Do people believe that you just can't make it?

[bigserve99]

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to find out if I'm alone in this.....

I mean there's def. people close to me that for one, do not believe I will get into med school - nor that I have the wherewithall to do well in med school. On a day to day basis I just take this as added motivation, but eventually it can drain on me. I mean I get neurotic about MCAT's and can't sleep and such....I mean I study about 7-8 hours a day and wake up with nightmares about what I don't know (and I've only been studying for 2 weeks!)

Ultimately, I'm a realist and realize that med school admissions etc. is a difficult process and that the statistical numbers are against you. But damn, somtimes the negativity is horrible.

Does anyone else have to go through this? Is it close family members / significant others? How do you deal with it? I mean how do you respond when you say "I have to go study" and their response is "don't bother....start your career and move on"? I read a lot of the posts on SDN and it seems most everyonein in your lives seems overwhelmingly supportive. What about you that have people in your lives that actually ROOT AGAINST YOU.

BTW, I'm not whining...I normally feed off the me against the world mentality....but you know what I'm not ignorant either, sometimes it sucks.

EDIT: Most of these "people" have no idea what med school is about or even if I'm a good applicant!

~ Peace

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[ih8mcat]

I can kind of see where you're coming from, when I was much younger in HS. I knew I wanted to go into medicine, but as the time went by through high school, this idea didn't sit to well with my mom. It wasn't that she thought that I wasn't capable of doing it, she saw many of her friends' kids and nieces fail at it. She thought I would end up wasting my time in college taking all of these classes and then having nothing to show for it. However, in the end I think I convinced her otherwise.

Take it easy MCAT studying isn't a piece of cake, I just got through it this past summer, have at least a day or two off during the week where you do no studying.

g'luck!

 

[jbrice1639]

I mean how do you respond when you say "I have to go study" and their response is "don't bother....start your career and move on"?

those people will lead exceedingly unhappy lives...it's hard to just brush it off now, but in the end, you're going to have a fulfilling careers while they spend their lives just "moving on"

oh, and take it easy with the studying...you can definitely over-study, and that's worse than under-studying. just try to relax and you'll do fine...there's plenty of time for nightmares about studying when you're in med school and you dream about your cadaver pointing to things on his own body and calling you a ***** for not knowing what it is...not that that's happened or anything...

 

[kouhiiko]

Hey there,

Just thought I would share with you how I deal with the negative voices in my life: I work my butt off to succeed...I study like you are studying...I stay focused....and make sure to recharge now and again by going for a run, hike, read something for pleasure, or sit quietly in the dark for 5 minutes...and then I work some more.

It sounds like you know what you have to do to succeed, and if you have the will and means to make it happen, then to heck with everyone else. Their voices will fall silent (or may even swing to admiring of your persistence) when it becomes clear that you are going to reach you goal(s).

When I returned to school (I'm a nontrad), some of my peers and individuals in my family expressed doubt that I would stick with completing my coursework because I was never categorized as a "science" person. It took me a long time to complete my coursework, and the extension of my original timeline for applying to medschool fueled the the skeptics in my life. They suggested that I should become a nurse or PA instead (I have nurses in my family, so I have the greatest respect for their invaluable contibution as educators and caregivers, but they were not suggesting those professions because they thought it would be a good fit for my goals, but because they thought that perhaps it made more sense for some imaginary timeline in their heads that would leave room for getting married and having kids....but I am not on their timeline...I have my own and I am comfortable with it. Anyway, if I become I nurse or PA, it will be because I WANT to become a nurse or PA, not because I couldn't make it into medschool for whatever reasons...)For me, the MCAT also represented a huge challege because I took my premed requirements years before I took the exam (I postponed taking the MCAT because I worked a lot throughout school, and simply did not have time to prepare adequately for the MCAT and keep up with class and work, etc.) When I started studying, I had to relearn how to name organic compounds and rememorize the physics equations...like you, I had to devote many, many hours for a period of months, to prepare for the exam. Most people gave me a hard time for blowing off a social activities to study...
I tuned out the negative voices, listened selectively to the positive voices, and I took the MCAT in April and got a decent score. It is hard to believe, but I am applying this year...this longed-for time is finally here...and I am SOOO glad I stuck with it.

I think that many people don't understand the process of applying to medschool and are quick to offer advice on how to approach each task (from the MCAT, to AMCAS, secondaries, mandatory interviews, the financial expense, the expectations placed on the applicants (by adcomms) that they should be super men and women....or the expectation from many non-premeds that getting into medschool is like getting into any other grad/professional program. Well, getting into medschool is not impossible, but it sure is not like into any other grad program I can think of (except maybe dental or vet school)....and very few of us (applicants) are super men and women, but we are hardworking men and women, and I have to believe that hardwork and informed decision-making/planning will pay off for most of us in the end (even if "the end" means reapplying a second time around). There are always people in life who are going to have it easier, and those that are going to have it harder...and sometimes we fail...but tune out the "I told you so..." and the bad advice....and get back up and back at it....if this is your dream, and you understand what it will take to get you there (based on your own strengths, weaknesses, and resources), then do what you have to do (within the bounds of what is ethical and not self-destructive). Succeed for yourself, while being true to yourself, and everything else will fall into place. Along the way, as you can, try to find a community of people who are supportive of your efforts and goals. (And ask for help now and again when you need it! We all need a little help sometimes...)


You will make it!

 

[FenderHM]

read the fountainhead by Ayn Rand

 

[baylormed]

Speaking from personal experience, there is no greater motivation than the desire to prove those people wrong. Use it to your advantage.

 

[smuwillobrien]

I really enjoyed that post kouhiiko.

 

[MDstudent101]

BTW look at my signature at the bottom, I understand... I to have people in my intermidiate family that don't believe I will make it, and some I can sense that sopposedly support me but I can tell that that's a cover up for their true incosiderate feelings!!! I to feed of of this mentally, and I try to strive but I know tht this can get old and it suck's. But what can you do??? PROVE them WRONG and keep studying, but don't let that be the only driving force. Sooner or later they telling you that you're gonna fail is gonna get intertwined with your subconcious and you "might" start actually thinking that you can't make it but you gotta keep your head up. And try to talk to those people and tell them if they could please give you some moral and emotional support atleast!!! And if they don't sorry but you gonna have to suck it in and deal with it!!!! My 2 cent'z.......

Good Luck,

 

[bigserve99]

thanks for your responses everyone, especially kouhiiko (hope you get in)

I guess you can't really do anything about these people....in my case, basically my family. I basically have been doing things they're way all my life....(what sports I play, where to go to school, what to study, etc.). Where's it gotten me? .....basically me whining on SDN about it.

Sometimes, I just want to go all oren iishi on these people when they tell me I won't make it, just jk.

Oh, btw kouhiiko, I understand what you mean about the confidence factor. I trained for my first tri-athalon (not just a sprint triath, either) this past summer and man, it was freaking awesome. Gave me a confidence I never knew before. There's something about pushing your own limits and forcing your body and mind to adapt that's just so cathartic. Guess that's why I study so hard for the MCAT's.

Again, thanks for all your input. It's great to know that were people out there that "succeeded" even with all the haters.


~ Peace.