Has applying to Med School made me a selfish humanbeing?

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by CRAZYTERP, Oct 29, 2002.

  1. CRAZYTERP

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    SO this morning I was told by my grandfather that my lil sis who is applying to undergrad schools thinks I am putting way to much emphasis on getting into med school to the point where she no longer feels important.

    Al I told her was to look at more state schools bc they were cheaper and with me going to medical school as well, there will be a much bigger burden on my family in the upcoming years (especially since my Mom is in school too). All i wanted to say was that it is MUCH harder to get into college now than it was 5 years ago when I applied and that she should look into more backup schools and that cheaper ones like UMD may be better than the expensive ones.

    However, she took this the wrong way and seems to think that me getting into medical school and spending 30 grand a year means she has to attend community college no matter where she gets in. Granted I realize now that I may not have been clear when I said what I said but the truth is I would put here lightyears before myself when it comes to being happy. I mean she is my lil sis and all i want is for her to experience the same type of great college experience I had. Is that too much to ask?

    So I ask you, my compadres, am I jerk for ebing overly realistic to my lil sis? Or, have we all kinda placed ourselves before others without realizing it?
     
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  3. Tweetie_bird

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    well, all I can say is be glad you got your parent's backup financially. I wish I could still do that. I mean, I could, but I refuse to because my parents need to take care of my little bro.

    In any case, I think that we people who apply to med school become very hard core. . . it's like. . . . .you learn how to "bid for yourself" the best bargain. We almost brainwash ourselves that "state schools, low money and residency" is all that matters; and our protective side wants the same out of our siblings. Thus, we may sound over-aggressive and selfish, it's just our way of doing things. This system makes us hardcore. Explain that to your sis and apologize to her if she has felt left out. Take her out for a treat; pizza, ice cream. Show her how your life is so dependant on this and you just messed up your priorities a bit. And tell her that "coming from your perspective," this is how you think. She needs to realize that it's been 5 years since you applied to undergrad and things may have changed so your rules may not apply. Explain your opinions, do not impose.

    All will be well after two scoops of ice cream. :)
     
  4. Woots32

    Woots32 kinda funky, kinda fine
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    I'm not sure about what exact word choice you used, but I don't think you were out of line in your sentiment, especially if your sister may be going to professional school herself someday. When I was applying to college, I could have gone to more expensive private schools. My parents told me that they had a certain amount of money set aside for my education - I think they started saving the day they found out my mom was pregnant. (Thanks Mom and Dad! :D ) Anyway, I chose to go to my state school because it's a great education, especially for the price.

    By the time my brother was applying to college (2 years younger), I was seriously thinking about med school. They made him the same deal, and he eventually made the same decision I did because he wants to go into law/politics.

    They say that once you get graduate degrees, where you went for undergrad isn't as important. So while tuition cost shouldn't be your sister's only factor for choosing a school, she would be smart to take it into account. Just my $.02 :)
     
  5. chloe5

    chloe5 Senior Member
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    I think you should advise your sister to apply to a broad range of schools, including "dream" and "backup" schools. She should not limit her options at this point by worrying about financial issues and/or your medical school aspirations. After she gets into places, she will have a decision to make and perhaps a decision about financing her education accounting for your needs. I can see how she perceived your conversation as premature and rather discouraging.
     
  6. athena21

    athena21 Senior Member
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    I could see how she would be upset. After all, I'm assuming you chose your undergraduate school without taking into account that she would also need college financing. Also, I think it's harsh to tell her to limit her options because of money. When you're applying to colleges, you believe the sky's the limit and you want to get into the best place, no matter what the cost. Just because you're going to medical school doesn't mean she should sacrifice. After all, as a grad student, you're able to get/eligible for more loans so your parents can focus on her tuition...sorry if this sounds harsh. I'm just putting myself in her shoes...definitely take her out and clear up the air...
     
  7. ckent

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    Not sure if I completely understand your story, but if you are worried about your med school finances being a burden for your family, then don't make it a burden for your family. ~80% of med students pay for med school and living expenses all by themselves, from loans.
     
