Girl Friend or Boy Friend, Dental School adn 1000 miles

[KinKs]

For those of you who have a gf or bf and you are moving away for school do you plan to relinquish the relationship or are you gonna try the distance thing

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[NismoDDS]

For those of you who have a gf or bf and you are moving away for school do you plan to relinquish the relationship or are you gonna try the distance thing

Everyones has their own way of handling this situation.. my girlfriend and I will probably end up breaking up on good terms before dental school starts.. we've only been dating for 6 months and she'll be studying abroad for the next year. But if you and your gf have been dating for a long time and your not that far away you might want to give it a shot.

 

[KinKs]

I personally know that the distance thing is not my forte - I guess its better to break up than to cheat

 

[Danny0230]

I have a gf of 3 years, but I think it would be too hard and create too much of a distraction to keep a relationship going. I don't want to be going through a stressful/emotional breakup when I'm in the middle of classes/exams. I really want to take advantage of my new experience and a chance to live away from home for 4 years, and dont want to feel tied up with problems from back in RI.

 

[KinKs]

One dean at howard was very clear in saying that relationships are very very difficult as the dental school curriculum is rather demanding

Am i the only one who feels like i would be missing out if I were to be tied up back home

 

[flyingkao]

For those of you who have a gf or bf and you are moving away for school do you plan to relinquish the relationship or are you gonna try the distance thing

I'm in the same situation. I think it all depends on many factors, 1) If the relationship is strong enough to have a future. Otherwise, it's not worth it the time, effort, and heartache. 2) If your other half is very understanding of your situation, that you won't be able to put much time into the relationship when you're in dental school. Also, you're pretty much putting your relationship on hold for a good 4 years. That's a lot to ask.

When it comes down to it, it's all about how committed the both of you are to the relationship. Yeah it's really hard, but as for me I am going to try to make it work. We're only 600 miles apart and only a plane ride away . Also, there are dental students who are married with a family and they somehow manage...so if you really want to, you can definitely make it work.

 

[Booboohuevos]

It all depends, guys. I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 3.5 years now, and it's really not as bad as people tend to think. The last 2 years she's been in medical school about 3 hours away, and we don't see each other all that much. We do have webcams which are a GREAT thing to have as opposed to just talking on the phone. It is MORE than doable, and if you have a strong relationship, it can actually be better for you than a relationship in school. It gives you a lot of freedom to do things on your own and study without a significant other dragging you away from the books. I think that if you feel the relationship is worth it, long distance is worth at least a shot.

 

[student23]

I agree.... I've been in a long distance relationship for 5 years and 6 months (we're only 2 hrs away.. so we see each other as much as possible), and I plan on sticking with the relationship for the next 4 years or so (even though in dental school it'll be much more long distance =S =S ) until both of us are ready to get married. Being in a long distance relationship wasn't bad at all for school... it gave me my freedom to do things, and I was never tempted to cheat! Also, in my case, when we do get married... living together will be a whole new experience...and I won't be bored (thats a good thing.. if by then we've been together for almost 10 years!!)

 

[rollypolly]

It all depends, guys. I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 3.5 years now, and it's really not as bad as people tend to think. The last 2 years she's been in medical school about 3 hours away, and we don't see each other all that much. We do have webcams which are a GREAT thing to have as opposed to just talking on the phone. It is MORE than doable, and if you have a strong relationship, it can actually be better for you than a relationship in school. It gives you a lot of freedom to do things on your own and study without a significant other dragging you away from the books. I think that if you feel the relationship is worth it, long distance is worth at least a shot.

Ditto to what you said about webcams being an awesome way to communicate in a long distance relationship. I would highly recommend that anyone doing the long distance thing download Skype and get a webcam. It's free Skype-to-Skype calling anywhere in the world. Being able to "see" your significant other will make all the difference in the world.

 

[KinKs]

All good suggestions. I can appreciate the comments. I am not an addict or anything - but how do you guys cope with the sex factor, or a lack thereof.

 

[rollypolly]

All good suggestions. I can appreciate the comments. I am not an addict or anything - but how do you guys cope with the sex factor, or a lack thereof.

haha umm...good question, but I don't think you are going to get a straight answer on SDN. I think how people cope probably depends a lot on how often they see eachother. But, the fact is, many people can't cope. That may be one of the main reasons why long distance relationships don't work for some people.

 

[tigertooth08]

ha ha well I think I have the BEST possible situation for my first year of dental school. Before the move, I am 4 hours away from the BF. After I move, I'll be closer (2 hours) BUT he's deployed in Iraq for the time being. So... he'll be AWAY away for the first half of my first year. Time for me to have my own life and get adjusted, but I'll be VERY glad to have him back. I wish he could be back period, but make the best out of the situation, right? I think it depends on the couple and if the SO can be ok with not getting the usual attention. Since he's military, I've gone weeks without seeing him and a week without talking to him. I think we'll do just fine.

ETA: Since he's been deployed, I've gone MONTHS without seeing him (not cool- but doable).

Oh and for the most recent question... for me "out of sight, out of mind" and then we got webcams so he wasn't out of sight anymore... ;-)

 

[caffeinehigh]

Get her/him to move with you?

 

[rewJW]

One of the dentists I shadowed is my friend's father - I'm at her house a lot so he knows me personally and knows I've been in a long relationship. When I shadowed him one of the first things he told me was "One of the major rules about dental school: break up with your boyfriend before you start or you'll end up breaking up at the worst possible time and that can really hurt your future career." Given the direction my relationship is going in anyway, I think that I am going to take his advice. We'll all have enough stress already to have to worry about keeping a boy/girlfriend happy

 

[DentaLizzy]

Get her/him to move with you?

That's what my bf is doing! He's lucky enough to have a job that lets him live pretty much anywhere in the US, as long as there is a major airport there Also, his twin brother lives in Boston so that's another incentive for him.

 

[NSDDS]

Tough tough tough....a relationship, let alone a long distance one, is very difficult to maintain with the adversity of dental school, trust me, I know from experience.

 

[SMCohen]

Get her/him to move with you?

My bf is leaning towards moving down to FL with me, but that is dependent on whether he can find a decent job AND obtain a US work visa. I don't know how difficult that will be, but it would be great to have him around - it would be far less stressful on our relationship (4 years and counting).

 

[Crentist]

Yeah either way it is going to be tough, but for me, breaking up with my boyfriend would be like getting rid of my best friend just because it's going to be hard to balance him with my dental school life.
Sure, it definitely depends on the relationship--if you don't see a future, then no, it won't be worth the effort. But if both see a future together, throwing away something good because you might have hard times along the way seems backward. You are going to have difficult periods of your lives together and dental school will definitely be one of those, but if you can get through it, you will both learn so much about dealing with difficult times and working them out as a sort of "team." For me, my bf is such a strong support in my life, in addition to friends and family, and I'm going to want his support in dental school. Bad things may happen and relationships may falter or even fail, but I don't want to ask myself "what if?"
I don't know what will happen in the end, but I'm staying optimistic and adhering to the whole, "better to have loved and lost" thing I guess..
A boyfriend will definitely be a distraction in dental school, but I know I will need some kind of distraction to keep me sane!! I will just have to learn to maintain a balance and not get too distracted...

 

[Dentalishus]

Who is planning on marrying their girlfriend or boyfriend before dental school starts?

 

[phantasmagoriun]

Who is planning on marrying their girlfriend or boyfriend before dental school starts?

My boyfriend and I are planning to get married after the first year or so because we just can't afford it yet