Failed step 1, spiraling into chronic depression, someone help

Discussion in 'Step I' started by Medschool2323, 05.18.14.

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  1. Medschool2323

    Medschool2323

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    Couldn't get into US med school went to a Caribbean instead, biggest mistake of my life. Anyways took my step 1 April 4th, got my score back couple Wednesdays ago with a huge FAIL and 181.

    My prep:

    Uworld, first aid, kaplan qbank, DIT 2011

    NBME 16: 190
    NBME 15: 204

    Did study pretty hard like 6 - 8 hours a day at least but pretty depressed to see my score. Took about a week to snap out of my depression turned to alcohol and drugs to ease the pain but I'm back at it again. Startin with pathoma right now.....

    Attached is my step 1 score and overall performance
     

    Attached Files:

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  3. Anastomoses

    Anastomoses secretly an end artery Banned Account on Hold 2+ Year Member

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    First...what do you think the problem is? And why are you blaming your school?
     
  4. Medschool2323

    Medschool2323

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    We didn't have comp, never took any. It is my fault, not sure why I'm blaming the school except the fact all the profs are indian with thick accents can't understand a damn thing they taught us. Problem is I focused mainly on first aid and qbank as nothing else as you can tell by my lovely performance
     
  5. shigella123

    shigella123

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    You know you are ready to try again and more likely will pass with way better score this time and still have opportunity at your dream like many others before you.

    You shouldn't have taken it with those scores, especially since you went abroad for med school. You should have looked for advice before proceeding. It's not really the school that's responsible, it's each person for their own future. And I think such schools should be praised for giving students opportunities that are almost impossible in US. We all learn from our mistakes.
     
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  6. Anastomoses

    Anastomoses secretly an end artery Banned Account on Hold 2+ Year Member

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    So. When I think of Caribbean schools...I don't think of them as places you go to make you a great doctor. I think of people who need to be doctors...going to the only place that will allow them to work their asses crazy off, to settle for lower status, and to cling for dear life...and loophole their way in by overcompensating in every way possible.

    If you didn't see it that way from go...well, your bad.

    You didn't see your own scores from Uworld telling you that you're not really at the top of the game? My advice?

    Cry tonight, punch yourself in the stomach (wait, I don't advocate actual self-harm), look in the mirror with mascara streaming down your face and conclude with..."am I gonna do this **** or what!" Then make a plan.
     
  7. Ismet

    Ismet PGY-fun SDN Administrator 5+ Year Member

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    Why did you take the exam when you barely passed only one of the NBMEs you took? I would shoot for at least getting 220+ on an NBME to be confident that you will at least pass the real thing.
     
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  8. Medschool2323

    Medschool2323

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    I'm back at it again with a vengeance, started pathoma yesterday already tackled micro, genetics and behavioral science. Gonna work on some qbank soon, what else
     
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  9. Ismet

    Ismet PGY-fun SDN Administrator 5+ Year Member

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    CBSE
     
  10. shigella123

    shigella123

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    Great thinking and enthusiasm.... There's no stopping after coming this far in the game. You are very close. Get your resources straight and make your weak areas the strongest. Only stick to UW+Pathoma+Rx/FA+NBMEs+Free 150. Come back with a great score to post this time... Good luck!
     
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  11. Ismet

    Ismet PGY-fun SDN Administrator 5+ Year Member

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    It's not. Some schools require students to take the CBSE.
     
  12. CherryRedDracul

    CherryRedDracul 2 Chainz Muscular Dystrophy 2+ Year Member

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    I'm not going to lie ... I almost had a panic attack after I read that post.
     
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  13. Ionian

    Ionian 2+ Year Member

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    My advice to everyone that has shown up to this forum in the past few weeks in a similar situation is to seriously give some thought about pushing ahead.

    Spoiler alert: the hard work doesn't end after step 1.

    Step 1 is a minimal competency exam, if you're struggling to jump over a really low hurdle, then the road ahead does not look promising. Now, many more people are going to disagree, and will urge you to continue. You will hear: "it gets better", "it gets easier" etc., but remember, there are a lot of people with that opinion, because there are a lot of people that aren't at the bottom 5% of all medical students. In their experience, it works out, but lets be honest, that's because they had a better foundation than you, and have better study habits than you, and they were not the type of students that had to repeat a year, or not that type that that could fail step 1. Yes, it gets easier for them, but will it for you?

