Do I have any chances or should I give up this dream once and for all.

[Soraiyya]

Where do I start? I will try to be as brief as possible.

I am from India and moved to US 8 years back. A total procrastinator. My husband on the other hand is genius.He works as a consultant in NY and we live in NJ.
I come from a family of doctors. My dad's a doctor in India and so if my brother. I got distracted from my path and took many wrong turns because of which I had to give up on my dream of becoming a doctor.
I LOVE helping people and I LOVE medicine. But I just didnt pursue it at all. I went for an engineering degree in India,got married in the middle of it and came to US. Here I did my BS in Liberal Studies from Excelsior College which is a distant learning but accreditated institute in Albany. I had to take CLEP exams to complete the degree with about 30 credits from my engineering school in India.
From the Indian school I have completed classes in Chem and Physics. From BS here I have Humanities, Mathematics,English etc. But no Biology.
I did Bio in 11th and 12th in India but I guess that counts as High school here.

I have helped my Dad in his nursing home in India and can provide letters about volunteer work there but its been awhile since I did that.

I always had the dream in me to become a doctor but I kept sidelining it because of emotional drama in my life but the dream came back full gush about one and a half years ago.
I got pregnant and then lost the baby at 8 months due to placental abruption. What happened was I was in pain for a week, severe pain but this being my first pregnancy, the doctor misdiagnosed me and I ended up losing my baby and almost my life as well. I lost 3/4th of my blood before they took me for the emergency c-section.
I tried to file a suit against him but that didnt come through.

Anyways, after this happened all I can think about is becoming a doctor.
I want to be able to help. The dream that lingered in the back of my mind is now making me go crazy and I am researching everything I can do now.

I know I have not done a single thing right for medical school. I know I have been ridiculously lazy and procrastinated more than imaginable.
I feel like I was given this new life to finally follow my dream.

My husband thinks it crazy to even think about this now.Coming from India, we are used to seeing students finish all their education before 26-27 max. Indian med schools don't require the bachelors first but they have tough entrance exams and are competetive.
He asks me why do I have to make my life tough. He doesnt understand.

Good thing is he will support me financially if I get into a program.
I am not delusional and I do know I have almost 0%chances at a US med school. I was thinking if there are any Caribbean school, the good ones, that would allow shorter stay on the island or allow part of their study in US or India?

I am very confused right now. I also often think about just giving up all this day dreaming and taking the GMAT and getting an MBA from a local college here. But I will hate the job I do after that. I mean I have done internships in fashion and HR and hated them.
I own a small, very small scarves business as well so my husband says I should concentrate on that and expand it, maybe get an MBA etc.

You see my dilemma by now I guess.

I am willing to work very hard. I am good at taking standardized tests so I am hoping I could do OK on the MCAT if I work hard.

Where do I go from here. Please be honest. Also, I absolutely do not want to go for para-medical courses like nursing, PT,PA etc.

Thanks so much and please be honest and tell me if I am being crazy.

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[DrMidlife]

What is your residency status?

 

[Soraiyya]

We have recently applied for permanent residency (green card) but it will take a couple of years or more to come through.
Currently my husband is on work visa, H1 visa and I am his dependent on H4 visa/Spouse Visa.

I have read on several websites that US med schools will only consider you if you are a permanent resident or citizen here. I am wondering if thats true. I know the bigger top schools allow international students but I am not even expecting to be considered by lower level US schools.

I don't know what they need for the Caribbean schools though.

 

[Scottish Chap]

We have recently applied for permanent residency (green card) but it will take a couple of years or more to come through.
Currently my husband is on work visa, H1 visa and I am his dependent on H4 visa/Spouse Visa.

I have read on several websites that US med schools will only consider you if you are a permanent resident or citizen here. I am wondering if thats true. I know the bigger top schools allow international students but I am not even expecting to be considered by lower level US schools.

I don't know what they need for the Caribbean schools though.

Solve the green card issue first. If you are accepted, most schools that will accept a non-citizen/GC holder want 4 years of tuition upfront in an escrow account. If you are working on your degree, prereq's, and MCAT, you may have your GC by the time you apply.

You have been through a lot. Nobody can tell you what you should do. This is a ten year commitment (med school + residency)...just to get the training, then it's life-long learning and a large debt burden. If you still want to do it knowing all of this, then you should try. Many internationals with lesser struggles than you (myself included) have made it. You can, too. Good luck.

P.S. Caribbean schools should be a VERY last option. Knowing there is a path of least resistance does not mean it's the right one.

 

[curt656]

My feeling is that if this is your dream and you have the ability and support to follow it through, then why not? It sounds like your husband is thinking from what he perceives to be the practical standpoint which is not always the right one. You do say he is willing to pay for your schooling, so to me that sounds like although he doesn't agree or understand, he is going to stand by you. That is a GREAT thing. To me it really shows how important you are to him and he will stand by you no matter what his opinion is.

