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Enough time for my daughter? A job & school?

Discussion in 'Nontraditional Students' started by aiLoveJuh, May 11, 2008.

  1. aiLoveJuh

    aiLoveJuh ai em suh pa! 2+ Year Member

    May 11, 2008
    :hello:Hello, everyone. I am writing because I would like to know if anyone has any advice for me? Maybe a quote I can refer to whenever I doubt myself?
    I am 19 years old and I would like to become a doctor. I have one daughter who is about 4months now. I would also really like to work while I am in school to help support my family. I was wondering if anyone else has a job, kids, and goes to school? How do you manage it?
    I just need some advice, can it be done?Enough time for my daughter, school and work?
    Maybe I should work p/t or not work at all. I need some encouragement:scared:
    Thank you=D
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  3. endocardium

    endocardium 2+ Year Member

    Dec 12, 2007
    Well, I have many friends who have a family and are doing well in medical school, so, yes, it is possible. However, they all tell me that they pay the price in terms of sleep and time spent with loved ones. Having a supportive spouse or significant other can be helpful. Neverthless, I do know some single mothers who have been successful, too. So what I am saying is that if you have the will to do it, you can. Just be prepared to lose quite a bit of sleep and to sacrifice some time with your loved ones. You'll have to make the most of the time that you do have. Quality counts more in my book anyway. Furthermore, I imagine, that as a parent and a medical student, you'll have to be a pretty good planner; you may have to work your schedule more than students who do not have a family.

    In terms of working while in medical school, I don't know too many people who do it. Basically, medical school is a very intense experience and working while attending medical school is not possible for most. I do know of a person or two doing it, but it isn't any kind of regular job or anything, but more of a weekend gig. Most people will take out loans to pay for the COA and also to support their families. S/O's and spouses help, too. Sometimes, students will take a military scholarship, in return for active duty payback. In most cases, you'll have to live quite frugally, but that's the norm for a medical student. It might be a bit more difficult if you have a family, but most everyone I know in that situation is doing okay, despite the financial challenges. I would not recommend working while attending medical school. It's difficult enough on it's own.

    Good luck to you.
  4. Perrotfish

    Perrotfish Has an MD in Horribleness Physician 10+ Year Member

    May 26, 2007
  5. Kateb4

    Kateb4 7+ Year Member

    Nov 28, 2006
    Slow and steady wins this race. I am assuming that you are going to be starting your undergrad since you're only 19. I think that if you take a slow approach, work part or full time, and then take classes part time for something more along the lines of 5-6 years you will be fine. Working while in med school is another story, and not really feasable, but you have a while until you have to think of that, and by that time your daughter will probably be in school herself.

    The keys are prioritizing and time management. You need to maintain good grades to get into med school, so you may have to give up a few things. On the other hand, if you really want to be able to take your daughter to ballet class, and playgroups, you can take fewer classes over a longer period of time. Just be prepared to explain your decisions to adcom's when the time comes and be able to assure them that whatever the case was when in undergrad, you will be committed full time to med school when you are there.
  6. JRock310

    JRock310 2+ Year Member

    May 12, 2008

    im 21 years old and have a 3 1/2 year old daughter. im in my junior year of college at a small private liberal arts school right outside of boston that has a single parent program. i currently have a 3.8 and am doing really well with everything...but...i do pay the price. im lucky that i have a ton of support from my family, because they pretty much are raising my daughter right along with me so that i am able to focus as much as possible on school. i work only part time as an anatomy tutor and a writing center tutor, but like i said, it's because my family is helping me so much w/ finances, etc. it is REALLY hard to not get any sleep hardly ever, but SOOO worth it! im so happy with my decision to major in biotechnology and be pre-med! it's an amazing experience. if you ever want to know more feel free to message me :)
  7. gman33

    gman33 Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

    Aug 18, 2007
    If you are serious about pursuing medicine, make sure you pace yourself with taking classes and working. You need to keep your gpa up. A lot of people overload themselves with working and other responsibilities and their grades suffer. Better to take 6-8 years and finish with good grades.
    It can be done, but you will need some family support in your case.
  8. aiLoveJuh

    aiLoveJuh ai em suh pa! 2+ Year Member

    May 11, 2008
    Thanks so much everyone for your advice! Taking time through undergrad before Med school sounds like an option that will best suit what I need right now. I didn't really see that as a way to go but hearing everyones repsonses has helped me understand that there is a way to keep the gpa up and support my family, thanks again.
    I love you all! =D
  9. osli

    osli Senior Member 5+ Year Member

    Oct 13, 2005
    Absolutely... what others have said above. When it comes time to apply for med school, no one is going to knock you because it took you a year or three longer to complete your degree if you have good grades and good test scores. They will probably congratulate you for your accomplishment. On the other hand, if your grades or test scores are poor then using your family or job for an excuse isn't going to go far, since plenty of other students applying will have juggled them successfully. Bottom line, concentrate on doing well and pacing yourself. One suggestion is that at some point, probably around your junior year, you do need to take a semester or two that is pretty heavily loaded with the big-hitter courses to show that you might can handle the pace of information that will come at you in med school. A lot of people can ace one course at a time, but will fail one or two a semester if taking five at a time. So it helps to show that sort of time management and volume capacity. But that is a couple of years out, and I'm sure you will have things better figured out by then.
  10. Helicase


    May 15, 2008
    Elizabeth Blackwell said, "A strong idea, long cherished till it has taken deep root in the soul and become an all absorbing duty, cannot thus be laid aside. I consider [medicine] the noblest and most useful path that I can tread."

    Blackwell was the first female American physician. I chose to end my PS with this quote because it is very inspirational for me and it symbolizes my view of medicine and the long uphill path I have taken as a single mother to where I am today. The substance and context of the quote make it incredibly personally meaningful.

    Also, I tell people who challenge my desire to pursue medicine as a single parent, that the best parent is a happy parent. Parenting is not about quantity of time, it's about quality. I don't just tell my child she can be anything, I show her by my own example.

    I got through undergrad with a small child and almost no support. I tried for a few quarters to be super woman and do it all. I worked full time, took a rigorous full course load, and volunteered more than most of my peers, all while parenting an infant. It caught up with me and every aspect of my life suffered. When I cut back and found my balance it all worked out.

    Remember to balance your time and be happy with your life as it is today. Don't always live for tomorrow or you'll never live at all. This is not a race, so take your time and enjoy your baby, take classes you can do well in and work a job that you like. Be flexible and creative. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Even if you don't have family you can depend on, you'd be surprised how many people will help you.

    Best of luck! It can be done!

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