Do you ever feel like you don't want to work in healthcare when you are sick?

[optimistic3]

So two years ago I was diagnosed with cancer and underwent 6 months of chemo. It was a really rough time in my life. I was pre-med before that but during my time off from school (I took spring and summer semesters off so I had a lot of free time), I had come to the conclusion that there was no way that I wanted to work in healthcare and be around sick patients seeing the pain and suffering that they go through. Well after I was finished with treatment and was feeling better, I no longer felt like that and I was more confident than ever in my decision to pursue medicine.

Fast forward to this week and I had some surgery on Monday to make sure my cancer had not returned (no results yet...) and recovery was a lot rougher than I was expecting. As I was feeling sick and miserable again, I had those same thoughts pop into my head about not wanting to be in healthcare. Now that I'm feeling so much better, the idea is gone.

Do you think these are normal thoughts? Does this ever happen to you if you've ever been very sick before?

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[Promethean]

We cannot forget that above all else, we are human beings. Of course we will have feelings, and of course they will vacillate with our own states of health. Change is the only certainty. If you can hold in mind, through dark and despairing times, that they are not lasting, then you don't accidentally define your entire future over a temporary problem.

It is perfectly normal, when in the midst of one's own illness and treatment, to want nothing more to do with this work. You are just feeling what many other patients feel, only you have a more keen perspective on it. It is also very normal, when one bounces back, to feel immense compassion for others who are going through experiences that you can now recognize, and to want to do the work in order to help them. These are not mutually exclusive feelings... they are all part of the same process.

Congratulations. You have a fully functional heart.

 

[toutou]

We cannot forget that above all else, we are human beings. Of course we will have feelings, and of course they will vacillate with our own states of health. Change is the only certainty. If you can hold in mind, through dark and despairing times, that they are not lasting, then you don't accidentally define your entire future over a temporary problem.

It is perfectly normal, when in the midst of one's own illness and treatment, to want nothing more to do with this work. You are just feeling what many other patients feel, only you have a more keen perspective on it. It is also very normal, when one bounces back, to feel immense compassion for others who are going through experiences that you can now recognize, and to want to do the work in order to help them. These are not mutually exclusive feelings... they are all part of the same process.

Congratulations. You have a fully functional heart.

I love this. I would like to print this out and paste it everywhere I feel that needs one.

 

[NickNaylor]

These experiences can also provide valuable insight that might change how you practice medicine. Many people don't have the experience of actually being a patient beyond run-of-the-mill medical complaints. I don't think everyone should be begging to be stricken with some kind of serious disease in the hopes of gaining that perspective, but the truth is that you're made aware of aspects of the experience that many physicians can only receive second-hand. It makes it easier to empathize with patients and families when you've been through the experience yourself. That might also be a bad thing in some ways, but when it comes to being compassionate - to having a heart, as @Promethean says - I think those kinds of experience are immensely valuable and can shape your development as a physician in very positive ways.

 

[lumpyduster]

I totally get where you're coming from. I was really sick once too - not cancer, but an illness that was enough to need to spend time at the hospital and have some surgery. First it sucked because I had no idea what was wrong with me, and I felt like crap, had literally no energy. And yes, when I was in the hospital I wanted nothing to do with medicine for the same reasons as you.

After it was all said and done I wasn't feeling so scared, exhausted, and in pain, I was so grateful for my healthcare providers, who took excellent care of me. Without this experience I don't think I realize how being really sick can make you feel so helpless at times, and I found a renewed motivation for medicine.

I've been fortunate in that I haven't had a flare up of what I experienced before, but I think what you're feeling is totally normal, just because I have felt that way too. I really hope everything is okay with you and that we can one day consider each other as colleagues.

 

[optimistic3]

Thank you all for your extremely kind words. I truly appreciate it all. I don't think you have to have had a serious illness to be a good physician but I think it'll give me something that can't be taught. There is absolutely no way I can articulate how exactly chemo made me feel physically so I know I will be able to connect with future cancer patients on that level first hand. You all sound like you will make wonderful physicians who know how to comfort and counsel someone