Girlfriends need to realize that pre meds have to study

[clc8503]

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[rambo]

Dump her. I'm serious. If she doesn't understand, chances are she won't later on. Let's say you take time away from your 4.0 semester by pissing away money on her...

A) You'll lose that 4.0, end up with a 3.2 or 3.4, and effectively shoot yourself in the foot for admissions to med school.
B) After spending all of your money on her, you'll be broke, and in even more debt.
C) You choose to enter a post-bacc, and attempt to pull your GPA up. However, you are still dealing with her mind-numbingly banal banter each night instead of doing your homework. You end up with another 3.2.
D) You drop out of the post-bacc after dropping 50k on a non-degree granting program.
E) Your girlfriend leaves you now that all her other friends are settling down with their boyfriennds who are out of school and have careers.
F) Depressed and lonely, you start to experiment with alternative sources of sex, and contract syphillus (sp) from a transvestite prostitute named Angel.
G) You crawl to a local health clinic and each time you're examined in your deliriously feverish state you mumble incoherently about how you had always wanted to be a doctor.
H) That wasn't syphillus, it was HIV. Diseased and alone, you die.

OR...

Dump her, cure AIDS, become a hero.

Your call. Am I jaded and impartial? Nah.

 

[Shredder]

Give her an ultimatum about it, and if she doesn't accept then dump. There are lots of fish in the sea. Girls are too much to keep up with when you're a go getter.

 

[KNightInBlue]

Here’s the thing. My girlfriend and I just got into a huge argument because I spend around five hours or more each day studying in the library (She says I don’t appreciate her). Since I have been in college, my GPA has been between a 3.2 and 3.4 every semester. (Bringing my cum. GPA to a non to impressive 3.31). I will be a junior next semester. Therefore, I finally decided to buckle down and shoot for a 4.0 this semester as well as all others. I have been successful so far and even have a 107 % in my Anatomy and Physiology course (including bonus points of course). It feels great to know I that can pull off a straight 4.0 if I try! Has anyone else had to deal with a nagging girlfriend? I am confused as to how I should handle this situation. I finally have my priorities in order and now she has to screw it up with her selfishness. I feel like she thinks pre meds have it easy. What should I do or say to her? I am so confused. I hope someone responds.

Thanks,
Caraway

My situation was almost the same as yours. 3.4 at the end of my sophomore year. After I got dumped at the end of the summer before junior year, I had a pefect 4.0 for the next 2 years bringing up my cumulative to a nice 3.7.

Now I am not saying that the only way to maitain good grades in college is by breaking up with your significant other. Lots of ppl juggle both all the time. I was lucky in that even though I couldn't realise I wasn't that kind of person, my ex did it for me 🙂

Apart from rambo's hilarious worst case scenario above, I wouldn't really say break up with her. Maybe take a break?


But the all important question is, if she can't handle it now while you are a pre-med, how can she handle it when you become a med student?

 

[indo]

"pre-med"= totally unimportant since 91% of freshmen are "pre-med" and the other 9% are pre-law.

all girls will require some of your time.

It is all about balance.

If you think your girlfriend can't find a better looking, smarter, and richer guy than you you are sorely mistaken. If you dump her citing your need for time to study your "pre-med" curriculum she will undoubtedly immediately begin ****ing a medical student or physician just to piss you off.

 

[willthatsall]

Haha, don't let her find out you are churning out multiple half page posts on SDN. I know it's addictive, but girlfriends aren't understanding when it comes to that stuff. You could be spending that time with her...

 

[rambo]

"pre-med"= totally unimportant since 91% of freshmen are "pre-med" and the other 9% are pre-law.

all girls will require some of your time.

It is all about balance.

If you think your girlfriend can't find a better looking, smarter, and richer guy than you you are sorely mistaken. If you dump her citing your need for time to study your "pre-med" curriculum she will undoubtedly immediately begin ****ing a medical student or physician just to piss you off.

He's a junior now. It should be more like 75%. I say, if she's being clingy, she needs to go. He needs to find one that will put up with his schedule. He can live without tail for a semester or two.

