Do people try to discourage you from becoming a doctor?

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nctw

"Don't give up…don't ever give up."
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This past week, I had a chance to see some extended family (great aunts, cousins, etc) that I haven't seen in 5+ years. All of my relatives asked the traditional questions (Where are you going? What's your major? Do you have a roommate?), but when they asked me what I ultimately wanted to do in life, and I told them medicine, a lot of them seemed discouraging. Some were thrilled, obviously, but others said comments like "Too much work, not enough pay. You're better off doing something else." or "Why would you destroy these young years of your life with all of this schooling?" I've also had friends say similar things. Have any of you been told not to become a doctor by friends/family?

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I've been told that the prestige is not as great and the money is not as great compared to the past.

Which is completely true.
 
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An ER doc who was supposed to be treating me. Claimed that my being there showed I wouldn't be able to handle the stress. It was a great night.
 
Recently, from a fellow male pre-med:

"So I think you should cryo-preserve your eggs."

My mom:

"You know that if you have kids later they have an elevated chance of developing schizophrenia and/or autism." (She's a neuroscientist.)

My complicated significant other:

"Just a heads up... I might leave you during residency."

Friend working for major consulting firm:

"You realize that I'll be making 10x the amount you'll make except sans debt right?"

Friend working for major i-bank:

"Aren't you too smart to be a doctor?" (verbatim)

So yea, people have tried to discourage me from becoming a doctor...
 
I volunteer in a local ER and all the doctors I spoke to told me not to go into medicine. Literally all of them.
 
I've recently decided that I also want to pursue medicine, and have heard similar advice. I'm a little different in that I graduated a few years back, and have already started a career. So, the criticism I am hearing revolves a lot around money as I am already a software developer. However, I think it's crucial to understand that careers are all about personality and perspective.

For instance, statements like "Too much work, not enough pay" really depend on the kind of "pay" you find important. Monetary? The feeling of helping others?

Or "Why would you destroy these young years of your life with all of this schooling?" - Some of the best times of my life have been in the classroom, library, or 24-hour computer labs.
 
This past week, I had a chance to see some extended family (great aunts, cousins, etc) that I haven't seen in 5+ years. All of my relatives asked the traditional questions (Where are you going? What's your major? Do you have a roommate?), but when they asked me what I ultimately wanted to do in life, and I told them medicine, a lot of them seemed discouraging. Some were thrilled, obviously, but others said comments like "Too much work, not enough pay. You're better off doing something else." or "Why would you destroy these young years of your life with all of this schooling?" I've also had friends say similar things. Have any of you been told not to become a doctor by friends/family?

Yes. But I would say that as many people think it's a good idea. I think usually both sides are misinformed about what it entails and the daily life of a physician.

I had some pretty long conversations with a physician I shadowed about the problems with medicine, and he was quick to tell me he didn't think I should go into it. I didn't listen obviously, but I do think the reasons he gave me were legitimate. A doctor I see, to whom I talk to about medicine every now and then has also told me that he's not sure whether or not he would recommend medicine as a career to anyone anymore. I think this is because no one is really sure about how it's going to be 10 years from now.
 
Friend working for major i-bank:

"Aren't you too smart to be a doctor?" (verbatim)

So yea, people have tried to discourage me from becoming a doctor...
:mad:



As for myself, it's more of a self-doubt. Really questioning it. Family however is completely the opposite from OP.
 
Recently, from a fellow male pre-med:

"So I think you should cryo-preserve your eggs."

My mom:

"You know that if you have kids later they have an elevated chance of developing schizophrenia and/or autism." (She's a neuroscientist.)

My complicated significant other:

"Just a heads up... I might leave you during residency."

Friend working for major consulting firm:

"You realize that I'll be making 10x the amount you'll make except sans debt right?"


Friend working for major i-bank:

"Aren't you too smart to be a doctor?" (verbatim)

So yea, people have tried to discourage me from becoming a doctor...

Lol, wut? Consulting: the fall-back for everyone with a non-useful bachelor's degree.
 
