Over the last couple of years, the one thing that deterred me was drama. I was weary about the prospect of facing major drama each day in my life. I'm sure that I could handle it, but I wasn't sure if I would be happy in the long run. Though pharmacy is also a demanding field, I felt this profession would be less dramatic and allow me more flexibility and some consistency in my life.
I started out as a pre-med when entering college because I was 100% sure that I wanted to go into health care. However, I started taking prereqs for pharmacy in my second year of undergrad when I started meeting pre-pharms and people in the field. So, the next two years of school had pre-med and pre-pharm in a dead even heat. I prepared for the MCAT primarily since it would cross over for the PCAT.
During the first semester of my fourth year, I happened to go through an identity crisis as I was involved in too many activities coupled with a sudden loss of motivation. I didn't go through either med school or pharmacy school admissions very well and I botched taking the PCAT because my planning was non-existent. Family relations were very strained, my research adviser who just hired me probably regretted choosing me, GPA was dropping, and I had difficulty getting out of bed just to go to class. I would just lay there hoping the world would pass me by. I felt so depressed that I had a counseling session at school.
I just wanted to get back to controlling my own destiny like in high school when I earned high marks and had a "swagger" when approaching success and life. I missed those days, and though I learned that I was an overrated high school student due to grade inflation by my school district, I knew in college that I had the abilities to be remarkable. I lost my figurative "fire" at some point and they only way to get it back was to somehow control my own destiny again. So even though I did apply to both medical and pharmacy schools for 2007, pharmacy took the lead as I felt that decision was a result of controlling my destiny rather than what my parents and peers expected of me. I felt control now and hopefully when I make it through.
So I felt more excitement for pharmacy than medicine in my fifth year, though its not like I dismissed medicine entirely. The toughest decision I could've been forced to deal with was the possibility of my in-state medical school accepting me along with the three pharmacy schools that accepted me. I guess it was fate, my declining GPA, and the adcoms at pharmacy schools giving me a chance when medical schools wouldn't, that prevented this decision from ever taking place.
Had I been faced with that choice, I probably would have chosen the pharmacy route. I felt more driven to go through the pharmacy admissions than medical admissions this year, so perhaps my failures in the latter was due to a self-fulfilling prophecy that I wasn't fully content with the medical route. I looked very hard at both fields, the opportunities each would provide, and the life I would lead. Looking at specific pharmacy careers, I felt more comfortable in a pharmacist role.
Right now, I'm am taking the summer off aside from finishing off my research position. I feel invigorated about the immense avenues as a pharmacist and I am looking forward to starting over again and trying to put the last two and a half years of undergrad behind me. I didn't even attend my college graduation last weekend because I didn't feel a sense of accomplishment getting through college this way. My undergraduate life ended too roughly for me to care. I'm not done with post-secondary schooling yet...........
Whew, I apologize for this long post. It just felt good getting this off my chest since I have never really talked about this to anyone. How ironic that I suddenly chose to tell this story to a bunch of anonymous people on a message board.