You do not mention your age in your post, but, as you can see here in the Non-Trad part of this forum, it is not an issue. I think you should see about taking your pre-req's while you are waiting for your green card to come through. If you are lucky, maybe you will finish at about the same time that the green card does.

In today's age, following one's dreams is not solely an American franchise anymore. Just because you are living far away from home and your options may seem limited, does not mean you should not strive to be the very best that you can. If that means you fight against all odds, then by all means fight! Would you rather try and fail or live a life of regret? I know I may romanticise this a little too much, but you owe it to yourself to exhaust every avenue in the pursuit of your aspirations.

 

[Soraiyya]

Thank you for the encouraging responses.

I am 33 years old. I do feel like its late already and that I realized this very late. By the time I have my GC and everything I will be able to apply around the age of 37 minimum I guess.

I know it will be worth it but there are so many things to consider. Did I mention we are trying for a baby as well? I do have a wonderful support system. You got it right, my husband doesnt understand but is willing to help me as much as he can. I have a great mom-in-law as well who wouldnt mind moving in with us to help us if we need her if and when we have a baby.

I feel like beating myself up for not doing this earlier. I wish I had just finished my BS earlier and pre-reqs earlier.I wish I had listened to my dad and done med school in India itself. My brother did his MBBS in India and then came to live in US. He didnt pass the US MLE and got an MS in Phamacology. He works in research now. My husband points out that even though he did everything right, he's not been able to practice medicine so to look at the bright side because you never know what you end up doing.
But I think of myself in my brothers place, so many missed opportunities, if I were him, I would never give up the dream so easily, why did he? I don't know.

My mind is not able to rest since some days.

The Caribbean schools route would actually be tougher given that my husband and I would have to live away from each other. Unless he can get a job there I know I am expecting too much from him though.

Please keep the responses coming. It feels so good to be able to discuss this with someone that doesnt think you are crazy. In fact I havent had the courage to even mention this dream to anyone except for the husband.

Thanks

 

[LUCPM]

Thank you for the encouraging responses.

I am 33 years old. I do feel like its late already and that I realized this very late. By the time I have my GC and everything I will be able to apply around the age of 37 minimum I guess.

I know it will be worth it but there are so many things to consider. Did I mention we are trying for a baby as well? I do have a wonderful support system. You got it right, my husband doesnt understand but is willing to help me as much as he can. I have a great mom-in-law as well who wouldnt mind moving in with us to help us if we need her if and when we have a baby.

I feel like beating myself up for not doing this earlier. I wish I had just finished my BS earlier and pre-reqs earlier.I wish I had listened to my dad and done med school in India itself. My brother did his MBBS in India and then came to live in US. He didnt pass the US MLE and got an MS in Phamacology. He works in research now. My husband points out that even though he did everything right, he's not been able to practice medicine so to look at the bright side because you never know what you end up doing.
But I think of myself in my brothers place, so many missed opportunities, if I were him, I would never give up the dream so easily, why did he? I don't know.

My mind is not able to rest since some days.

The Caribbean schools route would actually be tougher given that my husband and I would have to live away from each other. Unless he can get a job there I know I am expecting too much from him though.

Please keep the responses coming. It feels so good to be able to discuss this with someone that doesnt think you are crazy. In fact I havent had the courage to even mention this dream to anyone except for the husband.

Thanks

I would also say take care of GC first. Your age becomes an issue if you feel that way. You might also want to consider DO schools as they are more open to non-traditional applicants. Best of luck to you.

 

[Soraiyya]

I don't know that much about DO schools. I will research. Like I said I had so many opportunities in life that I missed. A great dad, doctor himself, wanted me to try for med school. I didnt listen to him. A great husband, since 8 years now, he would have agreed to support me then and will support me now.

Is GC an issue with Caribbean schools as well? I am assuming its not?

I know I shouldnt aim for Caribbean schools but I want to get started instead of waiting here. Does anyone know which schools in Caribbean allow the least amount of time to be spent there? Also,after the 5 semesters do you get to choose where you can do the 3rd and 4th year?

Thanks

 

[DrMidlife]

The problem isn't getting into a Carib school. That's easy.

The problem is getting a residency after. That's not at all certain.

 

[DrArete]

My advice is not to do it, at least for now.

Going into medicine primarily because of a traumatic experience is probably not a good idea. In part, you may be trying to replace the pain of your lost baby with a huge, new, all enveloping project that you think will take away that pain, and give you meaning and direction in your life.

I am not saying, 100%, that you shouldn't ever pursue medical school, I just don't think now is the right time for you.

You seem intelligent and motivated though, so there are some great things you can do.

You could work and expand that business of yours - your contacts in India, and also the ones your husband has, could be invaluable in this venture.

You might even put your nursing home experience to good use, and try and start some sort of home healthcare business - there is great money to be made in this, and a high demand, and you get to help people.

Who knows, maybe a few years down the road, when you have put the tragedy of the past further behind you, and found some success in your other endeavors, you may decide still, medicine is what I need to be even happier, or you may decide, that your life is complete and fulfilling.

Either way, you will do well.