Lost in Translation

単純な馬鹿でありたい。
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My mom is bitching at me, and I need an answer.

I've done an interview and written my thank you note and all that.

In a few days it'll have been almost a month since my interview. Is it proper etiquette to send another note saying I'm still interested in the school or some brown nose crap like that? This wouldn't be an "update" letter.

TIA.
 

steelersfan1243

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My mom is bitching at me, and I need an answer.

I've done an interview and written my thank you note and all that.

In a few days it'll have been almost a month since my interview. Is it proper etiquette to send another note saying I'm still interested in the school or some brown nose crap like that? This wouldn't be an "update" letter.

TIA.
I have written consecutive thank you notes for my interviews every week. So far I have written for six schools.


However, these all have ended with me waking up from such a nightmare
 
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Lost in Translation

Lost in Translation

単純な馬鹿でありたい。
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That's exactly the answer I'm looking for. Too bad she'll be too stubborn to listen, despite telling me to make a thread asking you guys this ridiculous question.

She keeps saying the rules of medical school applications = the rules of the real world. Source: she's never had anything to do with medicine in her entire life. But she knows better than I do, for sure :shrug:
 

LizzyM

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At this point, nothing more you write will help (except perhaps at G'town, they seem to like to hear student's opinions of G'town's awesomeness).
 

phuynh94

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It's unnecessary, and in worst case, an annoyance. Adcoms know you're appreciative and still interested; otherwise you would've withdrawn your application. If you don't hear a response from this school in say...March, then sure, send a follow-up email as a Letter of Intent. But now, schools can't send acceptances till 10/15 anyway, so your follow-up letter would be far too extraneous.
 

Goro

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Once the decision has been made (and it has), there is nothing on earth that can change it, short of a six figure donation check.

Tell your mom to leave you alone if she ever wants you to be a doctor. Tiger parents do a hell of a lot of damage.



My mom is bitching at me, and I need an answer.

I've done an interview and written my thank you note and all that.

In a few days it'll have been almost a month since my interview. Is it proper etiquette to send another note saying I'm still interested in the school or some brown nose crap like that? This wouldn't be an "update" letter.

TIA.
 

gonnif

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Tell your mom to leave you alone if she ever wants you to be a doctor. Tiger parents do a hell of a lot of damage.
Only tell her the bolded part though...
No, tell her all of it. Nothing can make a worse impression on an the maturity of a candidate by having their Tiger Mom call up and demand to speak to the person in charge. This would be funny if it doesnt happen at every school during the cycle
 

Gandyy

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Once the decision has been made (and it has), there is nothing on earth that can change it, short of a six figure donation check.

Tell your mom to leave you alone if she ever wants you to be a doctor. Tiger parents do a hell of a lot of damage.
110% Truth.
 

NotASerialKiller

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No, tell her all of it. Nothing can make a worse impression on an the maturity of a candidate by having their Tiger Mom call up and demand to speak to the person in charge. This would be funny if it doesnt happen at every school during the cycle
Haha seriously? Sorry but it's still funny for me because I haven't experienced it. People are just plain crazy...
 

gonnif

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Haha seriously? Sorry but it's still funny for me because I haven't experienced it. People are just plain crazy...
The difference between genius and stupidity is genius has limits
 
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Lawper

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No, tell her all of it. Nothing can make a worse impression on an the maturity of a candidate by having their Tiger Mom call up and demand to speak to the person in charge. This would be funny if it doesnt happen at every school during the cycle
At the risk of being inconsiderate, I think it would be funny/poetic justice if the adcoms say something along the lines of "well, we were seriously considering your son/daughter, but now that you've called, you've earned him a rejection. Congrats".
 
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StudyLater

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Once the decision has been made (and it has), there is nothing on earth that can change it, short of a six figure donation check.
Please tell me if srs and I'll see what I can do.
 

gonnif

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I usually considered this after an interview - you did your part, now let them do theirs.
 

Crayola227

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The fact that this is about shutting your mom up as the first sentence in your post....

The less that your medical career has to do with your parents, the better off you'll be.

I'll never forget how ****ty it was to talk to my colleagues saddled with a $300K in loans and a hatred of medicine, science, patient care, having to do residency, having no escape, and wondering how to get into non-clinical medicine/admin which is not as easy as you think, all because it's what their family wanted for them.

Read some stuff from Dr. Pamela Wible on physician suicide. Have your mom read it, actually. Have her read every post on how miserable being a doctor is, about all the parents whose kids went into medicine and killed themselves, stating in their suicide notes how afraid to let their parents down they were. Most of those notes mention that.

Going into medicine is a risk factor for suicide. And that's not assuming your parents rode you into it, or even if it is what you would choose on your own, having them ride you while you do it.

