Drunk Doc

[marleybfour]

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Last night I went to a party and there was a doctor there that I knew and liked. At least, that was until last night. When she found out that I was trying to get into medical school she became nasty, sarcastic and demeaning. She said things like "Oh, what do you want to do save the world??" and when I said no she said "Oh, then you are selfish." She also said "You think there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it is nothing but a black hole." She said I was trying to prove something as I was "just a nurse." I had actually never told her my reasons for going to medical school. She never gave me a chance. I told her she was putting words in my mouth. No matter what I said, she said something negative. I think she was actually projecting her own reasons for becoming a doctor and her own unhappiness onto me. Needless to say she was drunk and obnoxious.

Regardless, this has made me very depressed. I broke into tears as soon as I got into my car and have been in a funk all day. I think I am afraid....what if she is right? What if I end up hating medicine and being a doctor? All the problems with managed care, malpractice insurance, lawsuits, nasty patients ...etc. scares the crap out of me. She is certainly not the first physician to try to talk me out of this. She is just the rudest.

Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[mvalento]

i seem to be one of the few people who have not had physicians try to talk me out of going into medicine...most of them tell me that it's a great calling.

bud

 

[Amy B]

First off, don't let this person bring you down. She is obviously an empty, depressed soul that is filled with nothing inside. She must have problems that you can't even guess at.

Secondly, I have been told by my children's pediatrician for 4 years to think of another career. He is the best doctor they have had. I aways ask him why and he can't seem to tell me. He said the problems surrounding the paper work, redtape, insurance, partners, etc... are a neverending nightmare.

So I really don't know what to tell you that can be encouraging. Just do what you feel is the best for you and your future.

Amy

 

[oldman]

i have had many doctors warn me about going into medicine. i believe many of them were used to the "golden" age of being a doctor when money was plentiful and there was a lot of freedom. Basically people are complaining due to the fact that they have experienced a change they do not like. for us, the current way of medicine is the only way we'll learn about. also remember being a doctor doesn't mean you have to stay in the states to suffer through bureaucracy here. you are free to challenge yourself in far off lands. i have family friends that have left this country to practice medicine in foreign lands. being a doctor means the world needs you. not just the US.

 

[Sonya]

I've been in a similar situation. Not really with the descision of medschool and managed care and stuff, but other things life brings you. Your reaction, thoughts, and all just sound too familiar to what i went through for me not to post.

But I let myself get to upset about things, and made it much worse for myself then it need be.
First of all realize:

* You said it: she was drunk, and not behaving with proper ettiqutte (umm, bad spelling, but you know what i mean). She's probably had too many bad experiences with others in your situation, so is throwing blatant generalizations. You never told your reasons... so what does she know about you? NOTHING. well, certainly not enough for you to let what she says make you that upset. Please don't take any of it too personal.

*But, you liked her, and thought good of her. This is just her reaction to one thing one night, when she wasn't really thinking straight. She may not have meant a lot of what she said,and would probably agree later on she was being too harsh.

Besides that, there may be a point to what she's saying. Maybe it isn't for you. But, don't let her tell you that. You need to figure that for yourself. I'm guessing maybe you are unsure of that in your mind, and she made you think of these things. It's good to think about this,and you should be sure medicine is the right path for you. Becoming a physician is a long path. Think and consider it carefully.

But feeling depressed/upset about it wont help anyone, a nd will certainly only make stuff worse. Right now it sounds like you're doing good, and you're on track. But sometime you should give yourself a while and consider whether medicine is for you, and face whatever it is that does in the back of your mind scare you about the proffesion.

Suggestions:
* If you feel this is appropriate, right a conscise clear letter to the doctor you talked with last night. Let her know you feel her behavior was innapropriate. But tell her you would be willing to rationally discuss this with her (that is if you would want to discuss it with her). "This" being why you should/should not become a doctor. But, be conscise, and say it once when your mind is clear and not emotional. And don't get into a big debate with her. Otherwise let it pass.

* Discuss whatever is your concern about the medical career with others. Several others, who have been there and done that (if i understand you're a nurse and trying to start a doctor career, i'm sure there are many other in your situation). And talking about the pros and cons and what scared them, and whether they're glad they did it. And, maybe it will help you understand your situation.

I hope this helps. I hope i don't sound too much like a psychologist... it just soo hits home to what happened to me once.

Sonya

 

[marleybfour]

Thanks for the help guys.

Even though I was upset last night, I came home and studied for the MCAT's last night and again today. I think my actions are speaking for themselves. Although I have my concerns, there is an overwhelming desire for me to go forward. I would rather apply and not get into med school, then to say I "should have tried."

As for this doctor. I suspect she may have been too drunk to even remember what she said to me last night. I have no desire or need to explain my reasons to her for wanting to become a physician. I will interact with her only when necessary at work. And there will be a "chill" in the air when I do!!

And Sonya, no you did not sound too much like a psychologist. I appreciate you taking the time and offering your advice.

 

[toledo]

hey I just thought you ought to know that the "feeling inferior as a nurse" line does not wash with me. Albeit drunk, your doctor ought to be ashamed of herself.

The Univ. of Wash. WWAMI program currently has one nurse and several EMT II's and III's in the class (out of only 10) who become interested in medicine via these fields. How else does a person get exposed to this exciting area? As an undergraduate? Perhaps some but certainly not all.

Anyway, I as well have had many physicians say "I don't know why you want to go into medicine anyway! There no more money in it"
My standard reply is
"if I wanted money I would be a real estate agent. Now, some of those people are rich."

 

[THE instiGATOR]

I've never had a physician tell me not to go into medicine. The guy I last shadowed seemed to love his job. Usually, docs ask if I am certain that this is the career for me. When I say yes, they wish me luck. Nobody has ever ragged the profession. I've never even heard the "managed care" complaints everyone talks about. Perhaps this is because I have worked only in military hospitals and academic hospitals (where physicians are salaried).

Anyway, this woman sounds annoying. If she hates her job so much, ask her if she'd be happier working as a cashier, auto mechanic, bag lady, etc... No? Wonder why not! 🙂

 

[PunkRockDoc]

I think it's natural for those of us preparing for med school to be a little scared. It's a big lifestyle change. I've been out of school and working full time in the pharmaceutical industry for a year and half. Also, some people tell me that my exposure to the medical field is limited. I've never "officially" volunteered at a hospital. But I have been around doctors, and doctors that I know have taken me around and shown me things. I've been lucky enough to be accepted to med school. And I am definitely going and I feel that it is what I am meant to do with my life. But I'm still afraid.

Besides, getting back to your doctor friend, in our society, people naturally focus on the negative. You always hear people talking about how hard things are more often they you hear them talk about the rewards. Just follow your heart, and don't let one person's feelings get in your way.