Help!!! Save us from this horrible match!!!

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GummyD

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Thanks everyone for their advice.

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So my wife and I matched into our #5 location, not #5 combination.
One word: DEVASTATION.
I've already read the other posts about how s#!tty the match was to us so I won't go into that.
I'm just trying to find a solution now. Here goes:

1) Pulling out of the match and reapplying next year. Yes, I know it's a binding contract but what exactly happens? Frowny face sticker on your ERAS profile? Would it be a HUGE ding against you in the future when PD's look at your application next year?
!

massive. just enormous. Why should any pd trust you won't do the same thing again if you don't get a combination ideal for both of you?
 
Thanks everybody for their advice!
 
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So my wife and I matched into our #5 location, not #5 combination.
One word: DEVASTATION.
I've already read the other posts about how s#!tty the match was to us so I won't go into that.
I'm just trying to find a solution now. Here goes:

1) Pulling out of the match and reapplying next year. Yes, I know it's a binding contract but what exactly happens? Frowny face sticker on your ERAS profile? Would it be a HUGE ding against you in the future when PD's look at your application next year?

2) NRMP Waivers. Has anybody (especially couples) had a waiver go through successfully? Has anybody had a waiver not go through and still not honor their match contract?

3) Reapplying during residency. Can we reapply to same specialties/other locations during our intern year? If so, how? Any success stories?

Any advice would help.
Thanks everybody!

#1 is not an option. You are contractually bound to do this residency or not participate in the match in the successive year. Realistically what I've seen folks do some variation of #3, often with some difficulty.
 
so, are you and wife matched in the same city?
 
http://www.nrmp.org/res_match/policies/violations.html

With regard to #1: The above link discusses possible consequences of breaching the match contract. See section D. Being labeled a match violator can be a pretty serious thing (people like aPD can speak more to this), and keep in mind it follows you forever. Plus not being able to go through the match for a position could possibly screw you out of a training position for life.

With regard to #2, here is what NRMP says about waivers:
https://services.nrmp.org/r3/registration/pledge/pledge.html#sec2.5
It looks like the situation has to be pretty dire to get one of these. I believe the words "serious and extreme hardship" are used to describe such situations

As for #3, that seems like a tough one to me. Sure, you could probably do it, but your PD might be kind of sore as you're kind of leaving him/her in a tough spot (at least one position to fill as a PGY2, and two if both of you are in the same program). Plus consider all the money, time, effort, etc that will go into couples matching all over again. You could always consider using FindAResident or the "positions wanted" section here on SDN.

Just out of curiosity, what's so bad about the location you guys ended up in? Undesirable programs? Not the city you wanted? What specialty are you in? Do you think you guys could handle it for the duration of residency then get the heck out of there?

I am sorry to hear match day didn't go as you would have liked. Maybe give it a chance - you may end up liking it (or not; I don't want to presume to know that). Whatever happens, best of luck to you guys.
 
Thanks everybody for their advice!
 
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So my wife and I matched into our #5 location, not #5 combination.
One word: DEVASTATION.
I've already read the other posts about how s#!tty the match was to us so I won't go into that.
I'm just trying to find a solution now. Here goes:

1) Pulling out of the match and reapplying next year. Yes, I know it's a binding contract but what exactly happens? Frowny face sticker on your ERAS profile? Would it be a HUGE ding against you in the future when PD's look at your application next year?

I honestly don't think you want to do this at all. It really sucks but the NRMP is the only game in town and having a match violation will make it that much more difficult to even get another residency spot.

I matched into OB at a program way down my list. I know that MFM is generally competitive but somewhat less so than REI and Onc. Have there been any recent MFM matches from your wifes residency program?
 
Thanks everybody for their advice!
 
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I don't think I quite understood what you were getting at initially. So you did both match, into your fields of choice, in the same city, correct? If this is in fact the case, doing any of the things you are considering in the initial post would be career suicide for both of you.

