do doctors have a lot of friends?

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mindquick

i am wondering if doctors typically have many friends within the field. do they? on grey's anatomy the attendings there don't seem to have any friends.
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I do. Many from college, grad school, med school, residency and fellowship. Of course, they are spread out across the country.

As a more mature adult, you typically have fewer friends than the gang you hung with in college, regardless of the career choice, and as people have families and other responsibilities, the time available to spend with your friends dwindles. Here I socialize with surgeons, anesthesiologists, rad oncologists and medical oncologists...basically the people I work with every day. I even know people <gasp> outside of the hospital

Grey's is not supposed to be focused on the attending's lives, so I doubt you see much of what their characters do outside of the hospital, but I'm sure they have friends. Besides....its JUST A TV SHOW.
 
I don't. I get to the hospital before sunrise and come home to an empty apartment after sunset. Then I do it all over again the next day. I've alienated all my classmates except for a few and even they're too busy with their own thing anyway to hang out much. It's OK though, this is how all the old school surgeons rolled and they went out as legends. It'll be worth it.
 
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Misterioso said:
I don't. I get to the hospital before sunrise and come home to an empty apartment after sunset. Then I do it all over again the next day. I've alienated all my classmates except for a few and even they're too busy with their own thing anyway to hang out much. It's OK though, this is how all the old school surgeons rolled and they went out as legends. It'll be worth it.
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This is exactly what I don't want to do. I don't want to be a legend in medicine. I want to work in a field without being suicidal, make enough money that I won't regret the time I put into this job, and come home to a family who actually knows me because I'm there for them on a regular basis.

(anybody figured out what specialty that is? If so, drop me a line... )
 
mindquick said:
i am wondering if doctors typically have many friends within the field. do they? on grey's anatomy the attendings there don't seem to have any friends.
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:thumbdown:

Take it as a general rule that what you see on TV, especially Grey's Anatomy, is pretty much the opposite of what you get in real world medicine.


Generally, the docs who I have seen play well with others tend to do just fine making friendships within the field. Having colleagues who like you can affect your practice in many indirect ways.
 
Don't listen to Misterioso, he just does this schtick about how much better things were in the "good old days" when doctors were only white men and physician antisocial behavior was encouraged.

That said, while there are always exceptions to the rule, I've found out the following regarding doctors who have friends as doctors.

A) As you get older and go through medical school, the amount of time you spend with your friends gradually declines. More and more people tend to get engaged/married/have kids so their free time for chilling with the buds or girls nights out go down. It's just a natural progression that a 48 year old attending who is worrying about getting his kids through college isn't going to be spending a lot of nights tossing back some brews with his bros.

B) In my experience, proceduralists tend to get along with eachother worse than nonproceduralists. I think it has to do with the fact that they view other doctors in their field (and even out of their field) as competition.

C) The people I see who get along the best are those who work in smaller, private practice groups. This is because they tend to be very selective about who is hired into the group or made a partner. They only want people who they can get along with, so they tend to be better friends. When you're in a big group, there's a lot of people who you aren't going to see eye to eye with.
 
thanks for replying, everyone. i guess doctors can have friends after all, but there are docs like Misterioso who do not have friends. i prolly won't have any friends either.

so do doctors fight a lot with their colleagues? say you are having a disagreement with how to treat a patient with another doctor. are there a lot of heated arguments? i know it happens a lot in engineering, because everyone has a different vision and want to do things their own way. in House TV show they seem to have a lot of heated debates too.
 
mindquick said:
i know it happens a lot in engineering, because everyone has a different vision and want to do things their own way. in House TV show they seem to have a lot of heated debates too.
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Blade28 said:
Please don't believe ANYTHING you see in Grey's Anatomy.
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That goes for House too, as much as I love the show.
 
TMP-SMX said:
But I thought internists could do brain surgery and residents do their own lab work and radiology.
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That's why I'm in the field. I hear being a GP reimburses better if you do some neurosurg a couple days a week.

I have to say, it bugs me that everytime they show the intestines in House, they are never attached by peritoneum :laugh:
 
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MSKalltheway said:
I have to say, it bugs me that everytime they show the intestines in House, they are never attached by peritoneum :laugh:
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Oh there are many things that bug me about medical shows, but I try to watch them purely for the entertainment value. :)
 
Yes, though most of my friends here are coresidents.

Usually we'll try to see each other 1-2 times a week to hang out, watch a movie, eat, or drink.
 
From what I hear, most American adults don't have a lot of friends. Wasn't there some study published recently that found the average American has 1-2 close friends?
 
