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[edgydoc]

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[Ihave Nonamè]

My grandfather passed just 1.5 weeks ago as well (not from covid). My grandmother passed a couple years earlier, also while I was in school. They were my guardians for quite a while when I was younger so I was relatively close with them. Following the death of a loved one, it feels so unfair the way that time just keeps on...

The answer is to take this next week to mourn. Spend time with your family who knew her best, and talk about it. Share photos and stories. Mourning won't necessarily end past one week but it will be easier to return after you've given yourself some time to recover.

One week off won't ruin your MCAT.

 

[deleted1054719]

I'm having a very hard dealing with my grief because on one hand I know I can't just shut down

This isn't true. You have the right to shut down and take time to process. You deserve that for yourself. I'm deeply sorry for your loss and wish you all the best. The MCAT can wait and even if it couldn't, you won't be studying at your best anyways so what's the point? Spend however long you need to with your family whether that's a week, a month, a year, or more. Come back when you're ready - medicine will still be here waiting for you. You banked that year saved on your bachelors for a rainy day and now is that rainy day. You have time!

 

[Rachapkis]

The death of a close family member is a traumatic event. Give yourself the time you need to grieve—whether that is a week, a month or longer. The key to getting into medical school is sustained excellence, showing that you have the necessary experience to understand what you are getting into, and the desire to serve—it is not a race. Looking backward, you will not regret time spent with your family or yourself coming to terms with your loss and reminiscing about your grandmother. You may, however, regret studying for and taking the MCAT while you are only half there. In the grand scheme of things, applying one cycle later may prove to be a blessing.

 

[M&L]

Hello all,

My grandmother was hospitalized for almost 2 months in the ICU with Covid-19/pneumonia and throughout her stay, it was like a roller coster in terms of emotions. However, yesterday she rapidly declined and my family and I made the tough decision to end her care to allow her to pass away peacefully. I also just began studying for the MCAT, but I have no interest or motivation to continue studying for a long time because of my grandmother's death. She was incredibly proud of me for not only following my dreams to be a doctor but also because of the fact that this coming spring, I will be graduating 1 year early with my bachelor's degree. Because of this, I know she wouldn't want me to stop or give up and it's not like I've lost my passion for medicine, but it's hard to keep going when it feels like you're world is falling apart around you.

All this to say, I'm having a very hard dealing with my grief because on one hand I know I can't just shut down but on the other hand, I feel I deserve the right to properly grieve. I'm hoping for advice, maybe from someone who has been in a similar position, on how to get my head back in the game. Thank you.

My brother died tragically in the middle of the fall semester when I was taking organic 2, biochem , working full time, and prepping for Mcat to take in January . It was so hard . I couldn’t even go to the funeral ... at first it was hard to study for mcat, but then I realized that weirdly it helped me because those few hours I was studying I forgot about everything . So I found escape in my Mcat prep .
I think the worst was the mental conflict - “am I a horrible person for being able to studying after a tragedy ?”. I felt guilty any time I was smiling , any time I was studying . My brain told me that only feeling sad was ok . But then I decided that it’s ok . I am allowed to study . This had been my dream for a very long time, and it had nothing to do with his death, so I am “allowed” to pursue it .

 

[M&L]

I would encourage you to take a day or two off but continue studying . At least try to . And consider not skipping a cycle . I am glad I didn’t .

 

[FluffyCat1212]

@M&L, I'm right there with you. My grandfather ended his life right at the end of my ochem 1 semester. He opted to end his life via voluntary stopping of eating and drinking, so it was a very long and turmultuous process (roughly 4 weeks from when he decided to do it to when he actually passed). He barred visitors from the very beginning, and I talked to him one last time on the phone the night before he started the protocol. I was instructed to focus on happy memories and not cry, but I lost at at "you've been a wonderful granddaughter." Spent the next few weeks thinking I had bombed my last conversation with my grandfather. During this time, I threw myself into orgo with a vengeance. I think, in a way, I was using it to distract myself.

OP, that being said, everyone handles these things differently. Take a step back and ask yourself what you need right now. If you need some time off, give yourself that. Be completely honest with yourself about the quality of your studying if you tried to do it right now. It will feel counterintuitive, but it is better to take some time off and allow yourself to grieve/heal, then push through a week of subpar studying at the expense of your emotional health. As someone who recently took the MCAT, I can tell you that few days to a week doesn't really matter that much in the long run. Take some time for yourself if you need it, and shake off those feelings of premed guilt. There are more important things in your life right now than the MCAT.

I'm so so sorry that you had to go through this. COVID is such a horrible virus. Sending love and light your way.

 

[Goro]

Hello all,

My grandmother was hospitalized for almost 2 months in the ICU with Covid-19/pneumonia and throughout her stay, it was like a roller coster in terms of emotions. However, yesterday she rapidly declined and my family and I made the tough decision to end her care to allow her to pass away peacefully. I also just began studying for the MCAT, but I have no interest or motivation to continue studying for a long time because of my grandmother's death. She was incredibly proud of me for not only following my dreams to be a doctor but also because of the fact that this coming spring, I will be graduating 1 year early with my bachelor's degree. Because of this, I know she wouldn't want me to stop or give up and it's not like I've lost my passion for medicine, but it's hard to keep going when it feels like you're world is falling apart around you.

All this to say, I'm having a very hard dealing with my grief because on one hand I know I can't just shut down but on the other hand, I feel I deserve the right to properly grieve. I'm hoping for advice, maybe from someone who has been in a similar position, on how to get my head back in the game. Thank you.

Very sorry to hear of this.

Take all the time time you need to grieve. Med schools aren't gounf anywhere, and it's critical that you do NOT take the exam when you're not at your best.