Friends, Relationships, Social Life

[rwalker89]

Hi all,

This has been on my mind for sometime and I did not want to hijack the other thread currently in circulation on making friends.

I'm a Junior bio major and am a little more than midway through this premed journey. What's really starting to get to me is the lack of relationships I've built in college, both concerning friends and significant others. For the longest time I was able to say to myself, "don't worry about it, I'm in college for one and only one thing...to set myself up for a satisfying job helping others where I can choose where I'd like to live and live comfortably." Lately, however this has not sufficed as I've realized that life (even it is 4 or 5 years) is about enjoying it, meeting good people and forming relationships with them. I'm worried that this will carry over to medical school, particularly with women, as their are not as many available as their are on an undergraduate campus.

I'm frustrated because I know that if I was out on the field playing more, I'd be scoring more. Going to bed alone every night is just getting a little bit old. I'm not about to change the road I've been traveling on steadily for the past 2 and half years, but I just wanted to reach out to others who are dealing with this same problem, along with those who've dealt with it before and may shed some words of wisdom on it.

Bear in mind, my living conditions are not good for being premed. I'm in a fraternity house with a majority of business majors who drink on average 3 nights out of the week. Lots of guys are hooking up with girls and I say, "****ttt, that could totally be me, but I'm not drinking tonight cause I have studying to do tomorrow." Just a ****ty situation. End rant and thanks.

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[texahn]

youre probably doing just fine

 

[itellitlikeitis]

Hi all,

This has been on my mind for sometime and I did not want to hijack the other thread currently in circulation on making friends.

I'm a Junior bio major and am a little more than midway through this premed journey. What's really starting to get to me is the lack of relationships I've built in college, both concerning friends and significant others. For the longest time I was able to say to myself, "don't worry about it, I'm in college for one and only one thing...to set myself up for a satisfying job helping others where I can choose where I'd like to live and live comfortably." Lately, however this has not sufficed as I've realized that life (even it is 4 or 5 years) is about enjoying it, meeting good people and forming relationships with them. I'm worried that this will carry over to medical school, particularly with women, as their are not as many available as their are on an undergraduate campus.

I'm frustrated because I know that if I was out on the field playing more, I'd be scoring more. Going to bed alone every night is just getting a little bit old. I'm not about to change the road I've been traveling on steadily for the past 2 and half years, but I just wanted to reach out to others who are dealing with this same problem, along with those who've dealt with it before and may shed some words of wisdom on it.

Bear in mind, my living conditions are not good for being premed. I'm in a fraternity house with a majority of business majors who drink on average 3 nights out of the week. Lots of guys are hooking up with girls and I say, "****ttt, that could totally be me, but I'm not drinking tonight cause I have studying to do tomorrow." Just a ****ty situation. End rant and thanks.

Being a pre-med and having a social life are not mutually exclusive like you made it out to be for your 3 years. When I was an undergrad, the people who were the most successful were the ones who were able to balance their academic life with everything else. Undergrad was the most fun I had (still make time to do other stuff in med school but I don't have nearly as much free time as I did during undergrad). Hell there are people in my class who are married and a few even had babies during the year and they are still doing fine in the classes (since so far everyone has passed every course)

Unless you're an engineer or studying for the MCATs, you really shouldn't have to study all day long. Is there anything else you're doing (research/volunteer/work) or are you just going to class and then coming back to study?... Are you a transfer student? (Since they sometimes have more difficulties making friends when they transfer into 4 year colleges). You're in a frat- your grade isn't going to plummet from an A to a B if you spend even one night out of a 7-day week to socialize and hang out. You have to de-stress somehow

 

[docelh]

Life has trade-offs? Really?!

Couple of things.

Meeting girls will never be as easy as it is in school.

Patterns become die-hard. Do you really want to end up as the 30 year old resident virgin/married his first girlfriend due to circumstances beyond his control?

 

[rwalker89]

Yea, I guess your right. This semester has been the worst as far as a constant work load goes. I'm studying abroad next semester so hopefully things will change then.

 

[rwalker89]

Life has trade-offs? Really?!

Couple of things.

Meeting girls will never be as easy as it is in school.

Patterns become die-hard. Do you really want to end up as the 30 year old resident virgin/married his first girlfriend due to circumstances beyond his control?

Obviously not. I just feel trapped in this fraternity house as I'm not a typical frat guy--I'm a biology major with a 3.9 who likes art, jazz, classical music and doesn't use booze as a crutch anymore.

 

[docelh]

Good for you. Because there are a lot of guys (and girls) in medicine and engineering who do end up that way.

 

[PremedGunner]

don't worry about it, thread starter. friends are over-rated. relationships are just meaningless commitments based on immature desires. having a social life is generally useless, although it may be beneficial to do something in a group every once in a while. don't let anything distract you from becoming an md, because all of your "friends" will wish they were you in 10 years while they are slaving away at a corporate job, counting down the days until retirement. stay thirsty, my friend.

it would be easier to meet people if you don't say you like jazz, art, or classical music, because those things suck and are socially unacceptable.

