Doubts

[Apparition]

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I am a pre-med student planning to apply to med school next year. It seems like my classmates and most SDNers have always dreamed of a career in medicine and are completely certain that they have chosen the right path. But I have about a million of doubts. I was never pressured into medicine and I did explore other options. I've had a number of jobs in other areas and couldn't see myself in any of them for the rest of my life. After starting volunteering in a hospital, I am still unsure. Something really draws me to medicine but sometimes I want to quit and not because of classes or the work it takes. But when I consider pursuing any other career, I feel that it would not fulfill me. Maybe I'm just scared of the mundane, scared to be trapped 9-5 in a gray cubicle doing monotonous, meaningless work my whole life. I'm wondering if any of you, current med students, have struggled with the decision to go to medical school. Are you happy there now?

 

[summertime02]

Apparition
Hi I too had my doubts of going to medical school. I am just starting my 2nd year and I can tell you that no matter how bad you hear 1rst year is, it is worse than that.🙂 I have heard that 1rst year is the worst year and I fully believe that it is pretty bad. On the other hand, the information we are learning and are going to learn about is absolutely fascinating and there are not a lot of fields out there that will allow you to see and do things you get to do while in medical school. You don't have a lot of free time during school, relationships suffer because you have no time for anything but studying unless you make a huge effort to make yourself have free time. I was debating on whether or not to continue after my first year and I decided to continue because I love learning about the human body and all of its functions and I think this past year I have learned a lot about myself and how to be more efficient and effective in my studying. It all comes down to whether or not you want something bad enough and if you really think it is worth it. I think med school stinks right now but I know that I will be coming out able to work in a job I love (and make some decent money) and I don't think anything but medicine would provide me with that happiness and job satisfaction. So you need to figure out what you are willing to sacrifice and what you really love doing. Maybe you could go talk to some docs and get their opinions? I don't think medicine is for just anyone but if you really want to do it, then you will and you will be glad you did! I know I am making the right choice! Good luck deciding!🙂

 

[daisygirl]

I was pretty steadfast about my aspirations before med school, but when I got in things changed fast. Anyhow, I'll give you some background info on me....

Prior to my acceptance into med school, I was completely driven and determined that I was going to be a doctor someday. Being a doctor was the only thing that I could imagine being. I worked very hard and overcame many difficult obstacles (these were rooted in my hellish childhood/teenage years, etc...) in order to accomplish my dream. Well, my dream came to fruition and boy was I in for a surprise...🙂

I didn't realize how much I would hate first year. My hatred of first year was due to many things- I was an hour away from my husband, pets, and home (keep in mind that this was the first time in my life that I had a home that I was happy in); my undergraduate method of studying was not working in med school and I was fighting against the reality that I had to devote a lot of time to studying. Throughout most of first semester of first year, I swore that if I failed out, that I would never return. Then, at the end of first semester I freaked out, and told a dean that I would not take the anatomy final because I needed time off to decompress. This happened right before Christmas/Winter break. During the break, I slept, and I did not think about school. I returned back to school for second semester, and I wound up doing very well in my classes.

The point I want to get across is that medical school can suck for some of us, and at times it does require a great deal of sacrifice from us (this does not apply to all, some students truly have no other commitments in life other than their schoolwork). I often have feelings of angst- I often find myself wondering if the sacrifices that I have made and those that I will make will be worth it. I often miss my husband and my pets to no end. I also wonder how difficult motherhood will be for me since I will try to have a child in ~ four years (during residency 😱 - I have to since I am 27 now and my husband is 34). However, even with all of my doubts, I haven't thrown in the towel. For some reason or another I am 'possessed' that I have to be doctor. I came too far in life and fought a hard battle to be where I am, so, I guess I'm destined to continue on my path to being a physician. Additionally, I am very happy with the choice that I have made, even though I still have doubts at times.

So, the 'golden nugget' I'm trying to get across to you in all of my verbiage is that it is quite normal to second-guess your aspirations. I actually think that it is a good thing that you are wondering if your professional aspirations are a good fit for you. It is far worse to figure out later, after you have devoted much time, effort and money, that you detest what you?re doing in life. Also, do yourself a big favor; don't pay attention to your fellow pre-meds. I happen to believe that many of them are not completely honest when it comes to discussing med school issues. The med school admissions process seems to get many students' 'panties up in a bunch'.

 

[Wednesday]

Hi Apparition,

I think it's amazing how most premeds seem to have been born wanting to be a physician. One almost gets the idea that deciding on medicine later in life (high school, college or beyond) makes one less dedicated to the choice. Personally I didn't even entertain the idea until I was 24 or so. I did a lot of research and volunteering and soul searching at that point and decided to pursue it. And I have to say that when I started school (last fall) I had a whole new set of doubts about my choice.

The thing is that I doubt that most people are 100% sure about the choice to pursue medicine and the majority have absolutely no idea what the choice actually means in terms of impact on their life. And truthfully you can't really know what it will mean to you until you experience it. Even those people who are gung-ho about being a doctor will have doubts first-year (and probably several more times before school is over, not to mention residency).

Being a physician has unique demands on it's practitioners, but it is untimately just a job. Is it a job that you are interested in doing for 40 years? Who knows! All you can do is try to make an informed decision. If it ends up that you decide to do medicine and then aren't happy once you're trained, it's not the end of the world. A costly mistake but definitely not an indelible one.

Finally, waiting a few years to try out other things you might be interested in is also an option. You do not need to go straight to medical school from undergrad. You should definitely talk to some physicians about their lives and see if you see that type of life for yourself. Volunteering in a hospital usually doesn't give an adequate view of the day to day routine of a doctor. So try to get an idea of that. Perhaps all you need is a little more information to feel sure one way or another.

Good luck with whatever path you choose!

 

[carrigallen]

A well known professor at our school gave a lecture, "Medicine, an Excuse from Living".

The point was, medicine should not be an excuse from living your life to its fullest. Your obligations to your family are important and should not be neglected for the sake of your profession. I think the same goes for an undergraduate medical education. That is, if you are working too hard or spending too much time studying, then you need to reevaluate your priorities.

Does being a decent student require that I competely miss out on family time, time with friends? No...I might not make honors in many classes, but the point is a well-rounded, healthy student doesn't need to excel in everything *scholastically* in order to be recognized. Sure, I'd like to make honors on a few rotations, and I'd like to maybe go past the mean on the board exam..but scholastic achievement is not a yardstick for your absolute worth as a student.

During my interviews, no one asked about my gpa, or about my mcat. They ask about your activities, goals, family, pursuits, etc...the things which define you as a person. All i'm saying is, you need not stress about the time commitment...you can be a decent physician and still, more importantly, be a good father/mother/husband etc.