 

[velo]

yeah I think you can strike a balance. Yes, its important to raise your GPA and congratualtions on your success thus far, but I'm sorry no premed curriculum should require 5+ hours in the library. Either you're studying more than you need to be (as evidenced by the supra-100% on your physio exam), or you're not studying effeciently. If its the first case, try to focus on what's most important in the classes, maintain that 4.0 this semester, but spend some more time with your gf. If its the second scenario, you may have a serious problem on your hands because if you need 5+hours/day in ugrad you're going to get swamped when the courseload increases in med school. my two cents...

 

[microman]

I think most of us guys who are in relationships have dealt with this to some degree. The fact is that any woman you meet is going to require a great deal of your time and attention. Eventually (maybe not right now as you're trying to bring your grades up) you will need to learn to manage your time more efficiently so that you can give your girlfriend the attention she needs. However, she will also have to learn to get by with less attention than she really desires. You need to make your priorities clear to your girlfriend. If she can't envision herself being with someone who is so busy you should move on.

 

[Shredder]

If you think your girlfriend can't find a better looking, smarter, and richer guy than you you are sorely mistaken.

Eh, so much for confidence

Haha, don't let her find out you are churning out multiple half page posts on SDN. I know it's addictive, but girlfriends aren't understanding when it comes to that stuff. You could be spending that time with her...

Definitely keep the SDN activity under wraps

 

[wends]

its not about the amount of time but the quality......just freakin treat her good when you do see her.......im sorry, my ass is busy too and if my boyfriend cant spend some time with me and make that time fun instead of bitching about how much work he has to do, he can shove it. there are plenty of fish in the sea.....im sure your girlfriend can find someone else quite easily........

 

[masterMood]

dump her, your sleazy girlfriend will mess up the rest of your life (i'm just being honest). Dump her, graduate, and then find a woman doctor to be your girlfriend if you get into med. school.

 

[willthatsall]

You know that guy Pre-Med Richard on Van Wilder? This guy reminds me of him a little.

 

[wilson04]

Did I assume a new identity and write the original post in my sleep? The OP's situation is pretty much identical to mine at that point (I'm two years older, though...have since graduated college in economics, worked in a health-related field over the last year, and will be going to post-bacc now to take the pre-med reqs).

I had a couple long-term relationships in high school/college and saw my GPA fall a little bit more than it probably should have as a result (though I always blamed my slump on the fact that I was into journalism, a field that doesn't put too much importance on great grades).

But, some of it was the dating. My last relationship ended during senior year, and I discovered that some guys can do a _lot_ better in school if they're not dating anyone...especially the high-maintenance types. GPA for me went from sub-standard during the first three years to 3.9 senior year. I had time to produce academic material that I was really proud of instead of the bs I had handed in before. A lot of credit for the academic improvement goes to the fact that I was 100% directed toward becoming an md. Some of the credit, though, goes to the relationships having ended.

So, yeah, if you're like me and have difficulty balancing a girlfriend and GPA, then figure out which one's more important (and be honest with yourself to figure out _why_ you're dating the girl). A 3.3 GPA from just about any undergrad is going to make it more difficult to get an MD.

Also, you gotta remember that girls are like the city bus - another one comes along every 15 minutes 😀 And, for that matter, guys are like the city bus, too.

 

[alumafly]

Dump her. I'm serious. If she doesn't understand, chances are she won't later on.

i agree...

if ur spending 5 hrs studyin as an undergrad then ur gf is in for a rude awakening when u start med school

👎

 

[Psycho Doctor]

its not about the amount of time but the quality......just freakin treat her good when you do see her.......im sorry, my ass is busy too and if my boyfriend cant spend some time with me and make that time fun instead of bitching about how much work he has to do, he can shove it. there are plenty of fish in the sea.....im sure your girlfriend can find someone else quite easily........

that's absolutely true.

send her a quick e-mail everyday reminding her you love her or something similar, and then once or twice a week spend some quality time with her.

 

[masterMood]

twisted is he by the dark side.

 

[bidster]

Just to be fair...let's remember that guys can be *just as guilty* of the same thing as the OP's girlfriend. 😛

to the OP: I agree with some of the other posters. Unless she tries and starts to understand what's important to you now--and congrats on the turnaround--just imagine what will happen when Ms. MCAT (a very jealous lover) comes into the picture next year....