My own primary physician said I couldn't be a doctor because I'm apparently 'too' sick.
 
Recently, from a fellow male pre-med:

"So I think you should cryo-preserve your eggs."

My mom:

"You know that if you have kids later they have an elevated chance of developing schizophrenia and/or autism." (She's a neuroscientist.)

My complicated significant other:

"Just a heads up... I might leave you during residency."

Friend working for major consulting firm:

"You realize that I'll be making 10x the amount you'll make except sans debt right?"

Friend working for major i-bank:

"Aren't you too smart to be a doctor?" (verbatim)

So yea, people have tried to discourage me from becoming a doctor...

I get the feeling you go to yale lol. But anyway the bold text is kind of awesome in so many ways. :laugh:
 
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I've had doctors tell me not to go into medicine. But it's usually when they're working. And there's a difficult patient on the floor. :D The majority say that if you love medicine it's worth it. And that's kinda what I always figured.
 
My family supports me 100%. However, I have ran into a couple of people who say, "You're a girl. Why don't you just be a nurse?"
 
Not really. I love my family to death, but they are REALLY ignorant about anything and everything academic. Not a single person in my family has gone to college, and I think they all have some grandiose vision of medicine and doctors. My mom thinks it's amazing that I want to do this, but probably mostly because she thinks it will reflect favorably upon her, i.e. "u jelly my son is a doctor?" My dad thinks I'm an idiot for wanting to spend so much time in school, and would rather have the instant satisfaction of seeing me join the military or becoming a truck driver or something. I've pretty much learned to keep my plans to myself.
 
Have any of you been told not to become a doctor by friends/family?

My friends/family think it's pretty awesome (especially the people who actually know what the process entails). It's the doctors who tell me not to do it. Not all of them, of course, but the biggest surprise was when I went with my mother to her endoscopy and the young (mid-40s) GI told me flat out not to do it, and that he'd be getting out in less than 5 years.

I've had other physicians tell me to think about it, and others that told me, 'fine, do it, just specialize.'
 
Recently, from a fellow male pre-med:

"So I think you should cryo-preserve your eggs."

My mom:

"You know that if you have kids later they have an elevated chance of developing schizophrenia and/or autism." (She's a neuroscientist.)

My complicated significant other:

"Just a heads up... I might leave you during residency."

Friend working for major consulting firm:

"You realize that I'll be making 10x the amount you'll make except sans debt right?"

Friend working for major i-bank:

"Aren't you too smart to be a doctor?" (verbatim)

So yea, people have tried to discourage me from becoming a doctor...

Yea your SO def got ya lol
 
My eldest uncle on my mom's side told me to quit trying to be a doctor because the Chinese will outcompete you and the money is in environmental microbiology. I wanted to tell him to **** off but then I'd be kicked out of his house in the middle of Bangladesh in my western clothes.
 
:mad:



As for myself, it's more of a self-doubt. Really questioning it. Family however is completely the opposite from OP.

I think it's normal to question yourself at times. It's not my immediate family, just my extended family. My mom is thrilled, as are my grandparents and my siblings.
 
I volunteer in a local ER and all the doctors I spoke to told me not to go into medicine. Literally all of them.

I've heard the same from bankers, teachers, lawyers, and engineers. I think you'll find this in every career.
 
I've heard things like this all the time. Why should it matter? All it comes down to is YOUR conviction that this is your calling - by calling I mean not some sort of glorified destiny, but more your sense that this is what you feel is the best thing to do with your life for you right now.
 
I've been told that the prestige is not as great and the money is not as great compared to the past.

Which is completely true.

I've been told the same :/. One doctor told me if he was in my shoes he'd get an MBA...
 
I've heard the same from bankers, teachers, lawyers, and engineers. I think you'll find this in every career.

+1

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My friends/family think it's pretty awesome (especially the people who actually know what the process entails). It's the doctors who tell me not to do it. Not all of them, of course, but the biggest surprise was when I went with my mother to her endoscopy and the young (mid-40s) GI told me flat out not to do it, and that he'd be getting out in less than 5 years.

