont make it past the second date and are unable to convince any women of true quality to go out with you. Your post does a pretty poor job of veiling your underlying chauvinistic attitude, which in all honestly is a lot more likely to be the underlying cause of your struggle to find a meaningful relationship than your assertion that the 20 women you've met all just happen to be "useless parasites".

I think reading comprehension is your weakness. I didn't say I couldn't get past a few dates with any of them and I didn't say whether or not it was their decision to stop dating. I stay steadfast in my impression that women have not added any value besides relieving some carnal desire. This is just my opinion so there is nary any point discussing why I feel this way.

How do I have a chauvinistic attitude? I never said that men are superior to women.

 

[Kaustikos]

The "classic" cougar is 40 but still a little young for HRT.

I'll admit to the spray tan and vodka but no bra? Everyone knows Cougars wear age defying push up bras.

I used that as a search filter on cougarlife.com and it didn't narrow my results.

 

[PL198]

spray tan? come on now

 

[VisionaryTics]

Question: Do the mods actively try to read as many threads as possible, or do they just read what interests them and rely on posters to report infractions?

 

[Narmerguy]

Question: Do the mods actively try to read as many threads as possible, or do they just read what interests them and rely on posters to report infractions?

Varies by mod, though there is an expectation of a general level of activity such that the mods are up to date on the various users, problems, and "culture" within their forum(s). It certainly helps to have interesting threads (and mods with different backgrounds).

 

[Kaustikos]

Question: Do the mods actively try to read as many threads as possible, or do they just read what interests them and rely on posters to report infractions?

There's a required intern year of moderating pre-allo. If you survive that, then you can do hSDN.

 

[ThatOneGuy1914]

Most people in med school seem to have someone already. A good portion of my class is actually married or in serious relationships. If you don't have someone coming into school and you haven't hooked up with someone by the end of the first semester, chances are that you probably won't get a date/SO while in medical school. For most men that's probably a good thing since you could use most of your 30s while you're an attending dating women that wouldn't have looked at you twice before you became a doctor. For most women that's probably a horrifying though, but they did tell us we'd make sacrifices in medicine.

Unless you look like a troll or are completely anti-social, I HIGHLY doubt this will be the case. In fact, even if you did look like a troll and are a woman, go to any college bar and I guarantee you will get hit on at least once. Worst comes to worst, Tinder it up.

 

[Kaustikos]

Unless you look like a troll or are completely anti-social, I HIGHLY doubt this will be the case. In fact, even if you did look like a troll and are a woman, go to any college bar and I guarantee you will get hit on at least once. Worst comes to worst, Tinder it up.

You think tinder is worse than college town bar hopping?

 

[ThatOneGuy1914]

You think tinder is worse than college town bar hopping?

Eh, I guess it's all about personal prospective. You can get a whole mix of people at a college bar, some nice some slop. I have friends with some hilarious stories off Tinder, and I'd definitely say if you're just trying to hook up, Tinder is always a safe bet. It wouldn't be my first go to, but I also don't have a problem with meeting women.

 

[fancymylotus]

I think reading comprehension is your weakness. I didn't say I couldn't get past a few dates with any of them and I didn't say whether or not it was their decision to stop dating. I stay steadfast in my impression that women have not added any value besides relieving some carnal desire. This is just my opinion so there is nary any point discussing why I feel this way.

How do I have a chauvinistic attitude? I never said that men are superior to women.

Women have no added value besides relieving some carnal desire? Wtf did I just read

 

[PL198]

There's a required intern year of moderating pre-allo. If you survive that, then you can do hSDN.

whoever can moderate either of those without blowing their brains out is a hero

 

[charmiedermie]

I stay steadfast in my impression that women have not added any value besides relieving some carnal desire.

How do I have a chauvinistic attitude? I never said that men are superior to women.

Excuse me?? Women have no additional value, except for you to have sex with? Yeah not chauvinistic at all. I think this attitude might contribute to your relationship problem.

 

[Eokpar02]

Women have no added value besides relieving some carnal desire? Wtf did I just read

Again, the reading comprehension is lacking! I am talking about in regards to dating. I am not talking about women in general.

Excuse me?? Women have no additional value, except for you to have sex with? Yeah not chauvinistic at all. I think this attitude might contribute to your relationship problem.

The reading comprehension is so poor on this forum. It is like I am dealing with elementary school students. I am talking about in regards to my past relationships! I am not saying in general. How is that hard to understand? I am not saying that women writ large are only valuable in regards to their sexual abilities. When did they stop teaching reading comprehension in school?

