Friends that don't understand what you are going through?

[badlydrawnvik]

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So does anyone else have friends that completely do not understand what you are going through with being a senior in college and applying to medical school? I just don't think they realize how in depth and difficult the process is. I've missed out on a lot of stuff this semester which sucks as it is. Then today one of my housemates made this obnoxious comment about me not being here for something on Monday night and I just snapped at him and his girlfriend and was so pissed off at how unsympathetic they were being. Anyone else?

 

[TimmyTheWonderD]

So does anyone else have friends that completely do not understand what you are going through....

I have already graduated from college, but yes, friends/family/coworkers/husband.... none of them can completely understand what this whole process feels like as they are not in it "first person". Moreover, no amount of explanation is ever going to get them to the point where they are on the same page with you. They are supportive, yes, most of the time, but completely empathetic, well that is another story. I am almost enjoying venturing out alone as it is my chance to take the world on by myself. Everyone around me has been supportive through everything else...this is my time to go kick some butt! At times, it would be nice to vent to someone who can truly appreciate what you are venting about.... I think that is why we all come here.

 

[nrddct]

yeah, my friends and parents equated getting a med school interview to getting a job interview???!!! Really pissed me off. Parents didn't really care I got into med school either. 🙁

 

[TimmyTheWonderD]

Parents didn't really care I got into med school either. 🙁

Yea, I would have thought my parents would have been doing kartwheels or back-flips by now.

 

[medicomel]

mine didn't either, but then again i don't care.

 

[nrddct]

haha, I thought I was the only one out there. It was the sweetest moment for me and thats all that matters.

 

[wildcatbio06]

Yeah, I had a kid in my ecology class tell me that he checked out the MCAT and didn't understand what all the fuss was about. It made me laugh out loud.

 

[Hausdaddy24]

I don't think anyone can really understand what we go through as premeds. Sure they can be supportive and empathetic but I don't think anyone can truly understand what some of us go through without actually experiencing it themselves. The same thing can be said for most of us and current med students, we think we have a clue what med school will be like but we really won't know until we actually go through it ourselves.

 

[BooMed]

yeah, my friends and parents equated getting a med school interview to getting a job interview???!!! Really pissed me off. Parents didn't really care I got into med school either. 🙁

Wow, I thought I was the only person whose parents didn't care about them going to med school!

My older sister (who is kind of kooky) actually is mad because she says I'm "turning the key in the jail cell of society" or something.

Sigh... that's what happens when your family is all hippies. 🙄 🙁

 

[nrddct]

Wow, I thought I was the only person whose parents didn't care about them going to med school!

My older sister (who is kind of kooky) actually is mad because she says I'm "turning the key in the jail cell of society" or something.

Sigh... that's what happens when your family is all hippies. 🙄 🙁

Your older sis is just jealous because you actually made something of yourself...
I would like to send out congrats to everyone for getting through this hellish process. To those going through hard times, just think, there's thousands of SDNer's that know what your going through. Thats why I spend so much time here.

 

[67192]

LOL, guess my family is a little different. My mom checks the mail for med. school stuff for me and calls me excitedly every time she gets something. She cried when I got my MCAT score... (although, she does cry a lot...) 😳

 

[psipsina]

Yah my husband is the only one who really gets it because he has been there with me thru the whole pre-med thing, but even his reaction to my acceptance was underenthused. . . he said he is happy but unsurprised because he expects me to succeed . . . and no one else seems to get just how competitive this whole thing is, they just can't believe that somone like me and don't get how mediocre I am compared to so many others in this game with me . . .

 

[BooMed]

LOL, guess my family is a little different. My mom checks the mail for med. school stuff for me and calls me excitedly every time she gets something. She cried when I got my MCAT score... (although, she does cry a lot...) 😳

Happy cry or sad cry? Happy I hope!

 

[MollyMalone]

Yah my husband is the only one who really gets it because he has been there with me thru the whole pre-med thing, but even his reaction to my acceptance was underenthused. . . he said he is happy but unsurprised because he expects me to succeed . . . and no one else seems to get just how competitive this whole thing is, they just can't believe that somone like me and don't get how mediocre I am compared to so many others in this game with me . . .

I hear you on this. My boyfriend has been totally supportive (he's been through it, though it was a while ago for him). He was happy for me when I got my acceptance but rather underwhelmed since he never expected anything different. I knew that my basic stats were pretty competitive but my EC's are on the weak side and one never knows how schools are going to look at non-trad status and already being a health professional in a shortage field. So I was very, very nervous. And no one else in my family/friends had ANY idea what I was going through. That's why SDN rocks! 🙂

 

[mag68]

I am still waiting for my interview invitations, and now, everytime I talk to my dad, he tells me to start applying to grad schools. I know that's his way of saying, "hey, it's okay if you don't get in." But hearing that just makes me have less and less faith in myself. 🙁

 

[argonana]

I knew that my basic stats were pretty competitive but my EC's are on the weak side and one never knows how schools are going to look at non-trad status and already being a health professional in a shortage field.

