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Help!!! - Torn between Medical School and Quitting my Jobs due to family reasons.

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical Allopathic [ MD ]' started by 2015_Doctor., 10.29.14.

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  1. 2015_Doctor.

    2015_Doctor.

    Joined:
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    Pre-Medical
    Please no negative comments, I'm already feeling really down over this issue and right now just need unbiased opinions about my dilemma. My friends have all told me to, "do me," but how can I do me? I applied to 15, got 3 rejections so far, all other 11 schools have been extremely silent, but I am no longer worried, one acceptance is all I needed and I am happy with that.


    Issue is I;m the first born in my family (5 younger siblings all girls + my dear mom) are 100% dependent on me financially and its not easy to just stop supporting them. I got a green card to come to the US to get a formal education, and with my grades was fortunate to get full scholarships to pay for my tuition and accommodation on campus for my entire undergraduate course. It was therefore easy to work 2 jobs and send money back home to them on a monthly basis so that my younger siblings can go to school, upkeep, medical issues e.t.c.


    I have always wanted to become a doctor, this is a passion that I don't think can ever die, and have done everything I needed to do to get my acceptance at that one school. I informed them of my acceptance and everyone was happy for me. I'm however afraid to talk to them about the financial aspect with regards to the fact that I am not sure if I can continue sending money home for I know I will not be able to continue to work my two jobs in med school. I don't know how they will continue to support themselves if I don't and this burden is so heavy at heart, I cry and feel selfish for accepting the medical school offer, when I should be happy about this.


    I don't know if anyone else has ever been in my shoes, but this issue is really starting to drain me. I know my mom cannot work due to health reasons, my siblings are too young to work, have no father, and our extended family relative-wise is just non-existent. Any advice please for I really dont want to hurt them in any way?
     
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  3. C.S. Peirce

    C.S. Peirce Abductin' 2+ Year Member

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    Wow...that is a legitimate problem...

    You may or may not have the kind of relationship with your mother where you can talk to her about financial issues, but if you do I really think you should. I have no doubt she's very proud of you and what you've accomplished, and she may not realize the sacrifices that your whole family might have to make in order for you to pursue medicine. If you can make sacrifices clear to her, you'll be on your way to working out a plan for how everyone might get through your med school years.

    One thing I would say is that you don't want to loose sight of the long term gains your employment as a physician could provide to your family. Of course, in the short term the sacrifices might be harsh, but they're likely to pay off manifold once you're practicing medicine. You're not merely "doin' you" by going to medical school...
     
    2015_Doctor. likes this.
  4. giraffesuptop

    giraffesuptop SDN Gold Donor Gold Donor 2+ Year Member

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    :( Omg I feel so sorry for you in this predicament. First of all, you should feel immensely proud of yourself for supporting your family and getting accepted to med school.

    Federal loans for med school are disbursed based on cost of attendance (COA) which is calculated by your med school. COA is usually >real cost of tuition, rent, food, etc bc med schools want to ensure their students will have enough money for all their expenses. The surplus loan money you are eligible for can be sent to your family.

    Also, contact the fin aid office of your future med school and explain everything, they might be able to help.

    Best of luck!
     
    Last edited: 10.29.14
    2015_Doctor. and Promethean like this.
  5. Promethean

    Promethean Syncretist 2+ Year Member

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    In addition to federal loans for medical school, you may be eligible to borrow additional money. Borrowing isn't a great long term strategy, but for the duration of medical school, it might make sense for you. Definitely talk to the financial aid office at your school. There is a way to make this work.
     
    2015_Doctor. likes this.
  6. Goro

    Goro 5+ Year Member

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    In some ways, one has to be selfish if you want a career. You have some hard choices to make.
     
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  7. raiderette

    raiderette 2+ Year Member

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    Most schools have a very generous COA. You could take the entire COA out, while drastically reducing your expenses. Your food, rent, personal expenses can all be reduced with careful budgeting and diligence. At the same time, your family will need to find ways to earn income or get support to supplement what you do. Luckily, your income in the long run will benefit the rest of the family. Of your younger siblings, are any of them able to begin working to help?
     
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  8. 2015_Doctor.

    2015_Doctor.

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    Thank you so much for your kind advice. I do have a very open relationship with my mom. She is just in a very fragile state right now, and I really don't want to add any stress to her life that would further deteriorate her condition. I will heed to the rest of the advice offered on here and talk to her when I come up with a solid plan about the changes that will take place as of next year. Thank you once again.
     
  9. 2015_Doctor.

    2015_Doctor.

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    Thank you. Your responses on this, has provided me with more insight on this issue. I will go over the financial aid information, did not know how this would work as its all new to me, and will definitely work on minimizing my overall expenses further. Thanks again.
     
  10. 2015_Doctor.

    2015_Doctor.

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    Thank you too Promethean, appreciate your feedback on this.
     
