For Women: Med School and Having Kids?

[Izzygal]

Also posted over in the pre-DO, but thought y'all would have some great insights - here's my OP:

Hi there!

I am almost 29 years old and am a hopeful "career changer" into medicine. At this crossroad, I have a big decision to make - whether to go to med school or whether to become a Nurse Practitioner (through a Direct-Entry Masters Program). My preference is to go to DO School, however, I'm very concerned about timing and how I would pull it off. My boyfriend and I are going to get married when he graduates from his MBA program in two years and then plan to have our first child a year or so after that. Well, in that timing and if I were lucky, that's right when I would be starting med school. So is anyone in the same boat? Should this be a reason why I chose NP over DO? Kids are very important to me and I don't want to be an absentee parent where our kids are raised in daycare, but it seems like if I choose DO school, this is what would happen. I don't even know what I'm asking here - but does anyone identify? Your thoughts?

Thanks,
Izzy

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[kimt2234]

I am sort of in the same boat. I am 25 and if accepted when I apply will be 28 or 29 the first year I start med school. I am just recently married, and my husband is still trying to find a career. My issues are what if he finds a career where we live and then I have to move to go to med school, then move again 4 years later because os residency. I am wanting to go into women's helath so I a looking at being done with school and residency by the time I am 37 or so. We planned on having children around our mid-thirties anyway, but we also wanted to be financially stable and settled and such, which may take longer because of med school debt. I am not sure of what to do for myself at times, but I know that I want this career and if and when I have kids, they will see that I am happy. I would not choose a career based solely on when I wanted to have children. You need to think about you right now and what wiil ultimately make you and your man happy 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years down the road in terms of career decisions. If you are not happy in a career, you bet your ass that attitude will fall on your husband and children. One thing I appreciate the heck out of my husband for is that he taught me not to settle in terms of a career. I am appalled at the # of people who hate their jobs, or wish they were doing something else more often than not. That has been a serious issue with me is trying to be as sure as I can that I am choosing the career I know I want. It is hard, believe me, I wish I didn't put so much emphasis on how my career will play a huge part in my overall quality of life, but that is reality. You are not at a job for 10 hours a week. Think about how much time and energy the average person spends at their job and multiply that by 30+ years.

 

[Beau Geste]

Hi Izzy,

I am 29 too (or will be in 2 weeks!) and will be applying to med school for entry when I'm 31 (almost 32) (crossing fingers). My fiancee and I talk about it every now and then - we both want kids, but he's also 7 years older than me (although he looks young!), so we aren't sure either. If (when) I get in, I'll have to move somewhere for sure, but we have a house in an up-and-coming area that could potnentially boom equity-wise in the next 7-10 years, so my fiancee will probably stay with the house, at least at first. (Maybe we could rent it later, but we have to make the mortgage too).

We thought it would be optimal right after med school, since we would be apart for most of the med school time, and neither one of us wants to be a "single parent" - it's not fair to each other. But, if a suprise happens, we'll be happy and work around it, but at this point, we're shooting for later. I have a lot of friends who had their children in their late 30's/early-mid 40's and the kids are happy, and so are they.

I dunno- people are living longer today and at least for our families are healty and active into their 80's! (My fiance's grandpa plays golf everyday - pulling clubs at 85!)

It's a lot to think about, and interesting how other people have handled their situations, but ultimately you and your situations are unique, and I'm sure you'll handle them as best you can!

 

[ksparkman]

I am 30 as of this July. I have 4 children ranging in age from 10, 9, and 19 month old twins. I changed my major from nursing to pre-med. I decided to just do it. I think that you MUST have a supportive spouse. I don't know what I would do without my husband. He's my biggest fan. My parents are also close by, and they help when they can.

I say follow your dreams. You can't be superwoman. You won't be able to do it all. You may be gone a lot, but eventually school will be over, and it's the kind of parent you are in the long run that counts. Your child(ren) will adjust, and when they are older they will realize the sacrifices you made for your family.

Good luck to you and let us know how you do.

 

[Izzygal]

Gosh thank you so much for your replies! It's nice to know that there are others in my same boat, and that people have succesfully accomplished this in the past! One way or another, I'll make a decision and roll with it!

Izzy

 

[Izzygal]

I am 30 as of this July. I have 4 children ranging in age from 10, 9, and 19 month old twins. I changed my major from nursing to pre-med. I decided to just do it. I think that you MUST have a supportive spouse. I don't know what I would do without my husband. He's my biggest fan. My parents are also close by, and they help when they can.

I say follow your dreams. You can't be superwoman. You won't be able to do it all. You may be gone a lot, but eventually school will be over, and it's the kind of parent you are in the long run that counts. Your child(ren) will adjust, and when they are older they will realize the sacrifices you made for your family.

Good luck to you and let us know how you do.

Hi there! Just curious - what was the biggest factor that made you switch from nursing to pre-med?

 

[medworm]

Same boat, but no significant other yet. I figured if I got into med school and have a great husband who can be a hands-on dad as well, I'll have kids in my mid to late 30s. If both of us have too much work on our hands, then no kids. I really never imagined that I would be a childless woman, but that prospect does get dimmer with med school.

 

[tiredmom]

Hi. It's a tough question. If your spouse is supportive, do whatever makes you the happiest. I'm currently a MS3, married, 29 years old with 2 kids, 10 and 5 yrs, the oldest with special needs. I was an RN for 4 years before going to med school. My motivations for medicine instead of NP was:
1. I wanted the autonomy to see/treat my patients without having to okay it with another provider.
2. I did not want my practice to be dependent on someone else's work (in Texas, you have to have a physician backup... didn't want to have my practice affected if that backup decides to quit/move/retire.)
3. I know at least 3 NP's who were still picking up nursing shifts with us in L&D on the weekends to pay their bills. Not only do I have to make up on retirement planning for my husband and I, we've got to get enough away for my son, as he will never be able to work or support himself.
4. I want to be an Ob/Gyn, and am too interventional to be a CNM.

I'm lucky because my husband is the most supportive, awesome person. He really said, "whatever you want to do...really want to do, I'll support you 100%".
Good luck.
tiredmom

 

[sunnyjohn]

I am 30 as of this July. I have 4 children ranging in age from 10, 9, and 19 month old twins. I changed my major from nursing to pre-med. I decided to just do it. I think that you MUST have a supportive spouse. I don't know what I would do without my husband. He's my biggest fan. My parents are also close by, and they help when they can.

I say follow your dreams. You can't be superwoman. You won't be able to do it all. You may be gone a lot, but eventually school will be over, and it's the kind of parent you are in the long run that counts. Your child(ren) will adjust, and when they are older they will realize the sacrifices you made for your family.

Good luck to you and let us know how you do.

Hi ksparkman,

How R U? I was sorry to hear on allnurse that you did not get into the El Centro ADN. I am glad you found something that works for you (pre-med)


Isn't SDN great?