Ending a relationship right before starting dental school

[Marcel2000]

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Did anyone here end a relationship right before starting dental school, and if so, how was it adjusting to being single again? I find myself in an unstable, rollercoaster relationship. I am set to start dental school in about 6 months, and I'm not sure I can deal with the drama of an unstable relationship with the stresses of dental school. My girlfriend and I live together right now. She is very jealous and insecure and undoubtedly will end up giving me a hard time for spending so much time with classmates, especially if they are female. So any experiences you guys have been through or heard of that may help me figure out my situation? Throw some light on it.

 

[coral2005]

I'm sorry you feel that way -- but you are right. I think that if you're in a rollercoaster relationship, it might be better for you to break it off before you start dental school. You don't need twice the amount of stress (at school and then at home). Luckily, I have an understanding fiance who is ready for whatever may come. Your girlfriend needs to understand that you have your priorities in life. You should talk to her about being more understanding and see where that takes you. If you both can't come to an agreement then maybe it's better that you break it off. You'll meet a lot of new people in school...maybe even a new girlfriend that shares and understands your priorities. I don't think being single is going to be that bad either -- at least in the beginning. You'll need to focus on other things.

 

[Rezdawg]

Did anyone here end a relationship right before starting dental school, and if so, how was it adjusting to being single again? I find myself in an unstable, rollercoaster relationship. I am set to start dental school in about 6 months, and I'm not sure I can deal with the drama of an unstable relationship with the stresses of dental school. My girlfriend and I live together right now. She is very jealous and insecure and undoubtedly will end up giving me a hard time for spending so much time with classmates, especially if they are female. So any experiences you guys have been through or heard of that may help me figure out my situation? Throw some light on it.

Based on what youve said regarding the relationship...end it before you start school. You will spend a lot of time away from home, in school, and with your classmates. They will become your new family...if the relationship is unstable as is, then school will make it ten times worse. Get out of it if presented the opportunity and start dental school with no distractions.

 

[Sprgrover]

I agree - as heartless as this sounds I think it would be best for you to end the relationship. Dental school can be pretty hectic at times and you'll have plenty there to keep you busy and, trust me, the last thing you will want to deal with at the end of the day is the drama you are having now.

 

[angeeeeee]

Personally, I think you should end it. It would be unfair to stay with her if you always had that doubt lingering in the back of your mind. I wouldn't want to be with someone who is less than 100% sure they wanted to be with me. Although she may have some less than agreeable qualities, it doesn't mean she doesn't deserve someone who loves her ALL the time and is sure they want to be with her. I'm not trying to make you out to be the bad guy, but if I were your girlfriend, I would want you to end it if you had this much doubt. I hope that helps, and best of luck to you!

 

[La Miraflorina]

From what you've said, you should end it regardless of D-school or not! If things are as rocky as you make them sound, you guys probably aren't right for each other... It might not be either one's fault... just that you guys are incompatible. Sit down and have a good talk with her now and if you guys can't turn things around, definitely end it even a few months before you start school. Remember, break-ups are usually a little messy and drawn out so you don't want to deal with that as you begin classes.

With that said, good luck. It's much easier for those of us not emotionally involved in the situation to sit back and give advice. But I know it's not easy for you, being that you are emotionally involved...

Oh, and about adjusting to being single again: It depends on how long you've been in the relationship but it's been my experience that it's not always as easy as you think it will be. I ended a very long relationship about 8 months ago, though not because we were incompatible (long story), and it's taken me just about the full 8 months to be able to even consider the possibility of another relationship...

But you shouldn't let your fear of adjusting to being single again enter in as a factor in your decision! It's always better to be alone than in a bad relationship! And on the same note, it's always better to be in a great relationship than alone!!

 

[blondMD]

I am premed in a grad program, and my boyfriend is a 2nd year dental student. It was tough for us at first to adjust. (We were dating over a year before he started school.) I see him on weekends and in the summer. It is hard, but not impossible. Also, he works very hard because he wants to specialize. If you are looking to just pass (which many students are looking to do) then you'll have a lot more free time on your hands. Luckily we are in similarly demanding fields ...I'm not going to lie, we spent a lot of Fri and Sat nights studying! If she loves you and wants to be with you then she'll chill out. However, if you don't think this is the girl you are going to marry then break it off. But if she IS... she might be worth it. G/L

 

[Audio]

From what you've said, you should end it regardless of D-school or not! If things are as rocky as you make them sound, you guys probably aren't right for each other... It might not be either one's fault... just that you guys are incompatible. Sit down and have a good talk with her now and if you guys can't turn things around, definitely end it even a few months before you start school. Remember, break-ups are usually a little messy and drawn out so you don't want to deal with that as you begin classes.

With that said, good luck. It's much easier for those of us not emotionally involved in the situation to sit back and give advice. But I know it's not easy for you, being that you are emotionally involved...

Oh, and about adjusting to being single again: It depends on how long you've been in the relationship but it's been my experience that it's not always as easy as you think it will be. I ended a very long relationship about 8 months ago, though not because we were incompatible (long story), and it's taken me just about the full 8 months to be able to even consider the possibility of another relationship...

But you shouldn't let your fear of adjusting to being single again enter in as a factor in your decision! It's always better to be alone than in a bad relationship! And on the same note, it's always better to be in a great relationship than alone!!

How long is a "very long relationship?" Just out of curiosity. Mine's been 3 years. It would be another 5 before we'd get married. 8 years seems like a long time. But hey, if we end up making it, then at least we'll know that we're 100% right for each other, no matter what.

 

[Sweeti8286]

Being in a relationship is all about trust. You will no doubt be spending a lot of time with your classmates. Perhaps talking to her about the future- like what to expect as far as time committed to schoolwork, studying after school, time to go into the lab to finish your projects, etc. and try to get her to understand the time committment you have to make. I personally ended a 3.5 year relationship in May...right on graduation day- 3 months before dental school started- because I feel it wasn't going anywhere. It sucked for about a month or two....(I also had a vacation out of country 3 days later) so it helped me cool off so I can start thinking rationally again about it. I am glad that it was over- even though I still sometimes have bitter feelings now and then, but it's much more tolerable. To top that off, I sometimes see my ex's father around the school- cuz he's a prof there.

I agree with La Miraflorina- d-school or not- think about if this relationship is going anywhere or not. If it isn't, then seperating wouldn't be a bad idea just to save you from the stress later on.