Help with Diversity Essay Please!

[PreMedRookie]

I am really struggling with this diversity essay. I feel like I am not completely understanding what they are looking for. Three pretty awful ideas are listed below:

1. Working to pay for tuition, living expenses, etc starting when I was 16. I worked full time during school for a total of over 5,000 hours. Talk about how I am now hardworking and dedicated.

2. I grew up in an almost all white town and was very sheltered. When I started working, I worked closer to the city. I was exposed for the first time to other races and religions. Also to ideas such as dropping out of school and such. I learned how those things don't matter.

My concern with #2 is coming off as being previously not open minded.

3. I work at my university and tutor people from all different countries and of different abilities.

Please Help Me!!!

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[TXHopeful2014]

For number 2, just talk about how your experiences made you more accepting of others. I think you would have a lot to talk about.

 

[PreMedRookie]

Do you think it is okay to say that I was relatively closed minded when I was younger. I didn't even realize that I was until I started working there but I don't know if it will come off as a huge negative...

 

[Lucky Louie]

Don't label yourself! One way or the other, let the reader determine what type of person you are.

 

[talinnlove]

Do you think it is okay to say that I was relatively closed minded when I was younger. I didn't even realize that I was until I started working there but I don't know if it will come off as a huge negative...

I wouldn't say "closed-minded" or "sheltered." There are ways to be candid about having not been exposed to diversity as a kid without using a descriptor that has negative connotations. Say that you came from a community that lacked diversity, and you went through a period of self-discovery when you were first exposed to backgrounds different than your own.

Or something that sounds better than that

 

[PreMedRookie]

I wouldn't say "closed-minded" or "sheltered." There are ways to be candid about having not been exposed to diversity as a kid without using a descriptor that has negative connotations. Say that you came from a community that lacked diversity, and you went through a period of self-discovery when you were first exposed to backgrounds different than your own.

Or something that sounds better than that

Ah thank you so much..that is really helpful. I suck at writing. I tend to just write what I feel, instead of changing the wording to make it more positive.

 

[whifsanity]

I've been stuck on this prompt forever too! Haven't yet figured out what i want to write...

but I think you could definitely combine 2 and 3 together to show how you grew.