ewww, creepy TA

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schrizto

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I've been going for help for calc and this has been bothering me. In class we are given a set of problems on the computer that's due the next day and I never finish on time. I have to go to a lab right after the class, and what I do is after the lab I go back for help when there's one TA there. This is the only time I can get help before the problems are due.

The TA is really weird. When we're working on math problems he always starts asking me personal questions. It started out being "What's your major?" and turned to more personal things like "Where are you from?" I know this doesn't sound like much but he asks these things out of nowhere, like:

Me: So how do you find the tangent line for this equation?
TA: Where are you from?
Me (thinking to myself): Answer my question, loser.

He's this short greasy asian guy with BO who doesn't speak English very well and grunts a lot when he attempts to explain things. I also get the feeling when I'm working on problems he's staring at me instead of what I'm writing, and he always seems way too happy when I show up for math help. I don't want to socialize with this guy, I want calc help :eyebrow:. It's gotten to the point where I'm dreading going for help sessions... am I overreacting?
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Find a different TA? Tell him you're not interested?

If you feel it's sexual harassment or something, speak up. Tell him you'd rather not discuss your personal life and only want help with the math. If he keeps getting personal, tell him it's not welcome.
 
schrizto said:
I've been going for help for calc and this has been bothering me. In class we are given a set of problems on the computer that's due the next day and I never finish on time. I have to go to a lab right after the class, and what I do is after the lab I go back for help when there's one TA there. This is the only time I can get help before the problems are due.

The TA is really weird. When we're working on math problems he always starts asking me personal questions. It started out being "What's your major?" and turned to more personal things like "Where are you from?" I know this doesn't sound like much but he asks these things out of nowhere, like:

Me: So how do you find the tangent line for this equation?
TA: Where are you from?
Me (thinking to myself): Answer my question, loser.

He's this short greasy asian guy with BO who doesn't speak English very well and grunts a lot when he attempts to explain things. I also get the feeling when I'm working on problems he's staring at me instead of what I'm writing, and he always seems way too happy when I show up for math help. I don't want to socialize with this guy, I want calc help :eyebrow:. It's gotten to the point where I'm dreading going for help sessions... am I overreacting?
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You have to let him know this is unwanted behavior on his part. If he continues, it constitutes harassment. You might have to take this to the dept. chair or higher if you really want to stop this behavior, so I'd document everything he's saying to you and what you have told him to make him stop.
 
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armybound said:
Find a different TA? Tell him you're not interested?
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He's the only TA around during that time. By the time my lab ends it's the last shift. And I can't really tell him I'm not interested because what he's doing is very subtle so far. If I could go to a different time where there was a different TA present, I would.
 
Based off the they way you used three "ws" to say Ew and you're signature that says "I <3 Pitt", you're a girl.

The TA who is probably a grad. student or someone not extremely older than you most likely displays interest because 1) you are a girl and 2) you go to extra help by yourself. If this is a big issue and you're concerned for your own safety, STOP going to that "ewww creepy" TA and start focusing on getting your work done ahead of time.

Find a group of "not so creepy" students who are more concerned about your success than the fact that you're a girl.
 
That just sounds creepy. I've seen guys act like that and it always makes me feel really awkward, but some guys just don'e know how to act. It sounds like the TA is a bit of a weirdo to begin with. If its not threatening at all, blow it off. Maybe take a friend who's in the class with you, preferable a guy...maybe a big strong one. :cool: The TA would be much less likely to be a creep if you went with another person. If it becomes threatening or even borderline harrassment I would first say something to him and then to a prof./dept. head.
 
it might or might not be creepy.

however, i would take another friend with you.

i have TA'd and there are some (esp foreign grad students) that might be unfamiliar about a professional TA-student relationship. most TAs are cool peeps though, most people are
 
Sounds like a harmless dorky awkward guy is interested in you, but has 0 game. Instead of freaking out like all these guys saying you should go complain to the department, just make it clear you are there for only math and not personal interests. Hell, tell him you're meeting your boyfriend on the football team in an hour and have to hurry and do these problems or something. If that doesn't work I guess you can just confront him outright and tell him you really need tutoring and not that fake ass game hes throwing, then if that doesn't work and you can't avoid him (need tutoring and that's the only time you can go) then you can consider reporting him to his supervisor. Just don't go get the guy fired cause he finds you attractive though unless he's doing some serious crap and not just hitting on you.
 
