Guys with MD/DO Wives and Girlfriends?

[MedPR]

Are any of the pre-med males here dating or married to a medical student or practicing physician? My girlfriend is an allo-MS2 and I'm looking for some input on how you feel if you are in the same or similar boat as me. Best case scenario is I'll be starting MS1 when she is starting MS4.

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[dmf2682]

Are any of the pre-med males here dating or married to a medical student or practicing physician? My girlfriend is an allo-MS2 and I'm looking for some input on how you feel if you are in the same or similar boat as me. Best case scenario is I'll be starting MS1 when she is starting MS4.

Yup. Just got engaged to a 3rd year resident. I'm applying next year so she could very well be an attending where I'm going to med school. I'm ambivalent. I think we're far enough removed so that the most possible interaction I could have with her is maybe a later med school rotation. It also helps to have a calming influence, her having gone through everything a while back. She does get mad, however, when I'm getting excited about stuff that she remembers hating.

 

[mspeedwagon]

Not sure what insight you are looking for... but my girlfriend is finishing up medical school and has matched as a general surgery resident in NYC. I'm taking summer Physics in CA, then G-Chem II and Physics labs and moving to NYC at years end (I'll be submitting my application in the summer of next year).
The biggest challenge for me is going to be applying to med school in the NY area without quite having lived there a year, but I figure it's easier for me to finish off my classes than try and find a school where I can take them in NYC (very few schools would allow me to take Physics I and II lab in the same semester). I figure I can claim strong ties to NY as the plan would be to make that my home.
As for relationship issues, all relationships have their ups and downs. I like being with someone that keeps me motivated and is supportive and there are indeed a lot of sacrifices to make along the way. I can't tell you if it's all worth it yet. Ask me in a few years... and if we both are together, have great career, love each and live happily ever after then it was all worth it. For now, we are just chugging along.

Are any of the pre-med males here dating or married to a medical student or practicing physician? My girlfriend is an allo-MS2 and I'm looking for some input on how you feel if you are in the same or similar boat as me. Best case scenario is I'll be starting MS1 when she is starting MS4.

 

[dmf2682]

Not sure how residency in NYS works (I should, having grown up there!) but I've heard stories of people tricking the system. You might be able to get proof of residency by setting up your gf's apartment in your name. She could reimburse you later (i.e. she's living in your NY apartment while you establish residency) but you'd stay where you are and take classes til you can leave.

Probably want to double check if this is possible- see if having an apt in your name qualifies as proof- but it might be worth a shot.

Not sure what insight you are looking for... but my girlfriend is finishing up medical school and has matched as a general surgery resident in NYC. I'm taking summer Physics in CA, then G-Chem II and Physics labs and moving to NYC at years end (I'll be submitting my application in the summer of next year).
The biggest challenge for me is going to be applying to med school in the NY area without quite having lived there a year, but I figure it's easier for me to finish off my classes than try and find a school where I can take them in NYC (very few schools would allow me to take Physics I and II lab in the same semester). I figure I can claim strong ties to NY as the plan would be to make that my home.
As for relationship issues, all relationships have their ups and downs. I like being with someone that keeps me motivated and is supportive and there are indeed a lot of sacrifices to make along the way. I can't tell you if it's all worth it yet. Ask me in a few years... and if we both are together, have great career, love each and live happily ever after then it was all worth it. For now, we are just chugging along.

 

[Prncssbuttercup]

I have a guy friend with no real education beyond HS married to an MD, and another couple I'm friends with where the husband is an engineer and wife is an MD. My husband has a GED and has no issue with me going to med school...

 

[MedPR]

Thanks everyone for your input. I guess I'm looking for your opinions on what it's like to be "behind" your spouse and also how you have (or plan to) made it work if you were together during the busiest years (MS2, PGY1, etc). For the most part it doesn't bother me that I'm still a pre-med while my girlfriend is an MS2 (almost MS3), but lately the thought of not getting in for Aug 2013 has started to creep into my mind. If that happens, then best case scenario is I'll be an MS1 when my girlfriend is an intern (PGY1) and that worries me. Perhaps it's an ego thing (stupid, I know), but I also feel bad that she'll be telling residents and attendings that her boyfriend is a lowly MS1, or maybe even still a pre-med. I also feel like I haven't accomplished anything while she has already done so much. Do any of you ever feel that way?

I'm married to a family doctor (MD). I just finished one degree and am beginning premed this summer.

What specifically do you want insight into?

My wife has commented on her opinion apropos of my aptitude and comportment for medicine, but has specifically stated her reservations about me going to medical school because of how grueling it is, hours-wise. She would rather have my attention when she gets off her 11 hour shift each day, rather than vying for it while I will be studying for a shelf exam, or heading out to round at the hospital during residency; those types of things.

She has expressed full support, and is actually in a great position to support me during the process because she has been through it.

It sounds like your girlfriend is in the thick of med school, and is, by this point, well aware of the commitment needed to be successful there. I certainly hope the best for you and her.