I've had other physicians tell me to think about it, and others that told me, 'fine, do it, just specialize.'
That's what I've heard too.
 
Lol, wut? Consulting: the fall-back for everyone with a non-useful bachelor's degree.

Yea but it's really a good stepping stone if you make it into Bain/BCG/McK. Or so I've heard. I don't know **** about the world...

I get the feeling you go to yale lol. But anyway the bold text is kind of awesome in so many ways. :laugh:

Lol b/c I'm from CT?
 
Yea but it's really a good stepping stone if you make it into Bain/BCG/McK. Or so I've heard. I don't know **** about the world...



Lol b/c I'm from CT?

That and because you seem to have successful friends, or at least that's how it came of from your quotes. Not great logic I know...
 
Almost everyone has been encouraging which I guess is good for me! :)
 
Yes, especially if you're a black male. People usually try to bribe you to pick up a basketball.
 
NCTW, illegitimi non carborundum :]
 
Ive met both parties (don't do it!/ good job!) and it seems like nobody really has a firm basis for why medicine is a good choice (the pro party is not in medicine, the con party somehow got jammed into it by the parents or whatever). Make your story what matters to you......

and as far as the "why would you waste your youth at school?" spiel, I've seen plenty of people enjoy the hell outta their youth.....and now work menial jobs with no real up and no way out.....I'll "waste" my youth in the library, thank you very much!

just remember the grass is always greener on the other side.......everybody feels like their career path could have gone better....
 
My parents, and they still are against it. I LOL.
 
Every doctor I've spoken with has told me the same thing.

Me too. I've never met a doctor that didn't try to discourage me from medicine, including my own family doctor.
 
One friend did. He said it would be too tough. Given my high school performance he was valid in saying that.

That was over 2 years ago when I decided to return to school at 23 with a lot of new life experience.

Now, having done quite well, he is telling me I should be shooting for top schools. lol

Everyone else is very encouraging, especially my mother and grandmother. They keep trying to pay for everything I need telling me they don't mind as long as I keep up the grades and do my best. :)

That said, I am often hesitant to admit that I want to get into medicine. I feel like I have not yet earned the right to say I am pursuing medicine. Once I get into medical school I think I will be comfortable with admitting my plans. I don't lack confidence in my ability to get in, I just think it is inappropriate to claim to be studying to get into medicine until you actually are at a school studying to get into medicine.
 
I think being a doctor is the most stable/financially secure/socially admired job for a naive idealistic person who would feel empty and sad if he/she doesn't get to tangibly work with and help people on a daily basis.

But for everybody else it's becoming less and less worthwhile.


That said, I am often hesitant to admit that I want to get into medicine. I feel like I have not yet earned the right to say I am pursuing medicine. Once I get into medical school I think I will be comfortable with admitting my plans. I don't lack confidence in my ability to get in, I just think it is inappropriate to claim to be studying to get into medicine until you actually are at a school studying to get into medicine.

I tell people I want to be a doctor... but I add a "...hopefully" at the end :p
 
My parents are very supportive. They'd be just as happy if I was a nurse, NP, PA etc which they always bring up, because they feel that medicine is just such a long journey and they're afraid I might not make it which is true because only a handful gets accepted.

But we'll see how it goes. Just gonna do my best and hope that everything turns out well and let the things that are uncontrollable roll on its own.
 
Just some threads on SDN, but....

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My family is extremely supportive. My fiance's family..not so much. All her father does is belittle my future plans.

The doctors I shadow also paint somewhat of a "doom and gloom" picture on bad days. But every profession has their bad days.
 
I usually don't care what other people say.. And I have had people say both - support and no.. I don't have a single ounce of doubt.. As long as I get into Medical School.. I will be a doctor.
 