Yeah I don't want to do anything like report him to a supervisor or anything yet, it seems too extreme. I just really wish I was good at math so I can avoid this guy. He's not that great at solving calc problems, either, because I got problems wrong that he worked out.

The other day he was stuck on one last problem, and I really needed to leave and get started on my chemistry homework, so I was like "I have to go do my chemistry homework now." and he goes "C-chemistry homework?" and I was like "Yes, chemistry homework." It sounded like he didn't want me to leave. -_-
 
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Not sure if this is extra helpful advice but here goes:

Check out those youtube videos online, practice your basic integration/differentiation until you know them cold and you should be fine. Consistency is key to succeeding in calculus. Unless of course you're a prodigy. But I highly recommend getting taught by students in your class and working on your calc hw the day it is assigned.
 
Asking what your major is and where your from seems within the lines of normal social interaction.

Hes probably new to this country and still learning.
 
Disinence2 said:
Asking what your major is and where your from seems within the lines of normal social interaction.

Hes probably new to this country and still learning.
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but the thing is, we're not having a normal social conversation when he asks these things. I'm either asking about a math problem or working on one in silence when he asks me these questions.
 
Alexander Pink said:
Sounds like a harmless dorky awkward guy is interested in you, but has 0 game. Instead of freaking out like all these guys saying you should go complain to the department, just make it clear you are there for only math and not personal interests. Hell, tell him you're meeting your boyfriend on the football team in an hour and have to hurry and do these problems or something. If that doesn't work I guess you can just confront him outright and tell him you really need tutoring and not that fake ass game hes throwing, then if that doesn't work and you can't avoid him (need tutoring and that's the only time you can go) then you can consider reporting him to his supervisor. Just don't go get the guy fired cause he finds you attractive though unless he's doing some serious crap and not just hitting on you.
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+1, obviously.
 
brooklynblunder said:
however, i would take another friend with you.
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I think that's a good idea. Bring someone else. Another option may be to answer his questions like a prick. Where ya from? somewhere. What do ya like to do? Nothing. What's your favorite color? I'm not in the third grade. With indiscript answers you run the risk of annoying him, but hopefully its a more subtle way of telling him to back off and he will lose interest in having conversations with you.

schrizto said:
Me: So how do you find the tangent line for this equation?
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Don't you take the derivative?
 
shiftingmirage said:
Don't you take the derivative?
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Haha, I actually used that question because it was the only one I could think of. I don't really remember what was the exact math-related question I asked.
 
Eh, sounds like you're just being over sensitive. Maybe he's interested, maybe he's not, but it really doesn't sound like it's anything threatening and he IS helping you, right? This time it may be a TA who's over friendly, next time maybe a TA who doesn't give a crap, and maybe the time afterward you get a TA who's always stoned. It happens. I assume you're pretty young, so just get used to it. You'll likely find a lot of people you need help from to be a bit annoying in one way or another.
 
dingyibvs said:
Eh, sounds like you're just being over sensitive. Maybe he's interested, maybe he's not, but it really doesn't sound like it's anything threatening and he IS helping you, right? This time it may be a TA who's over friendly, next time maybe a TA who doesn't give a crap, and maybe the time afterward you get a TA who's always stoned. It happens. I assume you're pretty young, so just get used to it. You'll likely find a lot of people you need help from to be a bit annoying in one way or another.
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church
 
dingyibvs said:
Eh, sounds like you're just being over sensitive. Maybe he's interested, maybe he's not, but it really doesn't sound like it's anything threatening and he IS helping you, right? This time it may be a TA who's over friendly, next time maybe a TA who doesn't give a crap, and maybe the time afterward you get a TA who's always stoned. It happens. I assume you're pretty young, so just get used to it. You'll likely find a lot of people you need help from to be a bit annoying in one way or another.
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I actually have found TAs who don't give a crap are more effective. They're like "Yeah, what's the problem?", and then I show them my work, they say "Oh, you should have done this and this" and then they go sit back down. Quick and to the point, no BS.

