Dear Medical School X,
I almost laughed when I saw your paltry financial aid package, but I realized that I can't ask too much of an institution as disadvantaged as yourself (you
are only top 20 after all.) I'm happy to say I won't be walking your unswept halls the next four years, and judging from the average caliber of the students that will be, maybe some will end up employed with you for the very purpose of making those floors more attractive to applicants
. Attached are copies of my other acceptances and full-tuition scholarships from institutions that are above your level of mediocrity, along with a video of me dancing. See you at residency interviews!
Sincerely,
RB