Hooking up with classmates/ lab partners...

Dr Who

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    I was just wondering what you guys thought about dating classmates/ lab partners. I know that you might regret it afterwards but damn, when you are almost everyday with the same girl, sometimes things just click unintentionally. So what have been your experiences???
    Any advice?
     

    simoin

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      Dr Who said:
      I was just wondering what you guys thought about dating classmates/ lab partners. I know that you might regret it afterwards but damn, when you are almost everyday with the same girl, sometimes things just click unintentionally. So what have been your experiences???
      Any advice?

      just realize that with the way gossip travels and with how close everyone gets you really only get one shot at it. once you date one person in the class its real hard to date anyone else unless there is alot of time inbetween or if she has any enemies. good luck
       

      Samoa

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        simoin said:
        just realize that with the way gossip travels and with how close everyone gets you really only get one shot at it. once you date one person in the class its real hard to date anyone else unless there is alot of time inbetween or if she has any enemies. good luck

        Agreed. Not such a hot idea, unless you really think it's going to work out in the end. I haven't personally dated anyone in my class, but if I did I'd be way under the radar about it.
         
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          Dr Who said:
          I was just wondering what you guys thought about dating classmates/ lab partners. I know that you might regret it afterwards but damn, when you are almost everyday with the same girl, sometimes things just click unintentionally. So what have been your experiences???
          Any advice?
          dont sh!t where you sleep.

          besides, what would you guys talk about when youre off school? "dude, that lecture was really sh!tty." "yeah man." we once had an apt full of rowers, and it was the most boring thing in the world, b/c wed get home from practice and be like "... uh ... so practice was pretty rough, huh?" whereas when we had nonrowers, we were meeting new people, going to different parties, doing different things ... a lot better, imho.
           

          dancinjenn

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            People will find out. That is the wonder of gossip. And if they even think it's true, someone will mention it, then before you know it you've been in the sack, even if you haven't. If you must do so then keep it REALLY quiet.
             

            Samoa

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              dancinjenn said:
              People will find out. That is the wonder of gossip. And if they even think it's true, someone will mention it, then before you know it you've been in the sack, even if you haven't. If you must do so then keep it REALLY quiet.

              Oh my God, that's so true! I've been told more than once that "everybody knows everybody else's business," but it's really just that they THINK they know. And who ever bothers to ask the subject of the gossip whether it's true or not?:rolleyes:
               

              sacrament

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                I will never understand why everybody on here makes such a big deal out of dating classmates. SHOULD I, SHOULDN'T I, HOLY F-ING SH!T SHOULD I?!?

                And the responses:
                FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DON'T DO IT! Everybody will be talking behind your back! Rumors! Innuendo! GOSSIP. Because the person is in your class, see, and there are other people in your class too so THEY'LL FIND OUT! They'll find out and then they'll know and then they'll lurk outside your home with cameras, in the bushes, and snap candid photos.

                Where the F do you people go to school, the Hollywood University of Melodramatic Medicine? Are the other individuals in your class above the age of, like... five? I know for a fact that there is a large amount of inter- and intra-class dating happening at my school and, so far as I'm aware, NOBODY CARES. Possibly there is an underground society of backstabbing and rumor-mongering that I am oblivious to. I merely suggest that you be oblivious to such hypotheticals as well and go about your life like a normal person.
                 

                Samoa

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                  sacrament said:
                  Possibly there is an underground society of backstabbing and rumor-mongering that I am oblivious to.

                  Surely not, since we all know how much you love your classmates and what an advocate of group study and other social interaction you are. There's no way YOU wouldn't be aware of such activities.

                  And speaking of melodrama, who's the one using multiple colors, boldface, italics and ALL CAPS FOR SEVERAL WORDS AT A TIME?

                  Seriously, I don't think there's a lot of backstabbing, but rumor-mongering? Come on...even I hear occasional rumors, and I am the very last grape on the vine.
                   

                  sacrament

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                    Samoa said:
                    Surely not, since we all know how much you love your classmates and what an advocate of group study and other social interaction you are. There's no way YOU wouldn't be aware of such activities.

                    Now that I'm doing rotations with these people there is no way to avoid their inane conversation.

                    And speaking of melodrama, who's the one using multiple colors, boldface, italics and ALL CAPS FOR SEVERAL WORDS AT A TIME?

                    Seriously, I don't think there's a lot of backstabbing, but rumor-mongering? Come on...even I hear occasional rumors, and I am the very last grape on the vine.

