Do you think you'll meet your wife/husband in med school?

[Narmerguy]

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[iceman132]

Happy house husbands, they exist.

I don't think this applies here. This is for doctors who want to meet other doctors. I also don't think men are as nurturing as women. Are they incapable of raising children? No. But they generally don't do as well of a job as women.

I'd love to have a discussion about this so yes, I am trying to "start something."

A lot of women become PAs/nurses because of this exact reason. I know one woman who regrets becoming a doctor because she had to exit the field after having a child and had a TON of loans.

 

[Torr]

A lot of women become PAs/nurses because of this exact reason. I know one woman who regrets becoming a doctor because she had to exit the field after having a child and had a TON of loans.

Why would a woman have to leave medicine because she had a child? There are women having children DURING med school and doing well. Were there special circumstances that made her quit?

 

[iceman132]

Why would a woman have to leave medicine because she had a child? There are women having children DURING med school and doing well. Were there special circumstances that made her quit?

Define "doing well". How much time do they have to take care of their children while becoming a doctor.

She decided that she would rather spend her days taking care of her children rather then practicing medicine. I don't know if you have any children (I don't) but from what I understand they need a TON of attention.

 

[Torr]

I don't know if you have any children (I don't) but from what I understand they need a TON of attention.

Lol. Yes, I've heard this as well.

I get what you're saying. It's nothing new. I just don't think you need to go there. If you want a woman who will stay home with the kids then that's what you want and you have a right to look for a woman who wants that too.

However, there are women that can be physicians and be great mothers. You won't have as much time to dedicate to your children but I've seen it done successfully. Define/interpret that in whichever way you like.

 

[n3xa]

I don't think this applies here. This is for doctors who want to meet other doctors.

For single pre-meds? Do you think you'll meet your future husband/wife in med school? Do you prefer someone in another field? Disregard looks, personality, bank account, etc. Who's hoping that med school has other perks like meeting their McDreamy?

wat

 

[iceman132]

wat

I'm mistaken on the thread topic. Apologies. My views remain the same.

 

[Astarael]

It's not like children have never been successfully raised by other family members. I know, for example, that if I end up marrying another doctor, my parents (and grandparents as well) would love to spend as much time with any kids I have as possible. It poses unique challenges, of course, but they certainly aren't insurmountable.

As to the original question in this thread, I think it would be nice to meet my future wife in medical school. Having similar interests is great. But only time will tell if that happens, and I'm certainly not going to go into it planning on when/where I'll meet someone. It happens when it happens.

 

[Geekchick921]

Mass Effect 3 got delayed to 2012 (-__________________-)

I know! I'm disappointed. I was hoping we'd get it for Christmas, but as long as it's out that I can play it during the summer between M1 and M2 I'll be happy.

Will you go out with me?

Happy house husbands, they exist.

My husband wants to work from home but our kids will still go to daycare and then school. But if they need to come home sick, he can get them easier than I can, and he will be there when they get home from school more often than I will, get them a snack and set them up to do their homework. I'm hoping I can make my specialty choice work with my family life fairly easily, but I know I won't really have that option during post-graduate training, and our oldest will be starting grade school the same year I start residency.

Define "doing well". How much time do they have to take care of their children while becoming a doctor.

She decided that she would rather spend her days taking care of her children rather then practicing medicine. I don't know if you have any children (I don't) but from what I understand they need a TON of attention.

Sure they do. They also can go to daycare and then, obviously, school.

I was working PT while I was studying for the MCAT. I got to study on days I was home, and my daughter (who was less than 18 months old at the time) was with me. I only needed to really be away from her when I was taking practice tests, at which point we'd try to get her to nap and if not, my husband would keep her occupied in another room. I also finished my pre-reqs when she was an infant (I had her a week after fall finals and went back to finish my last 2 pre-reqs when she was 3 weeks old). I did more than alright. Ask me in three months how I'm doing in medical school, but I'm not particularly worried.

It's not like children have never been successfully raised by other family members. I know, for example, that if I end up marrying another doctor, my parents (and grandparents as well) would love to spend as much time with any kids I have as possible. It poses unique challenges, of course, but they certainly aren't insurmountable.

It takes a village to raise a child, as the saying goes. We don't bother family too often for childcare, we just ask my mom to babysit every few weekends so we can have a date. If my in-laws (who are retired) were local, though, they'd probably be watching Chicklet every day. I wish they hadn't moved so far away. We'd have so much more money.