 

[musafirah]

dude.. hooking up with girls cuz you and they are drunk isn't the same as building relationships and wont replace loneliness. its just irresponsible and meaningless behavior that hopefully those guys will grow out of and wont have gotten very far in their college careers because of it. you're doing fine. but it shouldnt be hard to make friendships (maybe go to some events with other premeds?) and friendships lead to good relationships..

 

[latrala2300]

dude.. hooking up with girls cuz you and they are drunk isn't the same as building relationships and wont replace loneliness. its just irresponsible and meaningless behavior that hopefully those guys will grow out of and wont have gotten very far in their college careers because of it. you're doing fine. but it shouldnt be hard to make friendships (maybe go to some events with other premeds?) and friendships lead to good relationships..

hook-ups are (in my humble opinion) actually a very effective way to manage internal needs, pre-med coursework/activities, and social interaction.

 

[VikingLegacy]

baleeted

 

[musafirah]

hook-ups are (in my humble opinion) actually a very effective way to manage internal needs, pre-med coursework/activities, and social interaction.

..and an effective way to get STDs!

in context, he said his housemates do this on average 3 nights a week..

 

[Musclemass]

I was going to help you until you displayed admiration for drunken frat scum and the ****** they involve themselves with en masse.

Enjoy your hand.

Aren't you the guy who identified himself in another thread as being a Mormon?

Whether or not, way to go bro! Jesus loves you too! Is this an example of the goodwill you spread on Sundays?

 

[VikingLegacy]

baleeted

 

[musafirah]

man, i can't decide who's the bigger douchebag.. the guy calling partyers 'scum' and '******' (harsh but has some truth about their distasteful immature lifestyle) or the guy attacking his religion because of it...

i vote for Musclemass

 

[rwalker89]

Okay let's ditch our opinions on religion and fraternity lifestyle (which is undoubtedly immature and decedent, but that's neither here nor there). Thanks to all those who responded meaningfully!

 

[blackarrowmoose]

its not too late to change these habits, sure its important to get a good GPA but manage your time better, and also im assuming that since you live in a frat house, you are part a frat.

frats have parties, parties have lots of underclassmen girls, no matter how unattractive you are, they will hookup with you just b/c your a frat guy and your older.

+ if your looking for a meaningful relationship (i know i will be), try your best to meet people. talk to the girls in your classes, even if you have no interest in them, your bound to meet their friends, and so forth.

 

[Silverman780]

youre probably doing just fine

Thats probably what the craigslist killer thought too.

http://www.newser.com/story/56710/police-charge-premed-student-as-craigslist-killer.html

 

[texahn]

Thats probably what the craigslist killer thought too.

http://www.newser.com/story/56710/police-charge-premed-student-as-craigslist-killer.html

its also what a lot of non-murderers think too

 

[Playa]

Hi all,

This has been on my mind for sometime and I did not want to hijack the other thread currently in circulation on making friends.

I'm a Junior bio major and am a little more than midway through this premed journey. What's really starting to get to me is the lack of relationships I've built in college, both concerning friends and significant others. For the longest time I was able to say to myself, "don't worry about it, I'm in college for one and only one thing...to set myself up for a satisfying job helping others where I can choose where I'd like to live and live comfortably." Lately, however this has not sufficed as I've realized that life (even it is 4 or 5 years) is about enjoying it, meeting good people and forming relationships with them. I'm worried that this will carry over to medical school, particularly with women, as their are not as many available as their are on an undergraduate campus.

I'm frustrated because I know that if I was out on the field playing more, I'd be scoring more. Going to bed alone every night is just getting a little bit old. I'm not about to change the road I've been traveling on steadily for the past 2 and half years, but I just wanted to reach out to others who are dealing with this same problem, along with those who've dealt with it before and may shed some words of wisdom on it.

Bear in mind, my living conditions are not good for being premed. I'm in a fraternity house with a majority of business majors who drink on average 3 nights out of the week. Lots of guys are hooking up with girls and I say, "****ttt, that could totally be me, but I'm not drinking tonight cause I have studying to do tomorrow." Just a ****ty situation. End rant and thanks.

You could start by the proper usage of "their", and I had a lot of fun in school, but I was also where you are at the start. It gets better, trust me, you just can't give a fck, stay on your path, and put yourself out there two nights a week outside of your comfort zone. If you do this, it will attract people, and women.

don't worry about it, thread starter. friends are over-rated. relationships are just meaningless commitments based on immature desires. having a social life is generally useless, although it may be beneficial to do something in a group every once in a while. don't let anything distract you from becoming an md, because all of your "friends" will wish they were you in 10 years while they are slaving away at a corporate job, counting down the days until retirement. stay thirsty, my friend.

it would be easier to meet people if you don't say you like jazz, art, or classical music, because those things suck and are socially unacceptable.