                    You could date a Puerto Rican long-distance that nobody you know has ever meet or seen and there would be occasional rumors. The point is: who cares? I stopped caring about rumors not too long after Susan Spencer told everybody that I pissed my pants in the back of the bus on the way home from a track meet. I spilled my Snapple goddamn it. I just don't understand why everybody gets so concerned about their classmates (HOLY GOD!) talking about them! So concerned that they won't date the people they want to date. Life's short, f--- everybody else and do what you want.
                     

                    sacrament

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                      Samoa said:
                      Why does it bother you that I care?

                      I'm not bothered, I'm confused, because it isn't just you, it's every single person who responds to these posts when they pop up, on average, once a fortnight. Am I taking crazy pills? Am I really the only person who couldn't possibly give a flying sh1t who my classmates are dating?
                       

                      dancinjenn

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                        I hear them alot. Well so-and-so likes you know who and I found out because SHE went to undergrad with the other so-and-so...etc. And I saw so-and-so flirting at the bar at the post exam party...they were all over each other but then I saw the-other-someone-who-the-first-was-just-all-over whispering in (some other) HIS ear!!!! gasp!!! And did you know that SHE is a virgin???

                        I've said before that going to med school is just like going back to high school. The gossip only proves my point. The fact that some people don't pay attention to it doesn't mean it's not there.
                         
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                        Samoa

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                          sacrament said:
                          I'm not bothered, I'm confused, because it isn't just you, it's every single person who responds to these posts when they pop up, on average, once a fortnight. Am I taking crazy pills? Am I really the only person who couldn't possibly give a flying sh1t who my classmates are dating?

                          See, that's the thing you're missing here. I don't care who my classmates are dating either. And they shouldn't care who I'm dating (or not dating, or just broke up with, or whatever), either. But you said it yourself, that's not how it is. And it wasn't too long ago that you and Elysium were trying to keep your own interest in each other as much out of the grapevine as possible. And don't even try to tell me that was out of consideration for old girlfriends on this site. You two just wanted your privacy while you figured out what was going on between you.

                          (yeah, I know it wasn't nice to make it personal, but I like you two, even if you do both get all self-righteous about stuff.)
                           

                          Pox in a box

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                            Who's hooking up with who is the highlight of Mondays. When people aren't studying and taking exams, it seems like there's an underground society of smart kids in some kind of government breeding exercise. It's always interesting to watch them whenever they come to lecture to see if they'll make eye contact, talk outside, or act as if nothing happened.
                             

                            sacrament

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                              Samoa said:
                              See, that's the thing you're missing here. I don't care who my classmates are dating either. And they shouldn't care who I'm dating (or not dating, or just broke up with, or whatever), either. But you said it yourself, that's not how it is.

                              But WHO CARES how it is?!? I have two (2) contentions here:

                              1. I am skeptical that as much talk occurs as people seem to think. If you want to argue that I am incorrect about this, that's fine, because:

                              2. What self-respecting adult person would make decisions regarding who they would or wouldn't date based on the possibility of their classmates talking about it?

                              I therefore think this is a double non-issue, though I may be persuaded to downgrade it to a single non-issue. But either way.

                              And it wasn't too long ago that you and Elysium were trying to keep your own interest in each other as much out of the grapevine as possible. And don't even try to tell me that was out of consideration for old girlfriends on this site. You two just wanted your privacy while you figured out what was going on between you.

                              I dunno, I think I posted a big thing about her basically the first night I met her. Maybe not, but I don't remember specifically trying to keep it quiet. I don't talk about her because nobody on here cares. I talk about my impotence and addiction to internet porn because it's good therapy.
                               

                              omarsaleh66

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                                The worst is when u hook up with ur cadaver. Man, even that cant be kept on the DL. It was late, I was stressed out... i dont know what i was thinking okay??

                                And dont ever hook up with ur hot attending.. even if she looks like Stacy's mom!!!
                                 

                                Samoa

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                                  sacrament said:
                                  2. What self-respecting adult person would make decisions regarding who they would or wouldn't date based on the possibility of their classmates talking about it?

                                  Nobody, but does any self-respecting person like being Topic A of the rumor mill? Or even Topic B or C? There are people whose love lives are interesting to others, and whoever they date ends up getting talked about a lot. I'm not one of those people, but I'm also not oblivious to the things others have to deal with and how it affects them. And if I were going to date someone like that, I'd have to like them enough to deal with the crap.
                                   

