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Thought everyone might get a laugh out of this during this stressful time of year!
The following is an actual question given on a chemistry mid-term. The
answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet,
which is of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and
heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate that
souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
lets look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to
Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster
than the increase of souls in Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa
Banyan during my Freshman year that "...it will be a
cold day in Hell before I give you my number" and take
into account the fact that I still have not succeeded
in acquiring her number, then 2 cannot be true, and
thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not
freeze.
The student received the only "A".
The following is an actual question given on a chemistry mid-term. The
answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet,
which is of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and
heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate that
souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
lets look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to
Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster
than the increase of souls in Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa
Banyan during my Freshman year that "...it will be a
cold day in Hell before I give you my number" and take
into account the fact that I still have not succeeded
in acquiring her number, then 2 cannot be true, and
thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not
freeze.
The student received the only "A".