  8. CRAZYTERP

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    Hey everyone,
    Thanks for your input. I actually did speak to my lil sis and things are completely fien, well there was some tears but we are an emotional fam. Anyhow, I wanted to clear a few things up. I did choose my undergraduate institution bc of cost and more like it not having to pay any tuition or very little tuition at my state school was above and beyond better than going to an expensive private school. I chose my school bc I knew she would also have to go to school one day and my parents would have to fund her education as well. Now she can go to whatever school she wants and I hope very much that she will get into the school of her choice, however, i wanted her to be realistic. Idon't want her dreams to be crushed anymore than I want my own or anyone else's. I mean maybe I was being too overprotective and harsh when I said she would end up at a community college if she didnt apply to "other schools" but I didnt mean any harm at all.

    Thanks again for all the great info and feedback!

    I think icecream is probably a great idea especially since i just burned all those calories in preparatin at the gym! peace out my peeps!
     
  9. I think people on here are being a little too harsh on you. I do think it wouldn't hurt to apologize to your sister for not communicating what you meant to communicate to her though. As a fellow UMCP alumni, I assume you meant to share your opinion that one can get an excellent education and social experience (while UM is no longer known as a party school, there is plenty of fun to be had whatever your personality type, and everyone loves our basketball team:)) at a great price. I agree with you on those points completely, and see no reason that you shouldn't tell your sister this. I agree that she should check out other options to see what is right for her, but I think that college students, regardless of family support or lack thereof, should consider finances as well as other aspects in choosing a college.

    I was told by my parents at the age of 12 that I was going to the University of Maryland for undergrad no matter what my SAT scores b/c my mom worked there and we would get a partial tuition waver. As a teenager, this seemed very limiting and unfair to me, but my parents paid most of my way through (with the exception of 2 semesters) and UM turned out to be a good school for me. True, it's not Harvard or Duke, but I had an excellent education that prepared me well for med school (except for Anatomy and Pharmacology the work has not been bad at all), got to be an undergrad TA, worked with kids on campus, made friends and study partners, and had plenty of fun (both w/ and w/out alcohol) instead of studying and stressing 24/7. I am truly blessed to have had my family's support and to have had a high-quality undergrad experience. And I am 100% undergrad debt-free.. Yes, I am taking out outrageous loans for med school, but I am not the only one and not the point here.. If I had to go back and decide where to go to undegrad again I would still have chosen Maryland (unless Harvard, etc. offered me scholarship money..). I think that what you told your sister is important, that sometimes we do have limitations in life (i.e. mom and dad can't pay for U of Chicago's 40K/yr tuition out of pocket) and have to make the most of them. But, let her know that you do care about her and that you will support whatever decision she makes as to where to go to college. Encourage her as well to discuss these issues with your parents and to look at all types of ways to finance her education (work-study, loans, scholarships, military, etc.). And definitely offer to help her with the college application process as a way of showing your interest and helping to patch things up. good luck!

    and to answer your original question, the answer is no, you are not a selfish jerk and teenagers can be very sensitive (I admit at 25 I can be that way too:)), so be patient and kind with your sister's feelings.
     
  10. BTW, UMCP can no longer really be considered a "backup" school; the average high school GPA there is now 3.75 (it was 3.6 when I applied in 1994-5) and their average SAT's go up a bit every year. I know people in the grades below me who had trouble gaining admission to UM. Unless your sister is a really stellar student, I would definitely encourage her to apply to other state schools like Towson, Salisbury, Frostburg, UMBC, and Western Maryland as well. no insult meant to anyone who attended these schools for undergrad, they are fine schools, but if you look at the statistics UMCP is considered the flagship institution and is the hardest to gain acceptance to. I am talking about state-run schools here, NOT JHU or the Naval Academy, for anyone not familiar with the schools in Maryland.
     
  11. lady bug

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    My little sibs think I get too much attention too (which I don't think is true by any means). But here's what I did for my little sis: the last time she came home with her report card, I baked her a GIANT cookie and wrote in icing on it, "You're one smart cookie!". That kept her happy for months. :D I highly recommend it.
     

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