                                  stoic

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                                    I plan on dating as many of my classmates as possible. It's fun. Just like when I was a freshman, i tried to hookup with as many girls on the floor as possible. And how i've managed to date roomates. It's just extra fun.

                                    You could date some boring random person, or you could date someone from class and sit back and enjoy it while the story of how you got caught ****ing at 3am in the med student lounge spreads like wildfire.
                                     

                                    a_student

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                                      stoic said:
                                      I plan on dating as many of my classmates as possible. It's fun. Just like when I was a freshman, i tried to hookup with as many girls on the floor as possible. And how i've managed to date roomates. It's just extra fun.

                                      You could date some boring random person, or you could date someone from class and sit back and enjoy it while the story of how you got caught ****ing at 3am in the med student lounge spreads like wildfire.

                                      lolz dating roommates
                                       

                                      gary5

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                                        I am definitely going to date someone in my class, I just haven't decided who yet. :O) The one I want is dating someone now, so I need to choose someone else. I definitely recommend choosing carefully. Make a good decision. With everyone knowing everyone, you won't have the options of changing your mind several times, since they'll already know your last girlfriend(s).
                                         

                                        Elysium

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                                          Samoa said:
                                          See, that's the thing you're missing here. I don't care who my classmates are dating either. And they shouldn't care who I'm dating (or not dating, or just broke up with, or whatever), either. But you said it yourself, that's not how it is. And it wasn't too long ago that you and Elysium were trying to keep your own interest in each other as much out of the grapevine as possible. And don't even try to tell me that was out of consideration for old girlfriends on this site. You two just wanted your privacy while you figured out what was going on between you.

                                          (yeah, I know it wasn't nice to make it personal, but I like you two, even if you do both get all self-righteous about stuff.)

                                          Just for clarification, sacrament and I never kept anything out of the grapevine. We were possibly the two most annoying, faggy people on SDN. I recall last year at this time (because we've been dating a year, which I guess isn't that long ago) posting friggin' song lyrics and pictures of ferrets and valentine's sentiments and a whole bunch of other equally mortifying things. Neither one of us give too much of a crap about anyone on this website or what they thought. And it took us about 2 days to figure out what was going on between us - the weekend we met. So, basically, I don't think you have any idea what in the hell it is you're talking about. But, thanks for keeping it personal. Nice touch.

                                          On the subject of the original topic, I think it's a bad idea to date your classmates because it's just generally bad form to eat where you sh1t. If you break up, you have to deal with them for the next 2 years, which can be a pain in the ass, especially if you have a small class. Hell yeah, people gossip. Big friggin' deal. They talk about you for 10 minutes and then it's onto the next thing. Med school is such a fishbowl, in a way. But it certainly shouldn't preclude you from finding your soul mate or some damned thing. If you really like someone, go for it. F your classmates and their gossip.
                                           

                                          Samoa

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                                            OK, so just to make sure I have the story straight: the weekend you met was the very first time you ever spoke to each other, and it was a complete coincidence that you happened to run into each other, and there was no planning involved, and no thought beforehand that you might be interested in each other. There was never a time that you knew each other, and knew you liked each other, but weren't ready to call yourselves a couple, or tell the world at large about your interest. OK. There's no need to attack me or send me nasty PMs, just because I happened to have been around at the time and have a different perspective.

                                            All I'm saying is, every couple goes through a period of becoming sure of each other, however long or short it may be. At some point, yes, you have to be willing to go public with it. But until you're ready to do that, it's nobody else's business.
                                             
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                                            Elysium

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                                              Samoa said:
                                              OK, so just to make sure I have the story straight: the weekend you met was the very first time you ever spoke to each other, and it was a complete coincidence that you happened to run into each other, and there was no planning involved, and no thought beforehand that you might be interested in one another. There was never a time that you knew each other, and knew you liked each other, but weren't ready to call yourselves a couple, or tell the world at large about your interest in each other. OK.

                                              All I'm saying is, every couple goes through a period of becoming sure of each other, however long or short it may be. At some point, yes, you have to be willing to go public with it. But until you're ready to do that, it's nobody else's business.