 

[neoncandle]

Ever since I have been married my grades have gone up because I am with someone who understands that I must study to achieve my goals. So, find someone who supports you and your goals. In the end, Eric will benefit from his patience.. and in the meantime, both of us are happier than ever.

 

[synapse lapse]

its not about the amount of time but the quality......just freakin treat her good when you do see her.......im sorry, my ass is busy too and if my boyfriend cant spend some time with me and make that time fun instead of bitching about how much work he has to do, he can shove it. there are plenty of fish in the sea.....im sure your girlfriend can find someone else quite easily........

I agree as well 👍 My GF and I have been through this, and yes we argue sometimes, but life is about balance, and school/medicine should only be one aspect of your life. I have alife outside of medicine, and find plenty of time for playing drums, being with my GF, hiking, etc. Sure, med school will be more difficult, but life isn't about jumping from relationship to relationship in search of something better. There is always something "better", and you'll never find happiness that way. If your goals truly don't align, and you try and make her feel special and she still isn't happy, then maybe it is time to end it. It also depends on how much yall have put into the relationship (not how long, but what quality). Luck.

 

[!dr_nick!]

Just be good to her, or you might get a little something extra in that protein shake. 😉

 

[SitraAchra]

that scene with the garbage can always cracks me up right after he took the MCAT

 

[Blue Scrub]

Amen to this thread!

 

[Lindyhopper]

I can see turning ti SDN for the skinny on some program, or maybe opinions on taking biochem before the MCAT. But I hope no one is deciding the fate of intimate 😍 relationships on advise from random strangers on the internet.

 

[clc8503]

Thanks for all your post. I really enjoy reading them. It seems as though other students are dealing with this problem too. By the way, The reason I study for such long hours is so that I can actually learn the material for the MCAT, not just long enough to past the next exam. Don't worry, I will keep the SDN half page discussions under wraps. I just feel like I can relate to a lot of you guys. I have learned a lot of great things in this forum.

I love all the comments everyone has posted.
Keep them coming!

Thanks,
Caraway

 

[arashd]

If she is lowering your GPA as much as .0000001 of a percent, then dumb her a$$

I agree as well 👍 My GF and I have been through this, and yes we argue sometimes, but life is about balance, and school/medicine should only be one aspect of your life. I have alife outside of medicine, and find plenty of time for playing drums, being with my GF, hiking, etc. Sure, med school will be more difficult, but life isn't about jumping from relationship to relationship in search of something better. There is always something "better", and you'll never find happiness that way. If your goals truly don't align, and you try and make her feel special and she still isn't happy, then maybe it is time to end it. It also depends on how much yall have put into the relationship (not how long, but what quality). Luck.

 

[45408]

this is why a long-distance relationship has its perks

 

[Shredder]

this is why a long-distance relationship has its perks

true and then you can cheat too i love this violinist, i dont know what its supposed to be but im going to start using it everywhere

 

[LauraMac]

in any relationship i think it is crucial to respect the other person and his/her goals. if studying 5 hrs/day is important to you she should respect that, let u do it, and not pressure you to make changes that will ultimately hurt yourself.

i say give her an ultimatum as another poster said. tell her that becoming a doctor is your #1 goal right now, and if she can't support you in trying to reach your goals, you can't be with her.

at the same time, you need to be supportive of whatever she does and respect her and who she is.

 

[liverotcod]

Marry her and have a couple kids. Then neither of you will have any time whatsoever for anything.

 

[vmc303]

I would suggest not going into medicine. If you're having to spend so much time studying that you can't balance other things in your life, maybe you're not cut out for it.

 

[EMDream]

You know that guy Pre-Med Richard on Van Wilder? This guy reminds me of him a little.

I was thinking the same thing. I'm also thinking if you can't handle having a girlfriend while being a measly pre med then forget about being with anyone while in med school or doing residency.