! To me, your ECs don't look weak at all!!!! They are all so interesting!

It's an interesting point about your being a health professional in a shortage field--has anyone grilled you about choosing to leave the field?

 

[67192]

Happy cry or sad cry? Happy I hope!

not really either, LOL. She knew I didn't do as well as I had hoped, but was really proud of me for getting a decent score. She's cries after most "big" things happen in my life or my sister's life... guess that's where my "empathy" comes from. 😉

 

[MollyMalone]

! To me, your ECs don't look weak at all!!!! They are all so interesting!

It's an interesting point about your being a health professional in a shortage field--has anyone grilled you about choosing to leave the field?

Well, most of the things I've done have been paid -- not a lot of volunteer stuff going on, which I was a bit leery about. And my research wouldn't really stand up to heavy scrutiny as it's been very basic and most of it hasn't gone anywhere. 🙁 Thanks for the props, though, it makes me feel better!

Everyone has asked me why the switch (except my first interview, she said I addressed it completely in my PS) but no one has mentioned anything about the nursing shortage so far. I hope this trend continues as I think it's a really stupid argument... if I wasn't going into medicine, I'd leave nursing for something else, so it's not as if they'd be preserving a nurse by rejecting me!

 

[PhotoMD]

So does anyone else have friends that completely do not understand what you are going through with being a senior in college and applying to medical school? I just don't think they realize how in depth and difficult the process is. I've missed out on a lot of stuff this semester which sucks as it is. Then today one of my housemates made this obnoxious comment about me not being here for something on Monday night and I just snapped at him and his girlfriend and was so pissed off at how unsympathetic they were being. Anyone else?

I think we're all better than this descent into self-pity. Isn't it possible your friends also have uniquely difficult lives and your belief that yours is so much harder clouds your ability to see that? You're going to be a doctor, and your entire career will be spent putting your own life aside for others' benefit. You might want to start practicing that now.

 

[drmota]

when i told my dad about my tulane interview he goes "what, are they gonna interview you in a boat?" i hung up shortly afterward.
-mota

 

[Turkeyman]

when i told my dad about my tulane interview he goes "what, are they gonna interview you in a boat?" i hung up shortly afterward.
-mota

LOL wow

 

[kalenakai]

And that's why we have each other on SDN!! 😀

(sorry didnt bother reading the other posts)

 

[zero2hero]

when i told my dad about my tulane interview he goes "what, are they gonna interview you in a boat?" i hung up shortly afterward.
-mota

hilarious

 

[BaylorGuy]

And that's why we have each other on SDN!! 😀

(sorry didnt bother reading the other posts)

Exactly....

When i was going through this thing last year, my friends thought i would like get into a school in like a month. None of them realized, nor cared to realize, that it takes an ass-long time....in addition to all the money. They joked around about it, but i knew that they couldn't know how tough it would be without going through it themselves. Unfortunately, none of them are pre-meds.

And thus...............that's why we have each other on SDN!! 😀

 

[zero2hero]

I say we have one huge group hug.

 

[unfrozencaveman]

Whoa. A thread exactly when you need it.
Just got off the phone with my best friend- we both worked in finance after graduation until I veered off to do the med school thing. So, he's applying to MBA programs while I'm applying MD.. Actually I should say, he's applying to *an* MBA program- no "s". And that's kind of how the game works- you work your butt off in business, have the right resume, you get into the program of your choice. So he's constantly asking me "when do you hear from Stanford?", "You would choose stanford over ___ though, right?" If I get into Stanford, I will eat my own arm.

 

[BaylorGuy]

Whoa. A thread exactly when you need it.
Just got off the phone with my best friend- we both worked in finance after graduation until I veered off to do the med school thing. So, he's applying to MBA programs while I'm applying MD.. Actually I should say, he's applying to *an* MBA program- no "s". And that's kind of how the game works- you work your butt off in business, have the right resume, you get into the program of your choice. So he's constantly asking me "when do you hear from Stanford?", "You would choose stanford over ___ though, right?" If I get into Stanford, I will eat my own arm.

If you eat your arm....i want a picture.

But yes, you definitely just hit it on the spot. Had lunch with an old college buddy this past weekend and he's applying to law school....yeah, a law school, no "s." He keeps wondering when I'll hear back, not knowing that its like a 5-6 month process. All he does it submit an application, his LSAT score, and transcript and he's golden. :sigh:

 

[Jwax]

Yah my husband is the only one who really gets it because he has been there with me thru the whole pre-med thing, but even his reaction to my acceptance was underenthused. . . he said he is happy but unsurprised because he expects me to succeed . . . and no one else seems to get just how competitive this whole thing is, they just can't believe that somone like me and don't get how mediocre I am compared to so many others in this game with me . . .