 

[StudyShy]

It takes a village to raise a child, as the saying goes. We don't bother family too often for childcare, we just ask my mom to babysit every few weekends so we can have a date. If my in-laws (who are retired) were local, though, they'd probably be watching Chicklet every day. I wish they hadn't moved so far away. We'd have so much more money.

It sure does take a village! In other cultures this is completely normal and expected. I think that you will have no trouble in med school.

 

[Astarael]

It takes a village to raise a child, as the saying goes.

That's the saying I was trying to think of! I knew there was one when I was writing my post, but I couldn't recall it. Thanks

 

[LaFleur]

It's not like children have never been successfully raised by other family members. I know, for example, that if I end up marrying another doctor, my parents (and grandparents as well) would love to spend as much time with any kids I have as possible. It poses unique challenges, of course, but they certainly aren't insurmountable.

As someone whose parents were working a lot while she was growing up and didn't have too much time to spend with their kids, I can definitely say that I was raised well and I appreciated having my grandparents to raise me and spend time with me. I appreciate what my parents did for themselves and for me, as well. I understand the sacrifices they made and I would not have had them do it any other way. Quite honestly, I also love how close we all are as a result.

Just saying it can work out.

 

[iceman132]

I know! I'm disappointed. I was hoping we'd get it for Christmas, but as long as it's out that I can play it during the summer between M1 and M2 I'll be happy.





My husband wants to work from home but our kids will still go to daycare and then school. But if they need to come home sick, he can get them easier than I can, and he will be there when they get home from school more often than I will, get them a snack and set them up to do their homework. I'm hoping I can make my specialty choice work with my family life fairly easily, but I know I won't really have that option during post-graduate training, and our oldest will be starting grade school the same year I start residency.



Sure they do. They also can go to daycare and then, obviously, school.

I was working PT while I was studying for the MCAT. I got to study on days I was home, and my daughter (who was less than 18 months old at the time) was with me. I only needed to really be away from her when I was taking practice tests, at which point we'd try to get her to nap and if not, my husband would keep her occupied in another room. I also finished my pre-reqs when she was an infant (I had her a week after fall finals and went back to finish my last 2 pre-reqs when she was 3 weeks old). I did more than alright. Ask me in three months how I'm doing in medical school, but I'm not particularly worried.



It takes a village to raise a child, as the saying goes. We don't bother family too often for childcare, we just ask my mom to babysit every few weekends so we can have a date. If my in-laws (who are retired) were local, though, they'd probably be watching Chicklet every day. I wish they hadn't moved so far away. We'd have so much more money.

Becoming a doctor is more then just a 9-5 sort of thing. Daycare and school only go so far (And I would think that daycare is a far worse option then having a mother take care of them on a daily basis until kindergarten)

From talking to other doctors they have had to miss tons of children's activities in order to maintain their spot. (At least they had their mother to go to these events with).

I would like to ask a current doctor or med school student how they realistically do this with two parents who have such a high demanding work load.

 

[LaFleur]

Becoming a doctor is more then just a 9-5 sort of thing. Daycare and school only go so far (And I would think that daycare is a far worse option then having a mother take care of them on a daily basis until kindergarten)

From talking to other doctors they have had to miss tons of children's activities in order to maintain their spot. (At least they had their mother to go to these events with).

I would like to ask a current doctor or med school student how they realistically do this with two parents who have such a high demanding work load.

Both of my parents are physicians and were busy passing their USMLEs and doing their residencies/specializations after we moved to the US. We are lucky we had my grandparents to take care of us. You make it work. Like I said, I, personally, would not have had my parents do it any other way. Yes, there were music recitals and athletic competitions that were missed (one of my parents couldn't get off for my HS graduation even and at that point was an attending), but really in the grand scheme of things there are things that matter to me so much more. My parents have always been my biggest supporters, and they were always trying to be there/there when I really needed them. I know that they'll always have my back and that I can contact them if I need someone to talk to or if I need help.

Yes, it's nice to always be there for your kids, but that's not always possible, and it definitely doesn't mean that your kids will necessarily grow up unhappy. It's just a little different, that's all.

 

[Staradmiral]

Are you kidding? as if i would ever marry a doctor...

i need me a woman who is there for the kids, not patients..

