dumped by gf 1 month before test

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AlexB

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Hi guys,
I've been studying for the MCAT, am 1 month away from taking it, and just went through a really bad breakup with my gf of 4 years this week. Not looking for sympathy, I just need to know how to get her out of my head so I can focus on what's important: my MCAT. Usually I just keep busy with exercise and activities, but it is the quiet times (like when I'm studying) that she keeps running through my head.

So, I guess in a general sense, how do you personally maintain focus when you have other things that are seriously bugging you? Postponing the test is not an option at this point, I just need some advice on how to get the job done.
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AlexB said:
Hi guys,
I've been studying for the MCAT, am 1 month away from taking it, and just went through a really bad breakup with my gf of 4 years this week. Not looking for sympathy, I just need to know how to get her out of my head so I can focus on what's important: my MCAT. Usually I just keep busy with exercise and activities, but it is the quiet times (like when I'm studying) that she keeps running through my head.

So, I guess in a general sense, how do you personally maintain focus when you have other things that are seriously bugging you? Postponing the test is not an option at this point, I just need some advice on how to get the job done.
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Brutal. There's really nothing anybody can say to make you feel better.
 
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AlexB said:
Hi guys,
I've been studying for the MCAT, am 1 month away from taking it, and just went through a really bad breakup with my gf of 4 years this week. Not looking for sympathy, I just need to know how to get her out of my head so I can focus on what's important: my MCAT. Usually I just keep busy with exercise and activities, but it is the quiet times (like when I'm studying) that she keeps running through my head.

So, I guess in a general sense, how do you personally maintain focus when you have other things that are seriously bugging you? Postponing the test is not an option at this point, I just need some advice on how to get the job done.
Click to expand...

Do you have friends that are also studying for the MCAT? Maybe form a study group or something and ask them to keep you focused on studying. Go over problems together, review wrong answers, difficult topics, etc. It'll help you get your mind off things, and your friends will probably cheer you up too :).

They don't even need to be studying for the MCAT- as long as you study with other people, it'll keep your mind from wandering too much
 
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AlexB said:
Hi guys,
I've been studying for the MCAT, am 1 month away from taking it, and just went through a really bad breakup with my gf of 4 years this week. Not looking for sympathy, I just need to know how to get her out of my head so I can focus on what's important: my MCAT. Usually I just keep busy with exercise and activities, but it is the quiet times (like when I'm studying) that she keeps running through my head.

So, I guess in a general sense, how do you personally maintain focus when you have other things that are seriously bugging you? Postponing the test is not an option at this point, I just need some advice on how to get the job done.
Click to expand...

Hey, I just wanted to say first of all that I've been there and I really feel for you. It's a hard thing to go through.

Keeping busy is the easiest way, but what worked best for me is getting things straight in your head. Your emotions are involved so you're likely to look at things from a skewed perspective. I remember that every interaction I had with that girl after a certain horrible break up was completely blown out of proportion and ruminated on by me. Think about it this way: You will inevitably get over it and not really care about this in the LONG RUN, but how? Over time, it will become less of a priority to you and eventually you'll realize that you're wasting your time even thinking about it. So, help yourself along. Every time you think about her, don't let yourself get emotional. You have options. You can either allow this to negatively affect your life or positively affect it. I used to go to the gym or study when it hit hardest and when I started getting upset about it, I would think about how soon I would be a better version of myself and that version would be buff, have great grades (in med school in your case, but I was in high school), and not dependent on some girl. Just keep telling yourself how much better this process is going to make you. In the end, thing will work out great if you don't let a day go by with you not improving yourself. Trust me, it seems horrible, but I am SO glad that girl dumped me because it was the most productive thing that ever happened to me. It's all in your head, so once you get past yourself, you're home free.

Good luck, man. PM me if you have anymore questions.
 
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Continue to workout, endorphins are a free drug and will motivate you.

As for the breakup, I'll go with the regular rule #1: sever. Delete number (useless if you have it memorized, like I did), don't initiate contact, don't respond, just...sever). I just got out of a 2 year relationship (ok, so got out == dumped) and it did a number on me.

My self-motivation is probably the wrong way to go, but basically, I don't like many things about myself, and I work to fix them. :(
 
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just dont think about it. my dad died before i took my mcat. if i can do it, you can forget about your ex
 
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AlexB said:
Hi guys,
I've been studying for the MCAT, am 1 month away from taking it, and just went through a really bad breakup with my gf of 4 years this week. Not looking for sympathy, I just need to know how to get her out of my head so I can focus on what's important: my MCAT. Usually I just keep busy with exercise and activities, but it is the quiet times (like when I'm studying) that she keeps running through my head.

