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Did you have a stay-at-home parent?

Discussion in 'General Residency Issues' started by Wifty, Jul 25, 2006.

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Did you have a stay-at-home parent for part of your life before 18?

Poll closed Aug 4, 2006.
  1. Yes

    77 vote(s)
    61.6%
  2. No

    48 vote(s)
    38.4%
  1. Wifty

    Wifty Eccentrically Silly
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    I am doing a research assignment about the increased likelihood that residents and physicians, had a stay-at-home parent for at least part of their childhood.
    I know its a bit off topic.....but this was the best way to get in contact with my target group.
    Please vote and let me know if you did or did not have a stay-at-home parent.
    Thanks!
    Wifty
     
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  3. pillowhead

    pillowhead Senior Member

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    I think you need more sub-categories. For example, my mother stayed at home until I reached middle school but then worked full time. Having a parent at home when you're six means a lot more than when you're sixteen.
     
  4. Wifty

    Wifty Eccentrically Silly
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    Good point, but for this project, I really only need to know if there was a parent at home at any time during a childs young life.
     
  5. Winged Scapula

    Winged Scapula Cougariffic!
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    Intruiging...what is your hypothesis? Would it be that people who have a stay at home parent are more likely to be well educated, successful?

    If so, remember there is a confounding factor - physicians, while they do represent the whole spectrum of socioeconomic strata, tend to come from more well-to-do families (even if the parents are not physicians themselves) and families that stress education as being important. And these are often the homes in which a parent can afford to stay home (as opposed to those in which both parents have to work simply to pay the bills).

    Anyway, just wondering...
     
  6. 3dtp

    3dtp Senior Member
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    I was shocked, shocked! To learn in filling out the UVM Med school application that I came from an economically disadvantaged home. Never occured to me before that.

    Mom stayed home.
     
  7. Faebinder

    Faebinder Slow Wave Smurf

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    Well having a father and a mother that never went to college... I can tell you socioeconomic disadvantages bite a$$. Pass the wine bottle please... +pity+
     
  8. DrMom

    DrMom Official Mom of SDN
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    My mom stayed home until I was 5. My dad was home when I was in kindergarten (he was my class' "classroom dad"). After that, my mom just worked or went to school during the school year until I was in high school. My parents were both in grad school when I was in elementary school. Mom earned her doctorate when I was in high school. Dad just got his a little while back. (she's a college professor & he's a minister...no physicians or anyone medical in my family at all)

    I stayed home until my daughter was done with 1st grade (although I did work during school hours). Now my hubby works from home very part time. We had 2 years of him working full-time (lots of help from grandparents) with me in medical school & it was much more stressful for all of us (although I miss the income).
     
  9. NonTradMed

    NonTradMed Perpetual Student

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    I'm not sure this survey is all that scientific since it's not a random sampling in the truest sense. However, so far, it seems the results do reflect national averages of SAHM/working parents (breakdown of roughly 1/3 stay home, 1/3 work pt time, 1/3 work fulltime). My personal guess would be that there's no statistical difference between residents/physicians and the general population on a parent staying at home.
     
  10. Winged Scapula

    Winged Scapula Cougariffic!
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    Will be interesting to see, although as you note, its not a random sampling.

    However, I would be willing to bet, if it were, there will be a difference, with more physicians coming from homes where 1 parent stayed home, although this is changing as more of us from "disadvantaged" homes are going to medical school. The upper class cringes!; )

    My mother stayed home until I was in high school (when my parents separated and the money was much thinner). No one in my family is remotely medical either...matter of fact, they pretty much avoid doctors!
     
  11. Wifty

    Wifty Eccentrically Silly
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    It would be interesting to actually do a real survey that was random and be able to compare it to the general population. However, for this assignment, what I was seeking was much more simple.

