Feeling like I don't belong, like I'm not compassionate/smart/good enough

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plsadmitme

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Hi everybody! It's tough to post on here but I've been lacking confidence lately. It feels like I'm being given a message by med schools that I don't belong in medicine. For context, this is my second time applying to medical school. I was so fortunate to receive 12 interview invitations last year and was waitlisted at over half of those schools. I thought maybe I'd get pulled off a waitlist over the summer but reapplied early in the cycle this year just in case that didn't happen. It didn't happen.

This year, I am so grateful to have 7 interview invitations so far. I recently received my first post-interview decision (waitlisted) and while that was frustrating, it's a position I'm familiar with. I can't help but feel like I'm an unlikeable person, like for some reason, I am making people feel bad while having conversations with them during interviews. I feel like I'm having good, pleasant conversations with people. I'm just trying to be myself and not overthink things, but I can't help but feel like people are perceiving me very negatively and I just can't understand why.

I'd really appreciate any advice or words of wisdom. It would mean a lot to me!

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Schedule an appointment with a therapist TODAY.
 
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Were you able to get any feedback from the schools that waitlisted you last cycle?
 
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Hi everybody! It's tough to post on here but I've been lacking confidence lately. It feels like I'm being given a message by med schools that I don't belong in medicine. For context, this is my second time applying to medical school. I was so fortunate to receive 12 interview invitations last year and was waitlisted at over half of those schools. I thought maybe I'd get pulled off a waitlist over the summer but reapplied early in the cycle this year just in case that didn't happen. It didn't happen.

This year, I am so grateful to have 7 interview invitations so far. I recently received my first post-interview decision (waitlisted) and while that was frustrating, it's a position I'm familiar with. I can't help but feel like I'm an unlikeable person, like for some reason, I am making people feel bad while having conversations with them during interviews. I feel like I'm having good, pleasant conversations with people. I'm just trying to be myself and not overthink things, but I can't help but feel like people are perceiving me very negatively and I just can't understand why.

I'd really appreciate any advice or words of wisdom. It would mean a lot to me!
I've been in this position before with much less interest in my application my first cycle. My advice is definitely go to therapy if it is accessible to you, it will pay you back in spades to voice these opinions out loud to a neutral party and get their perspective, advice, and comments. Clearly you're having a solid cycle so far, I was also waitlisted after my first interview and I felt those same emotions but reading through SDN, looking at the advice of the adcoms on here, it seems like for some of these schools despite having a good to great interview, it wasn't enough to put you through the door at THAT school. Keep in mind you also may come off the waitlist at any point. While it feels like a crapshoot we are halfway through the cycle so you may end with results even better than the first time and with some As in hand.
 
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I’m right in the same boat with you op. 13 interviews this cycle and no acceptances despite 3 have already given acceptances to people who interviews on my day.

Usually I’m a happy go lucky person but lately I feel like I have to be the sad clown. Put on a smile for interviews and work meetings but it’s all fake.
 
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Hi everybody! It's tough to post on here but I've been lacking confidence lately. It feels like I'm being given a message by med schools that I don't belong in medicine. For context, this is my second time applying to medical school. I was so fortunate to receive 12 interview invitations last year and was waitlisted at over half of those schools. I thought maybe I'd get pulled off a waitlist over the summer but reapplied early in the cycle this year just in case that didn't happen. It didn't happen.

This year, I am so grateful to have 7 interview invitations so far. I recently received my first post-interview decision (waitlisted) and while that was frustrating, it's a position I'm familiar with. I can't help but feel like I'm an unlikeable person, like for some reason, I am making people feel bad while having conversations with them during interviews. I feel like I'm having good, pleasant conversations with people. I'm just trying to be myself and not overthink things, but I can't help but feel like people are perceiving me very negatively and I just can't understand why.

I'd really appreciate any advice or words of wisdom. It would mean a lot to me!
Have you received any IIs this cycle from schools where you received IIs last cycle? If so, then it is definitely NOT your personality, interviewing skills, etc., and it is just terrible luck combined with a hyper-competitive environment. If not, then you definitely need to consult with someone who knows what they are doing to assess why 12 IIs are not converting into even a single A or an invite back in a subsequent cycle.

No need to get down on yourself as a person. You are in good company insofar as only 36% of all applicants last cycle are currently enrolled in a MD program. 12 IIs, though, is extraordinary, and is evidence that you are a great candidate on paper. If it were me, I'd invest a few dollars to explore if there was a reason other than awful luck as to why I couldn't close the deal. Whatever it is, it is most certainly fixable. Good luck!!
 