    The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, you people prove you are not up to the challenge and either lack intelligence, lack drive, or lack focus, and I don't believe that will change. There must be a reason why 80% (at least at my school) of those students that repeat a year, or fail step the first time, end up dropping out, or failing out.

    I think it would be less cruel to watch you be happy and successful in some other profession then to urge you to go forward.

    Tough break man, good luck.
     
    Last edited: 05.21.14
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  14. parliamentarian

    parliamentarian 7+ Year Member

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    I have not failed step, but by all predictors I most certainly should. I repeated M1 year, barely passed M1 the second time, and almost failed an M2 year course which would've gotten me kicked out. After all that, I'm still gonna keep showing up unless they show me the door. Why? Because honestly, I'm happy. I wouldn't trade places with any of the other the 150+ students ranked ahead of me. Sure, I get frustrated with myself a ton. I know I could do well. I've certainly shown glimpses of it. But if getting Cs in medical school are the biggest of my worries then I'm living a pretty sweet ****ing life. Who would intentionally give that up? Furthermore, I doubt that med school performance is an indicator of how happy a student is. I know students with 250+ scores that are absolutely miserable.
     
    Last edited: 05.19.14
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  15. purplelife

    purplelife 7+ Year Member

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    I agree with you, if someone is posting here for help or even sharing their downfalls with you at your hospitals/schools/etc, you shouldn't be discouraging or be demeaning to that person. That goes against the notion of being "future doctors". We are supposed to be supporting, encouraging, and helping others to become better and to work hard since they are the ones wanting to work hard. Why are you guys so cruel to others just cuz you guys are smarter with better grades. If you don't have encouraging words and supporting words to say and help that person come out of dark tunnel then please don't talk at all. Tape your mouth and pray to God to help you with your superiority complex. Appreciate the fact that every person is different.
     
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  16. Ionian

    Ionian 2+ Year Member

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    I'm sorry I won't be the type of person to hold an incompetent doctors hand.

    Go home, get you crap together, and come back when you're serious about what you do, and understand you're doing the work for the benefit of others, not just to make it by so you can call yourself a doctor.

    I don't have a problem with those types, I just wont want and don't need them around my patients.
     
    Last edited: 05.19.14
  17. purplelife

    purplelife 7+ Year Member

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    That's what we are encouraging them to do when they are not at that level yet, Ionian, but without putting them down and discouraging them. There's no need to be cruel and mean since it doesn't help anyone and this world is already full of negativity so we should work to minimize it. If you ever came to me and shared your downfalls, I would not tell you to leave everything and go jump off the bridge instead I would help you reach your max potential and encourage you to the fullest.
     
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  18. parliamentarian

    parliamentarian 7+ Year Member

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    For someone so sure of their own prowess, you seem to lack basic reading comprehension skills. In two posts you've suggested that borderline students think the hard stuff is over after step, or that we somehow don't understand the impact of the work we'll be doing. There is not a single post in this thread that has suggested either of those ideas. I hope I don't have to work with someone like you that doesn't listen and will probably just talk past their patients and colleagues. See, I can play that card too. And it looks just as dumb when I do it.
     
  19. Ionian

    Ionian 2+ Year Member

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    I will talk past you, because you are irrelevant.

    .6% away from not even being a medical student is as good as gone as far as I'm concerned. You'll wash out soon anyway, and then you'll wish you took my advice to leave and save yourself a lot of time and money.
     
    Last edited: 05.19.14
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  20. lolinternets

    lolinternets

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    Stop doubting yourself. Stop asking yourself if you can do it or not..You can do it. Now its a matter of how. Make a plan that works for you. Go back to the basics. Dont rush things. Stay calm and positive. Get proper sleep. Give yourself a few days to get over this and reboot.
     