TMP-SMX said:
...and residents do their own lab work and radiology.
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we do all of the above AND all the other departments' jobs

signed,

Tired and Snoopy Brown (the 2 hardest working residents EVER)

They have each other as friends
 
Law2Doc said:
So I've heard. You are better off with the pharmaceutical reps. They aren't really friends but they are just nice to you and bring you free stuff. Few friends will ever treat you that good.
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I wish they were allowed into my hospital. The usually bring good free food (better than the student orgs anyway). :D
 
Ashers said:
As a lifelong hospital brat who's been using "doctor" (read "pharmaceutical") pens since elementary school, I look forward to it. ;)
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In my experience, the pharmaceutical reps kiss up to the med students when they are around also. I think they're trying to win our favor early on :)

They can sure try, the women are pretty attractive. WOOF.
 
MSKalltheway said:
In my experience, the pharmaceutical reps kiss up to the med students when they are around also. I think they're trying to win our favor early on :)

They can sure try, the women are pretty attractive. WOOF.
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Drug reps... :cool::thumbup:

Too bad I'm not single. ;)
 
MSKalltheway said:
In my experience, the pharmaceutical reps kiss up to the med students when they are around also. I think they're trying to win our favor early on :)
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This early-on kissing up happened a few days ago, and I wasn't responsive to it. I won't be using any branded pens, coffee mugs, or any other crap like that when I practice.
 
AmoryBlaine said:
Friends pretty much only slow you down. They really cut into your study time.
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That is very true. So does a wife and children. Back when doctors were kings (circa pre-1985) the best residents were unmarried men who all but lived in the hospital. Especially so for surgery where a fair share of residencies only took men without wives so they wouldn't be incessantly nagged about missing little Johnny's meaningless school recital while they were in the hospital doing important things.
 
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Misterioso said:
I don't. I get to the hospital before sunrise and come home to an empty apartment after sunset. Then I do it all over again the next day. I've alienated all my classmates except for a few and even they're too busy with their own thing anyway to hang out much. It's OK though, this is how all the old school surgeons rolled and they went out as legends. It'll be worth it.
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Even if you worked only 40 hours a week and had all the time in the world, you'd still have no friends.
 
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Who needs friends when you have an MD? J/K

Of course doctors have a lot of friends. But now that I have gone through the 4 years of med school, most of my close friends are in medicine though they are not going to the same med school. Friendships and relationships are so important!
 
I have lots of friends. About 1/3 of them are in medicine.
 
When will the rest of the world realize that doctors are normal people??

We eat, crap, pee, have friends, some smoke, drink, do drugs...most have sex, others masturbate, many look at porn. We mow yards, clean houses, watch TV, and yes, we sometimes shop at WalMart!
 
EM_Rebuilder said:
When will the rest of the world realize that doctors are normal people??

We eat, crap, pee, have friends, some smoke, drink, do drugs...most have sex, others masturbate, many look at porn. We mow yards, clean houses, watch TV, and yes, we sometimes shop at WalMart!
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I prefer to call it "Studying for my OB/GYN Shelf"
 
Kimberli Cox said:
I do. Many from college, grad school, med school, residency and fellowship. Of course, they are spread out across the country.

As a more mature adult, you typically have fewer friends than the gang you hung with in college, regardless of the career choice, and as people have families and other responsibilities, the time available to spend with your friends dwindles. Here I socialize with surgeons, anesthesiologists, rad oncologists and medical oncologists...basically the people I work with every day. I even know people <gasp> outside of the hospital

Grey's is not supposed to be focused on the attending's lives, so I doubt you see much of what their characters do outside of the hospital, but I'm sure they have friends. Besides....its JUST A TV SHOW.
Click to expand...

Excellent post!!!! I especially wanted to point out the bolded to people.


I want to emphasize the bolded portion of the above quoted. I've often heard several indian aunties and uncles talking about how their kids who are in med school have lost touch with so many of their friends because they've been busy with medschool. But they say it in such a way as if to make it sound like this happens more with those in med school then with those who decided to enter the work force right away after college. They have also made it sound like those with 4 year degrees and working have sooooo much of a bigger life. But the truth is when you leave college you really do lose touch with a lot of people regardless of profession.

Both my brothers lost touch with a lot of people they knew in college, especially my eldest brother. They've also focused their friendships mostly around those they work with and also a few people they've known since they were kids. Same with a lot of the other people I know who are outside of medicine.
 
EM_Rebuilder said:
When will the rest of the world realize that doctors are normal people??

