I have a specific dilemma I would like to ask the crowd. I currently attend Brigham Young University. I came to terms with my sexuality during my junior year and had a change of religious belief away from the Mormon religion which runs the school. The school prohibits any kind of homosexual behavior including dating, holding hands, hugging etc... Not wanting to give up my research and take longer to graduate by transferring schools, I have been dating guys, but keeping it quiet. I have been open about my sexuality in my applications to medical school, and my transition to accepting myself and my sexuality is a big part of who I am and something I would like to include in my application. Not to mention schools ask about sexual orientation in secondaries. I am worried about how to approach this issue in secondaries and interviews. I would love to just be completely honest, but I am worried that violating the schools policies will be seen very negatively even if the policies aren't agreeable. Any suggestions or thoughts on how schools will view this?
Gay at BYU... how to approach secondaries/ interviews?
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I don't think that people will see this as you violating school policies. You entered the school not intending to change your beliefs or religious practice - so those outside the school will not think you are some sort of bad person or rule-breaker.
I think you being open on the trail is your choice. I would apply very broadly. If a school is not okay with who you are and who you want to be, then applying broadly will hopefully give you enough room to find a school that is a better fit and supportive of you.
Also - so far in your post I don't think there is a way for someone to be able to identify you. However, be careful how many details you post if you fear some sort of reprimand. Best of luck - sorry it is so difficult for you right now.
I think you being open on the trail is your choice. I would apply very broadly. If a school is not okay with who you are and who you want to be, then applying broadly will hopefully give you enough room to find a school that is a better fit and supportive of you.
Also - so far in your post I don't think there is a way for someone to be able to identify you. However, be careful how many details you post if you fear some sort of reprimand. Best of luck - sorry it is so difficult for you right now.
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Gawd, that must have been a picnic! My sympathies. For what it's worth, I've always been impressed with BYU grads.
Being in the closest at a religiously strict school isn't seen in a bad light by my standards...it's a survival mechanism.
Just don't apply to Loma Linda or LUCOM, OK?
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Not the same situation as you, but similar. In many secondary apps I was asked to explain any time I took off from college. I wrote about missing a semester of school because I was supposed to go on a mission, but I had a faith crisis and decided against it at the last minute (after the semester had already started). I had even given my farewell talk in church haha.
Anyway, I wrote honestly about leaving Mormonism. It was the most life-changing (and best) decision I've ever made. I also wrote about it for adversity and/or diversity essays. In one of my interviews, the first question was about me leaving the church. I spent most of the interview answering questions about Mormonism and explaining its early history. This was a liberal school in New York, so perhaps my former Mormon life was kind of a novelty that made me stand out a bit. I ended up accepted there, so my honesty certainly didn't hurt me.
Assuming you are applying to schools that skew more liberal or progressive, I think you should be honest and tell your story. As you said, accepting yourself and your sexuality is a big part of who you are.
Best of luck to you as you endure the rest of your time at BYU. I hope you find a place where you can live your life without looking over your shoulder.
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I've had several family members leave the LDS church for similar reasons. It's a monumental decision and that takes some serious character and maturity. I would imagine it would be viewed very favorably by virtually every adcom.
Congrats on following your own path, wish you the best.
Congrats on following your own path, wish you the best.
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I had no idea until you mentioned that what you are doing is against the school rules so as long as you don't get caught and don't get an IA, no adcom will blink at the idea that someone at BYU was gay and half in the closet. Even if you did get an IA for that behavior, it is likely you'd get a sympathy vote at 99% of the medical schools in America.
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We had a young woman from BYU apply with an IA for fornication.
It is one of the few IA's I've ever seen that actually improved the outcome!
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OP have you graduated yet? If not you may be better off transferring schools. According to BYU's honor code, "disaffiliation from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints automatically results in the loss of good Honor Code standing." If you do not have good Honor Code Standing at the time of your completion of coursework BYU will not graduate you. That's a pretty big chance to take for not wanting to give up your research or take some extra time.
Best of luck on your applications
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Hey man, chances are that I'm about 20 miles away from you as we speak. As someone who was sealed in the temple and then left the church I can relate. I can't imagine that any adcom would hold this against you. The only risk I can see is maybe not being to graduate if you're found out.
Anyway , thing are much better on this side of Mormonism, trust me .
Anyway , thing are much better on this side of Mormonism, trust me .
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Hey I just saw this thread and thought I would chime in. I am a recent BYU graduate starting medical school soon. I left the LDS church about 2 years ago while I was still at BYU and decided to stay in order to not have to uproot my life trying to enroll elsewhere and having to possibly take extra classes. Though I didn't discuss leaving the LDS church in any of my secondaries last year, my disaffiliation from the church came up in a number of my interviews and the conversations were 100% unequivocally positive. It takes courage to be at a university that does not let students be who they really are (and in my opinion violates many basic human rights in doing so). Although many of us sign an Honor Code when we get there (often as very young freshmen), college should be a growing experience and it is where we explore, get educated, make decisions about our lives and become who we want to become. It is truly sad that a school like BYU does not let us explore possibilities outside of Mormonism or even our own sexuality. Good luck OP this cycle. Just know that the world outside of BYU is normal and accepting (most of the time). Attending BYU as an exmormon was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and many adcoms saw how much of a growing experience this was for me. They were really intrigued and impressed by my courage and decision to push through really difficult circumstances. You're a hero in my eyes and in the eyes of many others.
To anyone out there who is exmormon, LGBTQ+, or is just having to go through similar circumstances at a school like BYU, please don't be afraid to PM me and ask me questions/blow some steam. I know it can get incredibly difficult and lonely.
Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
To anyone out there who is exmormon, LGBTQ+, or is just having to go through similar circumstances at a school like BYU, please don't be afraid to PM me and ask me questions/blow some steam. I know it can get incredibly difficult and lonely.
Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