    Based on personal experience of my doctor and med school friends, there are more that have had a stay-at-home parent then not.....no matter the socioeconomic status. I believe that the confidence a person can gain from having a parent at home, helps them feel confident that they can become a doctor. More about values then anything. However, its not that cut-and-dry......just my tuppence of thought.
    Wifty
     
  12. Doc Oc

    Doc Oc Senior Member

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    Mom dropped out at 15. Dad finished, went to work at a factory. They married at 16 and 18 respectively, and had all 4 of us by the time they were 23 and 25. Mom stayed home until I was 8 - childcare was more expensive than her working. Nobody in the entire extended family ever went to college except myself, my older brother, and four cousins on my dad's side (there are 57 cousins).

    A little off topic...but I had a friend in med school who apparently was always "fixing" my ketchup, shampoo bottles, hershey's chocolate syrup, etc. One day, she finally asked me why everything in my fridge is upside down. (She also asked why I wash ziploc freezer bags.) I thought everybody did these things...
     
  13. NonTradMed

    NonTradMed Perpetual Student

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    You should interview more mainland Chinese households. In China, most urban women work fulltime. In the US, the pattern doesn't deviate too much. I grew up in a Chinese household, parents had tons of Chinese friends. Most were two income earners and pressured their kids into elite colleges with ideas of entering the medical profession. It has less to do with when mom was home, and more to do with cultural expectation to perform well.
     
  14. 3dtp

    3dtp Senior Member
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    You mean I'm not the only one????? :D

    My house is furnished in "contemporary scavenge" motif. Yours?
     
  15. Doc Oc

    Doc Oc Senior Member

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    LOL, at one time, definitely. During the first year of med school, nothing matched, even both end tables and the coffee table were different from eachother. My TV was on a microwave cart that I got at a yard sale for $3. That would be the only item in the livingroom that I paid for ;)
     
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  17. Both of my parents worked when I was younger (both still work now!). Neither is a physician.
     
  18. tr

    tr inert protoplasm
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    I never had a stay-at-home parent.

    For me, having two parents with engaging and satisfying careers as my role models was much better for my confidence and personal development than having a bored and frustrated SAHM hovering over me would have been.

    (Not SAHM-bashing - if you can be a SAHM and *not* feel bored and frustrated, who am I to say that would be bad for your kid? But my mom was not cut out to be a homemaker, and I like her that way. It makes for much better dinner-table conversation IMHO.)
     
  19. Vox Animo

    Vox Animo Runs with Scissors

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    Mom stayed at home till we went to school. Worked part time for awhile (family member with disabilities) and full-time for past 12 years. Both non-physicians
     
  20. Doc Oc

    Doc Oc Senior Member

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    Being a SAHM is hard. I'm a SAHM this year until I start residency. I'm much more tired and sleep-deprived than I was during any rotation I had in med school, even OB. At least after a 36 hour shift, you get to go home and get some f'in sleep! For the most part, on rotations, I got to eat within an hour of being hungry. I got up and got dressed everyday, once. I could finish my shopping and continue on with errands without a thought. If I had to pee, it didn't have to be planned.

    I thought I'd have all this free time since I didn't have a job. I thought I could read when my kid naps (he doesn't nap well), or after he goes to sleep (he wakes up alot at night, so my reading is constantly interrupted), have time for myself and my hobbies once he's down for the night (once he's down, I try to immediately go to bed too so that I at least get SOME sleep!). I thought I'd be going to grand rounds every week (my kid is jolly during the day, but way louder than would be appropriate). Simply put, as a SAHM, your life is entirely dedicated to your kid. I wouldn't say I'm bored and frustrated, but I did not expect to have absolutely no time for myself. I study for two hours a day, one hour while he's playing right next to me, and one hour while he watches a couple Baby Einstein DVDs (sue me). If I get my studying, program research, daily chores, and (gasp) something fun for myself like going to the gym (which has childcare - yeehah!), that would be a monumental day. I think it's happened twice ;)

    So I won't be home his whole childhood, just that first two years. He probably won't even remember. But when I do return to work, I'm going to try not to talk about it at the dinner table :D
     
  21. raspberry swirl

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    dont worry, we did those things. i still save ziplocs. its habit. did your mom flatten out, fold and save used aluminum foil? wrapping paper? wash and reuse plastic utensils after a pinic?
     