 

[ThatOneGuy1914]

Again, the reading comprehension is lacking! I am talking about in regards to dating. I am not talking about women in general.



The reading comprehension is so poor on this forum. It is like I am dealing with elementary school students. I am talking about in regards to my past relationships! I am not saying in general. How is that hard to understand? I am not saying that women writ large are only valuable in regards to their sexual abilities. When did they stop teaching reading comprehension in school?

*shots fired*

 

[charmiedermie]

Again, the reading comprehension is lacking! I am talking about in regards to dating. I am not talking about women in general.

The reading comprehension is so poor on this forum. It is like I am dealing with elementary school students. I am talking about in regards to my past relationships! I am not saying in general. How is that hard to understand? I am not saying that women writ large are only valuable in regards to their sexual abilities. When did they stop teaching reading comprehension in school?

Your disclaimer of only referring to women in your past relationships doesn't at all change what I said. It's not a reading comprehension problem.

 

[Eokpar02]

Your disclaimer of only referring to women in your past relationships doesn't at all change what I said. It's not a reading comprehension problem.

Ok, dully noted.

 

[touchpause13]

Again, the reading comprehension is lacking! I am talking about in regards to dating. I am not talking about women in general.



The reading comprehension is so poor on this forum. It is like I am dealing with elementary school students. I am talking about in regards to my past relationships! I am not saying in general. How is that hard to understand? I am not saying that women writ large are only valuable in regards to their sexual abilities. When did they stop teaching reading comprehension in school?

That doesn't make it better. ...

 

[charmiedermie]

That doesn't make it better. ...

Agreed. Its a copout. No woman's value is solely limited to her ability to "relieve some carnal desire." And that includes women who turn to prostitution.

 

[fancymylotus]

Agreed. Its a copout. No woman's value is solely limited to her ability to "relieve some carnal desire." And that includes women who turn to prostitution.

I happily relieve carnal desires for my significant other. But I have many other abilities. Like yanking out teeth, buying shooz, etc.

 

[charmiedermie]

I happily relieve carnal desires for my significant other. But I have many other abilities. Like yanking out teeth, buying shooz, etc.

If as a guy you've dated 20 or so women and you've only managed to get past 2 dates with 3 women then something is likely wrong with how you are approaching things. Oh and saying you would have probably saved money by patronizing prostitutes doesn't help either. Both people are supposed to bring something "useful and amazing" the relationship.

 

[Kaustikos]

Again, the reading comprehension is lacking! I am talking about in regards to dating. I am not talking about women in general.



The reading comprehension is so poor on this forum. It is like I am dealing with elementary school students. I am talking about in regards to my past relationships! I am not saying in general. How is that hard to understand? I am not saying that women writ large are only valuable in regards to their sexual abilities. When did they stop teaching reading comprehension in school?

These comments are sponsored in part by:
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The makers of the "Ban" button
Trolleo's

 

[Kaustikos]

Agreed. Its a copout. No woman's value is solely limited to her ability to "relieve some carnal desire." And that includes women who turn to prostitution.

Running in heels?

 

[deleted500612]

I think reading comprehension is your weakness. I didn't say I couldn't get past a few dates with any of them and I didn't say whether or not it was their decision to stop dating.

Perhaps articulate writing is not your strong suit. When you say "I have only managed to get past 2 dates with 2 or 3 women" followed by "Prior to coming to medical school, I couldn't convince any women to date me at all" that seems to state outright that it was their decision to not date you. Yet I am the one who lacks reading comprehension? lol. Your current post is nothing but a clear attempt to back pedal now that you've made yourself look rather bad.

The reading comprehension is so poor on this forum. It is like I am dealing with elementary school students. I am talking about in regards to my past relationships! I am not saying in general. How is that hard to understand? I am not saying that women writ large are only valuable in regards to their sexual abilities. When did they stop teaching reading comprehension in school?

The reading comprehension on this forum is fine, it's your comments that are lacking. The fact that you have gone on dates with over TWENTY women and you claim not a single one has achieved anything beyond satisfying your "carnal desires" and being an all around "useless parasite", strongly implies that you feel this way towards women in general.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Question: Do the mods actively try to read as many threads as possible, or do they just read what interests them and rely on posters to report infractions?

It does vary between staff members but I would venture that most actively moderate the forum they are assigned to with checking in on others as time and interest allows.

