Difficult & Egotistical Colleagues

[drusso]

We've all encountered them. We've trained alongside of them. Some of them are us.

Still, I've always wondered, "Do difficult and egotistical people KNOW that they are difficult and egotistical?" Or, do they just think they're persecuted, don't fit in, ignored, etc.

For example, I once asked a health plan medical director, "Why are you such an a$$hole?" She was shocked by question. I explained that she was generally perceived by others around her as difficult, opinionated, stubborn, and intellectually inflexible. She was really dumb-founded that anyone could appraise her so unflatteringly. She saw herself as a hardworking person "just trying to do what's right." Some time later she admitted to being a little "Aspergoid" and that her attraction to the more administrative side of medicine was due to her frustrations in clinic working with patients. Sometimes, helping people come to terms with their intrinsic a$$holicness can be very therapeutic for them.

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[ampaphb]

An a$$hole who has insight and a willingness to change? http://sev.h-cdn.co/assets/15/47/768x768/gallery-1448035088-unicorn.jpg

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[willabeast]

depends - with time and practice, neurotic people are actually easier to manipulate and get along with at work than some more "normal" people. the problem is when they are your supervisor.
and borderlines are impossible - just stay away from borderlines.

 

[kstarm]

Bob Sutton has written a book about this in the business world: The no A$$hole rule. https://vialogue.wordpress.com/2010/10/27/the-no-dingus-rule-notes-review/

In an interview at Stanford he stated that it varied as to people's own insight into their A$$holiness. At a conference he had a CEO tell him the above book gave him good insight about some of his employees, but unbeknownst to him he was known as a big a$$hole himself.

 

[nvrsumr]

I am solo for a reason...

 

[Gauss]

We've all encountered them. We've trained alongside of them. Some of them are us.

Still, I've always wondered, "Do difficult and egotistical people KNOW that they are difficult and egotistical?" Or, do they just think they're persecuted, don't fit in, ignored, etc.

For example, I once asked a health plan medical director, "Why are you such an a$$hole?" She was shocked by question. I explained that she was generally perceived by others around her as difficult, opinionated, stubborn, and intellectually inflexible. She was really dumb-founded that anyone could appraise her so unflatteringly. She saw herself as a hardworking person "just trying to do what's right." Some time later she admitted to being a little "Aspergoid" and that her attraction to the more administrative side of medicine was due to her frustrations in clinic working with patients. Sometimes, helping people come to terms with their intrinsic a$$holicness can be very therapeutic for them.

If someone is indeed on the Asperger's spectrum then they would have poor insight. Difficult and egotistical tends to be more narcissistic personality disorder

 

[drusso]

If someone is indeed on the Asperger's spectrum then they would have poor insight. Difficult and egotistical tends to be more narcissistic personality disorder

I agree. I think that one must distinguish between being an A$$hole and a PricK. A PricK is more situational--we've all been PricKs before. But, true A$$holeness is characterological. I view as like central sensitization--no doubt A$$holes experience some discomfort by the nature of their disposition, but it is mostly those around them who suffer the most.

 

[Aether2000]

I am trying to find the DSM-5 or ICD-10 codes for these conditions...

 

[Stim4me]

My guess is that if you have a wonderful family life, successful practice, good overall health and attitude , your prorbably not a as.hole. Maybe youre a prick now and then. Now if your complaining about money, make petty comments , and have to rely on others to defend you, my guess is that you're an a..hole. Hiliary is an a..hole, trump is a prick

 

[drusso]

Can females be A$$shole's and PricK's or is it gender-specific? I think they can.

 

[Lostin_space]

We've all encountered them. We've trained alongside of them. Some of them are us.

Still, I've always wondered, "Do difficult and egotistical people KNOW that they are difficult and egotistical?" Or, do they just think they're persecuted, don't fit in, ignored, etc.

For example, I once asked a health plan medical director, "Why are you such an a$$hole?" She was shocked by question. I explained that she was generally perceived by others around her as difficult, opinionated, stubborn, and intellectually inflexible. She was really dumb-founded that anyone could appraise her so unflatteringly. She saw herself as a hardworking person "just trying to do what's right." Some time later she admitted to being a little "Aspergoid" and that her attraction to the more administrative side of medicine was due to her frustrations in clinic working with patients. Sometimes, helping people come to terms with their intrinsic a$$holicness can be very therapeutic for them.

This is one of my favorite posts of all time on this forum. I don't know that I've read/seen another of your posts before, but I love this beyond words.

 

[drusso]

This is one of my favorite posts of all time on this forum. I don't know that I've read/seen another of your posts before, but I love this beyond words.

But, do you think that they *KNOW* that they are A$$holes? It's really an innocuous question. The next time you encounter a difficult and egotistical colleague, just politely ask: "I've been wondering...do you KNOW that you're an A$$hole?"

 

[Lostin_space]

But, do you think that they *KNOW* that they are A$$holes? It's really an innocuous question. The next time you encounter a difficult and egotistical colleague, just politely ask: "I've been wondering...do you KNOW that you're an A$$hole?"

I still have some time in residency - I don't want to get fired haha.

 

[ampaphb]

But, do you think that they *KNOW* that they are A$$holes? It's really an innocuous question. The next time you encounter a difficult and egotistical colleague, just politely ask: "I've been wondering...do you KNOW that you're an A$$hole?"

Drusso is the most diplomatic person I have ever met. He managed to be part of the AAPM&R Board of Governors, (a larger bunch of a$$holes you never met) and managed to emerge with his reputation as a good guy intact.

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[Stim4me]

I still have some time in residency - I don't want to get fired haha.

Biggest a holes stay in academics. I hated the neurologists and Peds academics that "get off " harassing Med students the most ....

 

[Lostin_space]

Biggest a holes stay in academics. I hated the neurologists and Peds academics that "get off " harassing Med students the most ....

Peds is sometimes incredibly harsh, I would agree. Glad I'm not a med student.

 

[NJPAIN]

But, do you think that they *KNOW* that they are A$$holes? It's really an innocuous question. The next time you encounter a difficult and egotistical colleague, just politely ask: "I've been wondering...do you KNOW that you're an A$$hole?"

The majority of Aholes take pride in being Aholes because most have narcissistic personality disorders and think that they are right and the remainder of the world is wrong.


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[Yo GabbaPentin]

But, do you think that they *KNOW* that they are A$$holes? It's really an innocuous question. The next time you encounter a difficult and egotistical colleague, just politely ask: "I've been wondering...do you KNOW that you're an A$$hole?"

Of the several that I know, I think the answer would be "yes, but I don't care." There is no way that they don't know they are one and there is also no way that they care.

 

[101N]

A- in personality notation.
http://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/