with graduation nearing the corner, I have been reminiscing about how I have really put my wife through the ringer over the past 4 years and was thinking of something nice I could buy her as a token of appreciation for her support. Anybody else out there thinking of doing something similar? Money is a little tight right now but I'm thinking something from Tiffany's...
Sorry in advance to be such a wet towel.
You might have put your wife through the ringer with med school, but it's nothing compared with what you will put her through in residency, fellowship and early faculty--including financial pressures, stress and work hours. This is especially the case if you have kids or if you are planning to have kids.
My wife strictly forbade me from giving her any expensive trinkets or accessories as our finances are locked together. Given all the things we need to spend our money on (mortgage payments, student loans, child expenses, nanny, etc.), my wife has become exceptionally conservative financially (any time I buy her an expensive gift, she'd eventually make me return it).
This has left me in very much of a bind when it comes to finding her a gift. Turns out that the gifts she values most are those that I make with my own hands or a trip/excursion for us to have some quality time together. Some of the most well-received gifts include:
1. A hand made gift card (pretty goofy I know) with an itinerary for a romantic getaway at a New England B&B.
2. Tickets for a respite at Peter island (British Virgin Islands).
3. A weekend promise to spend time together and not turn on my computer.
4. A home-made DVD movie of some of our happiest moments (quite easy to make with iMovie or Adobe Premiere Elements).
The unfortunate truth is that marriages with physicians are more predisposed to failure for a multiplicity of reasons. Not being happy almost never has to do with a lack of trinkets. What most marriages need are consistent displays of love and commitment (demonstrated especially by committing to spend TIME together). I think special occasions call for a special commitment at getting back to the basics. My wife never got misty over a trinket, but she has over a sloppy and stupid appearing card made with colored construction paper, tinfoil and gluestick (took me a whole day to make it too).
