Full disclosure? Advice?

[Lisa44201]

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I have difficulty recognizing facial expressions; by difficulty, I mean the better part of 70% of facial expressions I cannot identify. I have difficulty interpreting pauses in conversation. Subtlety is lost on me. Six months ago, I would have met the criteria for a diagnosis of Asperger's, at the very least; thanks to the DSM-V, I have no idea where I am (what I deal with is well beyond a simple communication disorder, but I'm not sure if I warrant an ASD diagnosis; FWIW, I am seeing a psychologist independently who is puzzling this out).

So. This PhD program is structured differently than my MS program; class sizes are 12-15 students (dear Christ, there's no way I'll remember the names of that number of people); I have significant difficulty filtering out background noises (subtle conversations in class can derail me for hours). My GPA and my workload says I'm not struggling academically, but I've definitely hit the edge of clinically significant impairment.

I'm taking a class with my adviser this semester. Last semester, I survived a class knowing full well that I was missing a lot of social nuances (in a Social Psych class, even - go figure; if nothing else, I'm getting good at recognizing the You missed something expression). Obviously, my adviser is someone I'll be interacting with on a frequent basis for the next four years; on the one hand, I don't want to come across as rude; on the other hand, I am well aware of the stigma/prejudice against individuals who aren't neurotypical.

So. Disclose? No? I'd hate to come across in class as a social buffoon; on the other hand, I'm worried about what disclosure means w/r/t m standing in the program.

 

[LisaLisa86]

It sounds like you're aware of your specific difficulties, which is a great first step. I have no clinical training (yet), but from my personal experience, I have a few thoughts.

First, is your psychologist talking with you about behavioral changes or problem solving that may make aspects of your PhD easier? For example, thinking about where you sit in class so that you're not distracted, how you are taking notes/listening in class (for example, the only way I can pay attention over the course of the class is to get an old school notebook, and take very thorough hand-written notes- figuring out the best routine for you may help), or trying to get a class roster of pictures and names so that you can study them, etc. (not sure these types of things will specifically work for you, but just thinking out loud). It is possible that making small adjustments over time could make a difference. Also, for the record, I am HORRIBLE with stranger names and faces- once in undergrad I introduced myself to the same girl at three separate parties, she told me off the third time- and I have gotten to the point where I just tell people when I meet them and apologize in advance. Doing this may reduce some of your distress in not being able to remember the names of your classmates.

As far as with your adviser, this is what I personally would do- I'm sure people will have varying opinions. I would have a talk with her, but avoid using clinical diagnoses. I would just let her know that you aren't great at picking up on social nuances, and you appreciate direct, honest feedback. If you let her know this AND you use direct/honest feedback on her, I think it's likely she will return the favor. Also, after problem solving with your psychologist, you might want to ask her about the possibility of obtaining certain things (such as asking the department admin for a roster of pictures and names of people in the department). Again, I would just say that you have difficulty learning names and faces, and that you would find it really helpful as you transition into your new program. The reason I wouldn't fully disclose is because you've only been working with her for four months or so- you really don't know each other yet and the relationship is still developing. I could definitely imagine full disclosure farther down the road, if you two develop a good relationship. But again, just my opinion, and I'm sure other people on here will have very different thoughts/opinions.

 

[Doctor Eliza]

I will preface this by saying that i went to a very harsh and unsupportive program. However, I would absolutely not say a thing at this point. Particularly because your disclosure has to do with something that would impact clinical skill. You don't want your profs to write you off as the autistic student who won't be able to relate to clients. Let them form their own impressions of you and go from there.

If you get a formal dx, you might consider getting documented with your campus office for students with disabilities. You wouldn't have to disclose to your profs unless you want specific accommodations, but it might offer you a layer of protection.

Good luck,
Dr. E

 

[Lisa44201]

I'm (mercifully) not a clinical student, so no worries there! My adviser is quite supportive of personal circumstances, but I don't have a good sense of the tone of the program at large - that's a skill I lack, and I've been hesitant to say anything because of that. I've debated the merits of going to the Student Disability Services folks depending on the outcome of the diagnostic work-up; I don't need academic accommodations, but I struggle with interpersonal interactions.

 

[xXIDaShizIXx]

I would tell disability support services and ask them for their advice on whether or not to tell your professors. That is really the best option we can give you. Regardless, don't let this affect your career, you will do just fine, no matter what anyone knows about you.