  11. 2015_Doctor.

    2015_Doctor.

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    Thank you Goro, I sure do have some hard choices to make and hopefully all works out for the best. Thanks much.
     
  12. 2015_Doctor.

    2015_Doctor.

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    Thank you Raiderette. I really appreciate your feedback on this issue. And no none of my siblings can work, they are too young to even get a job anywhere, even if they tried to. I'm 21, my oldest younger sibling just turned 13 and the rest of my lovely younger four siblings, all fall between the ages of 4-10 years. Getting a job is just not an option that is open for them now, but they will someday get there. They all go to school and help take care of my mom when school is out, so they kinda have their hands full too considering their ages. Thanks also on the budgeting advice, I try my best to cut down on so much stuff that I can easily do without and will continue to follow this path in med school too. I thank you for your honest feedback.
     
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  13. Gurby

    Gurby 2+ Year Member

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    I'm not really sure how this process works, but it could be worth talking to the school about a possible deferment. You're only 21 - you have lots of time to make this dream happen. You could defer your spot for a year or two, work full time, and then start medical school with enough money saved up to support your family in the mean time?
     
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  14. whatbout2morrow

    whatbout2morrow Is there anything you would not do for your family 7+ Year Member

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    As someone who was in a similar situation but was lucky in that my siblings were old enough to support themselves at the time I started medical school, I commend you for the sacrifices that you have made for your family.

    First of all, is it possible to have your family move to the place that you will be attending medical school? Even with loans, paying rent for yourself and for a separate place for your family will probably be a very large expense.

    Second, have you looked into federal/state aid, food stamps, medicaid, disability etc? If not, please do. You and your siblings will pay back into the system when you are able to, so feel no reluctance in making use of whatever resources are available right now when you need it.

    Third, talk to your financial aid office about your situation. Who knows, perhaps there might be a scholarship or something for students with demonstrated need like yourself. Also inquire about deferral for a year to work and save money if that is an option.

    Fourth, are you at all interested in the military? A program that specifically comes to mind is the Navy HSCP. From what I understand, it is a program that pays you a salary as a petty officer, but allows you to remain eligible to take out federal loans. Your eligibility for loans might be substantially lower because you are earning a salary, but if you are able to claim your mother and sisters as dependents on your taxes, it probably wouldn't be as bad.

    Never regret your dreams or think of yourself as selfish for pursuing them. You have transcended many obstacles thus far, and I have faith that you will be able to continue to do so.

    I wish you the best.
     
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  15. 2015_Doctor.

    2015_Doctor.

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    Thank you Gurby for your response. I had originally planned to apply to medical school last cycle during my senior year, and hopefully matriculate this fall of 2014, but decided not to. I graduated July 2014 and I'm currently taking Summer 2014 - Summer 2015 off just to concentrate on working to save as much as I can.

    If the savings from this year of work do not cut it, I may just have defer and take another year off as you suggested as this is an option that I really had to think about too. Thank you so much for your feedback.
     
  16. 2015_Doctor.

    2015_Doctor.

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    whatabout2morrow, bless your heart, Thank you so much for your advice, you have no idea how much I really appreciate it. I wish my family could move to my future med school state too, but they currently reside outside of the US and, its a whole other process to move them here. I'm sorry but that would not even be a short term goal right now, it's one of my long term goals, one day when I'm financially stable to make it an open option.


    How I do wish my home country had options for state/federal aid, for benefits such as food stamps, medicaid, disability e.t.c but they don't and these avenues are virtually non-existent, hence making them 100% dependent on me. I am looking into scholarship options, as you have suggested and praying that my undergraduate GPA together with my MCAT scores, and listed EC's work in my favor. (fingers crossed).


    I'm open to deferring if I talk to the school and they approve my request. And by the way it's so great to hear from someone who has been in a similar situation too. Your advice and all the other advice with regards to this has already lifted so much weight off of my shoulders. Thank you. And I love your quote, it has made me feel so much better today. Thank you. “I bear many a scar, but I also carry with me moments that never would have happened if I had not dared beyond my limits." ~Paulo Coelho.”
     
    Last edited: 10.30.14
  17. Perrotfish

    Perrotfish Has an MD in Horribleness 7+ Year Member

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    Are you now a US citizen or in the process of becoming one?
     
  18. giraffesuptop

    giraffesuptop SDN Gold Donor Gold Donor 2+ Year Member

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  19. moisne

    moisne 2+ Year Member

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    Here is a possibility,... The amount of loans a typical (nor sure about green card status) a med student can get is more than enough if you are willing to live stingily,... Which sounds like you are willing. The remaining loan money can go home. You could work a part time job and earn about 400-1000 $. My loans covered tuition, I have to work to cover my entire living expense and it's doable.

    Other alternative is you can apply to programs that will let you go to med school for free but after wards you owe whatever program time of service.
     

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