That is exactly how I feel. My boyfriend of 3 & 1/2 years has been telling me the whole time "You'll get in for sure." Blah, blah, blah... and before I took the mcat, all my friends/family/etc and people who had just met me all said "I'm sure you'll do great!" They didn't even know me, how could they tell how I would do? For the people who do know me, they all think I'm smart & what not, but really, compared to a lot of other applicants, I'm below average. I will be elated if the medical schools decide that I am worthy to attend, but everyone else will just be like "we knew you could do it". 🙄

 

[Jwax]

Whoa. A thread exactly when you need it.
Just got off the phone with my best friend- we both worked in finance after graduation until I veered off to do the med school thing. So, he's applying to MBA programs while I'm applying MD.. Actually I should say, he's applying to *an* MBA program- no "s". And that's kind of how the game works- you work your butt off in business, have the right resume, you get into the program of your choice. So he's constantly asking me "when do you hear from Stanford?", "You would choose stanford over ___ though, right?" If I get into Stanford, I will eat my own arm.

that would make practicing many kinds of medicine somewhat difficult.

 

[unfrozencaveman]

Yeah, but I went to *stanford*. Put that in your pipe and smoke it with your two arms!

 

[Chris127]

Is law school really that much easier to apply to than med school?

I heard all you need to get into law school is a BA and a decent LSAT score. This true?

 

[drmota]

Is law school really that much easier to apply to than med school?

I heard all you need to get into law school is a BA and a decent LSAT score. This true?

more or less. and most people apply to <10 schools. but on the flip side there are a lot of crappy law schools.
-mota

 

[BaylorGuy]

more or less. and most people apply to <10 schools. but on the flip side there are a lot of crappy law schools.
-mota

mota hit it on the nose. All you need is a BA and an LSAT score. However, there are lots of crappy law schools. Depending on which law school you get it may decide on whether you will do good or not.

 

[UCDavisdude]

LOL, guess my family is a little different. My mom checks the mail for med. school stuff for me and calls me excitedly every time she gets something. She cried when I got my MCAT score... (although, she does cry a lot...) 😳

lol....did she cry because you did well/bad or just cry because the scores came in the mail...

 

[Orth2006]

My dad has also been very supportive. In a way i think this process has gotten him and I a little closer. Although now its like he's a kid on a trip saying "Are we there yet?!! Are we there yet?!". He keeps calling and asking "any news?". I'm like "NOT YET I told you that yesterday, when I hear something obviously I will tell you". Well I didnt exactly tell him in those words but sheesh!! It gets me nervous sometimes when he keeps calling and checking to the point I stopped answering a few times - 😀. Anyway I think he's got the message and has toned down a bit.

 

[unfrozencaveman]

One, I dont think law school and business school are easy to get into by any means- the process is just very different, so that once you start, your expectations of where you're going are completely unlike how the med school crapshoot works. The downside to MBA and JD is that if you go to a bad law school, you suffer way more than going to a lower ranked med school. Just to jump to their defense...

And two, after a few years of having my parents try and talk me out of this med school thing, I'm finding them oddly proud and supportive. When I got in, I was away on a business trip all day, so I called them only and was going to call friends and family later on. By the end of the day, I had like 50 messages because my mom had called everyone, and well, their mom, on the entire planet.

 

[MCYan]

My girlfriend has been very inconsiderate. She broke up with me on the same day I found out I got my first acceptance. That was a huge pain. Although she had all kinds of reasons to break up with me, I figure the main reason is that she is going to be a i-banker next year making 100K a year while I will still be paying tuition for 4 more years. F***.

 

[Jon Davis]

When I hang with my friends, they understand but I dont think they really know whats going on. I tell them its stressful but their response is, "Just smoke this and you'll feel better". heh

 

[anystream]

I agree that people respond in unexpected ways. For example, I called my grandma to tell her I got into med school...the conversation went something like this:

me: so, I got into med school!
grandma: you got into Harvard?
me: no, but I'm really happy because I GOT INTO MED SCHOOL (hint, hint: I am happy!)
grandma: oh, I think you should go to Harvard. Harvard's such a great school...
me: well, I don't exactly have much say in the matter, but I will let them know you said that 🙄

it kind of detracts from the happiness of getting into one of my top choices, ya know? jeez grandma, way to rain on the parade. 🙂


on the other hand, I had this crazy thing happen to me on an airplane...this guy started talking to me about my major (I was wearing a college sweatshirt) and he was like "so, you're a bio major...you wanna be a doctor or something?" and I was like "well...actually...I just got into a med school!" by the end of the flight, practically everyone on the plane knew and was congratulating me! it was crazy (and, I have to admit, it felt pretty cool)

so, I guess the moral of my story is...you never know who is going to react in a positive way and be supportive of the outcome of this process. All that you can control is your own perspective and happiness...

 

[DropkickMurphy]

Here's my take: How do you expect them to understand? They have no context upon which to base an understanding of what premeds go through. As was pointed out before, nothing compares to allopathic admissions for stress level and the amount of BS they put us through.

Of course a lot of the stress and BS is of our own making as a result of the fact that most premeds (myself included to a certain degree) are high-strung, anal retentive overachievers who tend to drop into overt pessimism at the slightest sign of delay or a negative outcome.

Oh, and by the way Cavey, if you do get into Stanford, and do eat your own arm, I don't want pictures of that. I want video. 😉