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Have you received any IIs this cycle from schools where you received IIs last cycle? If so, then it is definitely NOT your personality, interviewing skills, etc., and it is just terrible luck combined with a hyper-competitive environment. If not, then you definitely need to consult with someone who knows what they are doing to assess why 12 IIs are not converting into even a single A or an invite back in a subsequent cycle.

No need to get down on yourself as a person. You are in good company insofar as only 36% of all applicants last cycle are currently enrolled in a MD program. 12 IIs, though, is extraordinary, and is evidence that you are a great candidate on paper. If it were me, I'd invest a few dollars to explore if there was a reason other than awful luck as to why I couldn't close the deal. Whatever it is, it is most certainly fixable. Good luck!!
Obviously I know there is selection bias, but that percentage seems so low when seemingly everybody on here and premed Reddit has acceptances in their signatures.

Also @op, be careful not to let these thoughts develop into a positive feedback loop of self doubt. For example, it’s easy to imagine an applicant who gets waitlisted and then is overly anxious about his or her interview performance, even if the interview wasn’t the causative factor. This anxiety can then manifest itself on future interview days, impacting performance which then leads to more anxiety.
 
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Obviously I know there is selection bias, but that percentage seems so low when seemingly everybody on here and premed Reddit has acceptances in their signature.
And yet, that's exactly what it is. AAMC Table A-5. 62,432 applicants for the class entering fall 2021. 39,767 did not matriculate in any US MD-granting medical school. Of course, some enrolled in DO programs, but they were certainly not the MD applicants' first choice, and, in any event, are not tracked and reported by AAMC.

Anonymous self reporting on SDN and reddit should not be your go-to for statistical information. :cool:
 
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Schedule an appointment with a therapist TODAY.
Thanks so much for the quick and thoughtful replies, everyone. I am definitely going to talk to a therapist because I think I need a healthy outlet for some of the frustration I have. I have not had any thoughts of self-harm and am very lucky to have a group of friends and family who are nothing but supportive.

Were you able to get any feedback from the schools that waitlisted you last cycle?
I reached out to all the schools I was waitlisted at and none of them provided feedback. That was a bit frustrating cause I was left to figure out for myself how I could improve.

Some of my mentors (professors at a great public medical school but definitely biased on my behalf) shared with me that they simply didn't understand how I was unable to get into medical school. Some told me that maybe they thought the schools thought I wouldn't go there because of my high stats, some told me that maybe schools thought I was a better fit for MD/PhD programs because of my research background, and some thought I was just unlucky.

I have gotten multiple interviews from schools that interviewed me last cycle as well. There's times where I feel optimistic knowing I am in an incredibly fortunate position, and times where I can't help but feel like I'm gonna end up right where I was last year. It doesn't help when everywhere I look online, people say if you have an application good enough to get so many interview invitations and none of them work out, it must mean you're incredibly antisocial or unlikeable or whatever. I don't wanna start believing that about myself cause I think I'm great lol
 
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Hi everybody! It's tough to post on here but I've been lacking confidence lately. It feels like I'm being given a message by med schools that I don't belong in medicine. For context, this is my second time applying to medical school. I was so fortunate to receive 12 interview invitations last year and was waitlisted at over half of those schools. I thought maybe I'd get pulled off a waitlist over the summer but reapplied early in the cycle this year just in case that didn't happen. It didn't happen.

This year, I am so grateful to have 7 interview invitations so far. I recently received my first post-interview decision (waitlisted) and while that was frustrating, it's a position I'm familiar with. I can't help but feel like I'm an unlikeable person, like for some reason, I am making people feel bad while having conversations with them during interviews. I feel like I'm having good, pleasant conversations with people. I'm just trying to be myself and not overthink things, but I can't help but feel like people are perceiving me very negatively and I just can't understand why.

I'd really appreciate any advice or words of wisdom. It would mean a lot to me!
Last cycle was an anomaly as the waitlist movement was much less than anticipated. The application cycle is also very competitive. My school has been rejecting and waitlisting perfectly fine applicants who are great both on paper and in person. Their rejection/waitlist is not a reflection of their likability or place in medicine; there just happened to be another applicant who was slightly more impressive. There are many more qualified applicants than medical school seats.