  22. Nerdoscience

    Nerdoscience Senior Member

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    I had a stay-at home dad, but he worked out of the home. I guess it's a different situation, but not really all that different.
     
  23. Tori's dad

    Tori's dad Member

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  24. 3dtp

    3dtp Senior Member
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    Yup! errr, at least until I was old enough to do those things! I still do them.
     
  25. siskiyou

    siskiyou Junior Member

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    What about all of us who were raised by single parents? I would bet that most, like mine, worked at least one job.
     
  26. tr

    tr inert protoplasm
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    Because I know my parents, and both of them would have been absolutely miserable houseparents. But they make great working parents. :)

    I don't doubt it, and I never said it wasn't. I said it would have made my mom bored and frustrated. Not because it's easy, but because it isn't the type of challenge that interests her.
     
  27. tr

    tr inert protoplasm
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    And perhaps this was clear from my previous posts already, but frankly I kind of resent it when people run around saying how it's bad for kids when their mothers work.

    There have been multiple studies done on this, and so far it's been a wash. There are some advantages for kids who stay home early on (they tend to be less aggressive) and some disadvantages (they also tend to be less assertive and adventurous). Overall it's not clear how long these differences persist anyway. Most of the studies have only looked at behavior in the early grades.
     
  28. Tori's dad

    Tori's dad Member

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    I'm sorry, are you saying that your parents would have been incapable of teaching you "confidence and personal development" had they stayed at home?

    I'm not trying to discredit what you are saying, I'm just wondering what your parents would think if they heard you say that.
     
  29. tr

    tr inert protoplasm
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    "Incapable" is an absolute. I used a relative ("better"). Please refrain from twisting my words. Apology accepted, insincere though it rang.

    And yes, I believe my confidence in my own ability to achieve has been enhanced by watching my mom combine a career she enjoyed with raising three equally well-adjusted and high-achieving kids.

    Would I still have been a relatively self-confident human being if she had been a SAHM? Probably; I've got a lot to spare. Would I have had more doubts about the feasibility of being a mom while maintaining a professional identity and a passion for one's work? Almost certainly, n'est-ce pas?

    I think they'd be very happy to hear it, of course.
     
  30. Tori's dad

    Tori's dad Member

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    Interesting...
     
  31. Tori's dad

    Tori's dad Member

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  32. allylz

    allylz Member

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    I'm in the camp agreeing that this is too cursory a look at the issue.

    I noted that I have not had a stay at home parent at any time in my life in my vote.

    However, my mother (a family practice physician) homeschooled me and my brothers up to high school. She worked with me every single day to give me the best grade school education I could ask for. She was also my girl scout troop leader. She was president of the home educator's association in my state, and she spent countless hours shuttling me to my million extracurricular events - I did everything from chorus to ski club to Russian classes to cooking classes. You have a lot of spare time when you're homeschooled.

    My dad worked more than my mom but he still found time to be my soccer coach and my basketball coach for a number of years. My parents may not have been stay at home parents but I think they are the best parents in the world. If they didn't give me the confidence and the skills I needed to make it to and through medical school, no one could have. I admire my parents even more for working and still making the time to be there for me in every way they could - and now I'm going to be a doctor just like my mom. She showed me that you could be a doctor and still be a more active and involved mother to her kids than any of my friends' moms were. Talk about inspiring. I've got nothing against stay at home parents at all, I can't imagine it would be anything but great to have a parent at home all the time. But parents who work can still build your character in a million other ways, despite working.
     
  33. jocg27

    jocg27 Senior Member

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    My parents are divorced and I growing up I lived with my single mom, who worked a great deal. I had meals and spent mornings and evenings at my grandparents house, and went home to sleep. My grandpa still worked, but my grandma was retired and took me to school, picked me up, cooked, had the most contact with my school, etc...She did most of the things a 'stay at home' parent would do, although she wasn't my parent.
     

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