I tend to meander all over the site (Cougars have wide hunting ranges) but I think it's obvious which areas interest me the most.

 

[Winged Scapula]

spray tan? come on now

It's nice for special occasions when my natural skin tone is a bit too pale. If it's done well, and it often isn't, it can look nice and natural without the orange color that many celebrities seem to favor when they try to go to dark for their skin tone.

 

[fancymylotus]

It's nice for special occasions when my natural skin tone is a bit too pale. If it's done well, and it often isn't, it can look nice and natural without the orange color that many celebrities seem to favor when they try to go to dark for their skin tone.

Here have some of my melanin. I have extra!

 

[Winged Scapula]

Here have some of my melanin. I have extra!

Deal.

I'll give you some of my natural blonde for your natural melanin!

 

[fancymylotus]

Deal.

I'll give you some of my natural blonde for your natural melanin!

YAS

can I have some of your surgeon monies too plz? for my SHOOZ

 

[Winged Scapula]

YAS

can I have some of your surgeon monies too plz? for my SHOOZ

Look at my new purple Manolos!

 

[fancymylotus]

Deal.

I'll give you some of my natural blonde for your natural melanin!

Also look what I did. Bc permanent pink hair dye is so professional! (dad had a fit. IDGAF)

 

[fancymylotus]

View attachment 189412

Look at my new purple Manolos!

Have you seen the new rockstuds?! Valentino came out with like 14 shades of pink for spring. No joke.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Have you seen the new rockstuds?! Valentino came out with like 14 shades of pink for spring. No joke.

I've seen, I've seen. Not a big fan of rock stud but the pink...

 

[Winged Scapula]

Also look what I did. Bc permanent pink hair dye is so professional! (dad had a fit. IDGAF)

View attachment 189413

I saw in The Lounge pic thread. Very cute.

 

[fancymylotus]

I've seen, I've seen. Not a big fan of rock stud but the pink...

Kaus said the same thing. "Are you trying to join a motorcycle gang with those studs???"

 

[Psai]

View attachment 189412

Look at my new purple Manolos!

That's a fancy wire, not a shoe

 

[fancymylotus]

That's a fancy wire, not a shoe

And these are lethal weapons, right?

 

[Red Lobster Actual]

Valentino came out with like 14 shades of pink for spring. No joke.

Is Valentino's next line going to have 50 shades of grey for the winter?

 

[PL198]

Is Valentino's next line going to have 50 shades of grey for the winter?

you are a blue turtle, not a red lobster

 

[Red Lobster Actual]

you are a blue turtle, not a red lobster

Ah...well it was either squirtle or zoidberg...

I went with squirtle.

 

[Winged Scapula]

That's a fancy wire, not a shoe

Wire? Hmpf!

Only the finest purple Italian cows.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Since the boys are letting us post shoes: check out my blue suede Choos (get it? LOL)...

 

[fancymylotus]

These were my D4 formal shooz. Fully aware of how obnoxious they are, whateva

 

[Psai]

Elvis Presley would roll over in his grave if he knew about what a mockery you've made of a classic

 

[Winged Scapula]

Elvis Presley would roll over in his grave if he knew about what a mockery you've made of a classic

But Elvis LIVES!!

 

[famoussquamous]

Unless you look like a troll or are completely anti-social, I HIGHLY doubt this will be the case. In fact, even if you did look like a troll and are a woman, go to any college bar and I guarantee you will get hit on at least once. Worst comes to worst, Tinder it up.

Eh not true. If you can't find someone in your medical school class, go to a med school that either isn't attached to the ugrad campus or is in a smallish town/non-single friendly town, then it probably isn't gonna happen! Most people that have someone got them before coming to school. Relying on your MD to get you a relationship will have you getting into your first serious relationship in your 30s, especially if you're a male

Also tinder is fine for casual fun but awful for finding a serious relationship. I caution anyone that has had trouble with the opposite sex before going to med school to just stay single. You missed the time when relationships were just about "fun" (16-25) and you'll be so swarmed with gold diggers and social climbers that sorting out the good from the bad would be draining.

Plus when I think about it, being married as a doctor is probably a drag. Have higher divorce rates, higher chance of kids acting out cause you aren't around, wife likely to cheat on you cause she got "lonely", etc. if you are a woman being a doc is probably worse cause the only guys you can take seriously are other people in that same "success-sphere", knocking out 99% of potential suitors as choices.

 

[chasm-e-baddoor]

being married is probably a drag.

fixed it for you