Engagement

[3rdMolarRoller]

Ok, here we go. I think I'm going to ask my gf next month. Already bought the ring and figured out how I'm going to do it.

Well everyone knows now except for her, but one person asked me if this was a wise decision since I have 4 years of school left.

So I come to my fellow SDNers for some advice: Do you think this might affect my performance in school? I know 100% shes "the one" so should I go with it or wait until I have my DDS?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[StarGirl]

where is she? I know a few of my classmmates got engaged last yr... one girl transfered here from harvard (she got married this summer) she was suppose to be D3, now she's a D2... i heard two couples got married at ucla this summer... so it's been done

plus if she's "the one" why are you asking this question anyways?

 

[anamod]

I think if you are in different places it may be hard. But unless you want to specialize dental does not have to be stressful at all. I'm (2nd year) married (wife 1st year) and have a 5 year old daughter. My wife and I agree that dental school does not have to be hard. The sooner you can let go of the competitve undergrad nature the easier it will be. I was gung ho entering school but quickly realized good grades does not nessecarily equate to being a good dentist.

 

[NewNameForGoogleBot]

If you're 100%, go for it. I think being married helps you and it can be a great time to be together when you are poor students!

 

[PashaJ]

hate to be the pessimist. You can get engaged but don't get married just yet since school is in the way. I only say this because you don't want to get the marriage off on this foundation, then again this will be the lowest point in your marriage and it can only get better. Anyway I think you should get married between 2nd and 3rd year since from onward it will be a lot easier.

 

[anamod]

I just don't think being in dental school should dictate anything about your personal life. I don't see how dental school would be a low point and a bad place to start out a marriage. 7 people in my class got married over the summer break. I think that iff marriage is what you want than go for it.

 

[Rob2005]

I think it depends. If you see your gf/future wife as being highly supportive of you in your adventure in the next few years, your marriage will most likely be strengthened through the grueling dental school experience. I married my wife btw my 1st and 2nd yr. Although we haven't seen each other a whole lot this past yr, we look back at the past year and let out a big sigh of relief, realizing how much crazy trials like this can bring people together.

 

[PashaJ]

I didn't say a low point but rather the lowest point in a happy healthy marriage full of highs. I realize this is a play with words but I mean you won't be able to spend as much time together as you would want or really need for a young marriage. As I said, it's my opinion and it should carry very little weight.

 

[drPheta]

Originally posted by Rob2005
I think it depends. If you see your gf/future wife as being highly supportive of you in your adventure in the next few years, your marriage will most likely be strengthened through the grueling dental school experience.

Agreed with him, and I'm sure you do see her that way, since you're this committed to her. There is definitely no harm in proposing to her now. If she can't stick it with you through these 4 years, how can she be there when you guys have your first born? What about when you're going to transition from associateship to private practice? Problems and tough times come throughout life, and those three letters after our names aren't going to bring us happy days every day.

Go for it if you're that serious. Dental school will only add to your relationship, whether dating, engaged, or married. Just don't let your marriage interfere with school, and vice versa.

 

[3rdMolarRoller]

Thanks for all the replies and so fast

A few asked, she's in Ft. lauderdale now in PA school and graduates in aug. She coming up here to do a few rotations then moving here for good in Aug.

From what many of you said, I'm doing it for sure now. Oct 15th to be exact.

 

[ItsGavinC]

Yaaaaaaayyy! Do it!

 

[Yah-E]

John:

I wish you the best! I'm 100% behind you on this proposal. I just hope that your GF doesn't lurk on SDN!

Good luck and let us know how you end up asking?

Andy

 

[Beagle]

Yeah seriously--I hope she's not looking on SDN right now!!
I don't think it's a problem if you ask her. In my opinion, an engagement is fine during school, but marriage should wait till after. If she's the one than go for it! You already have the ring picked out and she's perfect for you so do it!
GOODLUCK!