 

[Jennifer25]

true and then you can cheat too i love this violinist, i dont know what its supposed to be but im going to start using it everywhere

I agree. Long distance relationships might be the better bet. They are not there physically to demand your time. However, the phone calls can be a bit of a nuisance, but you can bypass that with "I can't call you till after 9pm, when my free minutes start." I also feel like you can better control your time and maximize your time efficiently, if you see your significant other once every two weeks or so. and plus, distance and time makes the heart grow fonder.

 

[wends]

all the girl needs is a little affection and to know that she means something in your life......unless her major is cheerleading, im sure she knows that one has to work to do well in school..........once again, its the quality of time and not the amount.....i see my boy about 2.5 times a week, and we have fun.......the only time i complain is when i make time for him and all he does is want to sleep or watch basketbball...... 😡 😡 im a pre-med and i have time for other things.......its about not wasting time and efficient studying!

 

[TwoLegacies]

I think the few posters who suggested you won't be able to handle med school might be overlooking the fact that at this point, you are LEARNING how to juggle different aspects of your life. By the time you are in med school, you'll have had a lot more practice with that and can hopefully handle it with some grace.

Maybe you should take this as practice! I think it'd be silly to dump her straight up. This will sound cliched, because it is... but compromise is one of the most (if not the most) important parts of a relationship. Maybe she IS willing to compromise, but you just have to talk to her about it.

When I say compromise, I don't mean getting lower grades. You can keep your goals and your girlfriend if you want. You could study together. You could set aside certain times of the week when she gets your full attention, and times when school gets your full attention. There are also plenty of ways that aren't time-consuming to show her she's appreciated, like people mentioned before.

If putting in this effort still isn't enough for her, then you should consider breaking up. Whether you're pre-med or pre-whatever, a girlfriend should always understand that she can't be your number one priority. That's asking way too much of another person.

 

[leiface]

true and then you can cheat too i love this violinist, i dont know what its supposed to be but im going to start using it everywhere

Then you can cheat too? Who came up with this idea of long distace = acceptable to cheat?

 

[liverotcod]

Just a thought... to what extent is your library time actually studying, and to what extent is it socializing? Perhaps your SO perceives your time at the library not as work-time, but as play-time that doesn't involve her.

 

[Ross434]

I think its hilarious that we look at SDN as a sort of cheating on our significant others.

Secondly, i've found success (as a very driven person), in dating other very driven people. They're really understanding of wanting to spend time doing things that are important to you. We dont see each other uber often, but its cool becuase we're both really spending a lot of time pursuing our other loves (ie, sports, academics, ec's)

 

[clc8503]

I would suggest not going into medicine. If you're having to spend so much time studying that you can't balance other things in your life, maybe you're not cut out for it.

If I were studying 3-5 hours a day and were making B's and C's I could understand the justification of your argument. However, that is not the case. Comparative Anatomy & Physiology is a hard A$$ freakin class. It’s even harder when you have a nagging girlfriend breathing down your neck. I do have strong feelings for her, and would NOT place the fate of our relationship in the hands of an internet forum. I was just curious to see if there were other guys out their like me and how they handle this particular situation. Besides, I have heard of med students that study 8-10 hours a day (sometimes more). Since when did being an over achiever be a pre courser for med school failure???? Remember, you have to get passed the numbers game before you can even think about med school. Statically, few med school students flunk out. There is a reason that med school admission requirements are so tough. They want to make sure they nominate students that they are sure can complete their program. Also, I think you are out of line by telling someone that works their gluteus off that they are not med school material. I think it’s good to develop long study habits in undergraduate school. This prepares you for what you’re in for when you get to med school. For the record, my girlfriend and I have made up since last night. This sort of things does not happen very often with us. I guess I when I started this tread, I needed to blow off some steam.

Yours,
Caraway

 

[SitraAchra]

Just a thought... to what extent is your library time actually studying, and to what extent is it socializing? Perhaps your SO perceives your time at the library not as work-time, but as play-time that doesn't involve her.

I LOVE faking it in the library when I don't wanna do something with someone. I say "oh i'll be in the library all day" - little do they know my library has 2,000 DVDs that I can rent and watch in little AV rooms!

I am a king of fake-studying.

 

[liverotcod]

I can rent and watch in little AV rooms!