 

[bmedclinic]

I would tell disability support services and ask them for their advice on whether or not to tell your professors. That is really the best option we can give you. Regardless, don't let this affect your career, you will do just fine, no matter what anyone knows about you.

I dont know the answer to this, but is telling disability services and then not disclosing this to the professor of the courses (your advisor/other faculty) even an option? I'd be concerned that they might be obligated to tell professors in the interest of making accomodations. So I'd find that out, first.

Glad it's not a clinical program, but I'm still hesitant about telling professors. I've watched a lot of things held against graduate students that shouldnt be (cancer, for example). But, I'm a skeptic and absolutely do not trust academia, so take my thoughts with that disclaimer.

 

[InNae]

N=1 here, but at my institution our disability office absolutely cannot disclose a student's reason for accommodation without the student's consent. In situations for which a student needs an accommodation, we faculty are informed in writing about the accommodation itself (e.g., extra time for exams), but not the cause. I think that's the best case scenario for everyone - I'm happy to facilitate the accommodation, I feel satisfied that the student has a support system and won't fall through the cracks, and the student doesn't need to feel self-conscious that the profs know his/her personal business.

 

[woodstock219]

I have to second InNae's statement above. At the institution I previously worked at (I was in the counseling center and so worked with the accomodation office from time to time), the accomodation center was absolutely NOT allowed to discuss the cause of the accomodation to the professors without the student's consent.

In regards to what to do regarding disclosing to your Advisor, I have a somewhat unique perspective on the topic. As an individual who has a "mental disorder" and is applying to graduate programs at the moment, I have a somewhat different view than some of the other individuals above. I actually disclosed my diagnosis in my SOP, but with a very specific reason as well as understanding full well the risks I was taking in doing it. My reason was that I hope to specialize in the same disorder which I have, and so feel that having the disorder myself places me in a unique and stronger position as a potential clinician/educator. However, I also did it knowing full well that I very well could lose out on at least some of my programs due to bias from a POI reading that I am on the spectrum and throwing my application out on that reason alone. My counter-weight to that was the question I asked myself of, "Did I really want to attend a university where my POI has such a biased negative view on the disorder?" I'm hoping to attend a university with faculty who are highly trained in the assessment and diagnosis of mental illnesses and disabilities, so there's at least a chance that someone is going to notice the symptoms no matter how well I mask them through my coping mechanisms. If I'm not direct about it on the front end there's still the chance I'm going to face discrimination on the back-end. In my case (and please, don't overgeneralize it), there were very specific and planned reasons for my disclosure and they were done knowing full well the risks and benefits I faced.

My advice to you would be to ask yourself what the best case scenario would be for disclosing, what the likely scenario would be, and what worst case would be? From their, weigh the risks against the potential benefits and make your own decision based on a logical assessment of those possibilities.

 

[bmedclinic]

N=1 here, but at my institution our disability office absolutely cannot disclose a student's reason for accommodation without the student's consent. In situations for which a student needs an accommodation, we faculty are informed in writing about the accommodation itself (e.g., extra time for exams), but not the cause. I think that's the best case scenario for everyone - I'm happy to facilitate the accommodation, I feel satisfied that the student has a support system and won't fall through the cracks, and the student doesn't need to feel self-conscious that the profs know his/her personal business.

Good. Im glad to know that appears to be the case. I taught undergrads and dealt with the disability office and accomodations, but it's been a few years now so I dont remember what was disclosed. Note though that even if the professors dont know what the disability is, based on the accomodations they still may view you unfavorably.

 

[PsyDr]

might want to invest in Ekman's training program for recognition of facial expressions/microexpresions. I think I bought mine off of Gottman's website.

 

[CheetahGirl]

I agree with others to avoid self-disclosure at this point and do more research on your university's disability procedures. Let faculty gather 'data' on you that indicates it is (as you stated) "clinically significant impairment" before you suggest so.

Also, this may titter on clinical advice, but as a doctoral student, I'm sure you are resourceful enough to explore this avenue on your own and with your therapist: Look into support groups that can assist with necessary skills and tips that may make interpersonal interactions less difficult. There are such groups for individuals who experience alexithymia, Asperger's and other types of conditions that make social interactions less anxiety-provoking because the support group members practice among themselves and with trained facilitators. It's less harrowing than actual in vivo experiences because you have the support of others who are experiencing the same difficulties. And it will provide some support outside of your university setting.

Good luck!