                                              I really hestitate to answer this, because this whole line of reasoning in getting really boring. If you want to consider the two weeks we were talking on AIM before we met in person the period when we weren't ready to call ourselves a couple, then you win. My experience is that calling two people a couple when they've never met is about as juvenile and pathetic as I can imagine. And you don't know whether you "like" someone or not until you meet them in person. As soon as we met, we had no problem "telling the world at large" about our interest in each other. Before we met, I had told more than one person on this website what was going on (and so did he). So, you're basically just flat out wrong. We didn't give a rat's ass about gossip on the friggin' internet or anywhere else. And now, I'm quite certain we both have better things to do than debate this very silly issue any further.
                                               

                                              typeB-md

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                                                Elysium said:
                                                I really hestitate to answer this, because this whole line of reasoning in getting really boring. If you want to consider the two weeks we were talking on AIM before we met in person the period when we weren't ready to call ourselves a couple, then you win. My experience is that calling two people a couple when they've never met is about as juvenile and pathetic as I can imagine. And you don't know whether you "like" someone or not until you meet them in person. As soon as we met, we had no problem "telling the world at large" about our interest in each other. Before we met, I had told more than one person on this website what was going on (and so did he). So, you're basically just flat out wrong. We didn't give a rat's ass about gossip on the friggin' internet or anywhere else. And now, I'm quite certain we both have better things to do than debate this very silly issue any further.

                                                did you guys ever cyber?

                                                roflLMAO!!11

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                                                anothertbmember

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                                                  Wow, this was such a funny thread. That was so awesome. Such a good study break. People date, people talk about it, people get over it, sometimes when it doesn't work out the crap from it lingers. That sounds about right. People are smart in med school (let me have this assumption it helps my argument, I know it's not always true) so they will figure stuff out. Big deal, who cares, I wouldn't if I didn't already have a girlfriend AND if I found one of my classmates attractive. Whatever.
                                                   

                                                  SocialistMD

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                                                    Dr. Who-
                                                    I think from the posts that have gone on so far, you can see why it might be a bad idea to date a classmate. That being said, I'm sure anyone can come up with a good reason to not date any person for some reason or another. Have I seen some people who dated and now no longer speak? Yes, but no more than after fights of people who never dated. So, if it doesn't bother you that people might talk about your relationship behind your back (which they may already talk about you anyway without your knowledge) and if you are good about having non-difficult break-ups, then I say go for it; it is a waste to pass up dating someone you would normally date simply because they are in your class.
                                                     

                                                    azzarah

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                                                      Personally if I like someone who likes me too I go for it without hesitation
                                                      There is no reason to think too much as far as love is concerned cuz it just doesnt make sense :love:
                                                       
                                                      how can you not date someone in school. there is no time to have a life off campus.
                                                      everybody is an immature rumour monger on campus, but that is to be expected. most students havent lived life very much and are not developed.
                                                      at my school most of the relationships are from before medical school or with classmates for conveinence sake if nothing else. my school's curriculum is jack-ass though, most people study 6-8hrs a day just to pass.
                                                       

                                                      lilmo

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                                                        i love dating classmates, makes multi-tasking that much easier. studying has now become "quality-time." a hot date is going into the anatomy lab and checking out cadavers on a friday night. and board review books make great gifts :D
                                                         

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                                                          Samoa said:
                                                          Nobody, but does any self-respecting person like being Topic A of the rumor mill? Or even Topic B or C? There are people whose love lives are interesting to others, and whoever they date ends up getting talked about a lot. I'm not one of those people, but I'm also not oblivious to the things others have to deal with and how it affects them. And if I were going to date someone like that, I'd have to like them enough to deal with the crap.

                                                          Screw the rumor mill......if people decide to discuss your relationship, let them. Look at the advantages of dating a med student, if you catch something, access to drugs, if you don't catch something, access to drugs, if you guys have a hard breakup, access to drugs....... I think we see where this is going.....Seriously, who cares, if you can't handle people making judgments about you, medicine was a bad call to make....."yes dr. wilson I know that only a circus monkey would have diganosed mr. smith with appendicits, i didn't see the fracture, anyone could have missed it..." :) Thank you surgery rotation.
                                                           

                                                          Finally M3

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                                                            wiryMD said:
                                                            Screw the rumor mill......if people decide to discuss your relationship, let them. Look at the advantages of dating a med student, if you catch something, access to drugs, if you don't catch something, access to drugs, if you guys have a hard breakup, access to drugs....... I think we see where this is going.....Seriously, who cares, if you can't handle people making judgments about you, medicine was a bad call to make....."yes dr. wilson I know that only a circus monkey would have diganosed mr. smith with appendicits, i didn't see the fracture, anyone could have missed it..." :) Thank you surgery rotation.

                                                            I met my girlfriend (and future fiance) during our surgery rotation MS3. Very romantic :laugh:

                                                            And for some reason in our class, a LOT of inter-class couples ended up engaged or married. I think 10? in the WSU Class of 2004.
                                                             
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