failed course want to go into ophtho

[mapleleaf2]

Hey guys,

I just wanted some honest feedback on some life choices. I failed a course in the beginning of my second year by 4 points on one exam. So I had to retake it, and ended up pushing my boards back 6 weeks. I now have 3 weeks to study for boards.

The reason I failed that course wasn't because I didn't know the information, but because I was caught up in panic where I was just convinced that I would fail, couldn't think and I failed. I've been going through a really really rough few years bc my parents have gone through a long long divorce. And to be honest, I went through a lot of personal turmoil and abuse because my dad really put me in the middle and made me feel guilty for a lot of things. It was hard bc he was the one person that I looked up to. In the middle of college, my mother ended up getting cancer and couldn't work, and I have 3 younger siblings. My mother supports all of us and while my mother was going through cancer, my father still kept on pushing for the divorce. And while things worked out, I was so stressed by everyting that I barely got into med school. It was really hard to see that my father could be that cruel and it really broke me inside and no matter how hard I tried to reason with him, he never reciprocated. And I could never understand how he didnt' have a shred of decency to at least help duriing a time when I thought my mother was going to die (she's ok now)... and that was back when I was 20.

The last few years have been hard because the verbal / emotional abuse really tore into my self esteem. I used to be really passionate about work and learning and then when I started med school, I felt like an awful person and was literally so afraid to even speak in front of my anatomy group. And then I failed my course. Luckily one of the deans in my school pulled me aside and told me how much she was worried about me and said that she has faith that I'm going to pull through things. And almost in that same week when I was in psych, I finally understood what my dad had to be narcisstic personality disorder. It was such a relief to understand, but at the same time really hard. The class coordinator, who specializes in personality disorders helped me see that there is nothing I can do for my father because he himself doesn't realize he has a problem. But through all those years, I've felt myself getting ripped into shreds emotionally and being unable to focus.

I'm not asking for pity, but I'm just asking an honest answer. I know I've screwed up. I failed, which looks bad. And I've pushed my exam date back. But in this time, I've managed to put my life together and refocus. I didn't need to take the exam late to pass, but to do well. And in this time, I've also been able to heal and regain the passion and desire I have to study. I've had many interactions with my school dean, who told me that I would need at least a 240 to even be considered. I think with the amount of studying I've put in (I've been studying since January), that's not impossible at this point. And I know at this point since I've been able to regain my focus and concentration, that doing well in third year will not be impossible.

But it's still very overwhelming to think that I'm pushing myself to do somethiing that can never happen. I've been through a lot at a young age, and I've survived it. But I'm just trying to put the pieces together and go on with my life. Just wondering if anyone has heard of someone failing a course and getting into ophtho.

Thanks.

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[Pinkertinkle]

If you get 240+ and ace third year no one's even going to notice you failed a preclinical course, the least of all things considered.

 

[synapse lapse]

I concur with Pinkertinkle, if you do 240+ and well in 3rd year it won't matter (of course, easier said than done). I think you should also visit your schools mental health facilities for counseling, as that might help you stay focused and work through the issues you have mentioned.

 

[mapleleaf2]

hey,

thanks for the replies. i have been working with a private counselor for a few months. failing the course made me aware of the fact that I needed to because going through everything was taking a direct toll on my confidence to learn. i think that's how i've been able to get through things to some degree, but boards are stressful for just about everyone.

you're right. it's easier said than done. but not impossible.

thanks again. i was always skeptical of this website. but it really means a lot to see how supportive strangers can be

 

[gman33]

Don't worry about the failed course. There is nothing you can do about it now. Just focus your time on studying and do the best you can on Step 1.
After you get your score back, you'll have a better idea of where you stand.

As others have said, preclin grades are pretty low on the list of important items.

 

[Samus Aran]

If you get 240+ and ace third year no one's even going to notice you failed a preclinical course, the least of all things considered.

i agree 1000%.

hey,

thanks for the replies. i have been working with a private counselor for a few months. failing the course made me aware of the fact that I needed to because going through everything was taking a direct toll on my confidence to learn. i think that's how i've been able to get through things to some degree, but boards are stressful for just about everyone.

you're right. it's easier said than done. but not impossible.

thanks again. i was always skeptical of this website. but it really means a lot to see how supportive strangers can be

imo, as long as you do well on boards and do well in your clinical years you should be good to go, just keep up with the counseling since it seems like it's really been beneficial so far. if anyone asks down the road, just explain the situation. everyone has gone through tough times and should be able to relate to you situation in that respect. your parents' divorce was something you had no control over, but what you can control is how you handle the situation from here on out. keep your confidence level up and keep your ultimate goal in the forefront of your mind and you should be fine. you've apparently done well up to this point so you should have no reason to believe this was nothing more than the result of having to deal with a stressful life situation and not because you're incapable of success. i have faith that you will accomplish what you set your mind to, just keep working hard and know it's definitely still within your reach!

 

[njbmd]

Just wondering if anyone has heard of someone failing a course and getting into ophtho.
Thanks.

First of all, you have to take one step at a time. You haven't been through third year and thus obsessing about a particular specialty is both premature and doesn't show sound thinking.

Next, you need to focus on first, your remediation and then boards. If you fail your remediation, you are likely not going to have to worry about boards for awhile. Your focus is your classwork first.

Next, stop worrying about a particular board score and concentrate on board prep when you get past your remediation. At the time you are ready for boards, take the time you need and study/review for boards. If you can't get your board prep done in the allotted time, change the test date. It will cost money but you have to be thoroughly prepared when you take that test. Taking/Failing the test because you just couldn't prepared by a specific date will be very costly career-wise. Bottom-line only take boards when you are prepared no matter what's going on in your life.

