dysfunctional parents and high achievers

[iam]

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don't laugh, y'all; i'm serious here. anyone out there with dysfunctional parents that had to struggle in high school/ college as a result? alcoholics, religious fanatics, self-absorbed narcissists, absentees, etc....you name it. doesn't matter so much what the dysfunction is. the important question is how has it affected you and your goals?

i don't mean to be off topic here, but i think it's a valid question, seeing that there's no shortage of ambitious, high-achieving people here. i just wonder if there are a few among us that have had not-so-ideal family lives that have hampered or helped them along their high-achieving paths..

iam

 

[Brickhouse]

Hey - my family would definitely win some award for being nuts, but thankfully I had the intelligence to figure things out for myself and not use them as examples too much - which is probably the case for a lot of people here. I think I was most affected in that I was delayed in making decisions for my future - since I was dealing with **** from my past I didn't get into med school til just now, I'm 27. Anyway - dysfunctional families build character and make you stronger, and in the case of my fam, they put the "fun" in dysfunctional! I've never been close to a family that was all that spectacular in the mental health dept - those people tend to bore me. Why do you ask, anyway?

 

[Tiki]

I have a real jerk for a father. He pretty much told me that I would never amount to anything. In case you can't tell, I used that. Definitely influenced me to achieve as much as I could. So instead of feeling sorry for having a pretty crappy childhood, I'm glad. Made me stronger, more independent, and more determined. So I guess in a wierd way, I should thank him.

 

[Centrum]

Yes. All of the above.

 

[pekq]

Insanity and genius go hand in hand. Chances are, some of us here have parents with schizophrenia or some other kind of mental disorder.

 

[kaikai128]

My family is all of the above...However, I think I must be the resultant of the milk man. 🙂 Seeing everyone else in my family fail at things they try to do and take me down with them makes me more motivated to prove them wrong.

 

[lessismoe]

My dad was a self-absorbed alcoholic. We'd get in screaming matches at night, I would be in tears, and the next morning, he would refuse to apologize because that meant that he was an alcoholic. Very bad.

Throughout my childhood, I daydreamed about running away. I would count up the lunch money I had saved up to see if I could afford to live without my parents' help. That was really what my childhood with my father pushed me toward-- craving independence.

I guess maybe it was partially my drive to be self-sufficent that got me where I am.

 

[DrSal]

Well, my life experiences have driven me to crave independence as well. I learned growing up that you can never trust anybody. It has made me skeptical, and definitely shaped my character. I find myself trying to be all that i can so i can prove to part of my family that i was worth their sacrifice, and to prove to the other part of my family that i can amount to something, and no, i don't need their help.