 

[3rdMolarRoller]

Hmmm...as far as I know she has no clue about SDN.

Atleast I hope so

 

[Balki]

Did you palish the stone on the ring yourself? I am joking. Wish you very best and hope it all works out. I have had many friends who married in their 3 year of dental school (in fact talked to one student recently) and even while doing residency in med school. Granted the residents /Husband and wife saw each other only once a week.
Again Go for it and a enjoy it!

 

[aphistis]

I say go for it I'll be proposing myself over Christmas break this year. The wedding will take place two summers from now--right after she graduates and I finish second year. I agree with the poster who suggested that the D2 summer is as good a time as you'll find while in school; just make sure you leave time to study for boards

 

[3rdMolarRoller]

Well Congrats aphistis!!!

Wish you two the best.

 

[tinker bell]

Congrats, gentlemen. Having someone to support/ suffer with you for 4 yrs is not a bad idea at all. Lots of ppl in my class are married, having kids....and they seem to do fine.

Wish you guys all the best

 

[StarGirl]

Originally posted by SDN9876
1. How old are you?
2. Is this your first serious gf?
3. Do you know that there are certain laws in the US that allow for a future spouse to receive compensation for being with you during years of dental school/residency in the event you get a divorce?
4. Do you have any doubts?
5. Do you wonder about other possibilities?
6. Can you focus on a relationship and school/career at the same time?
7. People change dramatically before and after dental school: Do you think you or her will change after these 4 years?

Ask yourself these [rather honest] questions and I think you'll have your answer. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

I think #3 is true for any "high education" you're in...
but from my understanding you don't get married to get a divorce.... so this stuff usually doesn't up... it's a really good pt... I believe in PreNups but from my experiences a lot of people don't... Just a suggestion

 

[3rdMolarRoller]

Yeah, I was thinking of pre-nups back in the day, but if you think about it they are contracts for divorce. If you need a pre-nup, you don't trust the person and probably shouldn't be getting married.

Plus she's going to be making good money next aug as a PA, so really a pre-nup is to my disadvantage at this point

 

[Turnpike]

.

 

[PashaJ]

ok October 15th has passed, what the dilly yo?

 

[StarGirl]

Originally posted by Brocnizer2007
Yeah, I was thinking of pre-nups back in the day, but if you think about it they are contracts for divorce. If you need a pre-nup, you don't trust the person and probably shouldn't be getting married.

I think a lot of people believe the same thing about a pre-nup... but i think it's for safety...

Plus she's going to be making good money next aug as a PA, so really a pre-nup is to my disadvantage at this point [/B]

just remember if you get married and she's done w/ school...and you're still in school... she can have the potential to half of your earning in the event of a divorce...(but you guys are going to live happily ever after )

 

[3rdMolarRoller]

I did it on oct 16th on top of the Empire State Building

She had no clue!!!

She was kinda scared up there and wanted to go down, but when I asked her she totally forgot about the fear and we hung out another 30 min on top

That was an awesome day

 

[PashaJ]

first to say...Congrats! You did it Sleepless in Seattle style.

 

[StarGirl]

the empire state building? that much be a popular place...one of my classmmates did that too (last school yr)

 

[drPheta]

Congrats!!! That's hot, the Empire State Bldg. GOOOOOOD Choice.

Let's see the ring!

 

[Comet208]

Congrats.... and more congrats....

Note to self : top of the Empire State Building is a good place to propose

 

[tinker bell]

one quick stupid question: If the spouse is entitled for half of what you make because she supports you thru school, does she get her share in paying off the humongous student loan too?

I suggest getting sugar mamma and daddy pay some part of your tuition fee, books, expenses, etc while you are in school. So, in case half of your income go to your ex, it wouldn't be that bad for you.

 

[SiMpLy IrReSiStAbLe]

Congrats Brocnizer!!!!

 

[geetanjali]

hi ItsGavinC,
pl.check ur PM....