 

[iceman132]

Both of my parents are physicians and were busy passing their USMLEs and doing their residencies/specializations after we moved to the US. We are lucky we had my grandparents to take care of us. You make it work. Like I said, I, personally, would not have had my parents do it any other way. Yes, there were music recitals and athletic competitions that were missed (one of my parents couldn't get off for my HS graduation even and at that point was an attending), but really in the grand scheme of things there are things that matter to me so much more. My parents have always been my biggest supporters, and they were always trying to be there/there when I really needed them. I know that they'll always have my back and that I can contact them if I need someone to talk to or if I need help.

Yes, it's nice to always be there for your kids, but that's not always possible, and it definitely doesn't mean that your kids will necessarily grow up unhappy. It's just a little different, that's all.

You are an exception and FAR from the rule. I'm not worried about the kids being "unhappy" as much as I am worried about society.

This is a post from another forum that sums up my thoughts about 2 parents working:

I have every right to say that a majority of today's kids have little or no respect for authority. I see it every damn day. I have a 9 year old and he's exposed to the other children in the neighborhood. Keeping in mind that this is a nicer neighborhood, not slums.. inner city or full of section 8 families. We have Trenton down the street, age 8 who flips off cars that get mad at him for not moving off the road. He gives lip to adults when they correct him, yesterday is was tearing up a phone book and littering down the road. Simon, age 9 who had the cops over because he pulled a big ass bowie knife on another kid and threatened him. Cameron and Jojo, both 7 or 8 who are bullies. Payne who is a compulsive liar and downright rude.

At hockey we have kids who are a tad better off financially, they are the 'instant gratification' children. They get what they want NOW and throw tantrums if they don't get it. Have everything handed to them, backtalk their parents etc.

None of the children in the first group have ANY parental supervision. They walk out of their homes at 9 AM on the weekends and are still seen roaming the streets at close to 10 PM. Schooldays it's after school till very late. No one checks on them, no one monitors where they go or who they spend time with.

I'm in retail stores daily where I see kids pulling things off the shelves, opening things only to have parents throw them back on the shelves, throw tantrums because they can't have a certain cereal. Parents hand them the cereal.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but no way in hell does my kid get away with that. I've had several people on the block tell me he's the most well behaved kid around, polite and respectful.

I was raised that way. You respect your elders, you say please and thank you. You ask for something knowing you don't always get it.. be thankful when you do and don't throw a fit when you don't.

You're expected to be polite and respectful to teachers and other students.

So much of the lack of parenting is due to 2 parents working. No one has time for their kids. They parents think it falls to the school system or to society to teach them right from wrong or how to deal with people. The schools are so handcuffed by what they are and are not allowed to do it's ridiculous !

I have friends that are teachers and they've been told not to grade papers in red ink because red is a sign of anger and it causes depression or feelings of under achievement in some students. WTF. No child left behind blows and the fact that corporal punishment was banned.. terrible move. The kids have no reason to fear or respect the authorities at the school.

This woman had every right to defend herself by striking that student. He's bigger than her and chances are if he hits her first, he could do serious and permanent damage to a 64 year old woman.

Until you are out there as a parent and seeing what is going on, you don't have much of a leg to stand on where parenting is concerned. Overall, the parenting of the last 20 years has gone terribly wrong. Kids know you can't hit them in public. They use that and it's bulls***

 

[Geekchick921]

You are an exception and FAR from the rule. I'm not worried about the kids being "unhappy" as much as I am worried about society.

This is a post from another forum that sums up my thoughts about 2 parents working:

I have every right to say that a majority of today's kids have little or no respect for authority. I see it every damn day. I have a 9 year old and he's exposed to the other children in the neighborhood. Keeping in mind that this is a nicer neighborhood, not slums.. inner city or full of section 8 families. We have Trenton down the street, age 8 who flips off cars that get mad at him for not moving off the road. He gives lip to adults when they correct him, yesterday is was tearing up a phone book and littering down the road. Simon, age 9 who had the cops over because he pulled a big ass bowie knife on another kid and threatened him. Cameron and Jojo, both 7 or 8 who are bullies. Payne who is a compulsive liar and downright rude.

At hockey we have kids who are a tad better off financially, they are the 'instant gratification' children. They get what they want NOW and throw tantrums if they don't get it. Have everything handed to them, backtalk their parents etc.