Also, your worth is not determined by a medical school acceptance, though it may certainly seem like it when you're still in the trenches. Don't let the waitlists and rejections beat you down. This cycle is still early, and hopefully one of your interviews will come through. Just my thoughts and best of luck.
 
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Last cycle was an anomaly as the waitlist movement was much less than anticipated. The application cycle is also very competitive. My school has been rejecting and waitlisting perfectly fine applicants who are great both on paper and in person. Their rejection/waitlist is not a reflection of their likability or place in medicine; there just happened to be another applicant who was slightly more impressive. There are many more qualified applicants than medical school seats.

Also, your worth is not determined by a medical school acceptance, though it may certainly seem like it when you're still in the trenches. Don't let the waitlists and rejections beat you down. This cycle is still early, and hopefully one of your interviews will come through. Just my thoughts and best of luck.
This^^^^. If you are being invited back after being placed on the WL last cycle, there was clearly no red flag coming from your interviews. You're fine, and just need to keep plugging away. I'll actually be shocked if at least one of the repeat IIs doesn't convert into an A this time around.
 
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First I would seek the advice of a trusted mentor or colleagues to see if there's anything you do that might not be landing with adcoms. Based on how competitive it was last year, it could have been bad luck too.

But also remember that most of us experience imposter syndrome and feelings of inadequacy. That doesn't mean it's healthy but you're certainly not alone. To put it in perspective, getting 13 interviews probably puts you in the top percentile of applicants. And the pool of applicants is a collection of the most elite students in the world. But imposter syndrome and depression (yes, I said it and yes I have experienced it) can rob you of feeling like that's a valid accomplishment.

Final thing I want to say is that in parallel with developing a realistic view of your abilities (you are likely one of the best students who applied) it may help you to de-emphasize the value you place on external measures of success. Way easier said than done and success is definitely an aspect of personal fulfillment. But it shouldn't be the only aspect. Don't mean to make assumptions, just talking about my own experiences and hope it's helpful.

Also think therapy is a great tool and there are alternatives if you're not comfortable with therapy such as counselors, religious leaders, life coaches, or supportive people in your community. support groups are also a good option. You can just pick something and probably find a group for it. Personally there's addiction in my family so sometimes I go to those meetings if I'm in a mood and need to feel like there are people who can understand where I'm coming from. Also if you don't like connecting with people, my wife has had success with workbooks which can force you to be introspective and see where your logic maybe isn't holding up.
 
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Jack Ma was rejected by Harvard 10 times, Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant, among almost every job to which he applied before founding Alibaba.

Just because somebody gets rejected over and over again doesn’t mean that they won’t be successful in the future.
 
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Jack Ma was rejected by Harvard 10 times, Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant, among almost every job to which he applied before founding Alibaba.

Just because somebody gets rejected over and over again doesn’t mean that they won’t be successful in the future.


He applied 10 times? That’s just nuts.
 
I've been in this position before with much less interest in my application my first cycle. My advice is definitely go to therapy if it is accessible to you, it will pay you back in spades to voice these opinions out loud to a neutral party and get their perspective, advice, and comments. Clearly you're having a solid cycle so far, I was also waitlisted after my first interview and I felt those same emotions but reading through SDN, looking at the advice of the adcoms on here, it seems like for some of these schools despite having a good to great interview, it wasn't enough to put you through the door at THAT school. Keep in mind you also may come off the waitlist at any point. While it feels like a crapshoot we are halfway through the cycle so you may end with results even better than the first time and with some As in hand.
Why did you only attend 2 of 6 interview invites last cycle? Did something prevent you from attending them? It's much more likely you would have gotten accepted with 6 IAs than 2.
 
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He applied 10 times? That’s just nuts.
He said that in an interview at the world economic forum. Apparently couldn’t even get a loan for baba from one out of like thirty banks at first.
 
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He said that in an interview at the world economic forum. Apparently couldn’t even get a loan for baba from one out of like thirty banks at first.


I looked it up. The KFC thing was pretty funny too. They hired 23/24 applicants but not him. He must actually have had a presentation issue.
 
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Why did you only attend 2 of 6 interview invites last cycle? Did something prevent you from attending them? It's much more likely you would have gotten accepted with 6 IAs than 2.
Oh no those are my current numbers for this cycle! I've attended 2 so far but I have the other 4 scheduled from November through January, I update it as I attend them.
 
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