Last, get your "head-stuff" figured out before you make life-altering decisions. Many things in medicine/medical schools are not "do-overs". You have to have good information going in and coming out. Go to your counselor and take the time you need. In the end, your decisions will be better.

Whether or not anyone has failed a course and matched into ophtho is meaningless to you. Once you have completed what you need to complete, you start making yourself competitive for ophtho (and have a Plan B if necessary). Just take one step at a time and find a way to put the angst into action that moves you forward rather than paralyzing you. Good luck!

 

[Samus Aran]

Next, you need to focus on first, your remediation and then boards. If you fail your remediation, you are likely not going to have to worry about boards for awhile. Your focus is your classwork first.

great point. take on one challenge at a time. it's not use worrying about what will happen at point c if you haven't yet accomplished a and b.

 

[mapleleaf2]

What njbmd said is so valid and I've heard that before: it's not reasonable to get so worried about getting into something when you haven't experienced it in your third year because you don't know what it's like.

I have passed the remediation course and am now only concentrating on boards. And you guys are also right to say it is important to concentrate on the information and not the score. I don't study well when I stress about these things and in many ways taking these weeks to study for boards is letting me take back the time I've lost dealing with personal problems. It's actually been a really important thing for me to do because at the end of the day, you're learning the information to help your patients. And if I come into third year not being as on top of things as I should be, I'm the one who is losing out because it will only make it harder to go through rotations. I think the perspective I'm going to have for the next three weeks is that learning this stuff well is going to give me a solid foundation for my medical career.

And yes, now I really am studying and spending no more time on SDN!

 

[Pinkertinkle]

Whoa what's with all this talk about third year. That covers the core clerkships but will do little if you're interested in something like ophthalmology. In fact if you wait until after third year to decide to do ophthalmology you're significant behind many other applicants in terms of research, connections, letters of recommendation. For things like derm, ophtho, radiology etc... one should plan well ahead of time. If wanting C makes you work harder and do better in A and B, that's certainly reasonable.

 

[mapleleaf2]

pinkertinkle... that is true, which is why i was getting worried. but the truth is that i haven't been completely out of the loop. i was the pres of my med school's ophtho group, i've shadowed the chairman of the dept so he knows who i am (vaguely) and i've spent a summer doing research at wilmer eye and at my home med school. also my thesis advisor back in undergrad was an economist who worked primarily out of an ophtho department at one of the med schools. so that's perhaps where doing poorly hit me harder because i've already invested so much time and energy into something that is very competitive. but i know what you're saying... ophtho is an early match. you can't wait until after third year. but i've also scheduled my electives after this upcoming semester. if the board scores come back and they are reasonable, then i'll take the elective at the end of my third year. also, as to research, i'm basically 90% sure i'm going to take a year off and do an MBA. I've wanted to for a while and my school has one of the cheapest tuition rates for it in the country. so i can't turn it down. i'll think about doing more research during the mba year if i even want to go into ophtho.

i think my problem is that wanting C puts too much pressure on myself and drags me into a horrible spiral which is perhaps why i even posted on this website. i should be reasonable with myself and take things one at a time and concentrate on the present, which is boards.

Thanks a lot though. I feel 1000% better today .

 

[mapleleaf2]

and if i get the 240 i'll let you know!

 

[OPPforlife]

mapleleaf I know you'll get a 240! (even though I have no clue what the step 1 entails or what kind of a score a 240 is...)

 

[Pinkertinkle]

pinkertinkle... that is true, which is why i was getting worried. but the truth is that i haven't been completely out of the loop. i was the pres of my med school's ophtho group, i've shadowed the chairman of the dept so he knows who i am (vaguely) and i've spent a summer doing research at wilmer eye and at my home med school. also my thesis advisor back in undergrad was an economist who worked primarily out of an ophtho department at one of the med schools. so that's perhaps where doing poorly hit me harder because i've already invested so much time and energy into something that is very competitive. but i know what you're saying... ophtho is an early match. you can't wait until after third year. but i've also scheduled my electives after this upcoming semester. if the board scores come back and they are reasonable, then i'll take the elective at the end of my third year. also, as to research, i'm basically 90% sure i'm going to take a year off and do an MBA. I've wanted to for a while and my school has one of the cheapest tuition rates for it in the country. so i can't turn it down. i'll think about doing more research during the mba year if i even want to go into ophtho.

i think my problem is that wanting C puts too much pressure on myself and drags me into a horrible spiral which is perhaps why i even posted on this website. i should be reasonable with myself and take things one at a time and concentrate on the present, which is boards.

Thanks a lot though. I feel 1000% better today .

Looks like you're well on your way in terms of connections, research and letters. Now definitely focus on step 1. I personally think preclinical courses do not reflect step I material well, so don't get over worried regarding that. Study hard and use the resources you have available to knock it out of the park. Then continue your research and sf match should go well.

 

[perilou]

mapleleaf I know you'll get a 240! (even though I have no clue what the step 1 entails or what kind of a score a 240 is...)

 

[perilou]

... Now definitely focus on step 1. I personally think preclinical courses do not reflect step I material well, so don't get over worried regarding that....

What???
What do you think reflects step 1 material, if not preclinical courses? It's basically a big final exam.

 

[Pinkertinkle]

What???
What do you think reflects step 1 material, if not preclinical courses? It's basically a big final exam.

Of course preclinical courses contain most of the stuff that's on step 1, unfortunately it's buried in there with a lot of extraneous stuff that professors tossed in for various reasons, but mostly for their own amusement. The majority of basic science professors don't know what's particularly clinically relevant or tested on, haven't seen a Step 1 exam, nor do they know how to write a question USMLE style. Therefore it is up to the student to independently seek out the resources that will best optimize their knowledge and skill base to ace the USMLE. Blindly studying the materials given to you by your basic science professors is what I would call low yield.