None of the children in the first group have ANY parental supervision. They walk out of their homes at 9 AM on the weekends and are still seen roaming the streets at close to 10 PM. Schooldays it's after school till very late. No one checks on them, no one monitors where they go or who they spend time with.

I'm in retail stores daily where I see kids pulling things off the shelves, opening things only to have parents throw them back on the shelves, throw tantrums because they can't have a certain cereal. Parents hand them the cereal.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but no way in hell does my kid get away with that. I've had several people on the block tell me he's the most well behaved kid around, polite and respectful.

I was raised that way. You respect your elders, you say please and thank you. You ask for something knowing you don't always get it.. be thankful when you do and don't throw a fit when you don't.

You're expected to be polite and respectful to teachers and other students.

So much of the lack of parenting is due to 2 parents working. No one has time for their kids. They parents think it falls to the school system or to society to teach them right from wrong or how to deal with people. The schools are so handcuffed by what they are and are not allowed to do it's ridiculous !

I have friends that are teachers and they've been told not to grade papers in red ink because red is a sign of anger and it causes depression or feelings of under achievement in some students. WTF. No child left behind blows and the fact that corporal punishment was banned.. terrible move. The kids have no reason to fear or respect the authorities at the school.

This woman had every right to defend herself by striking that student. He's bigger than her and chances are if he hits her first, he could do serious and permanent damage to a 64 year old woman.

Until you are out there as a parent and seeing what is going on, you don't have much of a leg to stand on where parenting is concerned. Overall, the parenting of the last 20 years has gone terribly wrong. Kids know you can't hit them in public. They use that and it's bulls***

Yes, because having 2 working parents has anything to do with a child being polite and respectful, and working parents cannot possibly equal attentive parents. GMAFB.

However, I completely agree with the bolded above.

Daycare and school only go so far (And I would think that daycare is a far worse option then having a mother take care of them on a daily basis until kindergarten)

 

[AntiHouseMD]

I agree that kids aren't as respectful as they were in the past, and I agree that a non-parent can't really answer the question. However, to blame it on two parents working is simply ignoring the actual problem. Two parents who work could raise excellent children, and a couple with a parent who stays at home may raise terrible children. More a matter of the quality of the parents.

 

[235788]

if you want a divorce

 

[LaFleur]

if you want a divorce

I've actually seen data that indicates that the divorce rate between physician-physician marriages is lower than the divorce rate between physician-non-physician marriages. This makes sense to me.

If I can find the data again, I'll pull it up for you, but I don't remember what I was googling at that point.

 

[LaFleur]

I agree that kids aren't as respectful as they were in the past, and I agree that a non-parent can't really answer the question. However, to blame it on two parents working is simply ignoring the actual problem. Two parents who work could raise excellent children, and a couple with a parent who stays at home may raise terrible children. More a matter of the quality of the parents.

 

[FunnyCurrent]

My goal is to marry a CRNA/NP/PA (generally younger than MD/DO at date of completion) before the end of 2nd year. That way I can have nice things through medical school and residency.


...

I'm not joking

 

[shaggy alfresco]

So much of the lack of parenting is due to 2 parents working. No one has time for their kids.

Both of my parents busted their ass for 90 hours a week in low paying jobs. I was raised right because I saw their work ethic and it was instilled in me from a young age. And getting the **** beat out of me when I went out of line also helped. It'd be much worse to have one parent at home constantly doting and fawning over you - that's how spoiled brats are made cause the parents just focus on you and you become a precious little princess.

 

[patel2]

My goal is to marry a CRNA/NP/PA (generally younger than MD/DO at date of completion) before the end of 2nd year. That way I can have nice things through medical school and residency.


...

I'm not joking

if you do that...don't beome an anesthesiologist (srs)

 

[iceman132]

Yes, because having 2 working parents has anything to do with a child being polite and respectful, and working parents cannot possibly equal attentive parents. GMAFB.

However, I completely agree with the bolded above.

You think having a full time job with 8+ hour shifts and always being on call + being a full time parent is easier/more reasonable then just being a full time parent?

I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. NO I don't think you can be an equally attentive parent (On a broad spectrum) Most people are not that gifted or have that much willpower. I'm living in the real word here. Quality matters of course but having a parent who is home for the majority of the time is a much more structured environment.

