Giving up - Quitting for now

[sengineer]

I am giving up on the doctor dream and I hope others can learn from this, thus my intent to post. Basically due to my current financial situation and my wife exhausted from working for the last 10 years of our marriage it just does not make sense for me to pursue this any longer. It has been nonstop bickering for the last 2 semesters and even though we both earn 60000 a year we are living paycheck to paycheck due to hefty credit card debt. So make sure your situation is completely stress free for those who have families, cause it makes life 10 times harder. I dont blame her cause i only have a professional career for the last 3 years since i finished my engineering bachelors and this was also due to financial concerns which made me just do engineering since med school would have been longer. Now all i hear is that 'you could have been half way done with med school'. I worked dead end jobs 60plus hours a week for years prior to that. I have great grades and was gonna take the dat this year but well...
All the best to others in a similar situation.

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[NuttyEngDude]

Take care of yourself and good luck in the future.

 

[Hillo]

Or hold on to your "dream" for later, and move to Texas

I was actually confused since you mentioned "med school" and "dat"

 

[Dynamo24]

I totally understand. We just had our first baby a little over 6 weeks ago. I am having second thoughts about the long nights/days of med school, insane work hours of residency, etc. and missing my kids grow up and my wife being sick of not having a husband who is doing his part of the marriage. I'm considering PA school now, but we are hashing out the options on both ends. In my opinion, no job or career is more important than my family and it seems like you're in that boat, too. Good thing you recognized it long before things fell apart.

 

[JaBoomDay]

I totally understand. We just had our first baby a little over 6 weeks ago. I am having second thoughts about the long nights/days of med school, insane work hours of residency, etc. and missing my kids grow up and my wife being sick of not having a husband who is doing his part of the marriage. I'm considering PA school now, but we are hashing out the options on both ends. In my opinion, no job or career is more important than my family and it seems like you're in that boat, too. Good thing you recognized it long before things fell apart.

I think that if you feel this way then you're quitting for the right reasons. However if you are feeling any sense of bitterness or resentment toward your family/wife then maybe that can be a sign to really consider your options or at least refocus on your family life/marriage.

I wish you the best of luck! I know how hard it is to do this with a spouse. It's incredibly difficult to drag another person through this. It's stressful enough doing it yourself! Hope you can work it out.

 

[Dynamo24]

I think that if you feel this way then you're quitting for the right reasons. However if you are feeling any sense of bitterness or resentment toward your family/wife then maybe that can be a sign to really consider your options or at least refocus on your family life/marriage.

I wish you the best of luck! I know how hard it is to do this with a spouse. It's incredibly difficult to drag another person through this. It's stressful enough doing it yourself! Hope you can work it out.

Doing it with just a spouse is a cake walk. Having a baby, that changes the the game like you wouldn't believe.

 

[WaterPog]

There is nothing at all wrong with putting it on hold, as long as you realize that you may never be truly fulfilled until you make that real attempt.

I spent the last 20 years with my dreams on hold and while there are often times I wish I had just "done it right the first time around" there are very few moments where I would actually have changed it if given the chance.

Now I'm divorced, kids will be essentially done with highschool when I start med school, and I couldn't be much happier without winning the lottery....when the time is right it will be right and you will know it.

 

[sengineer]

Thanks for everyone's responses. The bitter truth though is that its not even the work load(which is very stressful) or time that is causing to make this decision. It's just the current final situation. If miraculously I was able to pay off all my debt and then get into my studies again; that would be ideal. I finished my undergrad when our first was born and I can tell you staying up nights to help feed the kid and then have a class during the day and work later made me into a zombie. It's funny to hear the younger kids who still live at home complain about studying and working part time jobs etc. Age is another factor and being 36 now, seems like I just left it too long. Good luck to all of you especially Dynamo; it actually works out well in that after a bad day to come home and have that baby smile at you makes it all worthwhile. The hard work starts as they get older....trust me