Help me choose personal statement rewrite topics

[reaction mechanisms]

As much as I despise writing, I have come to the realization that I should start rewriting my personal statement as it's looking like I might be a reapplicant (on 3 WL currently).

In my EY2020 personal statement, I wrote about:

• My previous career as a hairdresser and how this experience helped me to be a great listener
• My family physician helping me to navigate through a major medical situation and doing so while taking into consideration my wishes as a patient - more specifically how this shaped my view of physician/patient interaction
• My experience shadowing an Ob/Gyn and how I discovered my passion for women's health

For my potential EY2021 PS I feel I should gear my story more toward my focus on primary care and caring for the underserved. I was thinking about...

• A brief opening paragraph about growing up in a small town, how we would have to drive 45 minutes to see the doctor, how joyous it was to grow up in a rural community, but how I yearned for more, and we eventually relocated to the suburbs
• Volunteering with the homeless, how I observed chronic illnesses, and realized these individuals needed access to healthcare
• Shadowing a pediatrician in a very small town and the importance of her presence for the community
• Working as a medical assistant for an ob/gyn and helping to provide annual preventative exams, cancer screenings, birth control, and prenatal care
• Ending with a connection back to growing up in a small town and how I've realize my personal desire to provide primary care in underserved communities

Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated! And if anyone is willing to read and critique my EY2020 essay, let me know. Thanks in advance.

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[med03]

Seems like you could make an new essay that combines your first, second, third, and fifth ideas.
—- are you applying to 3 year primary care programs?


1. Intro about small town
2. Observed challenges facing rural communities by shadowing pediatrician and medical volunteering
3. Especially among the homeless, you’re passionate about caring for the rural underserved
5. Ending that reiterated your strengths and highlights your desire to go into medicine (to care for the needy in rural communities because you’ve seen the incredible need and are now motivated to help make a lasting impact in the lives of those around you, etc.