Whereas this TA spends lots of time on a problem because he doesn't always understand what the question is asking and sometimes his answer isn't even right.
 
brooklynblunder said:
church
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preachin'

schrizto said:
I actually have found TAs who don't give a crap are more effective. They're like "Yeah, what's the problem?", and then I show them my work, they say "Oh, you should have done this and this" and then they go sit back down. Quick and to the point, no BS.

Whereas this TA spends lots of time on a problem because he doesn't always understand what the question is asking and sometimes his answer isn't even right.
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And you should be a lot more concerned about that than his "creepiness". Also, your first paragraph seems to describe a TA who's all business, a TA who doesn't give a crap wouldn't be in his office during his office hour :D

You really need to just ignore those things. I don't know how much clinical experience you have, but some patients are REALLY creepy. I had this old gay dude ask to give me a hug, then squeeze my shoulders and tell me "whoa, you're a husky boy." Then he gives me a page-long note telling me how great I am and how he likes to look at naked men on the internet. Yea....

Besides, I thought you found nerdy dorky guys more approachable :laugh: (I knew I remember your sn from somewhere.)
 
the thing about TAs, they are around our (me, dingy's) age. they dont really have a great teaching experience. most are required by their dept. to teach.
 
You really need to just ignore those things. I don't know how much clinical experience you have, but some patients are REALLY creepy. I had this old gay dude ask to give me a hug, then squeeze my shoulders and tell me "whoa, you're a husky boy." Then he gives me a page-long note telling me how great I am and how he likes to look at naked men on the internet. Yea....
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I would be able to put up more with creepy patients because it's understandable that patients often do not behave professionally.

Besides, I thought you found nerdy dorky guys more approachable :laugh: (I knew I remember your sn from somewhere.)
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...not creepy ones, and not with BO and bad english. then they're just yuck. and I don't know if I like guys.
 
dingyibvs said:
preachin'



And you should be a lot more concerned about that than his "creepiness". Also, your first paragraph seems to describe a TA who's all business, a TA who doesn't give a crap wouldn't be in his office during his office hour :D

You really need to just ignore those things. I don't know how much clinical experience you have, but some patients are REALLY creepy. I had this old gay dude ask to give me a hug, then squeeze my shoulders and tell me "whoa, you're a husky boy." Then he gives me a page-long note telling me how great I am and how he likes to look at naked men on the internet. Yea....

Besides, I thought you found nerdy dorky guys more approachable :laugh: (I knew I remember your sn from somewhere.)
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:laugh: Did you write him back?
 
interject and imaginary (or real) boyfriend into the conversation....if I hit on a girl (in a totally unreepy way..) and it is the rare occasion that they mention a boyfriend :)laugh:)...I back the hell off. not only because i'm not a relationship breaker, but fighting in real life is kind of a drag...

edit: i see alexander already said something to that effect (but not as embarrassing) :0
 
He may be a little socially ignorant, but ask yourself this; if he was good looking would you still be making a post about this?

It sounds like he is just making small talk which is a pretty normal thing to do. Then again, I'm not there, and there are many creepy people out there.
 
This is coming from the other side of the fence.

First off, I agree with the posters saying that he just doesn't have any game, but that he isn't a real threat at all.

Grad school can attract some odd people, and the more technical the program the more odd they can get. Math is up there. By your description, it sounds like he's probably an international student as well, so he was screwed from the start: awkward in his own language, worse in ours.

Look, we know that many undergrads regard us as your servants when we're teaching. We're supposed to answer all of your questions regardless of how poorly you phrase them or how little you tried on our own. It's often a crappy job, especially when you guys don't really care about the material. In addition, we're often stuck teaching courses that aren't really in our area of interest. THEN, we're stuck in a room doing nothing for hours on end while we cover office hours. It's boring, and after 3-4 hours of solitary confinement a little bit of conversation can be nice. I always try to find out something about the students I'm teaching. Nothing overly personal, but some background, that kind of stuff. If I see the same person more than once, I try to remember their names. Guy or girl, it doesn't matter. It sounds like this is more or less what this guy is doing, only he's especially awkward about it and doesn't meet your standards of attractiveness. Give him a break, or just avoid his office hours if you really can't tolerate him. There are usually other study groups for introductory level courses in every department.