  21. YeahNoMind

    YeahNoMind 2+ Year Member

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    Go and kill it once those nbme scores are singing to you. Start making some connections through family/friends for the future, and do well on the Louie c.k. :)

    Best of luck to you :)
     
  22. Apoplexy__

    Apoplexy__ Blood-and-thunder appearance Bronze Donor 2+ Year Member

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    Heh.

    I think this is holds a lot of truth, is well-put, and is blunt while minimally cruel.

    But OP, you failed once. You understand that there are changes to be made -- the question now is if you realize that drastic sacrifice and lifestyle alterations are the only way to truly fix your problems. It is very possible for you to solidly pass next go-around.

    This is strike 1. There is a point at which you should consider giving up to be a wise investment, but that time hasn't come yet. You still have more to accomplish with the opportunity of medical school you've been given.
     
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  23. EazyE1907

    EazyE1907 2+ Year Member

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    I think the first thing you need to consider here is you're study habits and really evaluate what you did during your study period. Only from there can you get some sound advice on what you need to work on.

    you say you studied pretty hard like 6-8 hrs? well what does that mean? Did you consistently study 6-8 hrs a day for 2-3 or more months or was it 6-8 hrs for 2 days then 1-2 hrs the next couple days and so forth.

    I see that you used world qbank and FA along with DIT. But how did you use these sources. Did you just whiz through world or did you meticulously go through each question to figure out why you got that question wrong/right. Did you annotate into you're FA anything that wasn't mentioned in the explanations and take separate notes about difficult to grasp concepts. Did you use the DIT workbook by following the course outline and filling out the quizzes as you go.

    did you do any other nbme's besides 15 and 16.

    I'm not trying to bust you're chops here bud, but you need to realize that as being an IMG, you need to go above and beyond and constantly be on the grind if you want any chance of securing a job as a physician in the US. If that means you have to wake up 2-3 hours before AM classes and review what you read in FA the day before, then do it. If that means staying up till 2-3am in the morning reviewing a block when you have class the next morning, then do it. I might be wrong (and i'm sorry if i am) but just from you're post above, it doesn't really seem like you gave it all you got man.

    I see you threw some dirt on the school, okay understandable, but only to a point. The school didn't pick you to come and study medicine there, you did and you know exactly why you're there. Nothing is over, take a deep breath and realize what you're goals are and where you want to be 10 years from now. You still have a great chance of passing this test, and landing a decent residency. But you gotta work your arse off up until the point you have rocket fuel spewing from your rear end. good luck!
     
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  24. DermViser

    DermViser 5+ Year Member

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    Do you go to Windsor University School of Medicine?
     
  25. DermViser

    DermViser 5+ Year Member

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    I thought you weren't going to be here till next Monday.
     
  26. DermViser

    DermViser 5+ Year Member

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    Remember what you've posted here when you go thru the match and let us know how you feel again during match week.
     
  27. Anastomoses

    Anastomoses secretly an end artery Banned Account on Hold 2+ Year Member

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    This was before that post, if my memory serves correctly.

    Edit: Creepy that I'd know that. Or even think I know the chronology of his postings. Ok, it might be time to give SDN a break.
     
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  28. DermViser

    DermViser 5+ Year Member

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    Nope, he posted after saying he'd be gone till Monday, and "CherryRedDracul was last seen: Viewing thread First Aid Cases, 2 minutes ago"
     
  29. DermViser

    DermViser 5+ Year Member

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    He posted after that, genius.
     
  30. Anastomoses

    Anastomoses secretly an end artery Banned Account on Hold 2+ Year Member

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    Then why didn't you quote a post AFTER that one to illustrate your point? Why quote him on a post he made BEFORE he said he was gonna go away?

    You know what? Nevermind.
     
  31. xadmin

    xadmin Senior Member 10+ Year Member

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    You should not blame your school. That score shows that you do not have a good grasp of medical knowledge so go back and study. Look on the bright side, you can only go up from here.
     
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  32. CherryRedDracul

    CherryRedDracul 2 Chainz Muscular Dystrophy 2+ Year Member

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    I'm still around. I just drop by the Step I section just to find answers to the questions I have. No posting till Monday with this one being the exception. Back to studying!
     
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