So, I guess in a general sense, how do you personally maintain focus when you have other things that are seriously bugging you? Postponing the test is not an option at this point, I just need some advice on how to get the job done.
Click to expand...

I don't know the specifics of your situation, but relationships are tough for people in our situation. I would imagine that it would be hard on a relationship if you are constantly studying. I assume you are spending a good deal of time on the MCAT. However, I feel that it is a strong indicator of your life during med school. That's if your relationship survives the "move". The odds are stacked against us. Many girls want to marry doctors, but most won't want to be with a guy training to be one. So perhaps this break-up is actually a blessing because if the end is inevitable, better early than later!!! I'm certain this won't make you feel any better, but push on my friend. I'm in the MCAT stage of life, so I know the process can be stressful. Hang in there. :thumbup:
 
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Sorry man, it sucks. I think we all have a sucky relationship story to tell. For me I keep grudges. Success is the best form of revenge. Get a 45 on the MCAT, go to Johns Hopkins or Harvard medical school and she will regret dumping you for the rest of her life. Make her feel the pain she is making you feel right now.

Best of luck dude. I feel for you.
 
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You need to keep busy as possible. Really don't allow yourself time to even think. And when thoughts come up, just start walking and doing something. The first 2 weeks are the hardest. Then it comes in waves. Work out or exercise is the best form of outlet for me. And, success is the best revenge. Kill the MCAT for yourself and dont let her stop you from reaching your goals.
 
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And, success is the best revenge. Kill the MCAT for yourself and dont let her stop you from reaching your goals.
Click to expand...
:thumbup:

Rock the test, and then if you ever talk to her again, make sure she knows you're a genius.
 
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You could easily push it back if you need to. I mean march is still very early to take the mcat if you want to apply in june. Youll get your scores in April if you take it next month. If you need to retake, you could and still get your scores by the middle of June, which is just fine. Also, some extra studying time could be beneficial depending on how you are doing. And i mean that regardless of the break up.
 
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Thanks everyone for your insight. I think everything that you guys said is solid advice in moving forward. I guess this goes to show that you can't really plan for certain things in life, but you can control how you react to it. This probably pales in comparison to the situation the person above said about his father. So, it's back to the drawing board; hopefully I'll come back with that 38S next time I post. Thanks guys. =]
 
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AlexB said:
Thanks everyone for your insight. I think everything that you guys said is solid advice in moving forward. I guess this goes to show that you can't really plan for certain things in life, but you can control how you react to it. This probably pales in comparison to the situation the person above said about his father. So, it's back to the drawing board; hopefully I'll come back with that 38S next time I post. Thanks guys. =]
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Inthatcase,donottaketheexamon 5/20 kthks.
 
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enTropeeeeeeeee said:
Inthatcase,donottaketheexamon 5/20 kthks.
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From the AAMC website:
Examinees often ask if earning a high score or higher percentile is easier or harder at different times of the testing year. They ask whether they have a better chance of earning a higher score in April or in August, for example. The question is based on an assumption that the exam is scored on a curve, and that a final score is dependent on how an individual performed in comparison to other examinees from the same test day or same time of year.
While there may be small differences in the MCAT exam you took compared to another examinee, the scoring process accounts for these differences so that an 8 earned on physical sciences on one exam means the same thing as an 8 earned on any other exam. The percentile provided on your score report simply indicates what percentage of examinees from the previous testing year scored the same as you did on the MCAT exam.
How you score on the MCAT exam, therefore, is not reflective of the particular exam you took--including the time of day, the test date, or the time of year--since any difference in difficulty level is accounted for when calculating your scale scores (see above for information about scaling).

AKA No curve. Don't worry about other people who are taking it that day!
 
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iMEDatUCI said:
From the AAMC website:
Examinees often ask if earning a high score or higher percentile is easier or harder at different times of the testing year. They ask whether they have a better chance of earning a higher score in April or in August, for example. The question is based on an assumption that the exam is scored on a curve, and that a final score is dependent on how an individual performed in comparison to other examinees from the same test day or same time of year.
While there may be small differences in the MCAT exam you took compared to another examinee, the scoring process accounts for these differences so that an 8 earned on physical sciences on one exam means the same thing as an 8 earned on any other exam. The percentile provided on your score report simply indicates what percentage of examinees from the previous testing year scored the same as you did on the MCAT exam.
How you score on the MCAT exam, therefore, is not reflective of the particular exam you took--including the time of day, the test date, or the time of year--since any difference in difficulty level is accounted for when calculating your scale scores (see above for information about scaling).