And for the record, the awkwardness can go both ways. I've had students I've seen once in office hours add me to facebook, leave their phone numbers for me, and I've been asked out no less than three times by students in my lab section.
 
Excuse me miss, no need to call me short or greasy!!! I'm just trying to help you out! Please, you're the one who keeps coming back to me for help!!!
 
schrizto said:
I actually have found TAs who don't give a crap are more effective. They're like "Yeah, what's the problem?", and then I show them my work, they say "Oh, you should have done this and this" and then they go sit back down. Quick and to the point, no BS.

Whereas this TA spends lots of time on a problem because he doesn't always understand what the question is asking and sometimes his answer isn't even right.
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basic game at work. Women just like it when men don't give a ****.
 
shudnt be really complaing about him when hes just trying to help out.

i think ur being a little too cautious here.

everybody has their different styles of teaching!
 
OP, go with your instincts! If he makes you uncomfortable, get away. Don't worry about being nice. Our society teaches women that they should always be nice, especially to men, even at the risk of their own security. You don't have to be ashamed of doing what it takes to feel comfortable and safe.
 
Just kiss him and get it over with already. It'll help ease the tension. :love:
 
Wow, so this thread is turning into guys generalizing what women are like. What if the OP isn't a girl? Ever consider that?

Compass said:
You know, it'd be a shame if the person we're talking about comes to this website.
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If he does come on this website, then good, because maybe then he will get the idea and stop with the personal questions.
 
schrizto said:
Wow, so this thread is turning into guys generalizing what women are like. What if the OP isn't a girl? Ever consider that?

If he does come on this website, then good, because maybe then he will get the idea and stop with the personal questions.
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Did you just refer to yourself in the fourth person?

Regardless, I ask all of my students about themselves to some extent, precisely because it isn't a sexual thing. I just like to know something about anybody I'm going to be dedicating so much time to.
 
^

what he said...


girls should stop thinking everybody wants to hit on them

:D
 
OP needs to post up pictures of both herself and the TA and we shall judge who is hitting on who.
 
Slowpoke said:
OP needs to post up pictures of both herself and the TA and we shall judge who is hitting on who.
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I don't hit on people. It's simply not my nature to. And people haven't seem to have gotten this yet, but I would never hit on a guy.
 
Sorry let me rephrase my above statement.

OP needs to post up pictures of herself so we can judge if you are worth hitting on.
 
schrizto said:
I don't hit on people. It's simply not my nature to. And people haven't seem to have gotten this yet, but I would never hit on a guy.
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Soo... OP is either a lesbian or a guy?
 
A lot of people who come from foreign countries don't know the implied rules of social interaction here, and may come off a little strong. Maybe he's just trying to be friendly.

Don't say "short asian guy" in such a derogatory manner as if you're sooo above him. Don't be one of those girls who gets a self esteem kick by thinking everyone is in love with them and putting them down for no reason.
 
Compass said:
So, in other words... you play hard to get?
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No, I don't try to attract the attentions of anyone.

Slowpoke said:
Sorry let me rephrase my above statement.

OP needs to post up pictures of herself so we can judge if you are worth hitting on.
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Why does it matter whether or not I am worth hitting on? I don't try to dress up for help sessions either, I have a lab and a few classes before that and therefore dress accordingly in a sweatshirt and jeans for cold weather and chemicals.
 
schrizto said:
No, I don't try to attract the attentions of anyone.



Why does it matter whether or not I am worth hitting on? I don't try to dress up for help sessions either, I have a lab and a few classes before that and therefore dress accordingly in a sweatshirt and jeans for cold weather and chemicals.
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So let me get this strait. You are a young person in college with zero sex drive whatsoever? A little hard to believe/sad.
 
chman said:
So let me get this strait. You are a young person in college with zero sex drive whatsoever? A little hard to believe/sad.
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If true, that is one of the saddest things I have ever heard.
 
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