First year med school and First time mother

[judy]

I'm starting my first year this fall and I'm also having a baby at about the same time. Although I'll have a great support system (my husband and my in-laws are helping out), I'm still very stressed out. I wanted to see if anyone here knows how hectic the first month of med school can be. I don't want to miss too many classes (the most a week), but I also want to know that I can have "some" time to recuperate. For instance, will it be extremely detrimental if I miss a few sessions in anatomy? I'd appreciate any comments!

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[Hendooneh]

depends a lot on your background. Most of first year med school (about 60-70%) was repeated material for me while others had even more covered and still others came in with everything being fresh material.

 

[TXchick]

You might want to check out the book "A Not Entirely Benign Procedure" by Perri Klass. The author went to med school about 10 years ago, but also had a child during her first year of med school. It might be of some help. Other than that, it probably depends on the individual school and how much they are willing to cooperate with you.

 

[edmadison]

Missing lab is ok (assuming your school permits it). However, don't expect to learn anatomy from the text. The best way to learn it is to disect -- or at least look at the real thing on MANY different cadavers. If you do miss, make sure you spend time outside class in the lab.

If you are breast feeding you might want to check about the chemicals. I believe the school is required to provide you with a respirator if you request one.

Good Luck

Ed

 

[vhl]

I'm less worried about how hectic medical school will be, than how hectic your recovery will be. A week may be possible, but will be really tough, especially if you have a caesarian section (in that case you are in the hospital for 5 days!). Babies aren't really good about the whole sleep at night, stay awake in the day thing, and they take a lot of getting used to. I think the medical school part is doable, especially if the faculty are understanding. I'd let them know ahead of time and try to work out plans for making up the missed material. I'd also try to get a sense of whether they'd allow you to defer a year, in case things get sketchy (bed rest, preterm delivery, c-section)-hopefully you won't need it, but it's always good to have a plan B.
Perri Klass' book is great-she's an inspiration!
Good Luck!!

 

[kd]

i apologize in advance for the lack of caps- I'm trying to soothe my 1-month-old son to sleep and type with the other. my son was born 3 weeks before the end of first year, so i was pregnant my entire first year. here's my experience: i was horribly nauseous for the first 5 months, so i ended up missing most of anatomy lab, but still managed to pull a B in the course. if you do this, make sure you get a copy of rohen's color atlas of human anatomy- it contains hundreds of actual cadaver dissections and is truly a godsend if you have to miss lab. i did most of my studying from that and netter's and usually just went into lab once a week to see everything on the cadavers once i'd already learned it from the book. my school ordered me a mask, which i wore when i did go into lab, but supposedly the formalin they use is such a low concentration that it doesn't hurt anyway.
the rest of the pregnancy wasn't too bad- i did have to bow out of my clinical preceptorship early because of some mild preeclampsia, but other than that, it was ok. i went to most of my classes up until a couple of days before i delivered and otherwise studied from home. i ended up with a c-section, which wasn't fun, but i was out of the hospital after 4 days and the recovery wasn't too bad. i tell you what has been 1000 times tougher: after delivery!
OK little guy is temporarily quiet and in the crib, so back to caps: like I said, pregnancy wasn't nearly as stressful as life since my son was born. I didn't go back to class after he was born, because it was frankly impossible. I haven't slept more than 2 hours at a time and never more than 4 hours total a night-
I'm guessing that I'm missing about 170 total hours of sleep over the last month. My son nurses every 2-3 hours- each time takes up to 45 minutes, then burp him, change him, he'll take a short nap if I'm lucky, then it's time to feed him again. I had no idea how stressful taking care of a newborn would be- heck, I figured they sleep 16-20 hours a day, so there should be some study time in there. WRONG! To top it off, my son refuses to sleep in his crib- he gets really bad gas, so he can only sleep if I hold him or if he's on daddy's chest. My husband took 5 weeks of family leave to stay home and help out so I could finish school- he's a great father and extremely supportive, but even so, I had to reschedule 3 final exams. I took and passed 2 earlier this week and will take the 3rd one next week. Try taking final exams on weeks and weeks of no sleep! I've managed to make it so far, but it is unbelievably difficult- I'm thinking residency is going to be a cinch compared to this! Anyway, I've almost made it, but I would not recommend trying to do medical school with a newborn- especially if you're breastfeeding (in which case, you have to nurse on schedule, or you'll get engorged, start leaking milk everywhere, etc. which is NOT fun- trust me!). I'm just so happy that I have 2 months off this summer to spend with my son WITHOUT being stressed out over school!
Wow- the little guy is still asleep after 15 minutes in the crib- it's a miracle! Maybe I will actually get some dishes washed before he wakes up again!
Anyway, this is just my 2 cents. If you have lots of help, you may be ok, but it will still be very stressful. If I were you, I would seriously consider deferring if at all possible. Having a baby is the most life-changing event you could possibly imagine. He/she will only be a baby for such a short time- what's a year of med school deferred compared to spending that precious time with your little bundle of joy?