AKA No curve. Don't worry about other people who are taking it that day!
Click to expand...

Interesting. Thanks for info!
 
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Forget her man. Same exact thing happened to me last Sep. only few weeks before my exam. I was in a 3 1/2 yrs relationship as well.
Now I am happy that I don't have to put up with her lies for rest of my life. End up not taking my exam last year, will be taking it this May. The experience made me stronger, it will make you stronger too. Delete her phone number or change your number so she won't call you (thats what my ex did, called me for almost 2 moths after the break up, came to my apartment and ate dinner, that just hurted me even more and made me more confuse). Throw everything that she bought you out or donate them.
As they say, "What doesn't kill me, makes me only stronger", worked for me, will work for you or anybody else.
 
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I mean this is the most friendly, loving way......suck it up and channel your energy into studying. Even get mad if that helps you be motivated. Just stay focused and beast it out and then you can take care of everything else after the test...
With that said, I really feel for you and I'm sorry. Hopefully this will open up some other great opportunities in your life...
 
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Damn dude, I feel for you. Similar thing happened to me before my MCAT except we weren't together for 4 yrs. I don't think theres any way to get her out of your head. I tried to focus but I really couldn't. I ended up bombing my MCAT and I did much better when I retook it a couple of months later. Good luck to you my friend.
 
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AlexB said:
Hi guys,
I've been studying for the MCAT, am 1 month away from taking it, and just went through a really bad breakup with my gf of 4 years this week. Not looking for sympathy, I just need to know how to get her out of my head so I can focus on what's important: my MCAT. Usually I just keep busy with exercise and activities, but it is the quiet times (like when I'm studying) that she keeps running through my head.

So, I guess in a general sense, how do you personally maintain focus when you have other things that are seriously bugging you? Postponing the test is not an option at this point, I just need some advice on how to get the job done.
Click to expand...

Hey man, so sorry to hear this....same thing happened to me a month before my mcat 2 years ago. I couldnt study for a week straight and the last 3 weeks I forced myself. It really messed me up bad man I got rocked on it and got a 20!!! I was scoring between 28-32 on practices.

I definitely recommend you either postpone or just cancel until you can recover. Everyone's different though so, perhaps you can pull it off.

I totally gave up on medicine completely until recently. I'm now back studying for mcat again.

Oh and my ex broke up with me to move to california to "find herself" and we were together for 5 years at that point.
Well guess what? Karma is a bi*ch she got hers out there.

We will prevail my friend.

Best of luck to you!
 
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AlexB said:
Hi guys,
I've been studying for the MCAT, am 1 month away from taking it, and just went through a really bad breakup with my gf of 4 years this week. Not looking for sympathy, I just need to know how to get her out of my head so I can focus on what's important: my MCAT. Usually I just keep busy with exercise and activities, but it is the quiet times (like when I'm studying) that she keeps running through my head.

So, I guess in a general sense, how do you personally maintain focus when you have other things that are seriously bugging you? Postponing the test is not an option at this point, I just need some advice on how to get the job done.
Click to expand...

Having given this situation more thought, I think you should adopt an aggressive mentality for the next month. Warning, I do not believe this is a good mentality to have. However, it may serve to help you until you finish the MCAT. Just keep thinking about rocking this exam and going to a top med school. At this top med school, you'll end up in a top residency. After that you'll meet Oprah and have you own TV show like Dr. Oz. That'll show her! Again, I do not promote this mindset because it is a toxic way to live. But perhaps it could help you? Good luck!:luck:
 
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nyr201 said:
Hey man, so sorry to hear this....same thing happened to me a month before my mcat 2 years ago. I couldnt study for a week straight and the last 3 weeks I forced myself. It really messed me up bad man I got rocked on it and got a 20!!! I was scoring between 28-32 on practices.

I definitely recommend you either postpone or just cancel until you can recover. Everyone's different though so, perhaps you can pull it off.

I totally gave up on medicine completely until recently. I'm now back studying for mcat again.

Oh and my ex broke up with me to move to california to "find herself" and we were together for 5 years at that point.
Well guess what? Karma is a bi*ch she got hers out there.

We will prevail my friend.

Best of luck to you!
Click to expand...

ouch, and what did she get?
 
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