Clearly him living in a box his whole life has…..severely messed him up. This is what you don't want to end up as.

dude.. hooking up with girls cuz you and they are drunk isn't the same as building relationships and wont replace loneliness. its just irresponsible and meaningless behavior that hopefully those guys will grow out of and wont have gotten very far in their college careers because of it. you're doing fine. but it shouldnt be hard to make friendships (maybe go to some events with other premeds?) and friendships lead to good relationships..

Actually hooking up with drunk hot chicks is very enjoyable, and very rewarding. Hooking up in general is fun, and I like the part where I lead the girl on for a week before breaking her heart…..that's just me though, I love being an ashole, but probably isn't fun for most people. This is the only time in your life you will get to do this so go out and enjoy.

 

[Chamahk]

don't worry about it, thread starter. friends are over-rated. relationships are just meaningless commitments based on immature desires. having a social life is generally useless, although it may be beneficial to do something in a group every once in a while. don't let anything distract you from becoming an md, because all of your "friends" will wish they were you in 10 years while they are slaving away at a corporate job, counting down the days until retirement. stay thirsty, my friend.

it would be easier to meet people if you don't say you like jazz, art, or classical music, because those things suck and are socially unacceptable.

congratulations exposing your ignorance . someone can listen to Kanye or Lil Wayne and that's completely fine and they're cool but when OP listens to what he likes or enjoys it's unacceptable and it sucks??? GTFO!!!! If that's the case then it's not worth meeting people then since they'll bash you for not being like them. I enjoy jazz and classical music myself. And I also enjoy art. Why don't you throw a label on me??? You're just telling him to drop HIS lifestyles and HIM and take on what the "rest" are doing and that's pretty lame. It's not worth losing yourself for others.
------------------

To the OP, you don't know what you're getting yourself into. I wish I could be like you, man. Stay focused and committed to my work 24/7 and stay to myself. Friends and "hooking up" aren't all that they are carved up to be. If I could go back in time, I'd change things so that I would never have had a girlfriend before. Girls will ALWAYS be there. Forget them now and keep your eye on your goal. You said you enjoy art, jazz and classical music try doing those as hobbies. Of the people telling you to "let loose" how many of them have GPA's higher than yours? I would like to know.

If I could I would stay in all day studying, practicing piano, working out, studying the Bible and playing FIFA 11 that's the way to go.

People before you have done the whole "hook up" thing with girls far better looking and more than you can imagine and it didn't take them far in the end.

 

[Longshanks]

it would be easier to meet people if you don't say you like jazz, art, or classical music, because those things suck and are socially unacceptable.

Yeah, jazz and art suck

That's why artists tend to be very sociable people and average the most sexual partners.

I played jazz back in the day, as well as play guitar in a few rock bands, and hosted a jazz radio show during college - didn't harm my social habits in the slightest bit, and actually met cool people cause of it.

Way to throw your friends under he bus too; real classy.
Keep gunnin' 'em, baby.

 

[DP4NB3S301314]

To the OP, you don't know what you're getting yourself into. I wish I could be like you, man. Stay focused and committed to my work 24/7 and stay to myself. Friends and "hooking up" aren't all that they are carved up to be. If I could go back in time, I'd change things so that I would never have had a girlfriend before. Girls will ALWAYS be there. Forget them now and keep your eye on your goal. You said you enjoy art, jazz and classical music try doing those as hobbies. Of the people telling you to "let loose" how many of them have GPA's higher than yours? I would like to know.

If I could I would stay in all day studying, practicing piano, working out, studying the Bible and playing FIFA 11 that's the way to go.

People before you have done the whole "hook up" thing with girls far better looking and more than you can imagine and it didn't take them far in the end.

I can't agree more Chamahk. OP, have you watch the movie call "Inception"? "She's not real, my world isn't real!." - Inception.

Look, I'm not telling you to anti-social. But here is my thoughts:

1) It's absolutely okay to make friends in college, but my main focus should be schoolwork.

2) My dad once told me that" You are NOT going to meet your potential wife in college." I don't know why, but I believe what he said.

3) As a man, I want to be as successful as my father. He started his business back in 90's, it took him 20 years of work to become a successful man. He's now a millionaire. Then I question myself, is it worth to spend my 20's and early 30's of my life in medicine (Something I do enjoy), or just graduate college with a 2.0gpa and pay another 20 years of my life to become successful? I mean you don't need 20 years of work to become successful if you lucky. But deep under my heart, I know I had never been lucky.

4) "It's okay for a MAN to start a family at age 35." quoted from my dad. I don't know about you OP, but for me, I would get a warm shelter, a car, and food first before think about married.

5) Last but not least, we all young man, I feel what you feel. Whenever I see a couple kissing, a strong thirst burst out my heart. We broke up half year ago, right after High school graduate. It sucks to be single, sometimes I just need someone to talk to or more importantly - emotional support. I know its for my own goods, I know what I wanted.

Anyways, I hope this helps and don't feel your along. Please bear with my grammar. English isn't my first language.

 

[JSTAR04]

^^^ good speech i need that to. I know how you feel OP