 

[Elliebelly]

I am also a new mom, although I will be starting med school in the fall (at UNC ) and by then my daughter will be nine months. While I can't give you perspective on being a new mother in med school, I can say a bit about early motherhood...

After a difficult pregnancy (I was vomiting daily up to 25 weeks) I had my daughter, Ellie, on Thanksgiving of last year. We've been lucky in many ways, she is a beautiful, healthy girl, no gas problems and started sleeping through the night around nine weeks (although she recently decided to start waking my up at 4 am again). My delivery went well and I have a WONDERFULLY supportive husband. Over all, I think we have had it better than most new parents, but in the beginning things were rough. Its not just the lack of sleep and the exhaustion, but the psychological and hormonal changes that you go through after having a child that are hard to deal with. Its having your breast milk leak through an industrial strength breast pad AND your favorite shirt when you haven't even got used to the fact that people are calling you mom and this child is your responsibility - FOREVER. Its the endless doctors check-ups and learning how to get out of the house in less than twenty minutes, its redefining your relationship with your spouse/partner and your relationship to your own body which becomes (as it is now) unrecognizable to you. In short, becoming a mother is a LOT more than hoping for a good delivery and quick (physical) recovery. I have been blessed in that by the time I start school, I will have spent the first nine months by Ellie's side, falling in love with her and discovering the world in her eyes. Believe me, I am the last person I would call socially conservative (I have two tattoos and consider myself a proud, if happily married, feminist) and I APPLAUDE your choice to be a parent and go to med school, but I do urge you to consider deferring your enrollment for a year. Both motherhood AND med school will be major transitions for you, and you are asking a lot of yourself to do both at once. Whatever you chose to do, I hope that everything works out wonderfully and congrats on both your acceptance and your baby!!

 

[k's mom]

I'm not sure that I can add anything more detailed than the last few posts, but here are my two cents. I was finished with grad school by the time I had my son, but he was in childcare from 5 weeks on (only three weeks after he got out of the NICU!), and I put in close to 70 hours per week at work. Hubby (very supportive), was a pre-med with a full class load and a night job.
It was tough. However, it is doable. I won't try to step on any toes and discuss how you can handle class issues, but will tackle this more from the emotional/recovery aspect.
1. Childcare is going to be the second biggest problem for you (Sleep is the first!). If you can swing it with your husband/relatives, I highly suggest having the baby stay at home (at least for the first few months) while you are at class. The baby will be fairly indifferent (especially since he or she will sleep most of the day!), but it will reduce your stress (and guilt) incredibly. If that is not an option, does the medical school/hospital have a daycare you can use?(GET ON THE WAITING LIST NOW!!!) Having baby close is a big comfort. Don't worry too much though. The stress and guilt of childcare will subside considerably by the time the baby is 6 months or so. (I LOVE taking my 2 year old to daycare....not just because he is so hard to keep up with, but because he likes being with other children)
2. If the childcare situation is settled, I would schedule your studying to occur AT SCHOOL, or at least AWAY FROM HOME. Sure, after awhile, the baby will sleep through the night and you can look at notes/study then, but for the first few months, there will be too many distractions at home to accomplish much of anything. THis will help you maintain a sense of accomplishment and not have to "worry" about bringing work home. The guilt will kill you more easily than anything else, so you need to know that you are either AT SCHOOL, or AT HOME, with very little bleed-over. If this is just not possible, then PLEASE do the following: schedule time for yourself to work-out and de-stress everyday, and schedule family time religiously every week. Perhaps two nights a week with no books or homework, a weekly outing with the baby, and a night for TV and take-out with your husband.
3. Sleep...all you can. This is the number-one thing your husband/partner can do to help you. Ignore the dishes, laundry and shopping. Invest 3.00 in a pair of earplugs, and sleep.

Best of luck to you!

 

[k's mom]

almost forgot...and this is NOT meant to stress you out. If you are thinking about childcare, many(most) centers will not take an infant until they are 4-8 weeks old!