Are you sure you're not confusing "library" with "adult bookstore?"

Hint: if the "AV rooms" are coin-op, it's probably not a library. 😉

 

[SitraAchra]

"I can't eat lunch with you...I'm studying at this truck stop that sells interesting toys"

 

[PineappleGirl]

Call me crazy, but I actually think this is really good advice.
And funny as hell!

Dump her. I'm serious. If she doesn't understand, chances are she won't later on. Let's say you take time away from your 4.0 semester by pissing away money on her...

A) You'll lose that 4.0, end up with a 3.2 or 3.4, and effectively shoot yourself in the foot for admissions to med school.
B) After spending all of your money on her, you'll be broke, and in even more debt.
C) You choose to enter a post-bacc, and attempt to pull your GPA up. However, you are still dealing with her mind-numbingly banal banter each night instead of doing your homework. You end up with another 3.2.
D) You drop out of the post-bacc after dropping 50k on a non-degree granting program.
E) Your girlfriend leaves you now that all her other friends are settling down with their boyfriennds who are out of school and have careers.
F) Depressed and lonely, you start to experiment with alternative sources of sex, and contract syphillus (sp) from a transvestite prostitute named Angel.
G) You crawl to a local health clinic and each time you're examined in your deliriously feverish state you mumble incoherently about how you had always wanted to be a doctor.
H) That wasn't syphillus, it was HIV. Diseased and alone, you die.

OR...

Dump her, cure AIDS, become a hero.

Your call. Am I jaded and impartial? Nah.

 

[QHamp]

Girls are overrated at this stage of the game.

If you can balance it, do. If you can't... get her number and call her back in ten years.

You've got to determine what is more important.

 

[EvoDevo]

Marry her and have a couple kids. Then neither of you will have any time whatsoever for anything.

As always, the sane voice of reason in a wilderness of insanity. 👍

 

[beastly115]

Dump her. Clearly she wants someone that has a life outside the library.

 

[clc8503]

"pre-med"= totally unimportant since 91% of freshmen are "pre-med" and the other 9% are pre-law.

all girls will require some of your time.

It is all about balance.

If you think your girlfriend can't find a better looking, smarter, and richer guy than you you are sorely mistaken. If you dump her citing your need for time to study your "pre-med" curriculum she will undoubtedly immediately begin ****ing a medical student or physician just to piss you off.

That may be how you respond to getting dumped. However, I obviously date a higher a class of females than the one that you belong to. You know, the girls who aren’t sluts and actually have respect for themselves! Judging by the uncouth post you made, I would rather light myself on fire and jump off of the Taipei 101 tower in Taiwan than date a skank ho like you!

Yours,
Caraway

 

[Shredder]

That may be how you respond to getting dumped. However, I obviously date a higher a class of females than the one that you belong to. You know, the girls who aren’t sluts and actually have respect for themselves! Judging by the uncouth post you made, I would rather light myself on fire and jump off of the Taipei 101 tower in Taiwan than date a skank ho like you!

Yours,
Caraway

👍 uncouth

 

[NEATOMD]

Well, I went through 3 years of undergrad dating the same girl, who was obsessed with occupying my free time. I don't think dating her helped my grades or my stress level. I kept telling her, I didn't think she could handle me being a doc if she couldn't let me have more time to study, but she just didn't get it. I slowly managed to get more time to study. Basically, the summer after my Junior year in undergrad, I was working 120-145 hours per week and she got upset cause she never saw me. I eventually, got tired of the nagging and realized it would be best in the long run to end the relationship since time-wise things really weren't going to get much better for me (probably ever). I'm still friends with her and she still thinks it could have worked and I still know it won't. As for now, I'm getting ready to go to Med school next year and it will be nice not to have to worry about maintaining that relationship. That's just my experience. Good luck to you.

 

[doglover]

Girls are overrated at this stage of the game.

If you can balance it, do. If you can't... get her number and call her back in ten years.

You've got to determine what is more important.

Then in ten years you can look back and think "God, I was such a dork and my youth passed me by while I was sitting in the library with a stick in my a$$." It's totally possible to enjoy your time in college and med school and have a social life and a girlfriend, and it's also important to do so.