Let me make it clear that I am talking about two people in a work environment that is highly demanding (Doctor/Lawyer/Wall Street businessman etc). Not a regular 9-5 job (Which is difficult but not nearly as strenuous)

 

[muhali3]

When kids are young it is very important to be attentive, but as they get older they don't need your attention as much. They spend 5 days a week at school from 9-4. Then they have homework and will be involved with friends and maybe extracurricular activities. So for 45-55 hrs/wk or more, the kids are doing things that don't require parental involvement.

 

[Lokhtar]

You think having a full time job with 8+ hour shifts and always being on call + being a full time parent is easier/more reasonable then just being a full time parent?

)

90% of annoying brats exist in this world because their stay at home parent does nothing but dot around and spoil their precious little snowflake. I dont get why anyone would stay at home but to each his own I suppose.

 

[Physics241]

What is scary is I met a early 30s extremely handsome male doc who was an anesthesiologist and could not fathom why he was still single....is it really tht hard for a male doc to meet women? Or perhaps it's selectiveness? It boggles my mind.

 

[JHU 2010]

What is scary is I met a early 30s extremely handsome male doc who was an anesthesiologist and could not fathom why he was still single....is it really tht hard for a male doc to meet women? Or perhaps it's selectiveness? It boggles my mind.

nice necro bump, one more week and this thread would have been six months retired.

i haven't perused this monster, but i can respond to the title and say that yes, i would love to meet my wife in med school. i have found that i am really only attracted to women that are at least at the stage of life that i am, in terms of education and interests, and thus, once a med student, i can think of no type of person i would rather date.

that being said, it's quite a nebulous topic, and i like to keep an open mind. the dating scene in grad school has been absolute rubbish, and so i'm not expecting too much from med school. if nothing works out, than that's okay too! if i escape med school without being tied down then i can finally travel! do doc's without borders or CDC's EIS!

 

[Physics241]

aaaah yes, practicing my resuscitation skills.... and as horrible as this may sound.....it makes me feel bit better that guys experience something somewhat similar....thanks for helping me bring back the zombieeeee

 

[maybemed2013]

No. I think I can meet my hubby on eharmony.

 

[One Hip Guy]

I just want a woman who is at least slightly cute, takes care of herself, is a decent person, and realizes that it takes constant work to keep a relationship solvent. If I find a girl like that in med school, great. If not, then no.

Or....just marry a hot girl in medical school w/ a pre-nup. Sounds all good to me

 

[deleted390966]

Yup. Medical Biochem would be my spouse

 

[Physics241]

Is that really that hard to find in your opinion?

 

[BurntFlower]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years but if that doesn't work out, I would love to find my future spouse in med school.

 

[mansi619]

haha yess i sure hope soo =]

 

[mcatdestroyer]

probably not

 

[Jnet389]

haha yess i sure hope soo =]

How did you even find this thread lol

 

[xXIDaShizIXx]

Marriage? No thanks. There's been too much relationship drama in my life already.

All I need is some strong scotch whisky and a loyal dog.

Best answer I have read so far.

 

[plasmodium]

Nvm.

 

[Optimus Lime]

I hope not. I want to enjoy life unrestricted and travel the world without being tied down to a woman or a family for at least a decade or two after finishing all my school jazz. Ideally, getting married around 40 to 50.

 

[plasmodium]

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[mohad]

Oh man, I hope I do. I sure won't be hitting the bars on a regular basis to find girls. If I can't find a decent girl at med school, I'll just post a facebook status saying that I'll marry the first girl that comments. I'll include something about being her sugar daddy just to increase their incentive to post. If that doesn't work out, I may have to kill myself.

 

[seahawks2013]

sfl (single for life)

 

[newkid1]

First things first: everyone looks for something different in his/her spouse. As for me, a guy, I like girls who are more artsy and relaxed rather than someone who hits the books hard and is very career motivated/drive. I guess I like a family woman above all, a mother who attends to our children, and not patients lol. idk, maybe I'm too old school but family is the most important. Two doctors under the same roof makes that difficult.

 

[Keepitclassy]

probably not

I feel your pain

 

[lobo.solo]

Not in med school, but in the hospital

 

[GomerPyle]

Are there even hot girls in medical school? And by hot, I mean 8/10+?

inb4 "its not about looks"

 

[newkid1]

are there even hot girls in medical school? And by hot, i mean 8/10+?

Inb4 "its not about looks"

+1

 

[Haislip]

Shooot, I better meet a husband in Med school. Undergrad is not looking so good (literally).