We eat, crap, pee, have friends, some smoke, drink, do drugs...most have sex, others masturbate, many look at porn. We mow yards, clean houses, watch TV, and yes, we sometimes shop at WalMart!
Click to expand...

it is because a lot of lay people here about how high doctors salaries are and constantly hear about how they are on call a lot or stuff that they develop this image of doctors as being different from the rest of society. My favorite has to be those people who think doctors are some sort of world class geniuses with an IQ of Einstein or something.

Yes intelligence is needed but anyone with a decent degree of intelligence, common sense, and most of all dedication could become a doctor as long as they didn't have some other severe disability preventing them from being able to perform the necessary tasks required of them.
 
really? doctors are normal people? but the ones i know are all weird.
 
mindquick said:
thanks for replying, everyone. i guess doctors can have friends after all, but there are docs like Misterioso who do not have friends. i prolly won't have any friends either.

so do doctors fight a lot with their colleagues? say you are having a disagreement with how to treat a patient with another doctor. are there a lot of heated arguments? i know it happens a lot in engineering, because everyone has a different vision and want to do things their own way. in House TV show they seem to have a lot of heated debates too.
Click to expand...

No. In real practice, you don't have time to fight. If you don't trust or respect a consultant in another specialty, you find another consultant. If you think that your partner is a hack or incompetent, you will, or should, find another one.

Instead of fighting within a specialty, we gossip about one another. It's fun.
Leads to productive peer pressure.

In academics, you can see some heated debates in M and M, grand rounds, etc. But that's what universities are for.

As for relations outside of work, see dr cox's reply,
 
Misterioso said:
I don't. I get to the hospital before sunrise and come home to an empty apartment after sunset. Then I do it all over again the next day. I've alienated all my classmates except for a few and even they're too busy with their own thing anyway to hang out much. It's OK though, this is how all the old school surgeons rolled and they went out as legends. It'll be worth it.
Click to expand...


i'm not certain if there's sarcasm in this post (especially the latter part), but for the most part, this is true (at least for me). as a 3rd year med. student, my schedule mirrors this exactly...

not exactly the type of life i hope to lead in the future :(
 
gujuDoc said:
Excellent post!!!! I especially wanted to point out the bolded to people.


I want to emphasize the bolded portion of the above quoted. I've often heard several indian aunties and uncles talking about how their kids who are in med school have lost touch with so many of their friends because they've been busy with medschool. But they say it in such a way as if to make it sound like this happens more with those in med school then with those who decided to enter the work force right away after college. They have also made it sound like those with 4 year degrees and working have sooooo much of a bigger life. But the truth is when you leave college you really do lose touch with a lot of people regardless of profession.

Both my brothers lost touch with a lot of people they knew in college, especially my eldest brother. They've also focused their friendships mostly around those they work with and also a few people they've known since they were kids. Same with a lot of the other people I know who are outside of medicine.
Click to expand...


I completely agree.

Oldies forget that world is bigger than ever because of technological advances that helps people go anywhere to work.

In olden days, people pretty much stayed in their hometown with few moving out. Those who moved out, did not went that far away to lose contacts. But that's not the case now.

It is better to have no friend than to have selfish one who drains energy out of you.

Also, birds that fly flocks together.
 
EM_Rebuilder said:
When will the rest of the world realize that doctors are normal people??

We eat, crap, pee, have friends, some smoke, drink, do drugs...most have sex, others masturbate, many look at porn. We mow yards, clean houses, watch TV, and yes, we sometimes shop at WalMart!
Click to expand...

This should really say "most masturbate, some have sex".
 
gujuDoc said:
Nothing to do with your post, but rather your signature. You guys look like a cute couple. :p
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She makes us cute; I make us a couple. ;)
 
Doctors are busy professionals and like most busy professionals, they have time to have fun on the weekends or after work if they so choose. From what I've noticed, it's not being a doctor that prevents people from socializing, it's having kids. My parents' friends have an amazing habit of dropping off the face of the planet once kids start coming. They usually stop going to parties etc on the weekends because it interferes with their precious children's overpacked weekend of flute-practice, gymanstics, swimming, chinese school.....
 
NonTradMed said:
Doctors are busy professionals and like most busy professionals, they have time to have fun on the weekends or after work if they so choose. .....
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and of course the occasional beer or two...who cares if you are carrying a fetus.
 
Blade28 said:
Most accurate show might be Scrubs. :)
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Yeah I have heard that before from my cousin (OB/GYN resident)..

sounds like being a doctor will be lots of fun and musicals! :laugh:
 
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