This past week, I had a chance to see some extended family (great aunts, cousins, etc) that I haven't seen in 5+ years. All of my relatives asked the traditional questions (Where are you going? What's your major? Do you have a roommate?), but when they asked me what I ultimately wanted to do in life, and I told them medicine, a lot of them seemed discouraging. Some were thrilled, obviously, but others said comments like "Too much work, not enough pay. You're better off doing something else." or "Why would you destroy these young years of your life with all of this schooling?" I've also had friends say similar things. Have any of you been told not to become a doctor by friends/family?

An ER doc and radiologist have both told me to become a lawyer instead, but I've also talked to encouraging docs. A relative continually tried to convince me to be either a dentist or pharmacist. My father tried to convince me to become a vet (took him years to accept the fact I was serious about medical school)... now he claims to have been supportive of me "the whole time." And now tells everyone how his "rich doctor daughter" is going to pay for his retirement :rolleyes:.

As others have said, try not to listen to other people and do what you want to do. If you really want to do medicine, don't let others discourage you!
 
Most doctors I've interacted with like family friends and the doctors that have treated me have shown nothing but support. They seemed to love what they do and had fairly balanced lives.
Perhaps I've been fortunate to not have come across any really bitter physicians. Even one or two family friends that said that the medical field is really tough these days and better options exist showed support and encouragement.
I think at this point, the decision comes down to you. No one can or should change your mind, you take into consideration what others say, but ultimately do what you feel is right.
 
My husband was excited when I told him that I wanted to be a doctor.
 
My family supports me 100%. However, I have ran into a couple of people who say, "You're a girl. Why don't you just be a nurse?"

Did you kick them in the gonads, Dino?


Most of the discouragement I have heard from people have come from pre-meds who aren't my friends, and who tend to be passive agressive anyway, so I take their criticisms with a grain of salt.

My father has always been leery of me going into the medical/health or scientific fields. He wanted me to become an accountant or something similar. When my interest was psychology, he wanted me to do industrial psychology, so I would be close to the business field.

After awhile I managed to convince him that I really did love medicine and he has been more leaning supportive than anything. I think part of it comes from the fact that he dropped out of college and only completed his online MBA two years ago, so some part of him might be thinking that if I don't become super successful, his life will be more validated. That and he doesn't seem to like doctors.
 
This past week, I had a chance to see some extended family (great aunts, cousins, etc) that I haven't seen in 5+ years. All of my relatives asked the traditional questions (Where are you going? What's your major? Do you have a roommate?), but when they asked me what I ultimately wanted to do in life, and I told them medicine, a lot of them seemed discouraging. Some were thrilled, obviously, but others said comments like "Too much work, not enough pay. You're better off doing something else." or "Why would you destroy these young years of your life with all of this schooling?" I've also had friends say similar things. Have any of you been told not to become a doctor by friends/family?

Eh, somewhat.

And I respect everyone's opinions, but I only really ever take into consideration the advice that comes from people in the medical field.

The general public has no idea what goes on in med school. I tell friends I'm going to medical school and then they say things like..."I thought you already were pre-med for 4 years...why do you have to do another 4 years?" or "what medical field are you going to major in at medical school?" or things like that. So, I would take into consideration where the advise is coming from of course.
 
Post-docs and students in my research lab told me to get my PhD instead of becoming a doctor because I was "too smart." I tended to disagree, plus I'd hate getting my PhD.
 
My family supports me 100%. However, I have ran into a couple of people who say, "You're a girl. Why don't you just be a nurse?"

Funny. I get this from my mother and I'm a guy. Mostly because she thinks it's insane that I'm 37 and looking down the barrel of a decade+ of training. In fact, of all the people I know, my parents are the least supportive, ranging from the above from my mother to "well, it's your money, do what you want" from my dad. Though they're the first to point out my name on the High Honors list when the paper publishes it.

Literally every other person in my life has been supportive and encouraging beyond the "you're crazy, but I only say that because there's no way in hell I could work full time and do school full time like you are" jokes. The women in my life seem to especially love it, so I'm not complaining.

In the end, though, it just reminds me that I'm doing this for me and not for anyone else.
 
I've heard the same from bankers, teachers, lawyers, and engineers. I think you'll find this in every career.

This. Every career has unsatisfied people in it.
 
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