For your consideration: If you will be MS1 when she is MS4 (the "easy" year), that means you will be MS2 when she is PGY-1 (the "melt-your-face" year). You will still be preclinical, hitting the books hardcore, and squeezing out any free time you have by the drop. She will be in her intern year where free time does not exist. Now, I cannot speak from personal experience, but, from all i've read, and from the apprehension expressed by my wife about the 1st (MS1), 3rd (MS3), and fifth (PGY-1) years....

Things can get rough.

I sincerely wish you the very best on your journey. You seem to be a big picture person, like myself. Take good care.

Thank you for the well wishes, I hope the same to you and your wife. Were you married while she was in medical school? If so, how was it on your relationship? Right now my girlfriend and I live together and often study together; she was very happy when I was studying for the MCAT because we were always together. I can't imagine what it would be like not living together or near each other though. She barely has any free time, but I definitely understand and try to keep her motivated. She's taking Step 1 in late June and her stress level is increasing by the day. Any advice to keep her motivated and on task when I know it means less time with her?

Yup. Just got engaged to a 3rd year resident. I'm applying next year so she could very well be an attending where I'm going to med school. I'm ambivalent. I think we're far enough removed so that the most possible interaction I could have with her is maybe a later med school rotation. It also helps to have a calming influence, her having gone through everything a while back. She does get mad, however, when I'm getting excited about stuff that she remembers hating.

My girlfriend and I have moments like that as well. She's so sick of studying the stuff she doesn't enjoy (like pharm), but all of it excites me and makes me want to start med school even more. It's really strange because we were pre-meds together and I always kind of dreaded med school because all I could think about was how time consuming and difficult it would be. But over the past two years (especially her MS1 year) I've watched her spend hours upon hours upon hours listening/watching lectures, studying, annotating first aid, and everything else for school and I just can't wait to get started.

Not sure what insight you are looking for... but my girlfriend is finishing up medical school and has matched as a general surgery resident in NYC. I'm taking summer Physics in CA, then G-Chem II and Physics labs and moving to NYC at years end (I'll be submitting my application in the summer of next year).
The biggest challenge for me is going to be applying to med school in the NY area without quite having lived there a year, but I figure it's easier for me to finish off my classes than try and find a school where I can take them in NYC (very few schools would allow me to take Physics I and II lab in the same semester). I figure I can claim strong ties to NY as the plan would be to make that my home.
As for relationship issues, all relationships have their ups and downs. I like being with someone that keeps me motivated and is supportive and there are indeed a lot of sacrifices to make along the way. I can't tell you if it's all worth it yet. Ask me in a few years... and if we both are together, have great career, love each and live happily ever after then it was all worth it. For now, we are just chugging along.

Seems like you're in a pretty similar position as me regarding how far along your girlfriend is and where you are. Do you worry that the difference in career/education level will create problems in your relationship? I know how you feel about having someone to keep you motivated and I definitely know about the sacrifices. Hopefully it ends up being worth it.

 

[mspeedwagon]

To answer below: I'm not too worried about the differences in education (more worried about being able to get in and stay reasonably close by). We did the distance thing for a while, and I don't think over relationship will survive it again.

We have our ups and downs (currently more down than up as she is anxious about starting residency). I hope it's all worth it in the end as well.


Seems like you're in a pretty similar position as me regarding how far along your girlfriend is and where you are. Do you worry that the difference in career/education level will create problems in your relationship? I know how you feel about having someone to keep you motivated and I definitely know about the sacrifices. Hopefully it ends up being worth it.[/QUOTE]

 

[MedPR]

To answer below: I'm not too worried about the differences in education (more worried about being able to get in and stay reasonably close by). We did the distance thing for a while, and I don't think over relationship will survive it again.

We have our ups and downs (currently more down than up as she is anxious about starting residency). I hope it's all worth it in the end as well.

Seems like you're in a pretty similar position as me regarding how far along your girlfriend is and where you are. Do you worry that the difference in career/education level will create problems in your relationship? I know how you feel about having someone to keep you motivated and I definitely know about the sacrifices. Hopefully it ends up being worth it.

Yea we've been having more downs than ups lately because she is starting to really freak about about Step 1. Do you know how she feels about you being "behind"? My girlfriend says it doesn't really matter to her, but for the most part she believes in the traditional male/female familial roles. Right now it doesn't really matter since we're both technically still in school, but I think it will change when she's a doctor and I'm still a med student (hopefully not still a premed).

 

[mspeedwagon]

I don't see cares about me being behind (nor do I really). We are working it out and hoping for the best. I think the most challenging thing has been trying to be in the same location.

 

[ChE04]

My girlfriend is a fellow, soon to be attending (in July). Met her while she was in residency. My decision to go back has been very rough on us as a couple. Me being behind her is definitely an issue for her, one among many. It's also a bit disconcerting that the vast majority of her friends in residency and her attendings keep telling me not to do it, because it's not worth it. Makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing after all (but here I still am).