As a physician you'll need to have excellent skills in setting boundaries, and while parents are the hardest cases of all, anything beyond financial, emotional, cookie, or domestic housechore support from your parents, is at best a nuisance, and at worst making things harder on you.

You will have so many expectations on you already, and there is not a doctor alive that will tell you people outside the profession can ever really understand, therefore, a lot of otherwise well-intentioned career advice is useless, and the pressure from parents particularly damaging.

I'm sorry, like Goro mentioned, I've just seen so much needless and bordering on dangerous suffering in large part due to parents and adult children not establishing healthy adult boundaries.

Seriously, have her read my post. Find some things for her to read that will help her back off and learn to offer some unconditional love.

When some bad things happened in someone I know's medical career, the ONLY reason they didn't kill themself (and doctors really know what they're doing) is because they knew without a doubt that their parent that their parent was seemingly the only person that would not be disappointed in them.

That's what you need. Not another annoying brown-nosing thank you letter to admissions. Make it clear to her that more than one full-fledged physician said that any disobedience with suggested guidelines for contact with a program can be the end of a medical career before it starts.

This will also be true for med school and residency.

From this point forward, you will abide by whatever your superiors in the medical hierarchy tell you to, or risk "or else." The "or else" can be far nastier than you would ever expect. There's a reason my title is doctor AND "bootlicker."
 
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Crayola227

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And as far as thank you notes after interviews, I believe in doing them, BUT ONLY after finding out what the school's policy is about them and following whatever directions they give you about them to a T.

As I said, any tiny thing you do that is even appears to be NOT following instructions, can be an automatic rejection. Schools place way more importance on your perceived ability to follow instructions than any highly glittered thank you note you might ever send.
 
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AvrgPreMedKid

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My mom is bitching at me, and I need an answer.

I've done an interview and written my thank you note and all that.

In a few days it'll have been almost a month since my interview. Is it proper etiquette to send another note saying I'm still interested in the school or some brown nose crap like that? This wouldn't be an "update" letter.

She keeps saying the rules of medical school applications = the rules of the real world. Source: she's never had anything to do with medicine in her entire life. But she knows better than I do, for sure

TIA.
Sounds like an Indian mom.
 
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caffeinemia

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At this point, nothing more you write will help (except perhaps at G'town, they seem to like to hear student's opinions of G'town's awesomeness).
LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

In seriousness though - that kind of brown nosing is incredibly lame and probably wont change anyone's opinion. One thank you is enough.

Lol, it's like when med students email me repeatedly after interviews to "connect and ask more about my program." Like really bro, I'm just there for the free food, to make sure you're normal, and to see if there's a hotter applicant who I'd try to upsell to my program director instead. (I'm being half facetious about the last part.)
 

Gandyy

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LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

In seriousness though - that kind of brown nosing is incredibly lame and probably wont change anyone's opinion. One thank you is enough.

Lol, it's like when med students email me repeatedly after interviews to "connect and ask more about my program." Like really bro, I'm just there for the free food, to make sure you're normal, and to see if there's a hotter applicant who I'd try to upsell to my program director instead. (I'm being half facetious about the last part.)
You are a very down to earth person. Thats what I like about you and your posts.
 

Crayola227

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I wouldn't make racial assumptions here, as tempting as that is.

I've seen parents of all races put this sort of "you must grow up to be a doctor" nonsense in kids' heads. Or micromanage them into other occupations/fields/houses/spouses/hobbies/sports/instruments/food/clothing choices.

JonBenet's stage parents were Caucasian.

There's no racial monopoly on unhealthy expectations and boundaries when it comes to unhealthy parent/child, adult or not, relationships.
 
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Goro

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Indeed! Tiger parents come in all sizes, colors and cultures.



At the risk of being inconsiderate, I think it would be funny/poetic justice if the adcoms say something along the lines of "well, we were seriously considering your son/daughter, but now that you've called, you've earned him a rejection. Congrats".
I wouldn't make racial assumptions here, as tempting as that is.

I've seen parents of all races put this sort of "you must grow up to be a doctor" nonsense in kids' heads. Or micromanage them into other occupations/fields/houses/spouses/hobbies/sports/instruments/food/clothing choices.

JonBenet's stage parents were Caucasian.

There's no racial monopoly on unhealthy expectations and boundaries when it comes to unhealthy parent/child, adult or not, relationships.
 

Goro

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One more note, OP, and then I'm done. You're an adult now. You're old enough to vote drive, work, smoke, drink (in some states), pay taxes and fight and die for your country. You're thus old enough to grow spine and tell your mom to butt out. on this one


My mom is bitching at me, and I need an answer.

I've done an interview and written my thank you note and all that.

In a few days it'll have been almost a month since my interview. Is it proper etiquette to send another note saying I'm still interested in the school or some brown nose crap like that? This wouldn't be an "update" letter.

TIA.