I understand the disappointment and the concern about her fellowship chances, but if she's as good a candidate as you make her out to be and this program has shown that they can in fact place people in MFM, then she should be able to do it. And by that point, you'll be finished and you can just follow her wherever she goes.
 
Yeah, there was a resident who matched into MFM last year but I think that's about it.
Not the greatest track record.

It may not be great, but it's recent and that's something--it could be the start of a trend! If she gets good evaluations, gets involved in research (clinical or basic science), has support of the program in order to get published and/or present at regional and national meetings (posters or abstracts), and does well on her in-service exams, I'd be willing to bet she'll be able to get an MFM fellowship. She may not be from a "name" program, but she'll have the power of an impressive CV on her side, and initiative impresses fellowship programs.

You will be able to support each other throughout residency and both be able to accomplish your career goals. Above all, don't get down on yourself about where you ended up in the Match!
 
unfortuantley i know all too well the ins and outs of the couples match. it sucks for your wife that she matched at a not so great program. however, you guys obviously talked about it and it was on your list so it was always a possibility...
i think you guys just need to stay put. maybe she can try to transfer to a "better" program in the same region after she completes her first year. otherwise she should just stick it out. if she is that good then she will be a superstar at her program and should be able to land a fellowship.
someone always has to sacrifice when 2 people are in medicine. she will sacrifice now, and you will sacrifice when it comes time for fellowship or jobs. that is unfortunately how it goes...
i sacrificed and went unmatched for 2 years, while my husband matched at a fantastic program (and my grades/numbers are much better). now i am somewhat sacrificing program quality b/c i got into a local program while my husband finishes residency. when it comes time for a job, then he will sacrifice (unless i decide to go part time).
 
I agree with the advice to stay put at least for internship. It is possible that being the "big fish" in a little pond will allow your wife to really shine.
 
wait...so let me get this straight......

you are:

1) couples matching
2) she's a star student who applied for ob and you're a mediocre(?) student applying for EM
3) have matched in the *same city* in the specialties you *wanted*

dude, are you the kind of guy who buys a $1 scratch off lottery ticket, wins $3, and then throws it down on the counter in disgust because you didn't win $500?

If you really are a mediocre applicant(and honestly many sdners tend to underestimate themselves so without your numbers i dont know), be glad you matched period in EM...especially with the couples angle as well. I know people who were above mediocre and matched below #5 on their em list. I know people who were mediocre who didn't match and took a family scramble.

EM is mid-level competitive. Yeah, most average to below average US students can find a slot, but it's not a 100% sure thing.

And the idea that you should "get out" of these contracts(if you want to do EM and are a mediocre applicant) is ridiculous. Any red flag, and this would be a red flag, for an already mediocre applicant matching into EM would be the tipping straw. Just be glad you matched into EM period, and in the same city as your wife as well.
 
wait...so let me get this straight......

you are:

1) couples matching
2) she's a star student who applied for ob and you're a mediocre(?) student applying for EM
3) have matched in the *same city* in the specialties you *wanted*

dude, are you the kind of guy who buys a $1 scratch off lottery ticket, wins $3, and then throws it down on the counter in disgust because you didn't win $500?

If you really are a mediocre applicant(and honestly many sdners tend to underestimate themselves so without your numbers i dont know), be glad you matched period in EM...especially with the couples angle as well. I know people who were above mediocre and matched below #5 on their em list. I know people who were mediocre who didn't match and took a family scramble.

EM is mid-level competitive. Yeah, most average to below average US students can find a slot, but it's not a 100% sure thing.

And the idea that you should "get out" of these contracts(if you want to do EM and are a mediocre applicant) is ridiculous. Any red flag, and this would be a red flag, for an already mediocre applicant matching into EM would be the tipping straw. Just be glad you matched into EM period, and in the same city as your wife as well.

Tend to agree. You guys got the best match you were going to get. A lot of the issues with your wife's program were things you should have thought of before you ranked it. There isn't an easy out now, and certainly not until after internship IMHO.
 
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